RELATIONAL LIFE, SALES, AND BEING

My Father Bob

“If you’re in this for the money, you are only about half paid…”

Bob Hammond (1921-2004)
Motivational Speaker/Dad

My father, Bob Hammond, grew up in Iowa during the Great Depression.
He was poor but received two years of college before being enlisted in the Army Air Corps during World War II.
He was an elite P-51 fighter pilot in the Asian Theater and was a decorated soldier.
He drank for 30+ years as he processed the experience. Consequently, our family grew up within the confines of alcoholism, divorce, and dysfunction.

As I got older, and my father got sober, we forged a relationship for a lifetime.
His support for me going to Humboldt State University, coupled with a mutual
spiritual revival, made for a lifelong friendship until his death in
2004. My father always supported my educational goals and expressed
confidence in me; he always believed in my choices and was available 24/7.
He was a people person and an expert salesman. He was relational in every way. People were his passion.

The lessons my father taught me had to do with relationships. People were priority.
For example, he came to work with me one day at the Tri City Weekly in Downtown Eureka to attend and contribute to a sales meeting. I was so proud and excited for my cohorts to hear the wisdom of this sage businessman and sales expert! He was my dad—coming to share his heart.

We gathered around, pen and paper in hand to hear from Bob Hammond, Sales Extraordinaire. We were ready…
He sat down at our office at 6th and D St. and we expected at least 30-45 minute training about the secrets of great sales. No Dice. No even close…

He sat cross-legged in his chair, took a deep breath, and uttered words that were simple and profound and have taken me 15 years to really comprehend….He simply stated:
“IF YOU ARE IN SALES FOR THE MONEY, YOU ARE ONLY HALF PAID.”
That was it. No prelude, no commentary, no addenda—Just 13 words spoken with authenticity and belief.
I must admit, I was a bit annoyed and aghast he didn’t have a strong follow-up and more to add. He didn’t need to.

His point was just this: In business, as in life, people and relationships are key. They are the reason for why we do what we do in business and commerce and in life. The Free Market System is lacking, even meaningless, without good relationships, friendships, and the joy of living a life full of meaningful experiences with fellow human beings.

My dad was a people guy, a hugger who loved crossword puzzles, plants, music, people, and God most of all.
His legacy of kindness, acceptance, thankfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness will always be with me.
As an alcoholic, he always had a special place in his heart for those who struggled with alcoholism. He modeled non-judgment and kindness toward all. My father left an inherent sense of godliness, spiritual value, and
a kindness that transcends most people you’ll ever meet. Although he
was a warrior in World War II and killed many while flying a P51
Mustang, the rest of his life was spent building, not destroying.
He’ll always be remembered in our family as the ice cream grandpa, who always loved Humboldt County and
insisted on multiple gallons of ice cream with each and every visit. Here’s to the legacy of a great guy, a great sales person… one of the Greatest Generation. May we approach our lives, careers, and business with a relational dimension and the kindness and care that all people want and need. Thanks dad for modeling this respect and honor for people in your quiet, but profound lesson.

Scott Hammond is the author of Every Day Dad: The Guide to Becoming a Better Father, a parenting expert, and the father of 9 children, who offers a unique point of view on fathering and intentional parenting. Scott is an award winning professional speaker and a recognized business consultant and leadership coach.
Scott motivates and inspires others toward positive, personal change and growth with his comfortable style, authenticity, and transparency. Using real-life stories, Scott shares how you can overcome life and parenting obstacles and become a better person.
Scott resides in McKinleyville, California with his wife of 27 years, Joni, and their kids. To connect with Scott, visit BecomeABetterFather.com

Every Day Dad–Testimonials…Buy it now at Amazon.com

Buy the book today at:

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

Here are just a few of the things readers have had to say about Every Day Dad:

We are a society in crisis and the root cause is parenting. This book will give you great tools to become a better parent and a better person at the same time.

Larry Winget, Television Personality and New York Times Bestselling Author, Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults

When I became a father, several decades ago, I wanted to be the best I could be. After all, that’s what I wanted to do in all the (work) jobs I had. There was no book on all that it takes. Now comes along Scott Hammond’s book with lessons that, with effort (yes, it requires EFFORT) puts fatherhood in excellent perspective for your success.

Jim Tunney, Ed.D
Author, Educator, Former NFL Referee

Scott Hammond’s book, Every Day Dad, is an encyclopedia for being a Dad. He understands the business of being a Dad and he communicates it extremely well. This book is a must for every Dad.

