The 5:1 Ratio

The Magic 5:1 ratio-

Researchers study relationships report that stable couples don’t allow the relationship to be overrun by negative feelings. In fact, they say, successful couples maintain a healthy balance between their positive and negative encounters with each other. They don’t avoid disagreements. They don’t avoid arguing. But they do balance out any negative interactions with positive feelings and actions but showing interest, being affectionate, showing they care, being appreciative, smiling, paying compliments, laughing, showing concern, etc. In other words, stable couples have at least five times as many positive interactions in their relationship as negative ones.

“All you need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true! We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us. The key question for me and you is, can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love to those we do love?

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most? Moreover, what is your spouse’s favorite Language of Love? Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love.

The 5 Languages of Love

1. Words of affirmation– this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time– this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts– showing others we care and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service– To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally, to serve someone.
5. Physical touch– To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch- hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.
Men tend to really like number five and number one. A word of encouragement and appropriate hug or more! can fill our emotional tanks and keep us going for long periods of time.

SUCCESSFUL PARENTING

Successful Parenting—

Successful parents are clear and spot on with what they’re trying to accomplish in training their children. Discipline and focus must balance grace and mercy. There must be a balance between grace and discipline in managing a family in raising great kids.

Great parents are intentional parents. They know what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. Parenting also comes with the mandate to be flexible. Flexibility coupled with humor, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and the ability to keep it light will help parents get through many a dark time.

Training our kids through leading them by example and serving them is also a key component in that our values are usually caught not taught. This modeling of our values and walking our talk is key in setting an example for our kids to follow.

As we live our values as parents, our kids are taught and catch what we are instructing by the message of our lives and example. The key is for parents to be totally focused on this key role, whilst understanding none of us are perfect— thus we need grace both on others and for ourselves as parents.

Legacy Leaver?

Be a Leader/ “Legacy Leaver”

Leadership means many things to many people. I think it means being proactive, being the first, and:

• Taking the initiative
• Setting the standard
• Managing effectively
• Planning often and well
• Resourcing whenever possible
• Identifying the vision, goals, and priorities
• Setting the example, always

A good leader takes responsibility and says; “The buck stops here!” when something is not right.

Leaders show the way and model through active example what they’re trying to express and accomplish.

They press on and press in, and they run counter to the culture of convenience and quick fixes. They refuse to get sidetracked by the “bright and shiny objects”, the diversions, and side-eddies of our culture.

They strain and strive with intentionality and energy to build relationships and create a legacy, a heritage, and a family.  They do much of this by simply taking the initiative, being intentional, and by writing and accomplishing compelling goals that are relationship-based.

Parents, you are the key; you are the leader. You must be intimately in touch with your mission, goals, and objectives as a parent. This requires discipline, selflessness, living your priorities, and time management. You must leverage the hours of your day and be intentional in everything you do. Time is the only resource you’re guaranteed to have.

The key here is to write down what you want… dream it, plan it, and do it.

The questions are…

1. Who are you?
2. What do you want?
3. Why are you here?
4. What is not working, that you would like to see work?
5. What is happening now, that should vanish?

The answer to these questions will determine your “brand” as a parent and as a leader. What “brand” are you now? What  “brand” do you want to be?

Here are some thoughts on leaving a legacy and heritage:

What will they say when you’re gone?

A good parent transfers the following attributes and character qualities to her/his children…

• Love for God (as you understand Him)
• Love for people
• Values
• Ethics/ knowledge
• Wisdom and understanding
• Love and compassion and kindness
• Positive  attitude and motivation

Great parenting requires us as parents to raise children in the way they would be best served.

They are individuals, not part of a cookie-cutter machine. Therefore, we need to work with our kids on their level, meeting their needs, resourcing, respecting, and fostering the individuality of each child. We must study to know them and then resource their gifts, attributes, and skills. No two children are alike. This all requires patience on our part to work on their level, one or two things at a time.  Slowly, with a patient parents heart.

Who is leading your family?

• What will your best friends say at your funeral?
• What is a life well lived?
• What is greatness? Family Legacy?

Got to or………..Get to?

“Have to” vs. “Get to”

The key here is attitude. You don’t HAVE to do these things. But, you GET to do these things. Your motivation and attitude is everything so decide now in the seat of your will that this is a priority to you, and you will succeed at it! When will you get started on your Parenting Plan?

How will it look when you schedule your kids into your life and keep your appointments with them? What will it take for you to be the initiator and leader with the plan and in your family?

