LEADERSHIP AND LEADING LIKE A LEADER
|“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time…”
Leaders press on and press in; they run counter to the culture of convenience or opinion.
Think about your personal leadership. They see life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then begin to live as though your life makes a real difference—because it does! Here are some ideas on how to show your leadership
1. To Impress or to Influence?
Would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life? Impressions are on the surface; therefore, they are often superficial. Influence, on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more time, patience, resources, and relationship.
2. Your Life’s Lessons.
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings? Can you safely share these with others who can benefit from your mistakes?
3. Your Disposition.
Is your disposition credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine? Do you act and speak with genuineness and transparency in the way you treat others? Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?
4. Leadership’s Purpose.
People are the priority. Are you able to connect with people and are you a relationship builder? Do you serve and meet needs? Do you truly love other people unconditionally? Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership?
5. Posture of a Legacy Leader.
Do you live in a mental posture of being open, teachable, and always learning? Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes? Do you walk and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living? Can you be a life-long learner or do you get stuck in old paradigms and ruts of thinking about life?
6. Passion and Legacy.
Passions define leadership. What are you passionate about? What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion? What would you do for free if it were possible? That is your passion.
7. Your Mission in life=People.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you? Then invest yourself in quality relationships with people. Be an example to follow. Serve others. Be communicative and relational with those in your life, world, and network. Press in and take the initiative.
Your personal narrative — in business and life
Scott Hammond/Business Sense
”Assumption is the mother of all (screw) ups.”
– a guy in that one movie
Everyone has a narrative in their life. It’s how we explain life, people, business, relationships and more. It’s the story we tell ourselves about others — their motivation and attitude — it’s our way of explaining how people, business and life operate.
The problem with our negative narratives is that we’re often dead wrong in the way we perceive things. This could not be truer than in business and the marketplace. In business, it is imperative we be accurate in our assessment of reality. Our company life and success depend on it.
The narratives we tell ourselves in life and business are often incorrect or incomplete. The problem is that we misjudge in our “narration” of others and call it “reality” and therefore often respond and react inappropriately. Bad decisions are made and even compounded. An example of this might be when a leader judges or “reads” another when they have absolutely no idea about the reality of the situation of that person. Leaders often make decisions based on wrong assumptions, bad data and poor interpretation of the facts. This phenomenon is problematic both in professional and personal life.
Relate this to customers, stake holders, competitors and the marketplace at large — we can end up completely misunderstanding an entire situation — possibly, even an entire relationship. The fundamental problem with our own “negative self-narration” is that it often leads to poor action, responses and results. This can lead to loss, bankruptcy, broken relationships — and not to mention business failure.
Negative business narration has three directions it can go:
Internal negative narrative — this type of “negative business narrative” tends toward our own self-justification and judgment of other’s internal drives. This is where we find it easy to presume we know the inner workings of other’s motivations, attitudes and how they think. Here, we find it easy to vilify others and justify ourselves. This is a narrative in which we can never see ourselves as wrong. When we vilify others, we often excuse ourselves. The phrase that is used is “excuse and accuse.” When we think like this, have no need for personal responsibility. Poor decisions are made when we presume to judge the motivation and intention of others. We can make all kinds of crazy happen in this state of thinking.
External negative narrative is where we perceive just the external circumstances and draw our conclusions. This is based on what we can perceive only externally. Here, mistakes in good judgment happen and the results are often disastrous. We have poor data with which we interpret and then make poor decisions. Garbage in, garbage out — more crazy decision making.
Assumption is the fuel of the negative narrative way of thinking. It is based primarily on guesswork. We all know what assumption means! When we assume that we know all about others and how their circumstances “seem,” we are on shaky ground.
This practice based in narrative negativity will result often in a life cut off and sequestered from others. This bitter “Lone Ranger Mentality” rules the day in many leaders, cultures and businesses. This kind of leadership is frightening. One thinks of Hitler or other autocratic leaders and shudders at the thought of this thinking drawn out to its logical and frightening conclusion.
So, what are the solutions? How can you and I prevent or redress becoming a “Debbie Downer”?
1. Have openness about life, people and relationships. Know that we have little or no control over others. We have incomplete information about others and no real way to know it all. What we really need is a new narration — the ability to be open and not get into the temptation to tell a story about others when we really don’t know all the facts. How can we possibly know the whole story about someone or the situation or how they got “there”? Be all about getting good, solid facts first!
