My Dad Bob—Died 6 Years ago Valentines Day
February 14, 2010 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Scott Hammond
I am realizing that the pain of missing a loved one transforms with time. I actually relish remembering my father Bob–one of the Greatest Generation who impacted my life with his love for God, people, and nature.
Valentines Day is becoming a joy in rememberance of the love, fellowship, and good times we enjoyed with my earthly father, Bob Hammond. He was the sweetest guy who really “Got it” when it came to thankfulness and gratitude. He was always and eternally grateful for all the “nice occasions” he was experiencing by the grace of God. He always gave God all the credit….faithful, thankful, joyful, and prayerful…in all things.
I still find myself wondering why i am reacting or acting as he would have in given circumstances. Help!—I am becoming my dad!….both good, bad, and the ugly. At the end of the day my hope is in the resurrection at the end of days when Jesus calls us home and we have eternity to get caught up. this hope is a driving force to live and love and to go forward—even in grief. This Great Gathering is more than beyond what I can conceive in my puny brain–so I am forced to trust, believe and have faith in the word and the Author, Perfecter, and Finisher of my faith.
See you soon dad and Abba Father God.
Scott
Discovering Mercy/Being Forgiven of $331.00
January 10, 2010 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Dad Sez, Goal-setting, Health, Relationships, Scott Hammond
I got a speeding ticket for going 54 in a 35 zone right in my Hometown one Monday last July.
Bail….$331.00 american dollars.
I paid the fine and went to traffic court to explain why…
I was surprized by what I found–
- The Judge
- My accusor
- The Law
- Authority
- My Guilt
- Other guilty people
- and then…Mercy
Long Story Short…I got forgiven the ticket and my money back because they lacked a document.
My “Aha” moments…
Law and authority is real and can really change your life–ask they guy who lost his licence.
Mercy, grace, and forgiveness is cool and we/I need to play it forward–give mercy to those around me-by the handfuls.
I think I will slow down as well…
Time and Fathering…Part 1.
December 28, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Dad Sez, Family, Fathering, Scott Hammond
Writer and Father David Swanson shares his thoughts on what it takes to be a better father. In part one of this four part series David focuses on time.
Before having children, we fantasized about what it would be like to be a father. For some, it was peanuts, popcorn, and baseball games. For others it was placing their chair and table in their upright positions and flying away to far-off places. But one thing’s for sure. The fantasy never entailed working long hours, stressing about finances or career obligations, or fighting with a wife over how to raise the kids.
As a father of three, I decided that I was not going to settle for being the absent father who accepted the reality that, “being a good father means being a provider. And being a good provider means limited time with my kids.” I wanted to be the father I fantasized about, and I was willing to do whatever it took. Not too long ago, I was forced to do just that.
About five years ago, I was working 50-60 hours a week in a busy practice as a child and family psychologist in Encino, CA. My practice grew and grew until I was working 6 days a week, most days until 9 at night. I wanted to cut back because I wanted to be at home with my children. But I was afraid that if I cut back on my hours, people would assume that my practice was full and they would stop referring me. This would mean potentially losing our home and my practice.
A very smart and kind pediatrician friend encouraged me to take the risk. “You need to be at home with your kids,” he advised me. “If you don’t have any available times for clients after school, parents will take their kids out of school to see you.” After hearing my oldest son complain of my absence, I became determined to take my friend’s advice and reduce my hours. I decided that I would leave the office by 6 pm and I would not work on weekends. This was an incredibly stressful time. But fortunately the advice my friend gave me was correct. People did bring their children in during school hours. We didn’t lose our home. To this day, I believe it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Sure, we had to take a step down in lifestyle, but I don’t think my kids care. I don’t know if they really even noticed.
Today, I coach their sports teams, we jump in the trampoline, we have Nerf gun wars at home (yes, in the house!), and we just got back from the Leo Carrillo Tide Pools where we hunted for starfish. I am the father in my fantasy. In my practice, I am often visited by fathers who wish they could be the father in their fantasy. These fathers often ask the question, “Where do I start?” When we evaluate their “father fantasy,” we usually come up with four core areas on which they choose to focus. I have laid out these four areas below.
Time
Tim Russert, former host of NBC’s Meet the Press and author of Wisdom of Our Fathers, said, “You can shower a child with presents or money, but what do they really mean, compared to the most valuable gift of all—your time? Vacations and special events are nice, but so often the best moments are the spontaneous ones. Every moment you spend with your child could be the one that really matters.”
The fact of the matter is that you are either a “present” father or a father who is “absent.” You cannot plan for life. You will never know when your child will utter his first word. You will never know when he will take his first steps. And you will never know when his first girlfriend will break up with him. Life happens and it is not subject to a plan. You are either there or you’re not. Planning vacations and special time are very important in moving closer to your family. Your child will always remember the Disneyland trips, the skiing vacations, and snorkeling in Hawaii. But will you be there when he is forced to deal with the pains of life?
TIME MANAGEMENT MADE EASY–THE 80/20 RULE
November 23, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Goal-setting
Time management—
We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time. Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life. Show me what you do with your time and I’ll show you what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on your core strength. If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything. Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.
Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time. Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities. Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible. Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.
“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom. The “work your plan” part has to do with time management. Planning is great, but is useless without execution. Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.
The 80-20 rule is evidence of this…. The Peitro Principle states this: You accomplish about 80% of your results from 20% of your work. 20% of any group or team usually contributes to 80% of the work; this 80/20 notion is a fixed law in business, church, family or any part of life.
The 80/20 principle as applied to your workday is to find your personal “prime time” then leverage that time in the most productive way possible. 96 minutes is 20% of an 8 hour day. To schedule around your 20% “prime time”, where you are most productive and efficient. This is the key to leveraging time, productivity, and accomplishment. For most people their prime time is in the morning. This is the time to get all of your core work accomplished. This key time is to be secured and set aside as the valuable commodity it truly is. Prime work time should be scheduled on a daily basis and should have compelling content at its core. Planning, goal setting, reviewing, communicating, executing initiatives, key meetings, key document creation, and much more are all the key elements of utilizing your prime time window.
In our daily Prime time we should focus on activities that—
- Contribute to our customer, family, stakeholders success and satisfaction
- Booster personal productivity and performance
- Support your family or organization’s strategic vision and goals
Time management tips—
- Know and use your calendar or Daytimer
- Prioritize demands on your time
- Keep your priority list in front of you
- Keep checking your progress with time management.
- Stockpile work or questions, and to schedule says its time work on them. Only work on things in your scheduled to do so.
- Seek support when you need it— delegate
- Develop techniques that help you when in a unique situation
- Pick a morning or an evening to work when no one is around and get organized. Order creates less stress and helps focus
- Spend a few minutes at the end of the day putting everything in its home base and getting ready for the next day. Remember… trash it, act on it, refer it, or file it away.
10. Keep yourself motivated.
The idea here is to have a balanced life. This begins with healthy relationships and healthy personal spirit. Living your life in balance and alignment starts with living your priorities. The peace and congruity that results is compelling. A life lived well by living your priorities and being able to have fun energizes you and gives a deep sense of satisfaction.
You know you’re on the right track when—
- Your customers, boss, family and peers praise your accomplishments.
- You meet your sales, personal, or family goals and have a positive performance
- You are often considered for additional responsibility and special projects.
- You feel good about your work and family and are energized by them.
The Covey idea of sharpening your saw and resting so you can work more efficiently is the key. A life lived in balance with family, work, community, friendships, and personal fulfillment is truly a productive life.
It all starts at time management, personal discipline, and self-control. Just do it.
Time management is—
The definition of Time management is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.
SCOTT HAMMOND .
THE 12 POWERFUL MOVES TO END CHAOS
November 15, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Scott Hammond
1. Block out specific time in your planner for all activities.Manage time well.
2. Use the 5 minute rule to preview your day and week.
3. Make a daily or weekly to do List. Stick to it.
4. Tackle the hard things first. Eat the Frogs! Get past them quickly and efficiently.
5. Delegate everything but your Genius!
6. Stop being available 24/7/365.
7. Schedule your interruptions. Set aside & plan time for them.
8. Insist that people bring you Solutions not just problems.
9. Make a daily appointment with yourself–Gym, fun, etc…
10. Find a quite place away from the phone, distraction,etc…
11. Reward yourself for the little victories. Starbucks? Home early?
12. Stop putting yourself last all the time. Do stuff for yourself sometimes.
10 Ways to Become a Better Father
November 24, 2008 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Uncategorized
It has now become necessary that fathers understand a few top 10 ways to become a better dad because those days are gone when the mother was solely responsible for the overall upbringing of the child.
The first way that comes to mind is to spend a greater amount of time with your kid. Either you spend time with your kid now or watch him fly away as he grows up. Time comes first. Quality time comes next. Once you have planned the time to give to your child, then, look at ways to make the most and best of this time.
The second way to become a better dad is to take an interest in what the kid is doing. Kids are smart and can tell when the dad is actually interested in what they are doing. They will respond to daddy once they understand that what they do is important to dad. If they can see that dad does not consider their activities and concerns as important, they will take it as a lack of support.
Third is to participate with the children in their activities. Just try and study, play and participate in their activities and see the difference. Any child would love to have the feeling that his day to day activities are as interesting to his dad as it is to him. He immediately gets a friend.
Fourth, trust the kid. He is one small guy, facing the whole wide world and the only person he feels safe with is you. Repose the same trust in him. When he makes a mistake, try and get to the bottom of the problem and resolve it.
Do not blame the kid without full investigation. In case the fault is with the child, try and understand the circumstances. Give the child the understanding so that he can cope with similar situations better.
Another way would be to eat at least one meal together everyday as this is the time when you are most relaxed and you can simply chat with your kid over a meal.
Next be with the kids at bed time. This is the time when they like to be calmed down after an active day. They need to be re-assured that their parents are there just before slipping off to sleep.
To become a loving father to your kids, making a habit of reading aloud to the child at bedtime everyday will give him a sense of steadiness as well as enjoyment.
Praying together is another way of bonding with the child.
Lay down basic rules and be firm, but not inflexible about them.
