The Big Parenting Question–Results.

Effective Legacy

The big parenting question remains: “What is the essence, core purpose, or bottom line of our parenting? What do we want to leave behind and instill our children, and why? At the end of our lives, what would we like to leave behind and pass on to our children? What heritage, legacy, or inheritance will you leave?
Answer these questions, and you’ll be pretty close to discovering your purpose here on earth. Really get in touch with the answers and begin to do them incrementally and you’ll find that you’re a change agent, a life giver, someone who really blesses those around them. Answer these questions and begin to live them, today.

Our goal should be to nurture our children and help them flourish: to be the best they can be. We will explore listening, good communication, genuine encouragement, choosing to give grace, and laying a foundation of faith in God that governs all of whom we are and where we are going as a family. It all begins with relationship building on a quality life foundation that results in emotional health and well-being of our families. The end goal is that we may be able to leave a legacy and heritage for our children and their children as well.

What will they say about you when you are gone…and we will be gone one day! More importantly, how will they live when you are gone? Our job as fathers becomes paramount and hugely important for our kids!!
Legacy incorporates the following…
• A foundation of faith in God
• Their hopes and dreams and visions
• Learning contentment and satisfaction
• Children learning to know who they are—developing an identity
• Our kids understanding their strengths and weaknesses
• To know they are loved
• To understand fundamental knowledge and wisdom
• To own and live out real values and ethics
• To live a life of thankfulness and appreciation
• To possess as their own a love for God, people, the earth, and all living things
• To be able to apply wisdom, knowledge, and understanding… and so much more.
Why are we leaving a legacy is as important as what we leave as a legacy. You must ask yourself why you’d like to be a parent of the highest quality. What is in it for you, your child, the world at large, and your children’s children? What is your answer?

Do you live your life to impress others, or influence them by the quiet sanity that marks how you model your life? What is the mission, vision, and purpose of your life? Are you living in now? When will you start if you’re not?

95.5 FM Interview on Every Day Dad Book June 2010

Just click to hear….

Scott Hammond Scott Hammond

New Book for Dad to Joyfully Engage in Family

Video for the Every Day Dad Book.

Available Now ….from Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Every-Day-Dad-Becoming-Better/dp/1450536646/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1275775476&sr=1-2

Every Day Dad–Testimonials…Buy it now at Amazon.com

Buy the book today at:

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

Here are just a few of the things readers have had to say about Every Day Dad:

We are a society in crisis and the root cause is parenting. This book will give you great tools to become a better parent and a better person at the same time.

Larry Winget, Television Personality and New York Times Bestselling Author, Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults

When I became a father, several decades ago, I wanted to be the best I could be. After all, that’s what I wanted to do in all the (work) jobs I had. There was no book on all that it takes. Now comes along Scott Hammond’s book with lessons that, with effort (yes, it requires EFFORT) puts fatherhood in excellent perspective for your success.

Jim Tunney, Ed.D
Author, Educator, Former NFL Referee

Scott Hammond’s book, Every Day Dad, is an encyclopedia for being a Dad. He understands the business of being a Dad and he communicates it extremely well. This book is a must for every Dad.

D.J.Young, www.Wisdom4Dads.com

It’s about time! What a wonderful concept and hats off to you, Scott Hammond, for bringing the extremely important, long overdue issue of fatherhood to the forefront. With shifting roles, two working parents, and changes in the world at warp-speed, we need fathers more than ever to help the women in the world with our shared bundles of joy. To enjoy the laughter, joys, tears, and milestones, there couldn’t be a more important role for the men of this day and age and for the children of tomorrow!

Karen Simmons, CEO, Founder, Autism Today

Click here to Read more comments and testimonials from readers.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR, SCOTT HAMMOND

Scott Hammond is the author of Every Day Dad: The Guide to Becoming a Better Father, a parenting expert, and the father of 9 children, who offers a unique point of view on fathering and intentional parenting. Scott is an award winning professional speaker and a recognized business consultant and leadership coach.

Scott motivates and inspires others toward positive, personal change and growth with his comfortable style, authenticity, and transparency. Using real-life stories, Scott shares how you can overcome life and parenting obstacles and become a better person.

