Our Children are in His Care by Nancy Parker

As Christian parents we always need to be reminded that our kids are God given and that they really do not belong to us. The Lord in his divine sovereignty knows what He is doing when He gives us our children. He has everything already planned for all of us from before we are born. Sometimes as life is going on around us we begin to think that these are our children, this is our life, and we forget that the Lord is in control and not us.

I have a twenty year old son that has spent the last several years living on the fringes of right and wrong. I know now that my precious Lord Jesus has been protecting him and answering my prayers. Sometimes if we can not see the work He is doing we think He is not answering. He tells us over and over in His word (Matthew 7:7; John 14:13-14; 1 John 3:22 are just a few) that if we ask anything in His name He will do it but do we really believe it?

I was overwhelmed recently with His great compassion, tender-mercies, and loving-kindness towards me by revealing a little of what He is doing in my son’s life. My son came in one evening with a revelation, something our Lord had revealed to him. He said, “Mom, do you know what the Lord told me tonight as I was driving? He told me that I did not belong to you and I did not belong to myself either.

He told me I was His.” Oh wow. And I had been wondering what the Lord was doing in my son’s life, correction, not my son, HIS son.   For the last several years I have been extremely fearful. I mean the kind of fear where you feel like you just cannot breathe. Terrified is more like it. I frankly did not know how I was going to keep living this way without losing my mind. I was praying but I was not trusting. I was at that place where I could not do it any more; you know the place; it is the place where Jesus is waiting. I began to cry out not only for my son but for my own sin. I had to confess the sin of fear which in all truth is unbelief.   I came to the realization that I did not trust Him when I was praying and asking for my son to be rescued out of the darkness of the world and into His glorious light. I did not truly believe He was going to do what I was asking or why would I be terrified? I was not praising Him for answering my prayers. He revealed to me my unbelief and like the father in Mark 9 in verses 23-24 I cried out “I do believe; help my unbelief.” And then Jesus told me; “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27 (NAS)

I keep thinking of the story of Peter walking out on the water to the Lord; and what happened when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus? He sank. He was full of fear and cried out to Jesus. Immediately Jesus took him by the hand and to safety. The Lord has been teaching me to “fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 (NAS)   I still have times when that panicked feeling hits but within just a short time I remember and turn to my Savior and I ask for Him to be faith through me, peace through me, hope through me, and I start quoting His promises from the word. “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 (NAS) We must stay in the word of God daily.

Since God spoke the world into being that should reveal to us just how powerful His word is. We need to memorize His word and speak His word when situations arise. The only weapon we need is His word and His promises; “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 (NAS)

I was listening to a godly, biblical pastor just the other day and the Lord revealed something to my heart through Him. He said that we could either live being crushed beneath life and its burdens, heartaches, and fears or we could build a bridge to go above it. The bridge boiled down to two verses in the Bible that give us all the hope we need to keep our eyes on the Lord. I don’t know about you but I love when things get narrowed down for me. I know it is my wonderful Lord just revealing Himself to me more clearly. The two verses that the pastor gave were: “The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all. Psalm 103:19 (NAS) and “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NAS).   Do you see what those two verses say? The first verse says that God is sovereign and the definition of sovereign is to possess supreme or ultimate power. He has power over everything and everyone and He is in control of everything. The second verse says that He is causing (defined as: The producer of an effect, result, or consequence. b. The one, such as a person, event, or condition, that is responsible for an action or result.) all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and who He has called.

If we truly believe in Him and in His word then why should we ever be afraid? He understands that we are just flesh and blood and we get afraid but He also makes a way of escape through Him. Nothing is going to happen by chance and everything that happens is working towards our good. Now I know that is very difficult to believe when bad things are happening in our lives. He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. “For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (NAS)   If you look back on your life you will see that the only time you actually grow in the Spirit is during trials. He loves us so much and He wants us to be fully equipped in Him to live this life we are living in the flesh. As I was telling you earlier, I was gripped and overwhelmed by such great fear I could not bear it. He was loving me through it and trying to get me to realize that it not need be so. He wants to take on those burdens for us and He wanted me to know that He can and will do it for me. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NAS)   And He actually wants us to “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4 (NAS) He wants us to be strong and full of joy, peace, and hope.