D.J.Young, www.Wisdom4Dads.com

It’s about time! What a wonderful concept and hats off to you, Scott Hammond, for bringing the extremely important, long overdue issue of fatherhood to the forefront. With shifting roles, two working parents, and changes in the world at warp-speed, we need fathers more than ever to help the women in the world with our shared bundles of joy. To enjoy the laughter, joys, tears, and milestones, there couldn’t be a more important role for the men of this day and age and for the children of tomorrow!

Karen Simmons, CEO, Founder, Autism Today

Click here to Read more comments and testimonials from readers.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR, SCOTT HAMMOND

Scott Hammond is the author of Every Day Dad: The Guide to Becoming a Better Father, a parenting expert, and the father of 9 children, who offers a unique point of view on fathering and intentional parenting. Scott is an award winning professional speaker and a recognized business consultant and leadership coach.

Scott motivates and inspires others toward positive, personal change and growth with his comfortable style, authenticity, and transparency. Using real-life stories, Scott shares how you can overcome life and parenting obstacles and become a better person.

Scott resides in McKinleyville, California with his wife of 27 years, Joni, and their kids. To connect with Scott, visit  BecomeABetterFather.com

The book is available NOW at…

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

TIME MANAGEMENT AND THE 80/20 RULE

Time management—

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time.  Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life.  Show me what you do with your time and I’ll show you what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on core strength.  If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything.  Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time.  Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities.  Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible.  Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom.  The “work your plan” part has to do with time management.  Planning is great, but is useless without execution.  Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

Time management can be leveraged through productivity systems and good planning.

The 80-20 rule is evidence of this…. You accomplish about 80% of your results from 20% of your work.  The key here is to find your personal “prime time” then leverage that time in the most productive way possible.  To schedule around your 20% “prime time”, where you are most productive and efficient is the key to leveraging time, productivity, and accomplishment. For most people their prime time is in the morning.  This is the time to get all of your core work accomplished.  This key time is to be secured and set aside as the valuable commodity it truly is. Prime work time should be scheduled on a daily basis and should have compelling content at its core. Planning, goal setting, reviewing, communicating, executing initiatives, key meetings, key document creation, and much more are all the key elements of utilizing your prime time window.

Procrastination and its opposite  workaholism are both dysfunction to avoid.  Our society allows for both to its detriment.  It takes discipline and self control to avoid the dysfunction of workaholism and over commitment and the sickness and the result they produce. The same can be said of procrastination—we are to avoid it like the plague. It all starts with analysis and admission and truly owning our own poor habits.

The idea here is to have a balanced life. This begins with healthy relationships and healthy personal spirit.  Living your life in balance and alignment starts with living your priorities.  The piece and congruity that results is compelling.  A life lived well, living your priorities, and being able to have fun productivity that energizes you is a compelling work style/lifestyle.

The Covey idea of sharpening your saw and resting so you can work more efficiently is the key.  A life lived in balance with family, work, community, friendships, and personal fulfillment is truly a productive life.

It all starts at time management, personal discipline, and self-control.  Just do it.

Time management is—

The definition of Time management is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

Learning time management will do the following:

1. Give a personal definition of time management, and how you can use it
2. Help you know the signs that you’re off-track
3. Help you know the signs that you are on the right track
4. Help you know what your focus should be on

You know you’re on the right track when—

1. Your customers, boss, family and peers praise your accomplishments.
2. You meet your sales, personal, or family goals and have a positive performance
3. You are often considered for additional responsibility and special projects.
4. You feel good about your work and family and are energized by them.

You know you’re off-track, when—

1. You’re working really hard, and little is being accomplished
2. You’re not meeting your sales, personal, business, or family goals
3. People around you complain about you
4. You’re the only one who seems to think you’re doing a great job.
5. You’re always putting out fires
6. You’re spending a lot of his time socializing and complaining

Eight most common time wasters—

1. Lack of planning
2. Lack of priorities
3. Over commitment
4. Management by crisis
5. Haste
6. Paperwork and reading e-mail
7. Routine tasks
8. The telephone

