PARENTING TIP #5.–Create Some “Special Time”

Create some special time with just you and your child.

Just that intentional 1 to 1 time can yield big relationship dividends.

Name 1 thing you can commit to and JUST DO IT!

Burn that bridge and get that date with your kid into your mental or actual day-timer today!

Set up a standing date AND also be spontaneous.

Both in concert will benefit your relationship for years to come.

Remember this:  Quality Time comes from Quantity Time—-You must invest your precious time.

Name the activity then—movies, outings, sports, trips, food,  chores, projects and so much more…….

You don’t  HAVE to do this—You GET to…

It is not because she has earned this time, but because she needs this time with dad.

What do you say dad?

Parenting Tip #4.–Give Them Some Responsibility

Give your kid some custom fitted work.

What I mean is this: find some small responsibility that is perfect for your child.

Convey to him that he has been carefully selected for this special job.

Pick something that is age and ability appropriate and assign it—do it in writing or a chart if necessary.

There are 100′s of small responsibilities to choose from—pick a few.

Here are a few categories—Home, car, pets, yard, kitchen, food, garage, trash, dishes, laundry, and the list goes on….

This assignment will do 3 key things for the family.

1. Create a sense of value and worth in Junior–She will feel awesome as she is successful and told so.
2. You as a parent will have a lighter load–Now you can spend that quality time with her or some YOU Time.
3. There will develop a family culture of teamwork–You will all begin to understand and experience family team contribution paradigm.

Start today and be smart–”Let” them pick out some pre-arranged chores and take ownership.

Chart it and hold accountable. Keep it fun and encourage and reward with frequency.

You and they will be glad you did–You are the parent and the leader: make this happen today!

 

Parenting Tip #3.—Demonstrate your Love and Show Affection

As parents, be demonstrative of your love for each other.

Show appropriate physical affection.  Do this parent to parent and parent to child as well.

I am reminded if I refuse to hug my teen girls, there are PLENTY of young men ready to fulfill my duty…

Our kids need regular, appropriate physical touch—so does our spouse. So do I!

The kids need to see in each parent  nurturing, gentle love and , when needed, the firm-yet-respectful love.

This “tough love” can manifest in a “courageous conversation” (not lecture dad!) or in simply doing and saying the right thing–always in a spirit of love.

Show your love today—Be a “hugger”—Surprise them by being that person who is warm, loving, and not afraid to show it.

BTW: say “I love you”—regularly, and mean it.

 

PARENTING TIP #2.–STICK TOGETHER!!

As parents, we need to support each other’s decisions as we train our kids and raise them into adulthood. 

If you are not willing to support each other’s parenting decisions morally or philosophically, do not implement the parent action until you can.

This is the essence of Parental Unity. think, act, and be as one as you parent!

This will likely require meetings between mom and dad to make proposals, listen, adjust, refine, compromise, and convince.

Change will be the outcome—change in approach, attitude, and perhaps outcome in the way you parent.

The key here is this: Are you willing to lay aside SOME of your past parenting paradigms–you know the stuff your parents did.

be committed to arriving at a place you both can accept and support as a team. otherwise , you’ll be divide and such division will be sensed by the kids.

It is in their and your interest to reach agreement and become unified as you parent together for a lifetime those you love and are in a parenting role with.

Hot Tip: Hold hands next time you have a “courageous conversation” with your child. First off–it will blow their mind.

Then, they will see you are in unity and may even listen attentively as you both speak from the strength of your new found unity.

Go Team!

 

Parenting Tip #1—For the Difficult Child

Parenting Tip number one.

Show and speak united as parents –Be United and mutual in your communication to your children.

As often as possible, address your child together, preferably holding hands as you do.

When addressing your children as an individual parent, always represent the “parent team ” and speak accordingly.

Speak and act as one unit—be in common on how you handle issues, communication, and problems with your challenging child.

We tried this with our son Micah—We held hands and spoke our truth for that moment.

It really blew his mind!  He couldn’t believe it—he sat there quiet and watching and listening!

Try it today—Make it real and “legit”… Can’t fake unity.

You’ll be surprised

at your results and response!!

LEAVING YOUR BUSINESS LEGACY IN 5 EASY STEPS—PART #3.