2. Be a person of possibility. This starts with believing the human condition can improve, learn and evolve. We can learn to grow and actualize and enlighten personally, spiritually and mentally. This is not an easy task — but we actually can get better! We can learn, grow and leverage our strengths and weaknesses! Give others the benefit of the doubt. Stop the temptation to be the judge and jury. Trust some folks and their good intent. Take wise risks in believing in people. You’ll be surprised how trusting someone can really result in some positive outcomes and benefits. People thrive in a culture and atmosphere of genuine trust. Trust me!
3. Have trusted advisors. Stay close and value people in your life who are not afraid to push back when you begin your negative narration. Have business and personal friends who will challenge your dominant paradigm. Give someone the freedom to ask you hard questions and question your judgment and way of seeing things. This relationship will take time and trust.
4. Catch yourself. When you begin to mentally “go” negative — notice it and stop it. Get into the habit of stopping your own negativity and replace it with something more positive! Tell a new story or simply resist the tendency to tell any narrative at all. Be in the moment with people and be free to just experience them as they are. This truth can open the door to unknown and limitless possibility in life, business and community. Now go and re-tell your story today.
Scott Hammond works at Suddenlink Media and lives in McKinleyville with wife Joni and 5 of their 9 kids. His blog is www.BecomeaBetterFather.com and www.EveryDayDad.org and can be reached @ firstname.lastname@example.org.
Name: Micah Hammond
Years in Business: About 9
Family Info: Large
Hobbies: Construction of amazing contraptions from duct tape, cardboard, and other household items
Activities of Interest: Legos, Video Games, Mine Craft, anything with Video
Burning desire: To become King/Ruler/Emperor
Something no one knows about me: Has an amazing tender heart
Keys to Success: Total, absolute creativity—-Is able to move on after blowing up
Favorite Quote: “Jack Ass—Turd Sandwich”—-Learned from elder brother Jacob and delivered to older brother Aaron
7 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT BUSINESS FROM RON PILEGGI
I met Ron Pileggi in 1983 when he hired me as an ad sales rep for the Tri-City weekly paper in Eureka. He struck me as an entrepreneurial visionary with a plan and a mission to change the community in a positive way via business. As owner and the founding architect of the Tri-City weekly newspaper, Ron modeled good business acumen. He showed me and each of us how to conduct business in a process that really valued people first. Here are the seven lessons he taught me and still teaches me today.
- Rule number one– People come first. People, relationships, and friendships are everything in business and in life. As the owner/operator of the Tri City, he modeled real care for employees, clients, vendors, people in his industry and beyond. Client relationships and personal care of others was at the forefront of everything Ron practiced in his business.
- Rule number two –Client relationships are invaluable, as Ron demonstrated in his actions and policies. He said that good leadership is all about being a good servant. He taught that good service sets the stage for good customer loyalty and customer relations. If you serve your clients and take good care of them–they will take care of you as well. Customers vote in dollars and purchasing. People really do buy from people they know, like, and trust. One thing he told us is to go out and make friendships–then people will naturally buy from you.
- Rule number three– Turn off the lights. He often told me if you want to be a manager you must act like a manager and be a great steward of your business. He challenged me to personally take good care of the resources entrusted to me. Things such as time, energy, and other resources were looked at in a new light. This taught me that I need to take ownership of all I do at work.
- Rule number four—Speech is powerful. Ron often stated that the power of your words is everything. When words are spoken with clarity and sincerity, people are really affected by what we say. He stated this in the context of selling but also in real life. When we say what we mean, and mean what we say–we are often unstoppable in business and in life. He taught me about the power of words and I’ve never forgotten this lesson.
- Rule number five—Be involved in your community; participate readily and joyfully. Ron modeled good community involvement in CASA and in Rotary and more. He was always the guy to say “yes” to someone with a good cause. He may not have been involved directly, but he gave freely of his resources. His involvement with the community modeled what we all need to do—to be involved with causes that we resonate with and are most passionate about. Find your cause or your passion, and then plug in your gifts and experiences and resources. You will add to the greater good in your community and beyond.
- Rule number six–Think creatively and out-of-the-box at all times. This means not only with business and selling, but also in the ways that help real live people. Be willing to bend or even break the rules as necessary and as it makes sense to benefit the greater good. “Be entrepreneurial in your problem solving”, he would challenge. He taught how to think creatively with regard to business problem solving and helping customers meet their needs. He often showed us and told us that if we meet others’ needs, they will meet ours as well. If you help enough people get what they need, they will help you do the same.
