PARENTING TIP #5.–Create Some “Special Time”

Create some special time with just you and your child.

Just that intentional 1 to 1 time can yield big relationship dividends.

Name 1 thing you can commit to and JUST DO IT!

Burn that bridge and get that date with your kid into your mental or actual day-timer today!

Set up a standing date AND also be spontaneous.

Both in concert will benefit your relationship for years to come.

Remember this:  Quality Time comes from Quantity Time—-You must invest your precious time.

Name the activity then—movies, outings, sports, trips, food,  chores, projects and so much more…….

You don’t  HAVE to do this—You GET to…

It is not because she has earned this time, but because she needs this time with dad.

What do you say dad?

Parenting Tip #4.–Give Them Some Responsibility

Give your kid some custom fitted work.

What I mean is this: find some small responsibility that is perfect for your child.

Convey to him that he has been carefully selected for this special job.

Pick something that is age and ability appropriate and assign it—do it in writing or a chart if necessary.

There are 100′s of small responsibilities to choose from—pick a few.

Here are a few categories—Home, car, pets, yard, kitchen, food, garage, trash, dishes, laundry, and the list goes on….

This assignment will do 3 key things for the family.

1. Create a sense of value and worth in Junior–She will feel awesome as she is successful and told so.
2. You as a parent will have a lighter load–Now you can spend that quality time with her or some YOU Time.
3. There will develop a family culture of teamwork–You will all begin to understand and experience family team contribution paradigm.

Start today and be smart–”Let” them pick out some pre-arranged chores and take ownership.

Chart it and hold accountable. Keep it fun and encourage and reward with frequency.

You and they will be glad you did–You are the parent and the leader: make this happen today!

 

LEAVING YOUR BUSINESS LEGACY IN 5 EASY STEPS—PART #3.

 

 

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.

 

- Mary Kay Ash

 

What will they say at your memorial?  What would you want them to say?

 

THAT will be your legacy and it will be too late to start working on your life of significance at your memorial. You can begin TODAY to work toward a “Business and life legacy” and really make a positive difference!

 

How do you leave a legacy of positive business leadership? Who doesn’t want to leave a positive legacy? Leadership and legacy means being PROACTIVE…Take the lead and be the instigator!

 

Think about your personal leadership… See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then

 

TRUE STORY

I worked for Ron Pileggi for 20 years at the local Tri City Weekly and he exemplified a business leader who left an awesome business and life legacy. Ron always made life about RELATIONSHIPS. He modeled how to really care about and serve others with his staff, customers, community and in his industry.

Staff- Ron modeled “servant-leadership” in that he really helped his staff wherever possible. He showed a boss who was involved on a personal level and really loved his staff by showing it in his actions.

Customers—Ron went the extra mile to really serve and meet needs of his customers. He even would give it away if it meant helping a fellow businessperson get back on their marketing feet.

Community-Ron was an example of a guy trying to make a positive difference in our community. Whether it was serving in Rotary, helping various non-profits, or just showing up at events, Ron was present and a servant of all.

Industry—As an industry pioneer and leader, Ron shared expertise in the Free Paper Industry of America freely. Not only was his publication multiple award winning over years, he gladly shared his trade success secrets with fellow entrepreneurs.

Ron left an amazing legacy across the board—Staff, Customers, Community and Industry. He intentionally modeled ‘servant-leadership” in the roles he served.

 

 

Here are 5 Easy “Knows” to a Great Life and Business Legacy:

 

1. Know Legacy–Understand and Know what a Legacy is–Begin to study what a legacy is and how we are all leaving behind something” in our lives we will be remembered for. Study the lives of those who you know have made a positive difference in their world.

 

2. Know Thyself–Begin to look at your life and what you are leaving behind and what you are now known for. What is it that people remember about you and your life? Be honest! Ask safe people who will give it to you straight and without apology. It is about what others know about you vs. how you perceive yourself. You may be really surprised …

 

3. Know Thy Legacy–Pick and focus on one aspect of your life that yields positive results and influences others in a significant way–Find your message, media, and platform and go to work leaving behind something meaningful to others. Live your life of significance with intention.

 

4. Know Thy Audience–Who listens when you talk? Who picks up when you “throw down”? Who are your peeps and those who love you? These are the ones ripe for receiving your legacy message.

