Name: Micah Hammond
Years in Business: About 9
Family Info: Large
Hobbies: Construction of amazing contraptions from duct tape, cardboard, and other household items
Activities of Interest: Legos, Video Games, Mine Craft, anything with Video
Burning desire: To become King/Ruler/Emperor
Something no one knows about me: Has an amazing tender heart
Keys to Success: Total, absolute creativity—-Is able to move on after blowing up
Nice email from a new friend who liked the Every Day Dad book….
So glad to finally have your book in hand. I feel like I need to take a week and outline everything that is challenging me in the book and create a game plan to devourer the time-wasters and grow in vision for my life and my lil’ babes.
I seriously love the book…I felt like it would be something I would immediately do with a bunch of dudes from my Church, but for now I totally can tell the medicine is for me in a “now” sorta way. This is seriously an amazing 3-in-1. Your book is a true gift; thanks for paying the price to serve this!
So I hope to give you updates as I grow in this, but as of now I feel a bit plowed over with everything the Lord is putting on my plate…I need help! Would you be willing to send me the Personal Strategic Planner you mentioned in the book? I would so appreciate it. I would also love a chance to ring you and get some leverage on this planning puppy…I know we’re basically BBF’s so this wouldn’t be any trouble, and if it sucks for you I can surely figure this thang out.
Thanks for being such an awesome light and providing barring for me: You Rock!”
I am not sure at which moment in time I get the permission to become a grouch–but it happens with too much frequency.
Here is what it looks like:
Cruising home–had an average day…
I get home and then discover the “2nd job”-Being dad and father and husband and more…
Look out the Grouch is rearing his belligerent head!
I go from zero to belligerent in less than :60.
Scary stuff bro…why is this?
Causes? Contributing factors? What and why and how did I come to this?…
What happened to “Become a better father” and all that mission, vision, and goal setting to be that effective parent and father?
(The short answer is –out the window!)
What are some of the causes for “Dad Stress” and how can we mitigate them going forward?
See Part 2 of the Grouch on the Couch for these and other answers.
I am his Connoisseur
My dad’s love is a child. Jealous and restless. His passion for fatherhood reverberates through my soul. His words always invigorate my weary spirit.
My dad’s love is a gift. Precious and priceless. In a world where one gets swallowed by pressure and impulse, his presence in my life secures me from uncertainty.
My dad’s love is a light. Vivid and defining. His triumphs lead me to the path I must take. His mistakes show me the history I must not repeat.
My dad’s love is a stream. Overflowing with infinite generosity. Even without his physical presence, I am confined with his unwavering care for my welfare.
My dad’s love is a pole. Independent but never isolated. Nobody would believe that his thin, frail body was able to raise me as a single father after my mom passed on when I was born.
My dad’s love is an oxygen. Universal and unprejudiced. He has devoted five decades of his life fathering thousands of students inside the portals of their ‘second home’.
My dad’s love is a storm. Uncontrollable and forceful. His concern may supersede logic. We may always find ourselves at opposite poles, but our love for each other has never diminished.
My dad’s love is a voyage. Bold and daring. He helmed our family to endure the strongest waves, the most depressing trials, the most shattering truths. His courage stood up to the roster of challenges that almost tore us apart.
Above all, my dad’s love is a wine. Timeless and seasoned. From the day we first met, he has only remained prudent and dignified. His wisdom gleams a velvety resonance to my spirit. Despite his feat, he only gets finer by the day, just like a glass of wine.
-Jose Paolo Cheeseman Calcetas
To know is to love…
As you learn more about who your children are and how they have been designed–how they are wired…
Let them know and discover more about yourself as well. Let them in on YOU.
Disclosure and being real and open as a parent is key to developing a healthy relationship with your kids–for a lifetime.
Can you keep it “real”?…or do you tend to put on a “parenting self”… as you deal with your kids.
My twenty-something kids call this being “Legit”.
Children can smell a fake a mile away—do the know you, like you, and trust you?
Only then you can have a great relationship!
Let patience, kindness, love and the willingness (courage) to trust and be trusted as you move forward as a family.
Authenticity is the key—can you be real and keep to the role of a great parent…Yup!
The Tiny Guide to Being a Great Dad
Post written by Leo Babauta.
I am blessed with six wonderful children and a fantastic and lovely wife, and for this I am deeply grateful. But on a day like today, a lazy Sunday morning when my family is sleeping in and the soft light of the morning permeates the house, I reflect on what it’s like to be a dad.
Not just a dad … a great dad. This is a height I don’t always reach, but I believe I do inhabit that space sometimes. I’m a great dad, on my best days.
If you’re curious about my thoughts, as a dad of 19 years that has included countless sleepless nights, endless answering of questions, thousands of nursery rhymes sung and horsey rides given, hundreds of thousands of words read in children’s books, more than my share of wiping up spitup, poopie butts and much more … here is my offering to the world.