Our priorities need to become people and relationships. Learning to be here now is a key aspect to developing these key relationships. As we all know, time flies when you’re having fun.  Kids grow, people die, people move on and life changes very rapidly.  This is why slowing down and enjoying relationships and people and being in the moment is such a key piece to enjoyment and fulfillment in life.

To align yourself with high quality of life and living is to have fun, enjoyment, and to be a lifelong learner and contributor.  The results are compelling-satisfaction with our lives, relationships and legacy: joyful participation.

Do you have a plan in training yourself to relax and be in the moment? Do you have a vision to train yourself to enjoy the moments?  Are you able to suspend your inner Type A person and duct tape him in the corner?  Can you suspend activities to do that which gives us real-life?  Will you align with your priorities and live in the “now?”

The result will be no regrets in your old age or on your deathbed. Will you be able to look back and truly give thanks for life and the legacy left to others?  Can you die happy and fulfilled knowing you did your part and left a heritage that was compelling to other people? When it’s all said and done what is fathering success? What does it look like?

The answer lies in a word: Relationship.

Our relationships define our “success” in this world. So, how‘s the wife and kids?

What is Good Communication?

What’s communication? It’s talking; it’s also writing, using images, lots of non-verbal communication, too. For our purposes, it’s mostly talking. Communication is talking with the intent of instructing, supporting, sharing, and understanding, imparting values, entertaining, influencing, and helping people make decisions that are good for them and good for you. Communication has to do with connecting to other people on a relational basis. Good communication is the foundation of active listening, focused attention, and being present in the moment to really have a quality exchange with another person.

It is good expression and good listening in concert together. Good talking and expression have much to do with thoughtful and considerate efficiency of words. I must think before I speak. Good talking sometimes requires organization, order, outlined material, and even rehearsal.

Active listening comes with the understanding of total focus on the other person which allows true connection and compelling communication. Communication requires intentionality, the safety of relationship, and time just to do it.

The attentiveness that comes with being in the moment and being present requires us to stop, slow down, and focus on the communication exchange at hand. Active listening requires checks for accuracy. It is okay to stop and ask the person to repeat what was said. This is to get a reality check for what you think you heard.

This allows the other person to know that you are focused in the moment and interested, and also gives yourself the ability to process the communication at hand.

Understanding is the whole point of communication. Can you truly reflect back both to yourself and the other person what is being said and really get where the other person’s coming from? Do you see their point of view?

The power of your words is immeasurable and compelling. We must be careful, considerate, and wise in the use of our words when dealing with all people. The power of our words to speak blessing, to help others, or encourage is amazing. Equally, the negative speech that we’ve all suffered from throughout our lives can cripple, hurt, and scar for life.

Knowing the power of your words and being able to be an encourager who speaks blessings is a huge key to life and parenting. The power of your non-verbals are equally compelling. Your tone, your volume, your rhythm, your cadence, your face, your hands, and so much more speak volumes— perhaps more than the words themselves. Encouragement in words can be healing and life giving to those who genuinely receive it.

Be aware of the following as you speak—
• Facial expression
• Your hands
• Your eyes
• Your body
• Your tone
• Your volume
• Body positioning
• Rate and speed of speech
• Vocal variety
• Cadence and rhythm and more…
Other tools for positive communication include: being able to persuade others and help them see your point of view through useful tools such as storytelling, organized and ordered speech, and efficiency of words without undue emotion.

“You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” by Dan Pearce

Simple….Man!

Simple Man, original artist is Lynrd Skynrd. Written by lead singer Ronnie Van Zant and guitarist Gary Rossington.

Seemed like a Great Song for a Fathering Web Site……..

SIMPLE MAN

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time… dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.

(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

(chorus)

Boy, dont you worry… you’ll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

You just broke your child. Congratulations by Dan Pearce

You just broke your child. Congratulations.
Dads. Stop breaking your children. Please.

I feel a need to write this post after what I witnessed at Costco yesterday. Forgive me for another post written in desperation and anger. Please read all the way to the end. I know it’s long, but this is something that needs to be said. It’s something that needs to be heard. It’s something that needs to be shared.

As Noah and I stood in line to make a return, I watched as a little boy (he couldn’t have been older than six) looked up at his dad and asked very timidly if they could buy some ice cream when they were done. The father glared him down, and through clenched teeth, growled at the boy to “leave him alone and be quiet”. The boy quickly cowered to the wall where he stood motionless and hurt for some time.