Get to know his friends and involve yourself in some activity together with them.
These are a few top 10 ways to become a better dad and following them will definitely bring your relationship with your child forward.
Vincent Yim is the founder of http://BetterSmarterKids.com, he created kid’s weblog is for the purpose of providing a platform to all parents who can share and learn valuable ideas and tips in bringing up our children by understanding their interest behaviors viz children healthy foods, educational toys, kids hobbies, clothing, activities and games, schooling and moral values….etc.
10 TIPS FOR FAMILY TIME
September 11, 2008 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering
Tips to better Family Time
Thanks to allprodad.com
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Parents and their children are spending less time interacting with each other. As a result, many children are getting less personal love and attention than their parents did. American Demographics reported that parents today spend roughly 40 percent less time with their children than did parents a generation ago. To help families stay connected, below is a list of helpful family time tips. Keep in mind, quantity and quality time is important when choosing activities. So build memories around exciting events by keeping your family time creative and enjoyable. Print out the following tips as daily reminders.
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| 1 Eat together & listen to each otherMost children today don’t know the meaning of a family dinnertime. Yet the communication and unity built during this set-ting is integral to a healthy family life. Sharing a meal together allows the opportunity to talk about each other’s lives. This is a time for parents to listen, as well as to give advice and encouragement. Attentive listening conveys a message that a person is really interested in another. It also imparts a sense of worth and helps develop trust. Therefore, listening is a critical link in successful parenting. |
| 2 Read oftenIt’s important for parents to read to their children. The latest research indicates that reading to your children cultivates an interest for knowledge and stimulates language development. It also increases their attention spans and helps them become more curious. Look for books that your child would enjoy reading. After reading, ask questions about the content. |
| 3 Do chores togetherPart of what goes on in the home is the development of teamwork. Functional family life depends on the contribution of everyone. Assigning chores is the most productive way of teaching responsibility and accountability to your children. Doing chores with your child will help foster good communication skills. |
| 4 Help with schoolworkA great way to spend quality time with children and light a fire of learning is to help children with their schoolwork. A parent’s eagerness to help will cause a child to become more interested in school thus improving his or her grades. Regular trips to the library for school projects are an inexpensive and enjoyable way to spend time with children. Helping should begin with an understanding that children are responsible for homework. Parents are there to help their child get organized and to encourage them when they get stuck. |
| 5 Start a hobby or project Choose a fun activity that your child is interested in. Activities like cooking, crafts, fishing or biking will make great hobbies that can open the door to exciting family time. Once a child learns a new recipe or is able to cast a lure accurately, let him or her take the lead with your supervision. |
| 6 Play games
New technology has made video games more prevalent. As a result, many children are spending long hours in front of the TV playing computer programs. Parents should find creative ways to spark an interest in family-oriented contests such as board games or card games. This will give parents additional time to talk and nurture their relationship. |
| 7 Plan a family outing
Sometimes getting out of the house is important. Hop in the family car and go for a drive. Prepare a picnic lunch and visit a local park. Take time to play catch or ride a bike. A stroll in the woods will help parents interact with their children. Also, a visit to the zoo or museum will spark a child’s enthusiasm and lead to lengthy discussions. |
| 8 Encourage athletic activities
It is vital for children to exercise. Sports not only strengthen the body, but also build character and determination. Whether it’s a father pitching a baseball to a son or a mother and daughter nature walking, finding time for athletic events is important for a child’s emotional and physical development. This is a great opportunity for a family to interact. |
| 9 Create a Family Time calendar
Since many parents have hectic schedules, time with children often becomes a low priority whether intended or not. Post a calendar on the refrigerator and have parents and children pencil in special events. Knowing when you’re going to meet may also help you think of creative activities. Commit to keeping this schedule free from interruptions. |
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10 Pray together & attend a house of worship Nothing is more special than taking a few minutes each day to pray with a child before bedtime. By explaining the purpose behind prayer, children will learn the importance of faith as the foundation for the family. Also, when parents go to religious services, they instill in their children a reverence for God. Churches can also offer invaluable support to families. Thanks to allprodad.com |
3 Top Mistakes Dads Make
June 9, 2008 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Relationships
1. Not Having Family as #1 Priority….Not having and keeping family relationships at the top of life’s priorities. Identifying and making your wife and children the focus of your life and existence.
2. No Time Management/Execution….Not really living and investing your resources(time, money,focus,gifts, and life units) in family life/relationships. Allowing the urgent to dominate the truly necessary.
3. No Accountability/Responsibility….Answering to no one at any time. Not having someone who will hold you accountable and ask the hard questions about living your said family/fathering priorities.
The 5 Languages of Love
April 23, 2008 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Health, Relationships
“All we need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true!
We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us.
The key question for me and you is can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love. To those we do love?
Here the five languages of love…
- Words of affirmation… this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
- Quality time… this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
- Receiving of gifts… showing others we care, and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
- Acts of service… To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally: to serve someone.
- Physical touch… To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch: hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.
I, being a man ,really like number five and number one. A word of encouragement and appropriate hug can fill my emotional tank and keep me going for long periods of time.
What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most?
Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love…