Don’t worry, it’s a fairly simple guide.
The Three Rules
There are only three things you need to do to be a great dad:
1. Be there. If you’re in their lives, you rock. If you’re there when they scrape their knee, lose their first tooth, need someone to cry to, need help with their school project, want a partner for playing house or hide-and-seek … you are already being a great dad. Be there, when they need you, and when they don’t.
2. Love them. They will know you love them, if you love them fully. It will show in your smile, in your touch, in your good-morning hugs. But also tell them on a regular basis. Infuse all your dad actions with love.
3. Be present. It’s great to be in the same room with them, but as much as you can afford to, be fully present with them. Shut off the mobile device, close the laptop, turn off the TV, and really pay attention. Listen to their long fragmented stories. Really watch when they want to show off their new wizard or ninja move.
That’s it. That’s all you need to be a great dad. Well, there are some bonus moves, but those are just extensions of the above three.
The Bonus Moves
If you want some specifics of how to do the above three rules, here are some ideas:
Sing with them.
Run around with them.
Make believe with them.
Read to them daily.
Dance with them.
Tell them corny jokes.
Paint with them.
Make videos where they are the star.
Set a healthy example by being active and eating well.
Show them how to be independent.
Teach them critical thinking, rather than just obedience.
Teach them how to teach themselves.
Don’t be overprotective.
Show them you’re proud of them.
Let them make mistakes.
When they get hurt, use that moment to teach them how to deal with pain.
Show interest in what they’re interested in, and don’t make it seem trivial.
Show them how to work passionately.
Spend some quiet cuddly time with them.
Make them pancakes with faces.
Have Nerf dart gun fights.
Play board games.
Take them on hikes.
Play sports with them.
Show them how to use a knife.
Honor your commitments.
Love your wife, and treat her with respect.
Be compassionate to others, and them.
Be happy with yourself.
As you arrive home after your day or work—do a quick PERSONAL inventory.
H A L T….!!
If so, satisfy and notify. Communicate to others as appropriate, what you are feeling.
Give yourself food, talk with your partner, go out back and pray, etc…
Let others know what you need for that moment.
Give yourself a time-out, a shower, or whatever will satisfy the identified need.
Yes, there will always be reasons why some of this coping strategy cannot be done, but even sometimes is better than not at all.
In Review—HALT—Employ an appropriate tool–Then come back on line as the awesome parent you really are!
Help your kids ease into sleep with some pre-sleep routine that works for everyone.
This is key as it actually sets the stage for the next day in many ways.
We often start with a warm bath followed by the customary tooth brushing—those dental bills!
We then have a variety of bedtime “tools” depending on the age of the child.
My wife will often have a reading time with our 2 young boys centered around books they like.
With my older, special needs son, it is more of a time of getting him “tucked in” and comfortable followed by prayer.
This all includes appropriate and customary “kisses goodnight”, hugs, and acts of affection.
Tell your kids you love them—and why.
Every family melts down–sometimes! When things aren’t going well what can you do as a leader-parent?
Here are a few tips and ideas you can employ TODAY to help you and the fam get through the “rough spots” we all encounter in family living:
- Call for EVERYONE to take a :60 second “time-out”—Stop and walk away, take some breaths, and remove yourself from a volatile situation first.
- Call for EVERYONE to “freeze” (remember freeze tag?)—Stop the action and words of everyone for a minute or so before resuming.
- Discuss the Scene (drama!)–Have everyone stop and consider their roles and how they might make some changes in tone, words,body language etc…
- Replay the Scene–Make it a better “scene”. Replay it as many times as necessary to make a more positive scene and consequently a better overall “Family Play”
- Have Fun–Dare to have some humor and laugh with (not at) each other. Crack an appropriate joke and lighten the mood when trending toward a family drama.
In honor of Father’s Day and fathers everywhere….
www.becomeabetterfather.com is sponsoring our 4TH Annual Father’s Day Writing Contest.
We want to know our readers opinions of what it takes to be a AWESOME father.
We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.
The question we pose is:
” MY DAD MAKES A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE__________________.”
Here are the official rules…
- Write about what you think an AWESOME father is (A poem,essay, or other writing form) LIMIT 300-500 WORDS and simply email to us!
- Email your entry to email@example.com
- You must have your entry posted by midnight, Pacific Standard Time, June 30th, 2011.
- July 1st, 2012, the lovely Mrs. Hammond will pick a winner based on what she think rocks!
- The winner receives a free full one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, an Every Day Book, a full-featured blog post on www.becomeabetterfather and much more!
- We will post an entry on this blog in July 2012, containing links to the winning entry…… so you will get a free link out of the deal.
- You will win an autographed copy of the Every Day Dad: the Guide to Becoming a Better Father!!
That’s it and good luck! The question remains: “MY DAD MAKES A DIFFERENCE
Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine