LEADERSHIP AND LEADING LIKE A LEADER
|“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time…”
Leaders press on and press in; they run counter to the culture of convenience or opinion.
Think about your personal leadership. They see life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then begin to live as though your life makes a real difference—because it does! Here are some ideas on how to show your leadership
1. To Impress or to Influence?
Would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life? Impressions are on the surface; therefore, they are often superficial. Influence, on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more time, patience, resources, and relationship.
2. Your Life’s Lessons.
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings? Can you safely share these with others who can benefit from your mistakes?
3. Your Disposition.
Is your disposition credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine? Do you act and speak with genuineness and transparency in the way you treat others? Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?
4. Leadership’s Purpose.
People are the priority. Are you able to connect with people and are you a relationship builder? Do you serve and meet needs? Do you truly love other people unconditionally? Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership?
5. Posture of a Legacy Leader.
Do you live in a mental posture of being open, teachable, and always learning? Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes? Do you walk and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living? Can you be a life-long learner or do you get stuck in old paradigms and ruts of thinking about life?
6. Passion and Legacy.
Passions define leadership. What are you passionate about? What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion? What would you do for free if it were possible? That is your passion.
7. Your Mission in life=People.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you? Then invest yourself in quality relationships with people. Be an example to follow. Serve others. Be communicative and relational with those in your life, world, and network. Press in and take the initiative.
Developing Dynamite Topics
Speaking in business is a key skill set. You will be judged by not only the words you use—but in how you use them. Become an exceptional speaker and you will win in business. This is true for a CEO, salesperson, or any front-line staff. People will judge your company by your ability to communicate the values and culture of your business.
What Is A Dynamite Topic?
Find YOUR Hot Topic in your industry and set yourself apart-fast!! Develop one that people remember. Find a memorable topic–something people will resonate with. This is not the same as a hot or trendy topic—Make it unique, memorable, and “you.”
Hot Topics vs. Dynamic Topics
Hot topics are the same as they’ve always been—Motivational, inspirational, sales team building, etc…
The problem with hot topics—they have too much competition—not so with a truly dynamic topic.
Trendy and hot topics are hot for a short time—then they fade fast—consider Miley Cyrus …
The danger with trendy topics is that they die out.
Why you want a Dynamite Topic
A dynamic topic reduces the competition–Think of how many voices there are—this will set you apart from the pack. This unique topic narrows your audience—you become unique and singular and one of a kind. Start by narrowing your topic down.
The Importance of Passion
Why you need passion…You will spend a lot of time on the subject
Reading, researching, note taking, rehearsing and more—you will “own” this topic.
What books interest you?
What television programs do you watch?
Is there a topic that people keep asking you for?
That’s one you should concentrate on—find out what your audience wants and what you are passionate about.
Developing a Niche
What do you know that’s unique? Do you have credibility?
You may have studied a very specific subject very intensely—what do you know?
You are already an expert in something. Finding what it is can be a challenge
Be controversial if you can–People like contrarian views.
A. Must have a hot title otherwise no one will remember it
1. Brief–3-5 words is best
6. Ask a provocative question
Testing Your Topic
Once you have a topic you must carefully analyze it…
Do audiences ask for more?
Do people ask you to expand on it?
Finally, find your passionate, dynamic topic and develop it. It will set you apart and you will be the expert in your field. Go for it—you know stuff no one else does—You have embedded knowledge…..help us and teach us what you know.
“80% of life is showing up.”
I was sitting with my friend at a recent networking meeting. As I was speaking to her, I realized how far she’s come in learning how to network, speak, and connect with people. She had developed her people skills and had really become rather professionally transformed. She had “bloomed” and come in to her own. She came from being a “wallflower” to become a gnarly networker–in a short period of time.
Let’s explore about how folks like you and I can become great networkers, speakers, marketers, and communicators. How do people go from good to great—often in short order? I have seen many people come into “bloom” and come to connect to their own experiences, gifts, and skills in their midlife. Many folks actually come into their “professional prime” rather late in midlife. Their talents were always there—just latent and waiting for the right conditions. It’s amazing to see others come into their own as they exercise their gifts, experiences, and talents to communicate freely with others. They basically find their “voice” and a new ability to joyfully participate in (professional and business) life. They bloom.
