My Dad Bob—Died 6 Years ago Valentines Day

I am realizing that the pain of missing a loved one transforms with time. I actually relish remembering my father Bob–one of the Greatest Generation who impacted my life with his love for God, people, and nature.

Valentines Day is becoming a joy in rememberance of the love, fellowship, and good times we enjoyed with my earthly father, Bob Hammond. He was the sweetest guy who really “Got it” when it came to thankfulness and gratitude. He was always and eternally grateful for all the “nice occasions” he was experiencing by the grace of God. He always gave God all the credit….faithful, thankful, joyful, and prayerful…in all things.
I still find myself wondering why i am reacting or acting as he would have in given circumstances. Help!—I am becoming my dad!….both good, bad, and the ugly. At the end of the day my hope is in the resurrection at the end of days when Jesus calls us home and we have eternity to get caught up. this hope is a driving force to live and love and to go forward—even in grief. This Great Gathering is more than beyond what I can conceive in my puny brain–so I am forced to trust, believe and have faith in the word and the Author, Perfecter, and Finisher of my faith.
See you soon dad and Abba Father God.
Scott

Time and Fathering…Part 1.

Writer and Father David Swanson shares his thoughts on what it takes to be a better father. In part one of this four part series David focuses on time.

Before having children, we fantasized about what it would be like to be a father. For some, it was peanuts, popcorn, and baseball games. For others it was placing their chair and table in their upright positions and flying away to far-off places. But one thing’s for sure. The fantasy never entailed working long hours, stressing about finances or career obligations, or fighting with a wife over how to raise the kids.

As a father of three, I decided that I was not going to settle for being the absent father who accepted the reality that, “being a good father means being a provider. And being a good provider means limited time with my kids.” I wanted to be the father I fantasized about, and I was willing to do whatever it took. Not too long ago, I was forced to do just that.

About five years ago, I was working 50-60 hours a week in a busy practice as a child and family psychologist in Encino, CA. My practice grew and grew until I was working 6 days a week, most days until 9 at night. I wanted to cut back because I wanted to be at home with my children. But I was afraid that if I cut back on my hours, people would assume that my practice was full and they would stop referring me. This would mean potentially losing our home and my practice.

A very smart and kind pediatrician friend encouraged me to take the risk. “You need to be at home with your kids,” he advised me. “If you don’t have any available times for clients after school, parents will take their kids out of school to see you.” After hearing my oldest son complain of my absence, I became determined to take my friend’s advice and reduce my hours. I decided that I would leave the office by 6 pm and I would not work on weekends. This was an incredibly stressful time. But fortunately the advice my friend gave me was correct. People did bring their children in during school hours. We didn’t lose our home. To this day, I believe it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Sure, we had to take a step down in lifestyle, but I don’t think my kids care. I don’t know if they really even noticed.

Today, I coach their sports teams, we jump in the trampoline, we have Nerf gun wars at home (yes, in the house!), and we just got back from the Leo Carrillo Tide Pools where we hunted for starfish. I am the father in my fantasy. In my practice, I am often visited by fathers who wish they could be the father in their fantasy. These fathers often ask the question, “Where do I start?” When we evaluate their “father fantasy,” we usually come up with four core areas on which they choose to focus. I have laid out these four areas below.

Time

Tim Russert, former host of NBC’s Meet the Press and author of Wisdom of Our Fathers, said, “You can shower a child with presents or money, but what do they really mean, compared to the most valuable gift of all—your time? Vacations and special events are nice, but so often the best moments are the spontaneous ones. Every moment you spend with your child could be the one that really matters.”

The fact of the matter is that you are either a “present” father or a father who is “absent.” You cannot plan for life. You will never know when your child will utter his first word. You will never know when he will take his first steps. And you will never know when his first girlfriend will break up with him. Life happens and it is not subject to a plan. You are either there or you’re not. Planning vacations and special time are very important in moving closer to your family. Your child will always remember the Disneyland trips, the skiing vacations, and snorkeling in Hawaii. But will you be there when he is forced to deal with the pains of life?

Veteran’s Day 2009–A Tribute to My Father–Eulogy of a Friend

To my friend and brother Bob Hammond:

Proudly I call you my brother—-the lives we lived although different, were mirrored in so many ways that are paths were entwined forever…

Born of humble circumstance in Iowa, raised by saintly mother, forged by the Depression, in which doing without was commonplace, you were a gifted athlete, literally fighting for an education, knowledge, and some wisdom.

Through the great conflict (World War II), where the wild blue yonder,, became close up deadly and dirty. You and I lived, suffered losses, made mistakes, played thousands of card games, played hundreds of rounds of golf, fought, drink to excess, and selfishly survived…

Well, it was about time. When we made the long-awaited changes… and with those changes came sobriety, self-respect and most importantly love of family, those of goodwill, coupled with a great love for Christ.