How to combat procrastination—

1. Accept that procrastination is common, and that you are not unique
2. Fearing failure is absolutely normal… we often procrastinate because we fear failure
3. If you find you tend to procrastinate in certain situations… face them head on
4. Never choose low priority work in front of high priority work
5. Control your socializing at work
6. Schedule start time as well, as the finished time for your work being planned
7. Adopt single handling thinking. Touch it wants.  You’ll pick up one job only and only put it down when it’s finished. Multitasking is a myth…

We should focus on activities that—

1. Contribute to your customer,  family, stakeholders success and satisfaction
2. Booster personal productivity and performance
3. Support your family or organization’s strategic vision and goals

Time management tips—

1. Know and use your calendar or Daytimer
2. Prioritize demands on your time
3. Keep your priority list in front of you
4. Keep checking your progress with time management.
5. Stockpile work or questions, and to schedule says its time work on them.  Only work on things in your scheduled to do so.
6. Seek support when you need it— delegate
7. Develop techniques that help you when in a unique situation
8. Pick a morning or an evening to work when no one is around and get organized.  Order creates less stress and helps focus
9. Spend a few minutes at the end of the day putting everything in its home base and getting ready for the next day.  Remember… trash it, act on it, refer it, or file it away.

10.  Keep yourself motivated.

More tips for time management—

Making a commitment that you’ll measure time more efficiently to be the best promise you ever make to yourself.  In the long run, you’ll be glad you did.  Here are some tips that may help to some move your way to a little more time efficient life.  You may even find that after you get the hang of it, you’ll have more free time!!

1. Manage your availability— in which coworkers know when you are available to help them and when you’re not.
2. Learn to prioritize—one of the most important things you can do in your search for more time. Prioritize your commitments.  If you belong to any organizations that are turned into obligations, just give up your membership.  There is not enough time to spend on doing things which aren’t that important to you.
3. Make all your calls in the morning—this is when people are most likely to be available.  Then, block off the rest of your day on interrupted work.
4. Schedule time every week to take care of your filing—take time every week to get your filing done and keep up the organizing and purging of your files.  This will go a long way to help you stay on top of your job responsibility.  The get and stay organized.
5. Create an activity log—keep a detailed personal activity log for several days to determine how you’re actually using your time.  See where you’re spending too much and not enough time.
6. Control your busywork—it’s not always easy to admit that sometimes we allow ourselves to get immersed in busywork.  Focus on the job at hand and don’t let meaningless tasks consume your precious time.
7. Create a system for yourself—no one knows your schedule better than you do.  Incorporate simple and effective systems in your life that help you do what must be done on a daily basis so that you actually can get things accomplished.  Get a routine and form positive habits.
8. Don’t bite off more than you can chew—break up big projects into manageable pieces.  Divide your projects and concentrate on one part at a time. Gradual progress and growth is the best practice.
9. Never forced the finishing of a project, if it can be helped—there’s no point in force yourself to finish a job when you’re not making any headway.  Switch to another project in the new challenge will refresh and renew your mind so that you can return to the original job.   You will then feel ready to complete it.

10.  Plan ahead—this tip will eliminate the procrastination and ensure higher productivity.  Estimate how long a job will take.  Then at about one third more time.  Then count the number of days back from the deadline, and set that as your defining starting point…Hot tip!

11.  .Learn what is urgent, versus what is important—there is a tremendous difference.  Too often we respond to the urgent and forfeit the necessary.  In other words, things that demand our media attention usurp what is necessary.  By contrast, important tasks might not require an instant response, but they necessitate important activities that will keep you on track in achieving your goals. Be wary of the Tyranny of the Urgent!

12.  Under promise and over deliver—this is a very old axiom, but nonetheless very true.  Never promised too much; you’re more likely to disappoint people.  Instead, with all things, under promise and over deliver.  People will be pleasantly surprised when you’re done more than originally planned.

Five ways to improve productivity—

There is so much happening and less and less time to handle of all these days. Learning how to increase your productivity could give you the edge you need to get it all done.  The idea of getting it all done is nebulous at best.

Do we ever truly get it all done?

To think that we could have it completely whipped is a fallacy and a dangerous life paradigm.  Could you get at least some of it done?  It is possible…. here are a few ways and strategies that can increase your productivity:

1. Schedule your time for work—be consistent.  Don’t do personal things in your schedule to work.  Make it to do list and prioritize your tasks.  A list is often more effective for those of us need to consult a reference or see it in writing.  When you’ve completed a task, cross off your list.  You get a real sense of completion in satisfaction as you see your list getting shorter and shorter.
2. Do the most difficult, time-consuming, least favorite jobs first— do the first things first.  Do the hardest task at hand when you have the most energy and motivation to tackle the project.  If you tackle the toughest job first, the rest of your tasks will seem that much easier.
3. Do not allow yourself to get interrupted by other people’s emergencies or drama—be able to say No.  Learn to have boundaries.  Learn to say no and a polite but firm way.  Be professional, kind and understanding, but also be ready to use the most famous boundary word of them all: NO.
4. Organize your files—set up the system right from the beginning.  Don’t reinvent the wheel.  Use a Daytimer for scheduling. Have a 31 day and 12 month filing system. You can have technology, but don’t let technology have you. Do not reinvent the wheel.  An ordered space will allow you to be less stressed.
   1. Organize your workspace—the better organized and efficient your workspace, the more efficient you will be in time management.  The time it takes you to search through out all your piles of paper or to remember where you put that file could be spent in working on new projects.  Put the things you use most on your desktop and always put them back in the same place when you’re done.  Keep a file organizer on your desk for current projects, so they are always at your finger tips.  Have clearly delineated places for everything.

My Dad Bob—Died 6 Years ago Valentines Day

I am realizing that the pain of missing a loved one transforms with time. I actually relish remembering my father Bob–one of the Greatest Generation who impacted my life with his love for God, people, and nature.

Valentines Day is becoming a joy in rememberance of the love, fellowship, and good times we enjoyed with my earthly father, Bob Hammond. He was the sweetest guy who really “Got it” when it came to thankfulness and gratitude. He was always and eternally grateful for all the “nice occasions” he was experiencing by the grace of God. He always gave God all the credit….faithful, thankful, joyful, and prayerful…in all things.
I still find myself wondering why i am reacting or acting as he would have in given circumstances. Help!—I am becoming my dad!….both good, bad, and the ugly. At the end of the day my hope is in the resurrection at the end of days when Jesus calls us home and we have eternity to get caught up. this hope is a driving force to live and love and to go forward—even in grief. This Great Gathering is more than beyond what I can conceive in my puny brain–so I am forced to trust, believe and have faith in the word and the Author, Perfecter, and Finisher of my faith.
See you soon dad and Abba Father God.
Scott

Leave a Legacy

Note to Alex

By Brian Parsley

November 3rd, 2009

A friend of mine wrote this amazing list for his young stepson.  It’s a set of principles he’s learned in his lifetime and wanted to pass along so his stepson would have the building blocks to living a positive, fulfilling life.  I thought it summed up how we should all live our lives.

1. Always Tell the Truth Even When it Hurts
Honesty is not a situational principle. In the end, it’s yourself you have to live with. Integrity is what makes you who you are. It’s what makes the pillow soft at night and the morning worth waking up for.

2. Give Love
Treat yourself and others with compassion, love and respect. Help a neighbor, help a stranger, and take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Remember, nothing is possible without first believing in love.

3. Treat People Fairly Fair
Be just, be compassionate and be equal. All situations are different but the manner in which you go about handling them should be the same. Don’t play favorites. If you show compassion, you will be able to treat others fairly, and they will respect you for it.

4. Never Do Harm to Anyone – Including Yourself
Don’t talk behind someone’s back, don’t cause physical harm and don’t let someone engage in any activity that you know will cause them or others harm. This has as much to do with action as intent. If you’re honest, loving and fair you won’t want to hurt others or let others be hurt.

5. Keep Your Promises
Your promise is your reputation. Others will judge you by your ability to follow through on your words.

6. Be a Positive Influence
Don’t just set out to make your life better. Help others live the best life they can too. Be a role model. Live the above principles and others will follow your lead.

7. Do the next right thing… always.
If you’re ever in doubt of any decision, do the next right thing.  Don’t worry about the “what if’s” or all the different ways a decision could take you – just do the right thing in that moment.  It will never fail you and there will never be regrets (especially in the long run).

Special thanks to Ben Vernon.

Disipline and Fathering Part 2.

“Boys want to know three things,” says 72-year-old Lew Powers, a 20-year veteran Boy Scout director. ‘One, who’s the boss? Two, what are the rules? And three, are you going to enforce them?’ To have a strong relationship with a boy, you have to be the boss, and a very kind one. Only set rules that you can enforce, and always enforce them. Then you have the basis for a relationship. From here comes respect and more importantly, trust.”