An example of this is my friend, referenced earlier, who was rather shy. Her background was not in business and she had very little business acumen. With application and time and work– she became a very proficient networker, speaker, and communicator. She had really “bloomed”. She applied herself and went out into the world and made herself learn to deal with, relate to, and even love people and become a proficient speaker, marketer, and “gnarly networker”. She is now rather fearless when it comes to groups, meetings, and even direct selling.
This “blooming” is much like akin to a flower; in their infancy they are small buds. Flowers, like folks, when they’re given their correct growing conditions, they bloom—often magnificently. When the rosebud is small and insignificant it has very little beauty and no scent. They’re actually thorny and not much fun to deal with. When it’s given the opportunity to develop, a rose in full bloom is the pinnacle of God’s creation. They’re lovely, smell great, and beautify any landscape or room. In like manner, when people encounter a midlife “bloom” –they often beautify the world with their gifts and “fragrance.” They may even smell and look better!
We actually have the ability to set the stage for our own professional and personal growth. We can set it up to bloom professionally and more brilliantly. With fertilization, light, correct nutrients and with the right location– a flower– or a person– can be magnificent in short order. Kind of like my friend–she put herself in a position to grow personally and saw the results rather quickly. In the same way, you and I can set the stage for growth. Know what you want. Show up. Be present. Help others. Serve. Be kind…
A lot of blooming is being exposed-being in the light. Being out there and exposed to the elements and to the nutrients needed to develop our “inner bloom.” We can actually grow quickly and more profoundly if we do it with intentionality. What is it take to be intentional? It takes a goal and focus and execution. It takes time management– it takes work and effort. Much of it is simply showing up and being relational. Zig Ziglar says it well—“You must circulate to percolate.”
Much of life is figuring out what it means to come into our own. How do you develop those in to your gifts and other skill sets that lie dormant in your life? Part of the answer lies in your DESIRE to grow and to expand and learn. Come out of your comfort zone. If you’re willing, then sometimes the execution of the necessary effort becomes rather easy. It’s often at that point that we can grow and come into our own and become of use to others.
This notion of being of use to others is the primary motivation. How can you and I be of use to our family, our community, and our world? The answer is coming to your own and finding the next level of “best”, going from good to great and then “blooming.” Be willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary and let nothing hold you back from becoming all you can be. Come into your own today. We have been waiting for you a long time. Be like that flower that comes out of the bud phase of their life into full fruition. This fruition gives life, color, smell, and sensory benefit all that experience it. Be that open flower today. Go out and set the stage then bloom in all your brilliance and glory!
“If you’re in business for just the money—you’re about half paid.”
R.L. Hammond (1921-2004)
My dad was an insurance agent in San Diego County in the 1970-80’s. He lived a life of serving others and his country in WWII. He taught and tutored me in much of what I know and do in business today.
The following practices/ideas of his are sure to ratchet up your business acumen:
- BE KIND TO EVERYONE—“It doesn’t cost anything to show kindness to others, Scott,” he would say. Be nice. Play nice. A smile and a small kindness go a long way.
- HAVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE/SHAKE HANDS AND GREET PEOPLE- People love to feel important (because they are!). An appropriate handshake and a greeting really affirm others and establishes rapport-quickly. Give the gift of appropriate touch.
- TELL GREAT STORIES—People live in stories…We all relate to a good tale and learn more from a compelling story than a lecture. Stories bring relevance to our topic and to our relationships.
- BE A GOOD LISTENER—This tells people you affirm them and value them. Empathy is a powerful relationship builder and establishes credibility, reliability, and shows you really care.
- BE AN ABOVE AVERAGE SPEAKER—Learn the art of public speaking. Good speakers know how and what to communicate and when. You can learn to speak well if you apply yourself to the disciplines and use the tools available to you. “Go to a Toastmaster Meeting”, he would tell me.
- HAVE AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR—Laugh sometimes. Have fun with people and stop the somberness that permeates some business cultures. Be appropriately playful with people who like to play and laugh, and cultivate the ability to really laugh at life.
- DEVELOP LIFELONG RELATIONSHIPS—Be the person who reaches out and calls and takes the initiative in your relationships. Be that person who spends the time and effort to get to know and serve others. Givers really do gain!
- GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT…FREELY—Be that person who can freely affirm, encourage, and genuinely build others up in a truly authentic fashion. Heck—tell those you love how you feel.
- BE A GIVER—Share your life, world, resources, experiences, gifts, and time as freely as you feel able and willing. Be that person who “walks the talk” in your actions and your words. Give to others expecting nothing in return—you will be blessed.
- BE SPECTACULAR ON THE PHONE—Learn to use the phone like no one else. Make purposeful and powerful calls that build rapport and relationship. Learn to network using the phone to make great calls and reach out to those you hope to build alliances with. Know how to relate to people via the phone on a regular basis.
10.5. BE YOU—Just be yourself not a second rate version of someone else. Trust yourself, be yourself and others will resonate with the “authentic you”. There is only one of YOU—be the best you possible and you will succeed in life, business, and awesome relationships!
“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
“There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.
“Every time a football player goes to play his trade he’s got to play from the ground up — from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.
“Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization — an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win — to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.
“It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there — to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules — but to win.
“And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.
“I don’t say these things because I believe in the “brute” nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle — victorious.”
- V. Lombardi
1913 – 1970
Help your kids ease into sleep with some pre-sleep routine that works for everyone.
This is key as it actually sets the stage for the next day in many ways.
We often start with a warm bath followed by the customary tooth brushing—those dental bills!
We then have a variety of bedtime “tools” depending on the age of the child.
My wife will often have a reading time with our 2 young boys centered around books they like.
With my older, special needs son, it is more of a time of getting him “tucked in” and comfortable followed by prayer.
This all includes appropriate and customary “kisses goodnight”, hugs, and acts of affection.
Tell your kids you love them—and why.
Every family melts down–sometimes! When things aren’t going well what can you do as a leader-parent?
Here are a few tips and ideas you can employ TODAY to help you and the fam get through the “rough spots” we all encounter in family living:
- Call for EVERYONE to take a :60 second “time-out”—Stop and walk away, take some breaths, and remove yourself from a volatile situation first.
- Call for EVERYONE to “freeze” (remember freeze tag?)—Stop the action and words of everyone for a minute or so before resuming.
- Discuss the Scene (drama!)–Have everyone stop and consider their roles and how they might make some changes in tone, words,body language etc…
- Replay the Scene–Make it a better “scene”. Replay it as many times as necessary to make a more positive scene and consequently a better overall “Family Play”
- Have Fun–Dare to have some humor and laugh with (not at) each other. Crack an appropriate joke and lighten the mood when trending toward a family drama.
By Scott Hammond
“Nothing happens until something is sold.”—Unknown
Sales as the backbone of the free market enterprise system. It is the core of commerce.
It can be the quintessential win win-win scenario. Everybody wins; you, your family, the customer, your company, your community, the nation, and the world at large. … If it is done correctly.
What is a sale? What is it we do? What is it we sell? And what is a sales job?
The definition of sales is the transference of a feeling. Persuasion requires empathy with others and listening to their needs, wants, and desires. Enthusiasm and empathy are key in selling.
Belief in yourself, your product, your customer and the selling process is vital to being a successful salesperson.
The fundamentals of selling include appearance.
First impressions really do count!
1. Clothing is important. You must wear decent/clean clothing.
2. How you look is also important in sales. Your hair, makeup, scent, and cleanliness all make a difference.
3. Your speech is also vital. Is it pleasant, kind, logical, and gracious?
4. Mannerisms and expressions. Demeanor is crucial. Greeting people correctly is vital.
5. Attitude. Your nature: Are you helpful, listening, empathetic, and truly caring?
6. Ask and listen. You must be able to ask great questions. Then really listen to the answers.
The selling sequence goes something like this:
it is sequential… it has an opening, body, and close.
The opening has to do with asking questions and general conversation.
Ask a good question: probe for dissatisfactions and for problems for you to present solutions to.
Qualifying, a prospect has to do with looking for buying signals, and probing for buying objections.
The next step in the sequence would be solving the objections.
Can you solve an objection with your product features, advantages, and benefits?
The close of the sale is vital. You must always ask for the order and get approval to go forward.
Old vs. New School
The old school method of selling as much to do with being selfish, money based, steered by the salesperson, and isn’t always effective. It is blatantly one-sided and disingenuous.
