Got to or………..Get to?

“Have to” vs. “Get to”

The key here is attitude. You don’t HAVE to do these things. But, you GET to do these things. Your motivation and attitude is everything so decide now in the seat of your will that this is a priority to you, and you will succeed at it! When will you get started on your Parenting Plan?

How will it look when you schedule your kids into your life and keep your appointments with them? What will it take for you to be the initiator and leader with the plan and in your family?

Our priorities need to become people and relationships. Learning to be here now is a key aspect to developing these key relationships. As we all know, time flies when you’re having fun.  Kids grow, people die, people move on and life changes very rapidly.  This is why slowing down and enjoying relationships and people and being in the moment is such a key piece to enjoyment and fulfillment in life.

To align yourself with high quality of life and living is to have fun, enjoyment, and to be a lifelong learner and contributor.  The results are compelling-satisfaction with our lives, relationships and legacy: joyful participation.

Do you have a plan in training yourself to relax and be in the moment? Do you have a vision to train yourself to enjoy the moments?  Are you able to suspend your inner Type A person and duct tape him in the corner?  Can you suspend activities to do that which gives us real-life?  Will you align with your priorities and live in the “now?”

The result will be no regrets in your old age or on your deathbed. Will you be able to look back and truly give thanks for life and the legacy left to others?  Can you die happy and fulfilled knowing you did your part and left a heritage that was compelling to other people? When it’s all said and done what is fathering success? What does it look like?

The answer lies in a word: Relationship.

Our relationships define our “success” in this world. So, how‘s the wife and kids?

Father Failure

What Causes “Father Failure”?

Dads have no real Strategic Parenting Plan with a schedule, measurement criteria, and accountability. They lack the resources to get a decent result from their fathering investment. They also suffer from poor follow-through or not enough follow-up in their efforts at parenting effectively.

Many dads are poorly organized, have poor planning, or poor time management, and they get caught up in the Tyranny of the Urgent vs. the truly necessary. Poor communication skills in speaking and listening combined with laziness, apathy, and denial all play a part in lackluster parenting.
A Plan Of Action
In other words, what we need, as dads, is a plan of action — a Strategic Parenting Plan, if you will — which will enable us to cope.
Dads require job clarity to know and function in our roles as well. Dads need fathering accountability to themselves, their families, the community, and God.

This really leads to the questions: Is it possible to cultivate a culture of celebration and learn how to have fun at home? Can we learn to recognize and strive for success with great vigor and consistency on the home front and still make it a fun and even joyful experience?

The answer is YES. By being dedicated to a consistent course of methodical action which aligns us with our values, we can bypass the parenting failure so prevalent in our culture.

3RD ANNUAL FATHER’S DAY WRITING CONTEST

“You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” by Dan Pearce

2010 Best of Zen Habits Post written by Leo Babauta.

Podcast with Eagles in Leadership (one of the best)

Every Day Dad: the Guide to Becoming a Better Father

http://eaglesinleadership.org/

Use Your Kids as a Gym by Leo Babauta (Zenhabits.net)

