Lessons From Gabriel…Outline of an Award Winning speech

The following is an outline of my award-winning Toastmasters International Speech Contest presentation.

It is an outline showing the process of what I work from as I develop a contest speech.

These are only highlight points and I color in the rest with the pertinent stories.

I Hope this might help someone developing a speech and or competing in a speaking contest…

Gabriel’s Story…THE UP SIDE OF DOWN SYNDROME

RING….and it all started with the ultrasound at Mad River Community Hospital. The ultrasound revealed the possibility of Down syndrome. Gabe had a 1 in 3 chance of having Down.

RING…That $1M question was ringing in our minds until Gabe’s birth…We knew little of Down or disabilities…

This is a true story of our beloved 7th son Gabriel. (TELL3)

Ring…My wife Joni SUPERWOMAN …

· 30 days in bed rest…Gave a birth…stress of her child’s state…Up all night..3am flight…up all the next day..

RING…Joni called…get a clue and get to Sacramento NOW! Mother and child were now recovering well.

The $1M question REMAINED did Gabe have Down?

Meeting with the doctor, she assured us that Gabe did have Down syndrome…Our marriage would be in Jeopardy and our family was in trouble… She was not very delicate… What nuggets to drop on a couple…WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT? THIS WAS MORE THAN I COULD BEAR!!

The proceeding questions, prayer, and walks around the UC Davis campus crying out to God will always be etched in my memory. How could he allow this to happen to us?

We simply did not have a road map for Gabe and wanted to be careful, successful, and help Gabe…WALKS,TEARS, PRAYER, THINKING, AND THEN…..RING…..I HAD IT!!
I decided to dedicate Gabriel (and our raising him) to the Lord, and trust that, although he might never be a football hero or a brain surgeon, his life would be both personally fulfilling and enriching to those around him. We were ready to move on and raise our son no matter!

We have learned to be honest with our feelings and with reality. Some of the lessons learned include:

1. There is no one-time fix. This is a long-term issue, challenge, battle, and journey requiring a long term mentality and approach.
2. A positive mental attitude and my positive confessions are not enough to get me through.
There is no “Bible bullet “or quick fix that is adequate to address my parental challenges.
3. Whereas Gabriel may have special needs of his intellect, there is none of the spirit. He is Really Special
4. Therapists are now part of our Extended Family forever

The lessons learned have to do with my deciding to have the right perspective, attitude, actions, and behaviors.
The decision to love unconditionally…

Gabe has taught us many lessons. RING…

1. To slow down. To love and live in the moment….be here now…TO ENJOY LIFE AND GABE.

2. To appreciate and celebrate accomplishments: Potty.

3. To be patient and to look outside the box and value all God has created.

I’m learning to choose to love freely regardless of the payback. I’m learning to value all people. I know that everyone has special needs. Some of us just hide them better!

My commitment as a father begins with loving my son and also to help my family to love Gabriel, to be patient with him, and to see past his challenges to his many positive attributes….and to love, accept, understand, and help Gabriel. He just needs a little extra help in life!!

Gabriel has the potential to teach us to look for the things in life that are truly important. May I be as good a student as he is a teacher. I’ll end with a story…

(Micah Story)

· 3 YEAR OLD…ALL BOY…HAVING A VERY BAD TIME

· NORMAL KID HAVING A TANTRUM

· PUBLIC HUMILIATION, ANNOYING, IRRITATING,

· GABE HAVING A SPECIAL NEEDS MOMENT….RING!!

____________________________________________

The 5 Languages of Love

“All we need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true!

We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us.

The key question for me and you is can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love. To those we do love?

Here the five languages of love…

1. Words of affirmation… this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time… this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts… showing others we care, and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service… To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally: to serve someone.
5. Physical touch… To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch: hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.

I, being a man ,really like number five and number one.  A word of encouragement and appropriate hug can fill my emotional tank and keep me going for long periods of time.

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most?

Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love…

Gabriel’s Story

Gabriel’s Story

This is a true story of our beloved son, Gabriel.

It all started with the ultrasound at Mad River Community Hospital. The ultrasound revealed the possibility of Down syndrome. Gabe had a 1 in 3 chance of having Down .
That question haunted us until Gabe’s birth.

My wife Joni was assigned a month’s bed rest and then gave birth to a mostly-healthy
baby boy. They were then flown overnight to UC Davis Medical Center in
Sacramento, where Gabriel was to have surgery to correct an intestinal blockage. After the surgery, both mother and son were fine!

The two dollar question was, did Gabriel have Down syndrome?
Meeting with the doctor, she assured us that he did have Down syndrome…and that we had less than one year left in our marriage. Her point was that parents of special needs kids have marital challenges. She was not very delicate. What a great nugget to drop on a couple in a vulnerable time!

The proceeding questions, heartbreak, prayer, and walks around the UC Davis campus crying out to God will always be etched in my memory.
I decided to dedicate Gabriel (and our raising him) to the Lord, and trust that, although he
would never be a football hero or a brain surgeon, his life would be both personally fulfilling and enriching to those around him. We were ready to move on and raise our son no matter!

The shame, embarrassment, and guilt that parents of children with special needs
children share is one of life’s dirty little secrets. Although not
rational, logical, or reasonable, these feelings are very tangible.

The feelings of sadness and gloom often come at unexpected and strange times.
Perception is reality. The pain is real.
The times of denial, reality hitting home, and the Costco gawkers staring at our Gabe, only serve to remind us at times of our frustration, pain, and anguish.

Every so often, the reality check of Gabriel’s special needs of
autism and Down syndrome come crashing in on us. Gabe’s episodes of dysfunction or meltdowns pull us out of our times of denial, where we have to admit, acknowledge, and again decide to go forward as parents.

We have learned to be honest with our feelings and with reality. We’ve chosen to redeem gain from all the pain as a couple and as a family to love regardless of “return on investment”.

· Some of the lessons learned include:
1. There is no one-time fix.
2. This is a long-term issue, challenge, battle, and journey requiring a long term mentality and approach.
3. A positive mental attitude and my positive confessions are not enough to get me through.
4. There is no “Bible bullet “or quick fix that is adequate to address my pain.
5. Whereas Gabriel may have retardation of his intellect, there is none of the spirit.
6. His worth has very little to do with his intellect or ability to contribute to society.
7. Societal worth is indeed a relativistic concept.
8. We’ve learned to give without expecting anything in return

The lessons learned have to do with my deciding to have the right perspective, attitude, actions, and behaviors.
The decision to love unconditionally is mine alone.
This unconditional love, stemming from the decision to love Gabriel, has transferred some of my pain into a long term perspective which is surprising, refreshing, and very interesting. He has taught us many lessons.

I’m learning to love freely regardless of the payback.
I’m learning to value all people.

I know that everyone has special needs.
Some of us just hide them better!

This unconditional love is a decision that begins in the seat of my will.
I must decide daily how and whom we will love.

My commitment as a father begins with loving my son and resourcing him
in every way to maximize his potential. I also need to maximize my
potential to love, accept, understand, and help Gabriel where
possible. My commitment is also to help my family to love Gabriel, to
be patient with him, and to see past his challenges to his many positive attributes.

My Mission Statement is this: “To personally and practically love, accept, and
go forward in raising my son to his fullest potential with God’s help”.
As I do this, I know that Gabriel has the potential to teach us to look for the things in life that are truly important. May I be as good a student as he is a teacher.