- Rule number seven–Be generous and celebrate people. His (in) famous Christmas parties displayed a great generosity and were always “over the top” in showing his appreciation for his staff. Ron would gladly put on the most extravagant party–even for an outgoing employee. He didn’t know selfishness. My father, Bob Hammond, called him “a prince of a man” in that he was always very generous with his employees, clients, and his community. We all were the better for that–so was he.
In summary, Ron was human. He had his moments like each of us. The one thing he did was to model a whole business person. He cared for others and was profitable at the same time. He found that balance between profitability and success and taking care of other’s needs; Ron was able to do both in splendid fashion. He left an indelible mark and positive legacy on this community for over 30 years and still does to this day. It is a pleasure and a privilege to know a saint and a friend in the caliber of a Ron Pileggi. If you ever have the opportunity to work for an owner-operator-entrepreneur of this magnitude, you will agree that it is an awesome and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and experience. Thanks, Ronnie.
“80% of life is showing up.”
I was sitting with my friend at a recent networking meeting. As I was speaking to her, I realized how far she’s come in learning how to network, speak, and connect with people. She had developed her people skills and had really become rather professionally transformed. She had “bloomed” and come in to her own. She came from being a “wallflower” to become a gnarly networker–in a short period of time.
Let’s explore about how folks like you and I can become great networkers, speakers, marketers, and communicators. How do people go from good to great—often in short order? I have seen many people come into “bloom” and come to connect to their own experiences, gifts, and skills in their midlife. Many folks actually come into their “professional prime” rather late in midlife. Their talents were always there—just latent and waiting for the right conditions. It’s amazing to see others come into their own as they exercise their gifts, experiences, and talents to communicate freely with others. They basically find their “voice” and a new ability to joyfully participate in (professional and business) life. They bloom.
An example of this is my friend, referenced earlier, who was rather shy. Her background was not in business and she had very little business acumen. With application and time and work– she became a very proficient networker, speaker, and communicator. She had really “bloomed”. She applied herself and went out into the world and made herself learn to deal with, relate to, and even love people and become a proficient speaker, marketer, and “gnarly networker”. She is now rather fearless when it comes to groups, meetings, and even direct selling.
This “blooming” is much like akin to a flower; in their infancy they are small buds. Flowers, like folks, when they’re given their correct growing conditions, they bloom—often magnificently. When the rosebud is small and insignificant it has very little beauty and no scent. They’re actually thorny and not much fun to deal with. When it’s given the opportunity to develop, a rose in full bloom is the pinnacle of God’s creation. They’re lovely, smell great, and beautify any landscape or room. In like manner, when people encounter a midlife “bloom” –they often beautify the world with their gifts and “fragrance.” They may even smell and look better!
We actually have the ability to set the stage for our own professional and personal growth. We can set it up to bloom professionally and more brilliantly. With fertilization, light, correct nutrients and with the right location– a flower– or a person– can be magnificent in short order. Kind of like my friend–she put herself in a position to grow personally and saw the results rather quickly. In the same way, you and I can set the stage for growth. Know what you want. Show up. Be present. Help others. Serve. Be kind…
A lot of blooming is being exposed-being in the light. Being out there and exposed to the elements and to the nutrients needed to develop our “inner bloom.” We can actually grow quickly and more profoundly if we do it with intentionality. What is it take to be intentional? It takes a goal and focus and execution. It takes time management– it takes work and effort. Much of it is simply showing up and being relational. Zig Ziglar says it well—“You must circulate to percolate.”
Much of life is figuring out what it means to come into our own. How do you develop those in to your gifts and other skill sets that lie dormant in your life? Part of the answer lies in your DESIRE to grow and to expand and learn. Come out of your comfort zone. If you’re willing, then sometimes the execution of the necessary effort becomes rather easy. It’s often at that point that we can grow and come into our own and become of use to others.
This notion of being of use to others is the primary motivation. How can you and I be of use to our family, our community, and our world? The answer is coming to your own and finding the next level of “best”, going from good to great and then “blooming.” Be willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary and let nothing hold you back from becoming all you can be. Come into your own today. We have been waiting for you a long time. Be like that flower that comes out of the bud phase of their life into full fruition. This fruition gives life, color, smell, and sensory benefit all that experience it. Be that open flower today. Go out and set the stage then bloom in all your brilliance and glory!