Minimalist fitness: use your kids as a gym

Post written by Leo Babauta.
I’m a big subscriber to using whatever you can find to work out: pullups on trees, throw big boulders, flip logs or big tires, jump over things, sprint up hills (see Minimalist Fitness, part 1 & part 2).
As a parent and a minimalist, I’d like to share my ultimate minimalist workout secret: my kids are my gym.
Fellow parents, if you’re not doing this yet, I can’t recommend it highly enough. How are they my gym? Instead of paying hundreds of dollars (even thousands) a year for a gym, I use my kids to get in shape.
How? Every way I can, but here’s a few:
I carry them on my shoulders as we walk around town.
We race each other to the corner, sprinting. Often up hills.
I do pushups with them on my back.
I lift them up in the air — it’s like lifting weights.
I’ll let them hang on me as I do chinups.
We climb and jump around in the playground.
We play with the soccer ball — getting lots of sprints in as we do.
We jump around in the ocean. A great workout.
We wrestle.
We challenge each other to do pistols (one-legged squats) or handstand pushups (what they sound like). Mostly we can’t, but it’s fun.
We do lunges while walking up a hill.
I carry them slung across my shoulders — a fireman’s carry — which is a great workout btw.
I’ll carry one on my back, piggy-back style, while racing another kid up a hill. Yes, I love hills.
Awesomer than a gym
So why is this so awesome?
1. We bond. Instead of spending time away from the kids at a gym, I spend time with them. And get a great workout in throughout the day. It’s two birds, one stone, saving time while helping me bond with my kids.
2. Work becomes play. It’s not exercise, it’s not a workout, it’s *play*. And that’s a whole different ballgame. Play is fun, it’s challenging, it’s easy, and yet it’s a great way to get in shape.
3. No cost. OK, kids aren’t cheap — but I have them anyway, so why not use them? I’m saving money and getting fit — that’s all kinds of win.
4. I’m being a role model. Kid learn most of all from what they see others doing, especially their parents. You can tell them things all day long, but unless they see you doing it, you’re not teaching them much. When we go to the gym, they don’t see us working out. When we workout as we play with them, they’re learning how to be healthy, and that is a gift that will last a lifetime.
5. It’s a lifestyle. I don’t work out at one time during the day, and then stay sedentary the rest of the day. It’s all throughout the day, every day, which means it’s woven into my life, not a small segment of my life. This is what a healthy lifestyle looks like.
6. It’s functional. When you do a bicep curl with a dumbbell, you’re making a motion that you never would do in real life — when have you ever lifted something heavy while keeping your upper arm fixed to your torso? Instead, when we lift heavy things, we bend at the knees, and use our legs, our torso, our shoulders, our arms — basically most of our body at once. When I lift my kids, that’s the same motion I’d use to lift anything else. Functional exercise is much more useful than isolated lifts.
Working out using my kids as equipment is the best thing I’ve done with my fitness. It’s fun, so I never want to stop. It’s functional, it’s cheap, and best of all, I get to do it with my kids. I love it.

The Big Parenting Question–Results.

Effective Legacy

The big parenting question remains: “What is the essence, core purpose, or bottom line of our parenting? What do we want to leave behind and instill our children, and why? At the end of our lives, what would we like to leave behind and pass on to our children? What heritage, legacy, or inheritance will you leave?
Answer these questions, and you’ll be pretty close to discovering your purpose here on earth. Really get in touch with the answers and begin to do them incrementally and you’ll find that you’re a change agent, a life giver, someone who really blesses those around them. Answer these questions and begin to live them, today.

Our goal should be to nurture our children and help them flourish: to be the best they can be. We will explore listening, good communication, genuine encouragement, choosing to give grace, and laying a foundation of faith in God that governs all of whom we are and where we are going as a family. It all begins with relationship building on a quality life foundation that results in emotional health and well-being of our families. The end goal is that we may be able to leave a legacy and heritage for our children and their children as well.

What will they say about you when you are gone…and we will be gone one day! More importantly, how will they live when you are gone? Our job as fathers becomes paramount and hugely important for our kids!!
Legacy incorporates the following…
• A foundation of faith in God
• Their hopes and dreams and visions
• Learning contentment and satisfaction
• Children learning to know who they are—developing an identity
• Our kids understanding their strengths and weaknesses
• To know they are loved
• To understand fundamental knowledge and wisdom
• To own and live out real values and ethics
• To live a life of thankfulness and appreciation
• To possess as their own a love for God, people, the earth, and all living things
• To be able to apply wisdom, knowledge, and understanding… and so much more.
Why are we leaving a legacy is as important as what we leave as a legacy. You must ask yourself why you’d like to be a parent of the highest quality. What is in it for you, your child, the world at large, and your children’s children? What is your answer?

Do you live your life to impress others, or influence them by the quiet sanity that marks how you model your life? What is the mission, vision, and purpose of your life? Are you living in now? When will you start if you’re not?

95.5 FM Interview on Every Day Dad Book June 2010

Just click to hear….

Scott Hammond Scott Hammond

New Book for Dad to Joyfully Engage in Family

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