 

5. Know Thy Media–Begin to find and understand your most comfortable platform and medium for delivering your legacy message. This can be written, spoken, crafted, or lived out loud in some way. Most folks begin with some writing or speaking—the written and spoken word has tons of possibility when leaving your life of significance. Blogging, public speaking, or writing your book all have potential for great legacy tools. All legacy begins with being a good communicator—be one!

 

It is time for us to get busy and become more intentional about leaving behind a life of business legacy and living with and on purpose. Each of us has a limited number of days on Earth (Grandpa Tom says, “No one gets out of here alive!”) and we need to be purposeful in how we live.  Know legacy, yourself, your own legacy, your platform and your audience and you will begin to make a positive difference and leave an awesome legacy!

Life and business will have more meaning and so will you! Start living your legacy today—we’ll be glad you did.

“You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” by Dan Pearce

This is the all-time best article I have ever shared on this site.

I stumbled upon this beautifully written article by accident and was so moved from the opening that I
could not tear myself away.This is the all-time most hit blog on this site.

There are many very powerful and true statements.

As the Dad of nine awesome children, I think the words shared here are very important, for both dads and moms!

Sometimes we all have not so great days and life gets in the way of us doing the things we should.

I’m at a loss for words, but (in the best way I know how) I just wanted to let you know how much it has
blessed and challenged me. Children are a gift, children are ALL beautiful, and all children deserve to be children and
feel loved, and wanted and respected at all times. Read and enjoy and change for the best! Feel free to re-post, comment and share at will.

 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

“Dads. Stop breaking your children. Please.

I feel a need to write this post after what I witnessed at Costco yesterday. Forgive me for another post written in desperation and anger. Please read all the way to the end. I know it’s long, but this is something that needs to be said. It’s something that needs to be heard. It’s something that needs to be shared.

As Noah and I stood in line to make a return, I watched as a little boy (he couldn’t have been older than six) looked up at his dad and asked very timidly if they could buy some ice cream when they were done. The father glared him down, and through clenched teeth, growled at the boy to “leave him alone and be quiet”. The boy quickly cowered to the wall where he stood motionless and hurt for some time.A

The line slowly progressed and the child eventually shuffled back to his father as he quietly hummed a childish tune, seemingly having forgotten the anger his father had just shown. The father again turned and scolded the boy for making too much noise. The boy again shrunk back and cowered against the wall, wilted….”

 

Read the complete article by Dan Pearce here.

I also recommend you check out his new book, Real Dad Rules.

Feel free to add to the hundreds of comments below or shoot me an email today: sjhammond@suddenlink.net.

“

Being a Leader, Not a Boss

 

Many people, when put into an upper level management position or any other head honcho role, think that being bossy and aggressive is the best way to go. Yes, authority does come with the job and yes, they do have the right to tell people what to do. You remember those days when your parents told you to change clothes or clean up the dog poop. “Because I said so, that’s why.” It got old quick, but they would use their authoritative power in those situations.

People don’t like being told what to do. It is in our nature. We don’t like the “I said so” tone or the “do this, do that” tone. And when we disagree or argue with the commands given, it makes the bossing around worse and can lead to micro-managing and other uncomfortable situations. So, why doesn’t being bossy work? How do we change the stereotypical “authority-boss” role into more of a leadership and helpful role?

 

Commitment and Respect

You can use your new head role to tell people what to do and they will do it, but they will not care enough to give it their best. You must earn their respect and have them committed to you. When you are telling someone what to do, you are hoping that they will do it out of fear of what will happen if they don’t do it. That isn’t constructive or productive and more importantly will lead people the opposite way of being committed to you.

 

Change and Confidence

When you or another person is put in a leadership role, it is because of change. Someone up above wanted a change or the business needed something different to happen. Think about it: schools change the way they teach, factories change the way they manufacture, businesses change the way they reach out to customers.

Either way, people have a hard time accepting change. It means uncertainty, but can lead to better results. As a leader, it is your job to inspire those people around you. Make them believe they can change as well. Inspire them to realize they can change the way they think, the way they act, the way they file a report, etc. A boss will not inspire anyone to do this. But a leader will.

 

Teamwork

You are put into a management position because you have the ability to lead, be in charge, and have people working together. Teamwork is essential in becoming a leader.