He does not want His children to suffer from sin, He wants us to turn to Him and He will do it for us. If we are walking in the flesh this is impossible, but if we are in Him and walking in the Spirit, everything is possible.   I wanted to share what I am learning with others because I am so thankful that my wonderful Lord and Savior is lifting me up out of the darkness that I have been walking in. I want to share so that others can find victory in Jesus and in His word. I did not realize I was walking in unbelief, I thought it was normal to grieve over the sins of a child. I was praying but I was not trusting. He loves me so much and He has lifted the heavy burdens off of my heart. If you are grieving over a child, a marriage, an illness, or any heavy burden please cry out to our awesome God who is waiting to help you. He just wants your entire attention so that He can reveal more of His love to you. I pray that this will reach even one who is suffering as I was and that our Lord will give you the victory.   “The Lord bless you, and keep you: the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

 

Author Bio   Nancy Parker is a regular contributor to www.enannysource.com and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny background check tips etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com

My 7 Business Lessons

7 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT BUSINESS FROM RON PILEGGI

I met Ron Pileggi in 1983 when he hired me as an ad sales rep for the Tri-City weekly paper in Eureka. He struck me as an entrepreneurial visionary with a plan and a mission to change the community in a positive way via business.  As owner and the founding architect of the Tri-City weekly newspaper, Ron modeled good business acumen. He showed me and each of us how to conduct business in a process that really valued people first. Here are the seven lessons he taught me and still teaches me today.

1. Rule number one– People come first. People, relationships, and friendships are everything in business and in life.  As the owner/operator of the Tri City, he modeled real care for employees, clients, vendors, people in his industry and beyond. Client relationships and personal care of others was at the forefront of everything Ron practiced in his business.
2. Rule number two –Client relationships are invaluable, as Ron demonstrated in his actions and policies. He said that good leadership is all about being a good servant. He taught that good service sets the stage for good customer loyalty and customer relations. If you serve your clients and take good care of them–they will take care of you as well. Customers vote in dollars and purchasing. People really do buy from people they know, like, and trust. One thing he told us is to go out and make friendships–then people will naturally buy from you.
3. Rule number three– Turn off the lights. He often told me if you want to be a manager you must act like a manager and be a great steward of your business. He challenged me to personally take good care of the resources entrusted to me. Things such as time, energy, and other resources were looked at in a new light. This taught me that I need to take ownership of all I do at work.
4. Rule number four—Speech is powerful. Ron often stated that the power of your words is everything. When words are spoken with clarity and sincerity, people are really affected by what we say. He stated this in the context of selling but also in real life. When we say what we mean, and mean what we say–we are often unstoppable in business and in life.  He taught me about the power of words and I’ve never forgotten this lesson.
5. Rule number five—Be involved in your community; participate readily and joyfully. Ron modeled good community involvement in CASA and in Rotary and more. He was always the guy to say “yes” to someone with a good cause. He may not have been involved directly, but he gave freely of his resources. His involvement with the community modeled what we all need to do—to be involved with causes that we resonate with and are most passionate about. Find your cause or your passion, and then plug in your gifts and experiences and resources. You will add to the greater good in your community and beyond.
6. Rule number six–Think creatively and out-of-the-box at all times. This means not only with business and selling, but also in the ways that help real live people. Be willing to bend or even break the rules as necessary and as it makes sense to benefit the greater good.  “Be entrepreneurial in your problem solving”, he would challenge. He taught how to think creatively with regard to business problem solving and helping customers meet their needs. He often showed us and told us that if we meet others’ needs, they will meet ours as well. If you help enough people get what they need, they will help you do the same.
7. Rule number seven–Be generous and celebrate people. His (in) famous Christmas parties displayed a great generosity and were always “over the top” in showing his appreciation for his staff. Ron would gladly put on the most extravagant party–even for an outgoing employee. He didn’t know selfishness. My father, Bob Hammond, called him “a prince of a man” in that he was always very generous with his employees, clients, and his community. We all were the better for that–so was he.

In summary, Ron was human. He had his moments like each of us. The one thing he did was to model a whole business person. He cared for others and was profitable at the same time. He found that balance between profitability and success and taking care of other’s needs; Ron was able to do both in splendid fashion.  He left an indelible mark and positive legacy on this community for over 30 years and still does to this day. It is a pleasure and a privilege to know a saint and a friend in the caliber of a Ron Pileggi.  If you ever have the opportunity to work for an owner-operator-entrepreneur of this magnitude, you will agree that it is an awesome and  once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and experience.  Thanks, Ronnie.