 

 

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.

 

- Mary Kay Ash

 

What will they say at your memorial?  What would you want them to say?

 

THAT will be your legacy and it will be too late to start working on your life of significance at your memorial. You can begin TODAY to work toward a “Business and life legacy” and really make a positive difference!

 

How do you leave a legacy of positive business leadership? Who doesn’t want to leave a positive legacy? Leadership and legacy means being PROACTIVE…Take the lead and be the instigator!

 

Think about your personal leadership… See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then

 

TRUE STORY

I worked for Ron Pileggi for 20 years at the local Tri City Weekly and he exemplified a business leader who left an awesome business and life legacy. Ron always made life about RELATIONSHIPS. He modeled how to really care about and serve others with his staff, customers, community and in his industry.

Staff- Ron modeled “servant-leadership” in that he really helped his staff wherever possible. He showed a boss who was involved on a personal level and really loved his staff by showing it in his actions.

Customers—Ron went the extra mile to really serve and meet needs of his customers. He even would give it away if it meant helping a fellow businessperson get back on their marketing feet.

Community-Ron was an example of a guy trying to make a positive difference in our community. Whether it was serving in Rotary, helping various non-profits, or just showing up at events, Ron was present and a servant of all.

Industry—As an industry pioneer and leader, Ron shared expertise in the Free Paper Industry of America freely. Not only was his publication multiple award winning over years, he gladly shared his trade success secrets with fellow entrepreneurs.

Ron left an amazing legacy across the board—Staff, Customers, Community and Industry. He intentionally modeled ‘servant-leadership” in the roles he served.

 

 

Here are 5 Easy “Knows” to a Great Life and Business Legacy:

 

1. Know Legacy–Understand and Know what a Legacy is–Begin to study what a legacy is and how we are all leaving behind something” in our lives we will be remembered for. Study the lives of those who you know have made a positive difference in their world.

 

2. Know Thyself–Begin to look at your life and what you are leaving behind and what you are now known for. What is it that people remember about you and your life? Be honest! Ask safe people who will give it to you straight and without apology. It is about what others know about you vs. how you perceive yourself. You may be really surprised …

 

3. Know Thy Legacy–Pick and focus on one aspect of your life that yields positive results and influences others in a significant way–Find your message, media, and platform and go to work leaving behind something meaningful to others. Live your life of significance with intention.

 

4. Know Thy Audience–Who listens when you talk? Who picks up when you “throw down”? Who are your peeps and those who love you? These are the ones ripe for receiving your legacy message.

 

5. Know Thy Media–Begin to find and understand your most comfortable platform and medium for delivering your legacy message. This can be written, spoken, crafted, or lived out loud in some way. Most folks begin with some writing or speaking—the written and spoken word has tons of possibility when leaving your life of significance. Blogging, public speaking, or writing your book all have potential for great legacy tools. All legacy begins with being a good communicator—be one!

 

It is time for us to get busy and become more intentional about leaving behind a life of business legacy and living with and on purpose. Each of us has a limited number of days on Earth (Grandpa Tom says, “No one gets out of here alive!”) and we need to be purposeful in how we live.  Know legacy, yourself, your own legacy, your platform and your audience and you will begin to make a positive difference and leave an awesome legacy!

Life and business will have more meaning and so will you! Start living your legacy today—we’ll be glad you did.

“You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” by Dan Pearce

This is the all-time best article I have ever shared on this site.

I stumbled upon this beautifully written article by accident and was so moved from the opening that I
could not tear myself away.This is the all-time most hit blog on this site.

There are many very powerful and true statements.

As the Dad of nine awesome children, I think the words shared here are very important, for both dads and moms!

Sometimes we all have not so great days and life gets in the way of us doing the things we should.

I’m at a loss for words, but (in the best way I know how) I just wanted to let you know how much it has
blessed and challenged me. Children are a gift, children are ALL beautiful, and all children deserve to be children and
feel loved, and wanted and respected at all times. Read and enjoy and change for the best! Feel free to re-post, comment and share at will.

 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

“Dads. Stop breaking your children. Please.