Scott resides in McKinleyville, California with his wife of 27 years, Joni, and their kids. To connect with Scott, visit  BecomeABetterFather.com

The book is available NOW at…

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

New Book Release of “Every Day Dad:The Guide to Becoming a Better Father”

Now available from:

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

“Every Day Dad” is a 3 year work on helping equip dads to be proud of their families.
It offers all the tools to become a better father…really!
It takes the best of Fathering University and real business acumen and combines them into a quantum leap forward toward more intentional and effective fathering.
Written from the perspective of a “Regular Joe” dad (that’s me for sure), my book will help dads to discover both how to become more intentional in their fathering and to follow through on their goals. The Book has a Free Strategic Life Planner with every copy…the PSP is a road map to life and better relationships and comes FREE ($49.77 value) with the book which will be available on Amazon in Early June 2010.
You will see more and be able to sample before you buy. Hope to hear from you.
Best,
Scott Hammond
BecomeaBetterFather.com

Get your copy today from:

https://www.createspace.com/3426266

My Dad Bob—Died 6 Years ago Valentines Day

I am realizing that the pain of missing a loved one transforms with time. I actually relish remembering my father Bob–one of the Greatest Generation who impacted my life with his love for God, people, and nature.

Valentines Day is becoming a joy in rememberance of the love, fellowship, and good times we enjoyed with my earthly father, Bob Hammond. He was the sweetest guy who really “Got it” when it came to thankfulness and gratitude. He was always and eternally grateful for all the “nice occasions” he was experiencing by the grace of God. He always gave God all the credit….faithful, thankful, joyful, and prayerful…in all things.
I still find myself wondering why i am reacting or acting as he would have in given circumstances. Help!—I am becoming my dad!….both good, bad, and the ugly. At the end of the day my hope is in the resurrection at the end of days when Jesus calls us home and we have eternity to get caught up. this hope is a driving force to live and love and to go forward—even in grief. This Great Gathering is more than beyond what I can conceive in my puny brain–so I am forced to trust, believe and have faith in the word and the Author, Perfecter, and Finisher of my faith.
See you soon dad and Abba Father God.
Scott

Time and Fathering…Part 1.

Writer and Father David Swanson shares his thoughts on what it takes to be a better father. In part one of this four part series David focuses on time.

Before having children, we fantasized about what it would be like to be a father. For some, it was peanuts, popcorn, and baseball games. For others it was placing their chair and table in their upright positions and flying away to far-off places. But one thing’s for sure. The fantasy never entailed working long hours, stressing about finances or career obligations, or fighting with a wife over how to raise the kids.

As a father of three, I decided that I was not going to settle for being the absent father who accepted the reality that, “being a good father means being a provider. And being a good provider means limited time with my kids.” I wanted to be the father I fantasized about, and I was willing to do whatever it took. Not too long ago, I was forced to do just that.

About five years ago, I was working 50-60 hours a week in a busy practice as a child and family psychologist in Encino, CA. My practice grew and grew until I was working 6 days a week, most days until 9 at night. I wanted to cut back because I wanted to be at home with my children. But I was afraid that if I cut back on my hours, people would assume that my practice was full and they would stop referring me. This would mean potentially losing our home and my practice.

A very smart and kind pediatrician friend encouraged me to take the risk. “You need to be at home with your kids,” he advised me. “If you don’t have any available times for clients after school, parents will take their kids out of school to see you.” After hearing my oldest son complain of my absence, I became determined to take my friend’s advice and reduce my hours. I decided that I would leave the office by 6 pm and I would not work on weekends. This was an incredibly stressful time. But fortunately the advice my friend gave me was correct. People did bring their children in during school hours. We didn’t lose our home. To this day, I believe it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Sure, we had to take a step down in lifestyle, but I don’t think my kids care. I don’t know if they really even noticed.

Today, I coach their sports teams, we jump in the trampoline, we have Nerf gun wars at home (yes, in the house!), and we just got back from the Leo Carrillo Tide Pools where we hunted for starfish. I am the father in my fantasy. In my practice, I am often visited by fathers who wish they could be the father in their fantasy. These fathers often ask the question, “Where do I start?” When we evaluate their “father fantasy,” we usually come up with four core areas on which they choose to focus. I have laid out these four areas below.

Time

Tim Russert, former host of NBC’s Meet the Press and author of Wisdom of Our Fathers, said, “You can shower a child with presents or money, but what do they really mean, compared to the most valuable gift of all—your time? Vacations and special events are nice, but so often the best moments are the spontaneous ones. Every moment you spend with your child could be the one that really matters.”

The fact of the matter is that you are either a “present” father or a father who is “absent.” You cannot plan for life. You will never know when your child will utter his first word. You will never know when he will take his first steps. And you will never know when his first girlfriend will break up with him. Life happens and it is not subject to a plan. You are either there or you’re not. Planning vacations and special time are very important in moving closer to your family. Your child will always remember the Disneyland trips, the skiing vacations, and snorkeling in Hawaii. But will you be there when he is forced to deal with the pains of life?

Veteran’s Day 2009–A Tribute to My Father–Eulogy of a Friend

To my friend and brother Bob Hammond:

Proudly I call you my brother—-the lives we lived although different, were mirrored in so many ways that are paths were entwined forever…

Born of humble circumstance in Iowa, raised by saintly mother, forged by the Depression, in which doing without was commonplace, you were a gifted athlete, literally fighting for an education, knowledge, and some wisdom.

Through the great conflict (World War II), where the wild blue yonder,, became close up deadly and dirty. You and I lived, suffered losses, made mistakes, played thousands of card games, played hundreds of rounds of golf, fought, drink to excess, and selfishly survived…

Well, it was about time. When we made the long-awaited changes… and with those changes came sobriety, self-respect and most importantly love of family, those of goodwill, coupled with a great love for Christ.

He takes you into his arms. Go lovingly, Compadre. So long I will miss you: keep the light on for me…

Geno Scott

Arkansas, USA

Leadership and 5 Secrets of Legacy

Leadership means many things to many people…I think it means being proactive… being the first:

• Taking the initiative
• Setting the standard
• Managing
• Planning
• Resourcing
• Identifying vision, goals and priorities
• A good leader takes responsibility and says” the buck stops here”.
• Leaders show the way and model by example what they’re trying to accomplish.
• Leaders press on and press in, and they run counter to the culture of convenience… they refuse to get stuck in the “bright and shiny objects”, diversions, and side eddies of our culture.
• Leaders strain and strive with intentionality and energy to build relationships and create a legacy and heritage and their families…. I do much of this is simply by taking the initiative, being intentional and planning by writing and accomplishing compelling goals that are relationship based…

Leaving a Legacy of Leadership

Who does not want to leave a positive legacy!
We want to leave a heritage to my family, friends, church and community at large.

Think about your personal leadership, through which you leave us a legacy to those behind you. See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture.

What shapes you?  Intentions?  Motives?  Opinions?  Thoughts?  Responses?  What shapes your words, attitudes, deeds, reactions, and more?

So what is leadership, do you have it?
How do you get it?
What are you leaving behind now?
What do you want to leave behind?
What will change in order for you to do the above?
How do you get there from here?

To impress or to influence…
would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life?  Impressions are on the surface, therefore, are often superficial.
Influence on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more ability.
Influence necessitates communication with people and the cessation of self absorption.

Your life’s lessons…
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings?

The above serve to shape your life’s message. That life’s message consists of a spiritual component, your life’s lessons, your life’s passions, and indeed, your life’s mission. Most of what we call failure can be transformed to tangible lessons we can share with those we have relationships with; pain transformed to purpose and passion.

Every leader has 5 components that define him or her.

1. Let’s talk about your POSITION…
Are you in a position to be credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine?
Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?

2.  Every leader must have his PURPOSE.
People are the priority.
Are you able to connect with people are you a relationship builder?
Do you serve and meet needs?
Do you truly love other people?
Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership legacy?

3. The third element of leadership is your POSTURE.
Do you live in a posture of being open, teachable, and always learning?  Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes?  You walk in the Spirit and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living?

4. One last element is your PASSION.
Passions define leadership.
What are you passionate about?  Are you a spokesperson for your passions?  What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion?

5. Your Mission in life.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you?
Then have quality relationships with people.  Be an example to follow.  Serve others.

Leaving a legacy of leadership also means the facing and overcoming of adversity.  How you deal with adversity defines you. Are you bitter, or better?
You will need faith to face your challenges. Then you can come through, as someone who can truly serve others and help them in their time of need.

A  LEADER–

• A leader knows where she is going, why she is going, and how to get there
• A leader knows no discouragement, presents no alibi
• A leader knows how to lead without being dictatorial; true leaders are humble
• A leader leads for the good of the most concerned, and not for personal gratification of his or her own ideas
• A leader looks for the best in those he or she serves
• A leader marches with a group, and interprets correctly the signs of the pathway that leads to success
• A leader has his or her head in the clouds, but his or her feet on the ground
• A true leader considers leadership as an opportunity for service
• A leader is one who has not sought the high places, but who’s been drafted into service because of his or her ability and willingness to serve
• A leader listens, communicates, and cares
• A leader has courageous conversations
• A leader manages time, money, resources and is a good steward
• A leader washes dishes, cleans the bathrooms, and does what’s needed
• A leader does not look for, nor require, kudos

In conclusion, we all need to–
Find our voice and use it toward our life’s passions, purpose, posture, and position to leave a legacy of leadership. Find your voice and your gifts, and use your voice and your gifts. Lastly, help others find their voice and their gifts, so they too may leave a lasting legacy of leadership and a heritage of love.

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