Tools of a Gnarly Networker
|Dale Carnegie who wrote the book, “How to win friends and influence people” shared how he won a major sale by making himself memorable in a positive way. While sitting at dinner he started talking with a gentleman at his table. The man at his table spoke for four hours while only allowing Dale Carnegie the opportunity to speak for only about two minutes. After four hours the man stated to everyone, “Dale Carnegie is the best conversationalist I’ve ever met”. By being an active listener Dale Carnegie was not only portrayed as a great conversationalist, but the man instantly took a liking to Dale Carnegie. Since Dale was interested in him he was interested in Dale and later he provided Dale Carnegie with a great sales opportunity.By following the guidelines below, you’ll stand out in the crowd and make yourself more memorable to everyone you meet.
- Introduce yourself to others. No matter where you are act like you’re the host. Be the first to say hello.
- Make an extra effort to remember people’s names. As Dale Carnegie says, “the sweetest sound to a person is their name.”
- Use eye contact and smile upon meeting someone. The best way to build rapport is through eye contact.
- Make everyone feel important by paying full attention to him or her. Former President Clinton is a master of this. When you talk to him, he makes you feel like you are the only person in the room.
- Show others that you are enjoying your conversation with them. Don’t yawn, look bored or have a case of roving eyes.
- Show curiosity and interest in others.
- Listen, Listen, Listen. You not only become more likeable, but you really start to understand the persons wants, needs and desires.
- Be enthusiastic about things and life to others. People will gravitate to those upbeat, positive and cheerful people.
- Display your sense of humor. People remember humor six times longer than regular conversation.
- Be able to speak on a variety of subjects. Keep abreast of current events.
- Speak concisely. Be able to tell people what you do in a few short sentences.
- Speak their language. Talk in terms of their communication style. For example, if someone just wants the facts, don’t go into a lot of stories and anecdotes.
- Be tolerant of peoples beliefs if they are different from yours
- Invite people to join you for lunch, dinner and other social events
- Ask them for their opinions
- Don’t interrupt
- Have positive body language. Use the SOFTEN technique. S=smile, O=open posture, F=forward lean, T=stay out of their territory, E=eye contact, N=nod to show understanding.
- Be yourself. Enjoy the conversation
- Give them more than they expect. In other words, underpromise and overdeliver.
- Compliment others about what they are wearing, doing, or saying, but be sincere.
See Article link on “How to Avoid Connection Crushers”
“If you’re in business for just the money—you’re about half paid.”
R.L. Hammond (1921-2004)
My dad was an insurance agent in San Diego County in the 1970-80’s. He lived a life of serving others and his country in WWII. He taught and tutored me in much of what I know and do in business today.
The following practices/ideas of his are sure to ratchet up your business acumen:
- BE KIND TO EVERYONE—“It doesn’t cost anything to show kindness to others, Scott,” he would say. Be nice. Play nice. A smile and a small kindness go a long way.
- HAVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE/SHAKE HANDS AND GREET PEOPLE- People love to feel important (because they are!). An appropriate handshake and a greeting really affirm others and establishes rapport-quickly. Give the gift of appropriate touch.
- TELL GREAT STORIES—People live in stories…We all relate to a good tale and learn more from a compelling story than a lecture. Stories bring relevance to our topic and to our relationships.
- BE A GOOD LISTENER—This tells people you affirm them and value them. Empathy is a powerful relationship builder and establishes credibility, reliability, and shows you really care.
- BE AN ABOVE AVERAGE SPEAKER—Learn the art of public speaking. Good speakers know how and what to communicate and when. You can learn to speak well if you apply yourself to the disciplines and use the tools available to you. “Go to a Toastmaster Meeting”, he would tell me.
- HAVE AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR—Laugh sometimes. Have fun with people and stop the somberness that permeates some business cultures. Be appropriately playful with people who like to play and laugh, and cultivate the ability to really laugh at life.
- DEVELOP LIFELONG RELATIONSHIPS—Be the person who reaches out and calls and takes the initiative in your relationships. Be that person who spends the time and effort to get to know and serve others. Givers really do gain!
- GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT…FREELY—Be that person who can freely affirm, encourage, and genuinely build others up in a truly authentic fashion. Heck—tell those you love how you feel.
- BE A GIVER—Share your life, world, resources, experiences, gifts, and time as freely as you feel able and willing. Be that person who “walks the talk” in your actions and your words. Give to others expecting nothing in return—you will be blessed.