The line slowly progressed and the child eventually shuffled back to his father as he quietly hummed a childish tune, seemingly having forgotten the anger his father had just shown. The father again turned and scolded the boy for making too much noise. The boy again shrunk back and cowered against the wall, wilted.

I was agitated. I was confused. How could this man not see what I see? How could this man not see what a beautiful spirit stood in his shadow? How could this man be so quick to stub out all happiness in his own boy? How could this man not cherish the only time he’ll ever have to be everything to this boy? To be the person that matters most to this boy?

We were three from the front now, and the boy started to come towards his dad yet again. His dad immediately stepped out of the line, jammed his fingers into his son’s collar bones until he winced in pain, and threatened him. “If you so much as make a sound or come off of that wall again, I promise you’re going to get it when we get home.” The boy again cowered against the wall. This time, he didn’t move. He didn’t make a sound. His beautiful face pointed down, locked to the floor and expressionless. He had been broken. And that’s how his father wanted it. He didn’t want to deal with him, and breaking him was the easiest way.

And we wonder why so many of our kids grow up to be screwed up.

I’m going to be blunt. People see my relationship with Noah, and quite often put me up on a pedestal or sing my praises for loving him more than most dads love their own kids.

Damn it. I don’t understand that, and I’ll never understand that. Loving my son, building my son, touching my son, playing with my son, being with my son… these aren’t tasks that only super dads can perform. These are tasks that every dad should perform. Always. Without fail. There is nothing special about me. I am a dad who loves his son and would literally do anything for his well-being, safety, and health. I would gladly take a rake in the face or a jackhammer to my feet before I cut my own son down or make him feel small.

[sigh] I am far from a perfect dad. And I always will be. But I’m a damn good dad, and my son will always feel bigger than anything life can throw at him. Why? Because I get it. I get the power a dad has in a child’s life, and in a child’s level of self-belief. I get that everything I ever do and ever say to my son will be absorbed, for good or for bad. What I don’t get is how some dads don’t get it.

Dads. Do your faces light up when you first see your child in the morning or when you come home from work? Do you not understand that a child’s entire sense of value can revolve around what they see in your face when you first see them?

Dads. Do you not realize that a child is what you tell them they are? That people almost always become what they are labeled? Was whatever your child just did really the “dumbest thing you’ve ever seen somebody do”? Was it really the “most ridiculous thing they ever could have done”? Do you really believe that your child is an idiot? Because she now does. Think about that. Because you said it, she now believes it. Bravo.

Dads. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that you can’t find 20 minutes to step away from your computer or turn off the television to play with your child? It has to happen every single day. Do you not understand that children will hinge their entire facet of trust on whether or not their dad plays with them and how involved he is when he plays with them? Do you know the damage you do by not playing with your children every day?

Dads. Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary? Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves? Do you not know that there are incredible books and courses that can teach you better methods? Most importantly, do you not see the speed at which a child is crushed or becomes completely defiant when anger rules the roost? Are you that desensitized to the luminosity of your child’s spirit that it doesn’t crush you completely when they flinch or cower in your presence? Is that really what you want your child to do? To fear you?

Dads. Do you not realize that your child needs to feel your skin on his? Do you not realize the incredible and powerful bond that skin on skin contact with your daughter will give you? Do you not understand the permanent mental connections that are made when you stroke your son’s bare back or rub your daughter’s bare tummy while you tell bedtime stories? And if any idiot says anything about that being inappropriate, you’re gonna get kicked in the face, first by me, and then by every other good dad out there. Touching your child is your duty as a father.

Dads. Wake up! These precious souls that have been put into your care are unique and so very sensitive. Everything you say or don’t say will impact their ability, success, and happiness throughout their entire lives.

Do you not realize that your kids are going to make mistakes, and a lot of them? Do you not realize the damage you do when you push your son’s nose into his mishaps or make your daughter feel worthless because she bumped or spilled something? Do you have any idea how easy it is to make your child feel abject? It’s as simple as letting out the words, “why would you do that!?” or “how many times have I told you…”

Let me ask you this. Have you ever looked into the swollen eyes of a parent who’s child has just died?

I have.

Have you ever cried through a child’s funeral?

I have.

Have you ever touched a wooden box with a child inside? A permanent tomb from which another laugh or giggle will never sound?

I have.

If you want the motivation to be the best parent on earth, do that just one time. I pray you never have to.