I feel a need to write this post after what I witnessed at Costco yesterday. Forgive me for another post written in desperation and anger. Please read all the way to the end. I know it’s long, but this is something that needs to be said. It’s something that needs to be heard. It’s something that needs to be shared.

As Noah and I stood in line to make a return, I watched as a little boy (he couldn’t have been older than six) looked up at his dad and asked very timidly if they could buy some ice cream when they were done. The father glared him down, and through clenched teeth, growled at the boy to “leave him alone and be quiet”. The boy quickly cowered to the wall where he stood motionless and hurt for some time.A

The line slowly progressed and the child eventually shuffled back to his father as he quietly hummed a childish tune, seemingly having forgotten the anger his father had just shown. The father again turned and scolded the boy for making too much noise. The boy again shrunk back and cowered against the wall, wilted….”

 

Read the complete article by Dan Pearce here.

I also recommend you check out his new book, Real Dad Rules.

Feel free to add to the hundreds of comments below or shoot me an email today: sjhammond@suddenlink.net.

“

In Remember-ence of Robert Lewis Hammond 1921-2004—Birthday 1/29/21—Would’ve been 91 Years young today.

My father, Bob Hammond, grew up in Iowa during the Depression.
He was poor but got to do two years of college before being enlisted in the Army Air Corps during World War II.
Consequently, our family grew up within the confines of alcoholism and dysfunction.
As I got older, and my father got sober, we forged a relationship for a lifetime.
His
support for me, going to Humboldt State, coupled with a mutual
spiritual revival, made for a lifelong friendship until his death in
2004.
My father always supported my educational goals and expressed
confidence in me; he always believed in my choices and was available
24/7.
The lessons my father taught me had to do with relationships.
My dad was a people guy, a hugger who loved crossword puzzles, plants, music, people, and God most of all.
His legacy of kindness, acceptance, thankfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness will always be with me.
As an alcoholic, he always had a special place in his heart for those who struggled with alcoholism.
He was careful to always forgive, and never had an evil word, even when one might be earned.
My father left an inherent sense of godliness, spiritual value, and
a kindness that transcends most people you’ll ever meet. Although he
was a warrior in World War II and killed many while flying a P51
Mustang,the rest of his life was spent building, not destroying. He’ll
always be remembered in our family as the ice cream grandpa, who always
insisted on multiple gallons of ice cream with each and every visit.
Here’s to the legacy of a great guy, one of the greatest generation.

Honoring Single Parents—Wanda from Iowa

My mother, Wanda Hammond, was born in a small town in Iowa—she changed my life….I wanted to honor her today.

This would have been her 87th Birthday.  As a single mother, Wanda raised me (an only child) in the Hood in San Diego California, through the turbulent 70′s–The era of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. The surfing wasn’t too bad by the way!  While she worked (6 days a week) –I partied…hard. She nevertheless was glad to be a supportive and nurturing mother and always backed me in any pursuit. Whether getting baptized or pulled from jail– My mother was an example of someone who poured out her life for me, the shaggy and sometimes ragged “next generation”.

Wanda loved her job, her son, and her friends at the local watering hole in National City, California—The Galloping Inn.  This was her “Starbucks– 3rd place” of support, therapy, and Bud on tap!  Heck, they even played Creedence and Janis on the jukebox while we shot pool!  Kinda of a family experience at the pub…I loved the grapefruit juice and Johnny Cash and even got good at pool!

I will always remember her kindness, patience, and expressions of real motherly love to me.  She was never afraid to express her confidence in me or to compliment a success or win. Wanda was always present at any significant life event and ready for the celebratory dinner out after. She was an AWESOME single parent. I love her….still.

In her later years, I had several opportunities to express my thanks and love for her loving parenting support…!  In her later years, the Pall Mall’s caught her and she got cancer….Bummer…or she used to say: “Bunk!.. She died in a cold February in Sioux City of cancer at the age of 63. I was really impressed by the Iowa kindness of those who honored her life and death. The Lutheran female pastor was my favorite—She helped her sister Wanda face death and come back to her King and Heavenly Father with courage and class. I gotta love those Iowa folks!…Especially my mom Wanda…See you on the other side Mom….Keep a light on for me.

 

–Scott “Robbie” Hammond

 

 

 

Merry Christmas!

