The 5 Languages of Love

“All we need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true!

We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us.

The key question for me and you is can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love. To those we do love?

Here the five languages of love…

1. Words of affirmation… this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time… this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts… showing others we care, and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service… To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally: to serve someone.
5. Physical touch… To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch: hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.

I, being a man ,really like number five and number one.  A word of encouragement and appropriate hug can fill my emotional tank and keep me going for long periods of time.

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most?

Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love…

5 Tools of Effective Families: Introduction

What is it that we as parents want to leave with her kids afterward gone?

What will be our legacy and heritage?

Like Curly in the movie “City Slickers” asks: “What is that 1 Thing? “-That thing that defines and motivates your life…?

What will they say about you after you are gone?…and we all will be someday!

Why do we do what we do when it comes to our parenting?

Why is Intentional Parenting so important, vital, and a key priority?

In the “5 Tools for Effective Families“we will explore how to nurture our kids by setting a foundation of best practices.

We will learn to incrementally introduce in practice, the habits and tools to parent intentionally.

Our goal should be to nurture our children and help them flourish to be the best they can be.

We will explore listening, good communication, genuine encouragement, choosing to give grace, and laying a foundation of faith in God that governs all of who we are and where we are going as a family.

It all begins with relationship building on a quality life foundation that results in emotional health and well-being of our families.

The end goal that we may be able to leave a legacy and heritage for our children and their children as well.

Intentional parenting that equips, sets the foundation, and truly leaves a legacy is the definition of true riches.

We’ll explore these as we uncover the 5 Tools for Effective Families…

5 Tools of Successful Families: #3. Encouragement

Mastering the Art of Encouragement.

It’s amazing how everyone needs encouragement, but is so reluctant to give it.

It costs so little to give, but can yield such high dividends. We cannot afford to overlook this key life habit.

The investment of encouragement can truly build up ourselves, our kids, our spouses, and our communities.

Encouragement needs to be…

1. Intentional. Offering encouragement takes extra effort and does not happen accidentally. We must be intentional if we are to be lifelong encouragers. This will mean having eyes to spot people doing things right…especially our children. To catch them doing something right and speak a the word of encouragement is a powerful tool.
2. Empathetic. Be especially attentive to the needs of your kids. What would it feel like if you were a child in the midst of embarrassment, disappointment, or discouragement? Think about how you would feel. Were you that child? Did someone encourage you? If so, great! If not, how can you make a difference by being an encouragement to both your kids and those around you in your world?
3. Specific. Don’t just say “good job”, but rather provide details and specifics; showing someone that you’re paying attention can be encouraging in and of itself. Offer suggestions and remember that constructive criticism, couched in a spirit of encouragement, can be inspiring as a complement.
4. Sincere. The word “sincere” is from the Greek meaning “without filler”. Encouragement must not be unmerited praise or flattery. Do not exaggerate a person’s competence, achievements, or potential. Being believable, authentic, transparent, and genuine will help you build trust.
5. Prompt. Respond with encouragement as soon as possible and preferably face-to-face. Making positive comments publicly compounds the positive affect of encouragement. Some people would rather see it in writing, so jot them a note or an e-mail… these can be public as well.
6. Thorough. Following up by writing a detailed letter with encouraging content can really uplift your children. E-mail is suitable for doing this as well, as kids are often more tech savvy than we. Putting words into writing not only reinforces oral comments, but also provides a tangible document. Your kids can save and refer to it at a later date for needed encouragement.
7. Creative. Use your imagination when giving feedback, encouragement, or support and recognition for your children’s achievements. Be intentionally out of the box as your imagination figures out new ways to give creative encouragement. Some people like verbal support, others prefer written, some people like small gifts,and for some just spending time with them is all the encouragement they require.

Encouragement is a powerful gift, which we need to receive and give on a daily basis. Let’s be more intentional in giving it to our kids, as it will help them with the tools they need to become better adjusted, more well rounded and high achieving adults. Be encouraged to be a life-long encourager!!