Dads. It’s time to tell our kids that we love them. Constantly. It’s time to show our kids that we love them. Constantly. It’s time to take joy in their twenty-thousand daily questions and their inability to do things as quickly as we’d like. It’s time to take joy in their quirks and their ticks. It’s time to take joy in their facial expressions and their mispronounced words. It’s time to take joy in everything that our kids are.

It’s time to stand up and ask what we can do to be better dads. It’s time to get our priorities straight. It’s time to come home and actually be a dad.

Dads. It’s time to show our sons how to properly treat a woman. It’s time to show our daughters how a girl should expect be treated. It’s time to show forgiveness and compassion. It’s time to show our children empathy. It’s time to break social norms and teach a healthier way of life! It’s time to teach good gender roles and to ditch the unnecessary ones. Does it really matter if your son likes the color pink? Is it going to hurt anybody? Do you not see the damage it inflicts to tell a boy that there is something wrong with him because he likes a certain color? Do we not see the damage we do in labeling our girls “tom boys” or our boys “feminine” just because they have their own likes and opinions on things? Things that really don’t matter?

Dads. Speak softly to your sons. Speak calmly to your daughters. Who do you want your child to be? Do you want him to be the kid at school that sits by himself with absolutely no friends or self esteem? Or do you want him to be the kid running for class office and feeling like he deserves to win it? Do we not see that we have the power to give that to our children? Do we not see that we have the power to teach our children the tools of societal survival?

Dads. Do we not see the influence we have when we say we believe in one thing, but our children see us living something else? Do we not realize how little we encourage our children to actually decide what they believe, declare what they believe, and then live by it? Whether it’s religion, politics, sports, or societal norms. It is not our place to tell our kids what to think. It is our place to teach our kids to think correctly. If we do this, we need have no fear of what they will decide for themselves and how strongly they’ll stand behind it. A man will follow his own convictions to his death, but he’ll only follow another man’s convictions until he steps in manure.

Damn it, Dads. Every child has the innate right to ask for ice cream without being belittled and broken. Every child has the innate right to do so without being made to cower in the corner because the man who is supposed to be his hero is actually a small, small man altogether. Every child has the innate right to be happy, and giggle, and laugh, and play. Why aren’t you letting them? Every child on earth has the right to a dad who thinks before he speaks; a dad who understands the great power that has been given to him to ultimately shape another human being’s life; a dad who loves his child more than he loves his television shows or sports games; a dad who loves his child more than his material junk; a dad who loves his child more than his time. Every child deserves a superhero dad.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of dads don’t deserve their kids.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of dads aren’t really dads at all.

I apologize for the heatedness of my post. I believe a part of me feels like a coward for not saying something to the man in front of me at Costco. Consider this post to be my penance. Perhaps a part of me feels that if even one person reads this and decides to be a better dad, it was worth every second that I spent typing it. If one child has a better life because something in my words stirred their father to step up their game, then it was worth every ounce of begging and pleading with you to share this with others, of which I am inevitably going to be guilty.

Dads. Children are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making. So stand up with me and show the world that there are a lot of good dads around.

To the men and women who read this post… married or not… parent or not… share this post on Facebook and Twitter, even if it doesn’t apply to you because you’re already all these things. If you’ve ever seen a father break his child, share it. You never know what child might get his superhero dad back. You never know what tiny spirit might feel just a little more loved because Dad took the time to tuck her in tonight.

All because you were willing to paste one link and ask others to read it.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing Pleading

PS, I am seriously ornery and sad right now. Please comment below and say whatever you like, but please also tell me about a good dad you know, somewhere, and what makes them good. I really need to hear it right now.

TIME MANAGEMENT AND THE 80/20 RULE

Time management—

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time.  Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life.  Show me what you do with your time and I’ll show you what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on core strength.  If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything.  Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time.  Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities.  Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible.  Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom.  The “work your plan” part has to do with time management.  Planning is great, but is useless without execution.  Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

Time management can be leveraged through productivity systems and good planning.

The 80-20 rule is evidence of this…. You accomplish about 80% of your results from 20% of your work.  The key here is to find your personal “prime time” then leverage that time in the most productive way possible.  To schedule around your 20% “prime time”, where you are most productive and efficient is the key to leveraging time, productivity, and accomplishment. For most people their prime time is in the morning.  This is the time to get all of your core work accomplished.  This key time is to be secured and set aside as the valuable commodity it truly is. Prime work time should be scheduled on a daily basis and should have compelling content at its core. Planning, goal setting, reviewing, communicating, executing initiatives, key meetings, key document creation, and much more are all the key elements of utilizing your prime time window.