He takes you into his arms. Go lovingly, Compadre. So long I will miss you: keep the light on for me…

Geno Scott

Arkansas, USA

Leadership and 5 Secrets of Legacy

Leadership means many things to many people…I think it means being proactive… being the first:

• Taking the initiative
• Setting the standard
• Managing
• Planning
• Resourcing
• Identifying vision, goals and priorities
• A good leader takes responsibility and says” the buck stops here”.
• Leaders show the way and model by example what they’re trying to accomplish.
• Leaders press on and press in, and they run counter to the culture of convenience… they refuse to get stuck in the “bright and shiny objects”, diversions, and side eddies of our culture.
• Leaders strain and strive with intentionality and energy to build relationships and create a legacy and heritage and their families…. I do much of this is simply by taking the initiative, being intentional and planning by writing and accomplishing compelling goals that are relationship based…

Leaving a Legacy of Leadership

Who does not want to leave a positive legacy!
We want to leave a heritage to my family, friends, church and community at large.

Think about your personal leadership, through which you leave us a legacy to those behind you. See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture.

What shapes you?  Intentions?  Motives?  Opinions?  Thoughts?  Responses?  What shapes your words, attitudes, deeds, reactions, and more?

So what is leadership, do you have it?
How do you get it?
What are you leaving behind now?
What do you want to leave behind?
What will change in order for you to do the above?
How do you get there from here?

To impress or to influence…
would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life?  Impressions are on the surface, therefore, are often superficial.
Influence on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more ability.
Influence necessitates communication with people and the cessation of self absorption.

Your life’s lessons…
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings?

The above serve to shape your life’s message. That life’s message consists of a spiritual component, your life’s lessons, your life’s passions, and indeed, your life’s mission. Most of what we call failure can be transformed to tangible lessons we can share with those we have relationships with; pain transformed to purpose and passion.

Every leader has 5 components that define him or her.

1. Let’s talk about your POSITION…
Are you in a position to be credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine?
Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?

2.  Every leader must have his PURPOSE.
People are the priority.
Are you able to connect with people are you a relationship builder?
Do you serve and meet needs?
Do you truly love other people?
Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership legacy?

3. The third element of leadership is your POSTURE.
Do you live in a posture of being open, teachable, and always learning?  Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes?  You walk in the Spirit and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living?

4. One last element is your PASSION.
Passions define leadership.
What are you passionate about?  Are you a spokesperson for your passions?  What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion?

5. Your Mission in life.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you?
Then have quality relationships with people.  Be an example to follow.  Serve others.

Leaving a legacy of leadership also means the facing and overcoming of adversity.  How you deal with adversity defines you. Are you bitter, or better?
You will need faith to face your challenges. Then you can come through, as someone who can truly serve others and help them in their time of need.

A  LEADER–

• A leader knows where she is going, why she is going, and how to get there
• A leader knows no discouragement, presents no alibi
• A leader knows how to lead without being dictatorial; true leaders are humble
• A leader leads for the good of the most concerned, and not for personal gratification of his or her own ideas
• A leader looks for the best in those he or she serves
• A leader marches with a group, and interprets correctly the signs of the pathway that leads to success
• A leader has his or her head in the clouds, but his or her feet on the ground
• A true leader considers leadership as an opportunity for service
• A leader is one who has not sought the high places, but who’s been drafted into service because of his or her ability and willingness to serve
• A leader listens, communicates, and cares
• A leader has courageous conversations
• A leader manages time, money, resources and is a good steward
• A leader washes dishes, cleans the bathrooms, and does what’s needed
• A leader does not look for, nor require, kudos

In conclusion, we all need to–
Find our voice and use it toward our life’s passions, purpose, posture, and position to leave a legacy of leadership. Find your voice and your gifts, and use your voice and your gifts. Lastly, help others find their voice and their gifts, so they too may leave a lasting legacy of leadership and a heritage of love.

4 challenges of compelling parenting

1. Learning– Creating a family culture of openness, honesty and a love for lifelong learning of compelling and often difficult life lessons. We are lifelong learners.
2. Really Living– Having a family environment which is engaging, fun, and in the moment. We are learning to stop and enjoy the right now.
3. Loving– Contributing to a family culture that chooses to love, forgive, give grace and mercy. Deciding and determining before hand that we will choose love first and foremost.
4. Lasting-- We are running the race with a big picture in mind. Failure is not an option nor is division, divorce, or bailing on each other. We are in this for the long haul– together.

Expert Parenting– 40 ways to really love your kids

The National Down Syndrome Congress Conference was an awesome experience and  I was honored to meet such great parents. Parents are the experts and  really know what works in the raising of  great kids. Here are 40 ways to enhance your parenting skills from some of the best parents on Earth…

We surveyed all the parents in attendance of my conference session entitled 5 Secrets of Effective Parents and found the following 40 parental best practices:

1. patience– this was #1. by 10 to one.
2. flexibility
3. sense of humor
4. having ans using good listening skills
5. being principled
6. being a creative
7. love and acceptance
8. creating less stress
9. prioritizing time
10. having a plan B.
11. having seeking mentors
12. understanding
13. encouragement
14. empathy
15. discipline
16. personal responsibility
17. personal self-care
18. being consistent
19. having a good support structure
20. being in the moment
21. acceptance
22. family activities
23. teaching
24. having boundaries
25. encouraging individuality
26. laugh or being silly
27. much prayer
28. being  understanding
29. being supportive
30. having a good attitude
31. having good communication
32. loving God
33. staying  calm
34. being aware
35. having adaptable planning
36. avoiding conflict
37. unconditional love
38. quality time
39. studying your children
40. having a strong marriage

We have much to learn…pick 3 and get started today.

What are your strengths/weaknesses above?

How will you leverage each today?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

Scott Hammond Introduction

10 KEYS TO RAISING EXTRA UNIQUE KIDS

Extra Mile Parenting; 10 Keys To Raising Extra-Unique Kids

Extra-mile parents are those who accept their child’s condition, are aware of their family’s emotional needs, and seek to build a positive attitude in their family culture. They have learned to grieve openly, celebrate freely, respect the feelings of each family member, and to get the focus off themselves. These parents are heroes we have much to learn from. Here are ten keys to help you become that extra-mile parent.

1. Patience. Everything comes more slowly to EU kids. Milestones are fewer and far apart, but this makes achievements all the sweeter.
2. Acknowledge grief. Revisiting grief is normal and natural, especially at birthdays, special occasions, or other milestone events in your child’s life. Allow yourself room to grieve and talk, and then move on.
3. It’s not about you. Remember it’s really about accepting your child and being OK with who they are. Don’t make it about yourself; remember your goal is to resource, facilitate, and love your child first.
4. Support. Find and link up with like-minded parents who are willing to be real, genuine, and transparent about their lives, struggles, and victories.
5. Slow down. Be here now and focus on enjoying your EU child. Get into their world by being present and in the moment, and stepping off of your own life roller coaster, even if only for a few moments.
6. Let your child teach you. Learn from their simplicity, spontaneity, and the joy with which they approach life. Learn from their perspective how to enjoy simple things again.
7. Making comparisons. Avoid the dangerous pitfall of comparing your child to any others. She is unique, perfect, and valuable, so enjoy her as God made her.
8. Unrealistic expectations. When your expectations are beyond what is realistic, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Be aware and honest with your unspoken and even subconscious, unrealistic expectations of your family life.
9. Vicarious identity. Remember, it’s not about you. When you feel embarrassment, shame, or perceived disapproval of your child, it’s not about you or your reputation, or your value as a person. Consider this…is it possible the problem lays in others, or even yourself? Ultimately, this is about being OK with who you are as a family and accepting and even celebrating it.
10. Be Yourself. Focus on being real, transparent, and authentic as you walk through life and your EU experience. Keep a good sense of humor and be willing to really laugh and have a perspective which allows you to have fun, enjoy life, and be yourself in the context of your family challenges.

Scott’s New and Improved Narrative Bio

SCOTT HAMMOND—SCOTTPRESENTS.COM

1680 Prairie Hawke Court, McKinleyville, CA 95519 (707) 839-0774

http://www.BecomeaBetterFather.com, http://www.ScottPresents.com

Personal Philosophy and Work Focus

As founder and president of Scott Presents, a personal and organizational

development consulting firm, Scott pursues a whole person approach in sharing information

on communication skills, whole marketing, compelling relationship development, and easy –to- use productivity skill-sets. Scott’s inspirational approach promotes collaborative learning in an informal, compelling style and atmosphere.

The key elements of Scott’s personal philosophy are four- fold:

· Integration, blending the mind (thought), body (action) and soul (purpose).

· Empowerment, acknowledging and supporting the passion and gifts within us.

· Growth, providing the tools to co-create learning and growth opportunities.

· Relationship Development through compelling communication, marketing, and nurturing business and personal relationships.

At the core of Scott’s consulting, speaking and training firm is his passion for “digging deeper.”

Scott draws on easy to understand productivity training, speaking skills, parental expertise with 9 kids, and 30 years of real world marketing to provide tools for greater personal effectiveness, connection to purpose, and achievement of goals. His services focus on engaging all parts of the organization in clarifying shared vision and values, and in implementing those in everyday work and personal life.

Work Focus

Key consulting services include:

(1) building partnerships through easy to learn sales and marketing strategies

(2) organizational change and growth

(3) strategic visioning, goal setting and mission development

(4) personal branding through effective networking skills

(5) marketing and advertising consultation

(6) workshop, training and meeting design & facilitation

(7) collaborative problem solving

(8) coaching

These key services focus on helping public and private sector organizations, businesses, and

communities build strong leaders, teams and relationships among their partners. Partners learn to share responsibility for the successful outcome of the partnership.

Scott lives with his family in McKinleyville, California, and continues his lifelong quest to Be Here Now, enjoy rich relationships, and to make a positive difference by leaving a compelling legacy.

He has completed his book Mid-Life Renaissance and continues to pursue raising a family who carry on his positive legacy of care, compassion, and making a difference and to enjoy each day—One Day at A Time…

2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest Winner Announced!!

THIS IS OUR 2009 WINNER—A TRIBUTE TO SINGLE PARENTS EVERYWHERE!—Good job Caitlin!

Caitlin Y

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