The people around you are there for a reason. They do their job and they do it well. Why else would they be there? A boss will force people to do things they don’t want to do and work with people they don’t want to work with. A leader won’t. A leader will make people see they can all work together. Not any one person can run an organization these days. It requires multiple people with multiple views and contributions. A leader will get the best out the people they are in charge of.

 

If you think you are already a great boss, good for you. But, ask yourself, “Am I a leader or am I a boss?”

Do you give your team the resources to get their jobs done?

Do you recognize them for their hard work and achievements?

Do you have clear goals set and on track to be completed?

Does your team feel a connection?

People will give you honesty and hard work if you give them the same. They expect you to lead and take care of them and you expect them to work hard and work together. They need to trust you, trust themselves, and trust each other. Being bossy just isn’t going to cut it anymore.

 

 

Daniel is the leader and dad behind the dad-parenting blog www.daddydirection.com. Check out his blog for more parenting and dad specific techniques.

Mindful Leadership- 5 Keys to a Legacy

Leaving Your Legacy Part 2.

10 Tips for Family Life

10 Tips For Quality Family Life

Parents and their children are spending less time interacting with each other. As a result, many children are getting less personal love and attention than their parents did. American Demographics reported that parents today spend roughly 40 percent less time with their children than did parents a generation ago. To help families stay connected, below is a list of helpful family time tips. Keep in mind, quantity and quality time is important when choosing activities. So build memories around exciting events by keeping your family time creative and enjoyable. Print out the following tips as daily reminders.
1. Eat together & listen to each other. Most children today don’t know the meaning of a family dinnertime. Yet the communication and unity built during this setting is integral to a healthy family life. Sharing a meal together allows the opportunity to talk about each other’s lives. This is a time for parents to listen, as well as to give advice and encouragement. Attentive listening conveys a message that a person is really interested in another. It also imparts a sense of worth and helps develop trust. Therefore, listening is a critical link in successful parenting.
2. Read often. It’s important for parents to read to their children. The latest research indicates that reading to your children cultivates an interest for knowledge and stimulates language development. It also increases their attention spans and helps them become more curious. Look for books that your child would enjoy reading. After reading, ask questions about the content.
3. Do chores together. Part of what goes on in the home is the development of teamwork. Functional family life depends on the contribution of everyone. Assigning chores is the most productive way of teaching responsibility and accountability to your children. Doing chores with your child will help foster good communication skills.
4. Help with schoolwork. A great way to spend quality time with children and light a fire of learning is to help children with their schoolwork. A parent’s eagerness to help will cause a child to become more interested in school thus improving his or her grades. Regular trips to the library for school projects are an inexpensive and enjoyable way to spend time with children. Helping should begin with an understanding that children are responsible for homework. Parents are there to help their child get organized and to encourage them when they get stuck.
5. Start a hobby or project. Choose a fun activity that your child is interested in. Activities like cooking, crafts, fishing, or biking will make great hobbies that can open the door to exciting family time. Once a child learns a new recipe or is able to cast a lure accurately, let him or her take the lead with your supervision.
6. Play games. New technology has made video games more prevalent. As a result, many children are spending long hours in front of the TV playing computer programs. Parents should find creative ways to spark an interest in family-oriented contests such as board games or card games. This will give parents additional time to talk and nurture their relationship.
7. Plan a family outing. Sometimes getting out of the house is important. Hop in the family car and go for a drive. Prepare a picnic lunch and visit a local park. Take time to play catch or ride a bike. A stroll in the woods will help parents interact with their children. Also, a visit to the zoo or museum will spark a child’s enthusiasm and lead to lengthy discussions.
8. Encourage athletic activities. It is vital for children to exercise. Sports not only strengthen the body, but also build character and determination. Whether it’s a father pitching a baseball to a son or a mother and daughter nature walking, finding time for athletic events is important for a child’s emotional and physical development. This is a great opportunity for a family to interact.
9. Create a Family Time calendar. Since many parents have hectic schedules, time with children often becomes a low priority, whether intended or not. Post a calendar on the refrigerator and have parents and children pencil in special events. Knowing when you’re going to meet may also help you think of creative activities. Commit to keeping this schedule free from interruptions.
10. Pray together & attend a house of worship. Nothing is more special than taking a few minutes each day to pray with a child before bedtime. By explaining the purpose behind prayer, children will learn the importance of faith as the foundation for the family. Also, when parents go to religious services, they instill in their children a reverence for God. Churches can also offer invaluable support to families.