Procrastination and its opposite  workaholism are both dysfunction to avoid.  Our society allows for both to its detriment.  It takes discipline and self control to avoid the dysfunction of workaholism and over commitment and the sickness and the result they produce. The same can be said of procrastination—we are to avoid it like the plague. It all starts with analysis and admission and truly owning our own poor habits.

The idea here is to have a balanced life. This begins with healthy relationships and healthy personal spirit.  Living your life in balance and alignment starts with living your priorities.  The piece and congruity that results is compelling.  A life lived well, living your priorities, and being able to have fun productivity that energizes you is a compelling work style/lifestyle.

The Covey idea of sharpening your saw and resting so you can work more efficiently is the key.  A life lived in balance with family, work, community, friendships, and personal fulfillment is truly a productive life.

It all starts at time management, personal discipline, and self-control.  Just do it.

Time management is—

The definition of Time management is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

Learning time management will do the following:

1. Give a personal definition of time management, and how you can use it
2. Help you know the signs that you’re off-track
3. Help you know the signs that you are on the right track
4. Help you know what your focus should be on

You know you’re on the right track when—

1. Your customers, boss, family and peers praise your accomplishments.
2. You meet your sales, personal, or family goals and have a positive performance
3. You are often considered for additional responsibility and special projects.
4. You feel good about your work and family and are energized by them.

You know you’re off-track, when—

1. You’re working really hard, and little is being accomplished
2. You’re not meeting your sales, personal, business, or family goals
3. People around you complain about you
4. You’re the only one who seems to think you’re doing a great job.
5. You’re always putting out fires
6. You’re spending a lot of his time socializing and complaining

Eight most common time wasters—

1. Lack of planning
2. Lack of priorities
3. Over commitment
4. Management by crisis
5. Haste
6. Paperwork and reading e-mail
7. Routine tasks
8. The telephone

How to combat procrastination—

1. Accept that procrastination is common, and that you are not unique
2. Fearing failure is absolutely normal… we often procrastinate because we fear failure
3. If you find you tend to procrastinate in certain situations… face them head on
4. Never choose low priority work in front of high priority work
5. Control your socializing at work
6. Schedule start time as well, as the finished time for your work being planned
7. Adopt single handling thinking. Touch it wants.  You’ll pick up one job only and only put it down when it’s finished. Multitasking is a myth…

We should focus on activities that—

1. Contribute to your customer,  family, stakeholders success and satisfaction
2. Booster personal productivity and performance
3. Support your family or organization’s strategic vision and goals

Time management tips—

1. Know and use your calendar or Daytimer
2. Prioritize demands on your time
3. Keep your priority list in front of you
4. Keep checking your progress with time management.
5. Stockpile work or questions, and to schedule says its time work on them.  Only work on things in your scheduled to do so.
6. Seek support when you need it— delegate
7. Develop techniques that help you when in a unique situation
8. Pick a morning or an evening to work when no one is around and get organized.  Order creates less stress and helps focus
9. Spend a few minutes at the end of the day putting everything in its home base and getting ready for the next day.  Remember… trash it, act on it, refer it, or file it away.

10.  Keep yourself motivated.

More tips for time management—

Making a commitment that you’ll measure time more efficiently to be the best promise you ever make to yourself.  In the long run, you’ll be glad you did.  Here are some tips that may help to some move your way to a little more time efficient life.  You may even find that after you get the hang of it, you’ll have more free time!!

1. Manage your availability— in which coworkers know when you are available to help them and when you’re not.
2. Learn to prioritize—one of the most important things you can do in your search for more time. Prioritize your commitments.  If you belong to any organizations that are turned into obligations, just give up your membership.  There is not enough time to spend on doing things which aren’t that important to you.
3. Make all your calls in the morning—this is when people are most likely to be available.  Then, block off the rest of your day on interrupted work.
4. Schedule time every week to take care of your filing—take time every week to get your filing done and keep up the organizing and purging of your files.  This will go a long way to help you stay on top of your job responsibility.  The get and stay organized.
5. Create an activity log—keep a detailed personal activity log for several days to determine how you’re actually using your time.  See where you’re spending too much and not enough time.
6. Control your busywork—it’s not always easy to admit that sometimes we allow ourselves to get immersed in busywork.  Focus on the job at hand and don’t let meaningless tasks consume your precious time.
7. Create a system for yourself—no one knows your schedule better than you do.  Incorporate simple and effective systems in your life that help you do what must be done on a daily basis so that you actually can get things accomplished.  Get a routine and form positive habits.
8. Don’t bite off more than you can chew—break up big projects into manageable pieces.  Divide your projects and concentrate on one part at a time. Gradual progress and growth is the best practice.
9. Never forced the finishing of a project, if it can be helped—there’s no point in force yourself to finish a job when you’re not making any headway.  Switch to another project in the new challenge will refresh and renew your mind so that you can return to the original job.   You will then feel ready to complete it.