–Scott Hammond

FROM WALL-FLOWER TO FULL BLOOM—The secrets of Becoming a Gnarly Networker

“80% of life is showing up.”

–Woody Allen

I was sitting with my friend at a recent networking meeting. As I was speaking to her, I realized how far she’s come in learning how to network, speak, and connect with people. She had developed her people skills and had really become rather professionally transformed. She had “bloomed” and come in to her own. She came from being a “wallflower” to become a gnarly networker–in a short period of time.

Let’s explore about how folks like you and I can become great networkers, speakers, marketers, and communicators. How do people go from good to great—often in short order? I have seen many people come into “bloom” and come to connect to their own experiences, gifts, and skills in their midlife. Many folks actually come into their “professional prime” rather late in midlife. Their talents were always there—just latent and waiting for the right conditions.  It’s amazing to see others come into their own as they exercise their gifts, experiences, and talents to communicate freely with others. They basically find their “voice” and a new ability to joyfully participate in (professional and business) life. They bloom.

An example of this is my friend, referenced earlier, who was rather shy. Her background was not in business and she had very little business acumen. With application and time and work– she became a very proficient networker, speaker, and communicator. She had really “bloomed”. She applied herself and went out into the world and made herself learn to deal with, relate to, and even love people and become a proficient speaker, marketer, and “gnarly networker”. She is now rather fearless when it comes to groups, meetings, and even direct selling.

This “blooming” is much like akin to a flower; in their infancy they are small buds.  Flowers, like folks, when they’re given their correct growing conditions, they bloom—often magnificently. When the rosebud is small and insignificant it has very little beauty and no scent. They’re actually thorny and not much fun to deal with. When it’s given the opportunity to develop, a rose in full bloom is the pinnacle of God’s creation. They’re lovely, smell great, and beautify any landscape or room. In like manner, when people encounter a midlife “bloom” –they often beautify the world with their gifts and “fragrance.” They may even smell and look better!

We actually have the ability to set the stage for our own professional and personal growth. We can set it up to bloom professionally and more brilliantly. With fertilization, light, correct nutrients and with the right location– a flower– or a person– can be magnificent in short order. Kind of like my friend–she put herself in a position to grow personally and saw the results rather quickly. In the same way, you and I can set the stage for growth. Know what you want. Show up. Be present. Help others. Serve. Be kind…

A lot of blooming is being exposed-being in the light. Being out there and exposed to the elements and to the nutrients needed to develop our “inner bloom.” We can actually grow quickly and more profoundly if we do it with intentionality. What is it take to be intentional? It takes a goal and focus and execution. It takes time management– it takes work and effort. Much of it is simply showing up and being relational.  Zig Ziglar says it well—“You must circulate to percolate.”

 Much of life is figuring out what it means to come into our own. How do you develop those in to your gifts and other skill sets that lie dormant in your life?  Part of the answer lies in your DESIRE to grow and to expand and learn. Come out of your comfort zone. If you’re willing, then sometimes the execution of the necessary effort becomes rather easy. It’s often at that point that we can grow and come into our own and become of use to others.

This notion of being of use to others is the primary motivation. How can you and I be of use to our family, our community, and our world?  The answer is coming to your own and finding the next level of “best”, going from good to great and then “blooming.”  Be willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary and let nothing hold you back from becoming all you can be. Come into your own today. We have been waiting for you a long time. Be like that flower that comes out of the bud phase of their life into full fruition. This fruition gives life, color, smell, and sensory benefit all that experience it. Be that open flower today. Go out and set the stage then bloom in all your brilliance and glory!