It is telling versus selling. It is usually salesperson driven and doesn’t always have the customer’s best interests in mind. The consultant of sales model is new school, and we will talk about that now.
Relationship driven sales has more to do with the customer needs, wants, and motivation.
A sales consultant is able to customize for specific customer needs.
1. It all starts with the customer needs analysis. These are questions designed to really get into the nuts and bolts of a client’s needs and desires. Done in an informal style, the CNA is discovery based in discerns needs, trends, wants, desires and offers solutions and opportunities to it both customer and sales person.
It helps you create tailored solutions for customer’s needs.
2. Creating solutions from your customer questionnaire. The survey looks for weaknesses and offers strengths.
It can help you highlight your core competencies. You can propose concrete plans, ideas, and solutions.
You can propose out-of-the-box, customized, tailored solutions, ideas, and compelling offers to your client.
3. Compelling offers. Compelling offers are not always dollar-based.
After you gather your data you can now process, and create a customized proposal.
You’re now ready to propose your ideas to your client and ask for their agreement.
Compelling offers are unique, individualized, and tailored to the client. They’re like having a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s.
4. Closing the sale.
If the above is done correctly, closing the sale becomes natural, no pressure exercise.
It’s easy to ask for the sale because of it flows from an assumed culmination of the aforementioned process.
The sale is assumed. Therefore the closing is low-key, and a natural end to the exercise.
The benefits of the consultant of sales style.
The style offers everyone a partnership approach.
Customer’s tell you their needs, and you present solutions in a relaxed, nonthreatening style that builds relationship quickly. The style focuses energy and resources and carries with it reasonable expectations of success.
In conclusion, the Old versus New schools of sales have fundamental differences and benefits and the new consultant style should certainly be part of one’s sales lexicon. Remember, “Nothing happens till there is a sale.”
We are all in sales in way….Therefore, be the best salesperson you can be.
Tools for Successful Dads: Listening
Communication has two parts-listening and expressing yourself.
Both must occur for communication to be successful. When you listen well to family members, you encourage them to talk about what’s most important to them. It’s easy to get careless about really listening.
Listening is at least as important as talking. Everyone needs someone to listen to them-someone who supports them and allows them to openly express feelings. Sometimes a person can find a solution or discover the sources of stress just by talking. Some of us process our feelings or find ways to clarify and express our thoughts by simply talking to others. Find out which of your family members process in this way and you will have a key to unlocking their “code”.
Parents sometimes feel obligated to lecture, present solutions, and give an analysis when listening. This is not good listening. A good listener should not feel obligated to advise, analyze, or have all the answers. Listening and responding with concern and understanding may be all the help needed.
The Art of Listening
The #1 human need is psychological survival, to be understood, affirmed, validated, and appreciated. In other words, we need to be heard and understood. It isn’t always easy because we live in a busy world, and many of us spend our days in a time crunch.
But the experts agree, when we take time to listen we improve relationships, promote an atmosphere of cooperation, and encourage creative thinking. We even save money and relational problems by avoiding costly errors caused by miscommunication.
Active listening does not come naturally.
Stephen Covey notes that when someone speaks, our initial reaction is to evaluate and scrutinize them which is the opposite of what we should do. We should focus on empathetic listening with the intent to understand and we must do this with the goal of helping.
There are 4 phases of empathetic listening, according to Covey…
1. First, is to mimic content, repeating exactly what the speaker has said
2. The Second stage is to rephrase the content to what was said in your own words
3. Third, you may reflect feelings or make a non-judgmental statement about the speaker’s emotions, empathizing with what or how he feels
4. The Fourth stage is a combination of the second and third stages, to rephrase content and reflect feelings
Sometimes we don’t want to hear what’s being said, choosing to be annoyed instead of understanding the other person’s view; this only damages a relationship. We’d make a better choice by moving forward, forgiving the offense and the offender, and resolving the problem.
Listening must come from the heart. If it is not sincere it will show regardless of what we say… nonverbal gestures will expose true feelings. When this happens, make it a point to remain focused on what the speaker is saying, actively participating in and practicing the stages of empathetic listening. The art of listening lies in understanding that to be an effective parent, leader, spouse, or any other role we must not only care about what others have to say, but also how they feel. Just remember your kids need your full attention, your patience, and a listening ear. Listen well when they speak. It will make you an even better parent than you already are