10.  Plan ahead—this tip will eliminate the procrastination and ensure higher productivity.  Estimate how long a job will take.  Then at about one third more time.  Then count the number of days back from the deadline, and set that as your defining starting point…Hot tip!

11.  .Learn what is urgent, versus what is important—there is a tremendous difference.  Too often we respond to the urgent and forfeit the necessary.  In other words, things that demand our media attention usurp what is necessary.  By contrast, important tasks might not require an instant response, but they necessitate important activities that will keep you on track in achieving your goals. Be wary of the Tyranny of the Urgent!

12.  Under promise and over deliver—this is a very old axiom, but nonetheless very true.  Never promised too much; you’re more likely to disappoint people.  Instead, with all things, under promise and over deliver.  People will be pleasantly surprised when you’re done more than originally planned.

Five ways to improve productivity—

There is so much happening and less and less time to handle of all these days. Learning how to increase your productivity could give you the edge you need to get it all done.  The idea of getting it all done is nebulous at best.

Do we ever truly get it all done?

To think that we could have it completely whipped is a fallacy and a dangerous life paradigm.  Could you get at least some of it done?  It is possible…. here are a few ways and strategies that can increase your productivity:

1. Schedule your time for work—be consistent.  Don’t do personal things in your schedule to work.  Make it to do list and prioritize your tasks.  A list is often more effective for those of us need to consult a reference or see it in writing.  When you’ve completed a task, cross off your list.  You get a real sense of completion in satisfaction as you see your list getting shorter and shorter.
2. Do the most difficult, time-consuming, least favorite jobs first— do the first things first.  Do the hardest task at hand when you have the most energy and motivation to tackle the project.  If you tackle the toughest job first, the rest of your tasks will seem that much easier.
3. Do not allow yourself to get interrupted by other people’s emergencies or drama—be able to say No.  Learn to have boundaries.  Learn to say no and a polite but firm way.  Be professional, kind and understanding, but also be ready to use the most famous boundary word of them all: NO.
4. Organize your files—set up the system right from the beginning.  Don’t reinvent the wheel.  Use a Daytimer for scheduling. Have a 31 day and 12 month filing system. You can have technology, but don’t let technology have you. Do not reinvent the wheel.  An ordered space will allow you to be less stressed.
   1. Organize your workspace—the better organized and efficient your workspace, the more efficient you will be in time management.  The time it takes you to search through out all your piles of paper or to remember where you put that file could be spent in working on new projects.  Put the things you use most on your desktop and always put them back in the same place when you’re done.  Keep a file organizer on your desk for current projects, so they are always at your finger tips.  Have clearly delineated places for everything.

My Dad Bob—Died 6 Years ago Valentines Day

I am realizing that the pain of missing a loved one transforms with time. I actually relish remembering my father Bob–one of the Greatest Generation who impacted my life with his love for God, people, and nature.

Valentines Day is becoming a joy in rememberance of the love, fellowship, and good times we enjoyed with my earthly father, Bob Hammond. He was the sweetest guy who really “Got it” when it came to thankfulness and gratitude. He was always and eternally grateful for all the “nice occasions” he was experiencing by the grace of God. He always gave God all the credit….faithful, thankful, joyful, and prayerful…in all things.
I still find myself wondering why i am reacting or acting as he would have in given circumstances. Help!—I am becoming my dad!….both good, bad, and the ugly. At the end of the day my hope is in the resurrection at the end of days when Jesus calls us home and we have eternity to get caught up. this hope is a driving force to live and love and to go forward—even in grief. This Great Gathering is more than beyond what I can conceive in my puny brain–so I am forced to trust, believe and have faith in the word and the Author, Perfecter, and Finisher of my faith.
See you soon dad and Abba Father God.
Scott

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