 

 

 

Tools of a Gnarly Networker

20 Ways to Stand Out and be More Memorable by Arnold Sanow

Dale Carnegie who wrote the book, “How to win friends and influence people” shared how he won a major sale by making himself memorable in a positive way. While sitting at dinner he started talking with a gentleman at his table. The man at his table spoke for four hours while only allowing Dale Carnegie the opportunity to speak for only about two minutes. After four hours the man stated to everyone, “Dale Carnegie is the best conversationalist I’ve ever met”. By being an active listener Dale Carnegie was not only portrayed as a great conversationalist, but the man instantly took a liking to Dale Carnegie. Since Dale was interested in him he was interested in Dale and later he provided Dale Carnegie with a great sales opportunity.By following the guidelines below, you’ll stand out in the crowd and make yourself more memorable to everyone you meet. Introduce yourself to others. No matter where you are act like you’re the host. Be the first to say hello. Make an extra effort to remember people’s names. As Dale Carnegie says, “the sweetest sound to a person is their name.” Use eye contact and smile upon meeting someone. The best way to build rapport is through eye contact. Make everyone feel important by paying full attention to him or her. Former President Clinton is a master of this. When you talk to him, he makes you feel like you are the only person in the room. Show others that you are enjoying your conversation with them. Don’t yawn, look bored or have a case of roving eyes. Show curiosity and interest in others. Listen, Listen, Listen. You not only become more likeable, but you really start to understand the persons wants, needs and desires. Be enthusiastic about things and life to others. People will gravitate to those upbeat, positive and cheerful people. Display your sense of humor. People remember humor six times longer than regular conversation. Be able to speak on a variety of subjects. Keep abreast of current events. Speak concisely. Be able to tell people what you do in a few short sentences. Speak their language. Talk in terms of their communication style. For example, if someone just wants the facts, don’t go into a lot of stories and anecdotes. Be tolerant of peoples beliefs if they are different from yours Invite people to join you for lunch, dinner and other social events Ask them for their opinions Don’t interrupt Have positive body language. Use the SOFTEN technique. S=smile, O=open posture, F=forward lean, T=stay out of their territory, E=eye contact, N=nod to show understanding. Be yourself. Enjoy the conversation Give them more than they expect. In other words, underpromise and overdeliver. Compliment others about what they are wearing, doing, or saying, but be sincere. See Article link on “How to Avoid Connection Crushers” http://www.arnoldsanow.com/uploads/AvoidconnectioncrushersCopy.pdf

10.5 THINGS MY DAD TAUGHT ME ABOUT BUSINESS—STUFF MY DAD SAID

 

“If you’re in business for just the money—you’re about half paid.”

R.L. Hammond (1921-2004)

My dad was an insurance agent in San Diego County in the 1970-80’s. He lived a life of serving others and his country in WWII. He taught and tutored me in much of what I know and do in business today.

The following practices/ideas of his are sure to ratchet up your business acumen:

1. BE KIND TO EVERYONE—“It doesn’t cost anything to show kindness to others, Scott,” he would say. Be nice. Play nice. A smile and a small kindness go a long way.
2. HAVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE/SHAKE HANDS AND GREET PEOPLE- People love to feel important (because they are!). An appropriate handshake and a greeting really affirm others and establishes rapport-quickly. Give the gift of appropriate touch.
3. TELL GREAT STORIES—People live in stories…We all relate to a good tale and learn more from a compelling story than a lecture. Stories bring relevance to our topic and to our relationships.
4. BE A GOOD LISTENER—This tells people you affirm them and value them. Empathy is a powerful relationship builder and establishes credibility, reliability, and shows you really care.
5. BE AN ABOVE AVERAGE SPEAKER—Learn the art of public speaking. Good speakers know how and what to communicate and when.  You can learn to speak well if you apply yourself to the disciplines and use the tools available to you.  “Go to a Toastmaster Meeting”, he would tell me.
6. HAVE AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR—Laugh sometimes. Have fun with people and stop the somberness that permeates some business cultures. Be appropriately playful with people who like to play and laugh, and cultivate the ability to really laugh at life.
7. DEVELOP LIFELONG RELATIONSHIPS—Be the person who reaches out and calls and takes the initiative in your relationships. Be that person who spends the time and effort to get to know and serve others. Givers really do gain!
8. GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT…FREELY—Be that person who can freely affirm, encourage, and genuinely build others up in a truly authentic fashion. Heck—tell those you love how you feel.
9. BE A GIVER—Share your life, world, resources, experiences, gifts, and time as freely as you feel able and willing.  Be that person who “walks the talk” in your actions and your words. Give to others expecting nothing in return—you will be blessed.
10. BE SPECTACULAR ON THE PHONE—Learn to use the phone like no one else. Make purposeful and powerful calls that build rapport and relationship. Learn to network using the phone to make great calls and reach out to those you hope to build alliances with. Know how to relate to people via the phone on a regular basis.