Being a good father means you discipline from a plan, not from emotion. Most fathers tend to shy away from traditional behavior systems, relying heavily on their ability to “discipline in the moment.” I have found in my practice that this is not a good way to go. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I find that it is one of our male weaknesses, such as failing to ask for directions when we know we are lost. In both cases, we need to use a map. And a behavioral map entails sitting down and plotting your course. What are your rules? Are you willing to enforce them in the same way every time? What will you do when you become aware that your child has left you severely frustrated? Will you yell? Will you say hurtful things that you’ll later apologize for? Make your map and chart your course.

Some brief notes on discipline:

Discipline strategies used by mother and father should be the same.

3 strikes you’re out
2 warnings
Consequences and rewards used by mother and father should be the same
Time out
Restriction

Raising your voice to get your child’s attention is not a problem as long as:

You are not out of control.
It doesn’t shame your child.
It doesn’t put your child in a position to care for you.
Raising your voice does have its risks. Your children will meet the bar that you set:
If you yell, they will yell.
If you shut down, they will shut down.
If you keep your poise, they will keep theirs.
DON’T HIT! This damages a child’s self-esteem and ability to bond and attach emotionally.

Happy 26th Birthday Jacob

Jacob Hammond–
I love many things about you…
Your hanging out with me during your time of growing up .
Your sense of humor.
Your spending time with me, doing chores, projects, and jobs around the house/property.
Your selfless generosity to your family and friends.
Your fierce friendship when sticking up for others.
Giving rides, money, pizza, and ice cream to those to whom it meant much.
Your kindness to strangers,business clients, and customers.
Your diligence at work, school, and home
Your brotherly nature and love for your family.
Your telling me about your day.
Your servant’s heart.

This was written a few years ago and applies even more today.

You are a God Guy who loves freely and we are infinitely proud and glad to have you as our son.

Happy 26th Birthday son!

Dad

The 3 Compelling “C’s” of Awesome Parenting

1. Compelling Communication–Speak and communicate, talk and listen, and keep open lines of communication with your family– make time to have focused attention, eye contact,  and appropriate physical touch as you connect with your kids.
2. Compelling Family Culture--Develop a culture of “togetherness” as you accept, honor, and respect each family member for their unique contributions.  Practice unconditional love as you learn to accept one another and take appropriate pride in your own family identity.
3. Compelling Relationships–Make quality of relationships the most important priority in your family life.  Make sure you manage, nurture, and cherish your family relationships as they really are the most important part of life.  Give them the time, resources, and effort they deserve.

4 challenges of compelling parenting

Learning– Creating a family culture of openness, honesty and a love for lifelong learning of compelling and often difficult life lessons. We are lifelong learners.

Really Living– Having a family environment which is engaging, fun, and in the moment. We are learning to stop and enjoy the right now.

Loving– Contributing to a family culture that chooses to love, forgive, give grace and mercy. Deciding and determining before hand that we will choose love first and foremost.

Lasting-- We are running the race with a big picture in mind. Failure is not an option nor is division, divorce, or bailing on each other. We are in this for the long haul– together.

Expert Parenting– 40 ways to really love your kids

The National Down Syndrome Congress Conference was an awesome experience and  I was honored to meet such great parents. Parents are the experts and  really know what works in the raising of  great kids. Here are 40 ways to enhance your parenting skills from some of the best parents on Earth…

We surveyed all the parents in attendance of my conference session entitled 5 Secrets of Effective Parents and found the following 40 parental best practices:

1. patience– this was #1. by 10 to one.
2. flexibility
3. sense of humor
4. having ans using good listening skills
5. being principled
6. being a creative
7. love and acceptance
8. creating less stress
9. prioritizing time
10. having a plan B.
11. having seeking mentors
12. understanding
13. encouragement
14. empathy
15. discipline
16. personal responsibility
17. personal self-care
18. being consistent
19. having a good support structure
20. being in the moment
21. acceptance
22. family activities
23. teaching
24. having boundaries
25. encouraging individuality
26. laugh or being silly
27. much prayer
28. being  understanding
29. being supportive
30. having a good attitude
31. having good communication
32. loving God
33. staying  calm
34. being aware
35. having adaptable planning
36. avoiding conflict
37. unconditional love
38. quality time
39. studying your children
40. having a strong marriage

We have much to learn…pick 3 and get started today.

What are your strengths/weaknesses above?

How will you leverage each today?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

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