- BE SPECTACULAR ON THE PHONE—Learn to use the phone like no one else. Make purposeful and powerful calls that build rapport and relationship. Learn to network using the phone to make great calls and reach out to those you hope to build alliances with. Know how to relate to people via the phone on a regular basis.
10.5. BE YOU—Just be yourself not a second rate version of someone else. Trust yourself, be yourself and others will resonate with the “authentic you”. There is only one of YOU—be the best you possible and you will succeed in life, business, and awesome relationships!
R. L. Hammond
“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
“There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.
“Every time a football player goes to play his trade he’s got to play from the ground up — from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.
“Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization — an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win — to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.
“It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there — to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules — but to win.
“And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.
“I don’t say these things because I believe in the “brute” nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle — victorious.”
- V. Lombardi
1913 – 1970
To know is to love…
As you learn more about who your children are and how they have been designed–how they are wired…
Let them know and discover more about yourself as well. Let them in on YOU.
Disclosure and being real and open as a parent is key to developing a healthy relationship with your kids–for a lifetime.
Can you keep it “real”?…or do you tend to put on a “parenting self”… as you deal with your kids.
My twenty-something kids call this being “Legit”.
Children can smell a fake a mile away—do the know you, like you, and trust you?
Only then you can have a great relationship!
Have the goal of no one in your family being afraid of another family member.
Let patience, kindness, love and the willingness (courage) to trust and be trusted as you move forward as a family.
Authenticity is the key—can you be real and keep to the role of a great parent…Yup!
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
People often ask:” How do you get involved and know so many people locally?”
Short answer: relationships via networking and involvement.
How do you and I make the time in a world in short supply of it?
Show up. Get involved. Be present.
You can make the time and make people your priority. It does not take gobs of time- Just a commitment to involvement in something and some people you believe in–something you know makes a difference.
Some key points to really consider:
- Consider as you look into community involvement: What is a fit both in time and mission?
- What does this association bring to you and the community?
- What do YOU bring to the group?
- Can you support the vision, mission, and the goals of the association you are considering?
- What is your motivation? Give or take or both? Business or just friendship or both?
I have some suggestions for your networking consideration here in Humboldt County. It usually costs nothing to visit and each association will likely be delighted to meet and get to know you. This list is just my take—not exhaustive by any means.
- Local Chamber of Commerce (Google your local Chamber)
You can choose from most local towns: Eureka, Arcata, Fortuna, or McKinleyville. Each would love to meet and network with you at their monthly mixers. Great opportunity—size matters here. Your local Chamber is a great place to start your “networking quest.”
- B.N.I.—Business Networking International (bni.com)
This is your great opportunity to specifically network with others in business for the express purpose of getting and giving business referrals. There are 3 local chapters and they are all very friendly to new and potential visitor/members.
- Service Clubs—Rotary, Kiwanis’s, Soroptimist, etc… (Google and you will find your choice)
Local service clubs are a terrific way to get linked in to the local culture and make a positive difference in the community. Each has its own flavor, culture, and mission to the community. Again, visit around to find the best match for you in terms of meeting time, general fit and culture.
- “Mastermind” Groups—several in the County (Google your search—it really works!)
These groups vary, but the common thread is always some focus on mutual encouragement and support in attainment of your personal and business goals. Each has its own focus and area of expertise and all differ in their culture and leadership. This is a great network to get personal attention and 1 to 1 help. These usually cost more than other networks and for good reason.
- Clubs, Associations, Lodges, etc…(Google is your friend—use it)
Locate and find the involvement via local clubs of your choice. Elks, Odd Fellows, Grangers, Moose Lodges, are just a few you can choose from. Humboldt County has a lot of these.
- Toastmasters—3 chapters locally (toastmasters.org)
There are many associations designed for self-help—few do it as well as Toastmasters. Although, not a networking venue, Toastmasters helps folks ramp up their business acumen and thereby their networking skills. This is a personal favorite. You actually do meet many fascinating people along the way!
Want to network and get your local relationships ramped up? Show up. Get involved. Be present.
There is no better way than to plug into an appropriate local group, association, or club of choice. You will find not only will you grow, but you will be a key in influencing others to personal development.
The key is when/where/ and how you will choose to be involved. If you delay, we will all be lesser for your absence. Take action today—get on Google and make some calls and show up—You’ll be glad you did…so will your communities!
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