10.5. BE YOU—Just be yourself not a second rate version of someone else. Trust yourself, be   yourself and others will resonate with the “authentic you”.  There is only one of YOU—be the best you possible and you will succeed in life, business, and awesome relationships!

 

What It Takes to be Number 1. by Vince Lombardi

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

“There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.

“Every time a football player goes to play his trade he’s got to play from the ground up — from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.

“Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization — an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win — to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.

“It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there — to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules — but to win.

“And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.

“I don’t say these things because I believe in the “brute” nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle — victorious.”

- V. Lombardi

1913 – 1970

PARENTING TIP #10.–TO KNOW IS TO LOVE

To know is to love…

As you learn more about who your children are and how they have been designed–how they are wired…

Let them know and discover  more about yourself as well. Let them in on YOU.

Disclosure and being real and open as a parent is key to developing a healthy relationship with your kids–for a lifetime.

Can you keep it “real”?…or do you tend to put on a “parenting self”… as you deal with your kids.

My twenty-something kids call this being “Legit”.

Children can smell a fake a mile away—do the know you, like you, and trust you?

Only then you can have a great relationship!

Have the goal of no one in your family being afraid of another family member.

Let patience, kindness, love and the willingness (courage) to trust and be trusted as you move forward as a family.

Authenticity is the key—can you be real and keep to the role of a great parent…Yup!

 

Parenting Tip #4.–Give Them Some Responsibility

Give your kid some custom fitted work.

What I mean is this: find some small responsibility that is perfect for your child.

Convey to him that he has been carefully selected for this special job.

Pick something that is age and ability appropriate and assign it—do it in writing or a chart if necessary.

There are 100′s of small responsibilities to choose from—pick a few.

Here are a few categories—Home, car, pets, yard, kitchen, food, garage, trash, dishes, laundry, and the list goes on….

This assignment will do 3 key things for the family.

1. Create a sense of value and worth in Junior–She will feel awesome as she is successful and told so.
2. You as a parent will have a lighter load–Now you can spend that quality time with her or some YOU Time.
3. There will develop a family culture of teamwork–You will all begin to understand and experience family team contribution paradigm.

Start today and be smart–”Let” them pick out some pre-arranged chores and take ownership.

Chart it and hold accountable. Keep it fun and encourage and reward with frequency.

You and they will be glad you did–You are the parent and the leader: make this happen today!

 

Parenting Tip #1—For the Difficult Child

Parenting Tip number one.

Show and speak united as parents –Be United and mutual in your communication to your children.

As often as possible, address your child together, preferably holding hands as you do.

When addressing your children as an individual parent, always represent the “parent team ” and speak accordingly.

Speak and act as one unit—be in common on how you handle issues, communication, and problems with your challenging child.

We tried this with our son Micah—We held hands and spoke our truth for that moment.

It really blew his mind!  He couldn’t believe it—he sat there quiet and watching and listening!

Try it today—Make it real and “legit”… Can’t fake unity.

You’ll be surprised

at your results and response!!

The 5:1 Ratio

The Magic 5:1 ratio-

Researchers study relationships report that stable couples don’t allow the relationship to be overrun by negative feelings. In fact, they say, successful couples maintain a healthy balance between their positive and negative encounters with each other. They don’t avoid disagreements. They don’t avoid arguing. But they do balance out any negative interactions with positive feelings and actions but showing interest, being affectionate, showing they care, being appreciative, smiling, paying compliments, laughing, showing concern, etc. In other words, stable couples have at least five times as many positive interactions in their relationship as negative ones.

“All you need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true! We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us. The key question for me and you is, can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love to those we do love?

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most? Moreover, what is your spouse’s favorite Language of Love? Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love.

The 5 Languages of Love

1. Words of affirmation– this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time– this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts– showing others we care and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service– To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally, to serve someone.
5. Physical touch– To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch- hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.
Men tend to really like number five and number one. A word of encouragement and appropriate hug or more! can fill our emotional tanks and keep us going for long periods of time.

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