Another year draws to a close, which means it’s time to dig through the memory archives of the past year and pull out meaningful or witty or exciting news about each family member…OK then…I’m trying…well, maybe we’ll just have to stick with a simple, boring update! So here goes—-

The most exciting thing that happened with Scott and I (yes, this year’s newsletter is authored by Joni, aka “Mom”, “Mom-Joni”, or “Mrs. Gabe”) is that we went to HAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  for the first time, to celebrate our 30^th wedding anniversary. We went with Jacob and Kelly, and had the most glorious vacation ever. I’m ready to go to Hawaii every year now.

Other than basking in the sun and snorkeling in the warm waters off Maui…

Scott has spent the past year continuing to develop his public speaking skills and to lead the Team at Suddenlink Media (local cable network provider). He’s one diligent guy, and since I’m authoring this year’s newsletter, I can take a moment to say that I’m really blessed to be married to him.

I (Joni) continue to run (completed my first half marathon this year and loved it!), to garden, and to indulge my maternal energies by caring for a batch of chickens. They are not too bright, they are not too clever, and they have kind of creepy feet, but there is something mildly gratifying when a flock of 10 birds race (as best a chicken can) towards you any time you step out the door. So what if they’re looking for scratch…

Jacob and Kelly put their roots down a little deeper in Medford, OR, by buying a house this year. It’s really a nice place; with a great view of Roxy Anne peak and a fine backyard for their growing menagerie (they added a Pembroke corgi puppy and a wee kitten, survivor of a junkyard).  Jacob continues to work his internet magic for pay, and restores old bikes and a VW bug for fun. Kelly produces amazing photography, and has been deeply bitten by the running bug; she’s got a couple of races planned for this winter and spring already.

Jesse continues to plug away at UC Davis, creating various computer models of Stuff and Information, dominating the underclassmen, and working steadily towards his goal of MA/PhD. He has a lovely young lady in his life who is also studying at UCD and who provides some balance to his life.

Kalea graduated from Humboldt State this spring, and the whole family gathered to enjoy the beautiful music recital she performed, and then cheered her on as she received her diploma. She is exploring her options for the next phase of her life; looks like she may head down south to see what life in the big city is like (we wish her well and are glad that it is her and not us, he! he! he!!).

Briana and Matt are still here in Humboldt County while Matt works on his contractor’s license and Bri takes college classes. She has what many of us would consider a dream job: she gets paid to exercise and care for horses. Paid! They recently moved into a really cute little house out by Blue Lake, and are looking forward to their latest addition….a little Doberman puppy.

Abby is oh-so-close to completing high school, and is deciding What to Do Next. She’s considering moving up to Medford to attend college. Or staying here and attending college. Or going on a short missions trip. Or taking a year off from school and working. Or who knows! We reassure her that the sky’s the limit (well, almost), and that with God leading, she really can’t go wrong, no matter what she decides.

Michaela is sitting much taller these days, as she finally had the long-dreaded spinal fusion surgery this past fall. While she really, really didn’t want surgery, the end result exceeds her expectations. She sits taller than her sisters now, and having a straight spine has made her much more comfortable overall. She’s still writing stories, reading about vampires, French history, and old Russia (she’s so eclectic in her interests), and basically growing up.

Gabe is NOT almost 13. NO. Well, heck, I guess he is, but I don’t see how that’s possible! He remains the most grounded, easy-going, mellow and happy person I’ve ever met. A woman in Arcata, upon watching Gabe for a few minutes, summed it up: “I think he must be farther evolved than we are. I spend so much time, so much energy, trying to be happy. And he just IS!”.  Lots of lessons to be learned by hanging with Gabe.

Aaron and Micah, bringing up the tail end of the family in age but leading the way in energy, continue to homeschool, learn, explore, fight, play-play-play, experiment, study, bicker, help each other, and remind us all that life is not so serious—enjoy it!

God continues to lead us, to comfort us and encourage us, to correct us and to change us. He is good, all the time, and we are so thankful for His presence and the peace that he gives. May you experience the same this holiday season and into the New Year!

~~~~~~~~~~~ The Hammonds~~~~~~~~~~~~

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