TIME MANAGEMENT

Hey, gotta minute?

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time. Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life. Show what you do with your time and you show what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on core strength. If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything. Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time. Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities. Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible. Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom. The “work your plan” part has to do with time management. Planning is great, but is useless without execution. Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

Benjamin Franklin wrote, “Do you value life? Then waste no time, for that is the stuff of which life is made.” The value of anything that you obtain or accomplish can be determined by how much of your time, or your life, that you spent to acquire it.

The amount of yourself that you use up in achieving the goals that are important to you is a critical factor to consider, even before you begin. Only by discovering your innate strengths and developing and exploiting them to their highest degree can you utilize yourself to get the greatest amount of satisfaction and enjoyment from everything you do.

Deciding what you want to do, what you can do well, and what can give you the highest rewards for your efforts is the starting point in getting the best out of yourself.

Show me how much you love your family by how much time you give them. Show me a dad who loves his family and I’ll show you a guy who plans and spends time with them.
Personal Time Management

The definition of Time management: is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

Are You Half Paid?

“If you’re in this for the money, you are only about half paid…”

Bob Hammond (1921-2004)
Motivational Speaker/Dad

My father, Bob Hammond, grew up in Iowa during the Great Depression. He was poor but received two years of college before being enlisted in the Army Air Corps during World War II.

He was an elite P-51 fighter pilot in the Asian Theater and was a decorated soldier.

He drank for 30+ years as he processed the experience. Consequently, our family grew up within the confines of alcoholism, divorce, and dysfunction. As I got older, and my father got sober, we forged a relationship for a lifetime. His support for me going to Humboldt State University, coupled with a mutual spiritual revival, made for a lifelong friendship until his death in 2004. My father always supported my educational goals and expressed confidence in me; he always believed in my choices and was available 24/7.

He was a people person and an expert salesman. He was relational in every way. People were his passion.

The lessons my father taught me had to do with relationships. People were priority.

For example, he came to work with me one day at the Tri City Weekly in Downtown Eureka to attend and contribute to a sales meeting. I was so proud and excited for my cohorts to hear the wisdom of this sage businessman and sales expert! He was my dad—coming to share his heart.

We gathered around, pen and paper in hand to hear from Bob Hammond, Salesman Extraordinaire. We were ready…

He sat down at our office at 6th and D St. and we expected at least 30-45 minute training about the secrets of great sales. No Dice. Not even close…

He leaned back in his chair, took a deep breath, and uttered words that were simple and profound and have taken me 15 years to really comprehend….He simply stated:

“IF YOU ARE IN SALES FOR THE MONEY, YOU ARE ONLY HALF PAID.”

That was it. No prelude, no commentary, no addenda—Just 13 words spoken with authenticity and belief.

I must admit, I was a bit annoyed and aghast he didn’t have a strong follow-up and more to add. He didn’t need to.

His point was just this: In business, as in life, people and relationships are key. They are the reason for why we do what we do in business and commerce and in life. The Free Market System is lacking, even meaningless, without good relationships, friendships, and the joy of living a life full of meaningful experiences with fellow human beings.

My dad was a people guy, a hugger who loved crossword puzzles, plants, music, people, and God most of all. His legacy of kindness, acceptance, thankfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness will always be with me. As an alcoholic, he always had a special place in his heart for those who struggled with alcoholism. He modeled non-judgment and kindness toward all. My father left an inherent sense of godliness, spiritual value, and a kindness that transcends most people you’ll ever meet. Although he was a warrior in World War II and killed many while flying a P51 Mustang, the rest of his life was spent building, not destroying.
He’ll always be remembered in our family as the “ice cream grandpa”, who always loved Humboldt County and insisted on multiple gallons of ice cream with each and every visit. Here’s to the legacy of a great guy, a great sales person… one of the Greatest Generation. May we approach our lives, careers, and business with a relational dimension and the kindness and care that all people want and need. Thanks, Dad, for modeling this respect and honor for people in your quiet, but profound lesson.

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