Dads are an Endangered Spicies…Community Comment on KINS

This is a local radio comment done by community members on KINS AM Talk Radio for the North Coast of California…the topic is Dads are In Trouble.kins-cc-1

Leaving a Living Legacy:Relationships

What will your best friends say at your funeral?

I came home from a road trip and my wife sat me down at the foot of our bed and said, “Your friend Dan Gunderson is dead”.

I couldn’t believe my ears, hoping it was a joke.

It was no joke.

This death caused me to think…

1. What is a life well lived?
2. What is greatness
3. What does a legacy look like?

I have three questions for you and myself…

1. Who has invested their time, life, and gifts in you?
2. What would your best friends say about you?
3. Who are you now investing your life skills and gifts in?

Someone who invested in me was my dad Bob… he was a real SOB (Sweet Old Bob).

He modeled and lived a life built on relationships.

You could pack all that he owned into his Chevrolet, but he left us incredible riches…

a great love and relationship with people, God, and nature.

1. People.

My father built relationships with everyone, whether in Alcoholics Anonymous, church, family, or just on the street. He built and fostered relationships with everyone he met.

I brought him into my sales office to share his sales genius.

We were all prepared with notepad and pen in hand…

All he said was, “If you’re in this for the money, you’re only about half paid”

That was it! I was a little annoyed and disappointed that he didn’t have more and refused to speak more on the sales craft.

It’s taken me 30 years, but now I realize the genius of my father’s statement… which is build relationships with people and you’ll be paid in incredible riches.

2. God.

My father was a World War II P 51 Mustang fighter pilot.

He killed many people in the South Pacific theater during the war.

Through sobriety that AA afforded him, he forgive himself and others, and connected to a relationship with God.

The Alcoholics Anonymous’ “higher power” had a name, face, and a real love, which my father translated to all he met.

He gave a grace and mercy and forgiveness to both himself and all those he knew.

3. Nature.

My dad loved his flowers, and he had a tremendous appreciation for nature, creation, and all things that grew.

He would stop us in a park or a golf course and say,” Scott come and smell this flower, check out this plant!”

I would dutifully give the cursory sniff, only to find that he was right.

There was beauty all around us if we were only willing to stop and smell the flowers.

He taught me the best things in life are not things at all… they are a love for people, for God, for nature.

How do we leave a legacy?

Are we object-oriented people or relationship-oriented people?

An object-oriented person treasures and values that which is temporal.

Examples would be possessions, travel, experience, wealth, pleasure, etc.

A relationship-oriented person, on the other hand, values that which is more eternal and immortal.

Examples would be… being compassionate, a good listener, showing kindness, saying I love you, being a hugger, and generally valuing all people.

Your three more questions for you…

1. What is most important to you?
2. If you could change anything about your life what would it be?
3. Why aren’t you doing that right now?

For me the answer is to invest in relationships and leave a piece of myself behind.

By investing in relationships, you will leave a richness in others, make a difference, and you will be changed.

One person who made a change in me was my deceased friend Dan Gunderson.

At his memorial, which was awesome and compelling and showed a life well lived, a little girl came forward to say a few words.

She bounced up front, happy and joyful, and began to speak of Dan’s love for her…then broke down and choked out, “Dan was my next-door daddy!!”

She wept openly as only a child can do.

Dan had taken the time to build a relationship with someone who was not core family, business, church, or other venue.

She was a little girl next door, and he reached out to her and made a difference.

My question to you, going forward, is just this…

To whom will you be a “next-door daddy“?

To whom will you reach out and make a difference in their lives …just because?

LEAVING A LIVING LEGACY SPEECH

What is your legacy, heritage, and what will they say when you are gone?legacy-final1

Father’s Day News Release

For Immediate Release

New Website Become a Better Father.com announces its podcast, blog, and online videos just in time for Father’s Day

McKinleyville, California. June 2, 2009. Scott Hammond, author, speaker, and parenting expert, releases, just in time for Father’s Day, exciting new resources for parents via his Web site: Become a Better Father.com. Visitors can expect a wealth of information that helps them employ Purpose-Driven Parenting to strengthen their family relationships and improve their lives.

As a father of nine (including two special needs children) and an extensive background in leadership training, coaching, consulting, writing, and public speaking, Hammond brings a unique and dynamic energy to helping others become better, more-effective fathers. Although Scott Hammond coaches fathers in particular, his offerings are not limited to just men. Anyone who parents can use his system to make great improvements in their familial relations and enjoy happier, healthier existences. Some of Mr. Hammond’s personal, encouragement-based coaching involves: effective goal setting, honest self evaluation, integrity-based communication, and credibility in word and action.

Are you an effective parent?

Hammond states, “Every parent feels a need to improve their parenting skills, to better reach and teach their children, and to leave a lasting, loving legacy so all family members can live healthier, richer, more productive lives. My parenting program helps fathers identify what they really want, to come forward and embrace their role in the family, and take the steps required for strong, lasting, and positive relationships”.

New Website Features, Just in Time for Father’s Day

The Become a Better Father.com Web site now features podcasting, You Tube videos of Scott in action, a Father’s Day writing contest, an award-winning Toastmasters speech titled, “The Upside of Down Syndrome”, Scott’s Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers materials, how to leave a healthy and strong legacy for our children, and much more.

As a trainer, coach, writer, speaker, consultant, and father, Scott Hammond delivers a comfortable, personal, and informal speaking style that motivates, inspires, and compels others toward positive personal and professional change. With a 30-year, award-winning background in radio, newsprint, and television media, Scott is uniquely qualified to offer a balanced perspective on family and career achievement.

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