11 Guidelines for Fathers Day

11 Guidelines For Effective Parenting

1. Really listen. Listening creates clear communication by giving undivided attention and encouraging expression of feelings. Have real conversations, when you both listen and respond/react to each other.
2. Encourage family activities. A sense of belonging is developed by doing things together, from social activities like driving to the store, going on an outing, or doing something fun together, to household chores or projects.
3. Discipline constructively. It is important to give clear directions and to enforce limits on behavior. Use a positive approach: “Do____”, rather than “Don’t___”.
4. Be consistent. Discuss and post house rules. If they change, announce the change. Better yet, have a family meeting to discuss the changes.
5. Be clear. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t try to tell the other person what you think it is they want to hear. Stop being a pleaser… you will never please everyone, least of which yourself.
6. Be reasonable and understanding. Be willing to hear your child’s point of view. Have logic and compassion. Use grace and truth. Speak the truth in love.
7. Be flexible. Bargaining is an effective tool. Don’t major on the minors. Consider the individual.
8. Be authoritative. Trust in your own common sense. If you are not sure about a decision, announce the need for some time to think about it. Then, do not hesitate or be indecisive; simply lead.
9. Develop mutual respect. Model basic trust by being honest and sincere yourself. Insist that all family members treat each other with honor and respect. Be the first to apologize and repent when you err.
10. Attend to your own needs. Maintain your individuality and cultivate your interests and talents. Treat yourself well, thus avoiding the martyr syndrome.
11. Maintain a sense of humor. Finding humor in life is an important aspect of personal adjustment. Humor is a decision. It reflects a positive outlook that keeps issues in perspective, and separates what is really important from what is not.

3 Top Mistakes Dads Make

1. Not Having Family as #1 Priority….Not having and keeping family relationships at the top of life’s priorities.  Identifying and making your wife and children the focus of your life and existence.

2. No Time Management/Execution….Not really living and investing your resources(time, money,focus,gifts, and life units) in family life/relationships.  Allowing the urgent to dominate the truly necessary.

3. No Accountability/Responsibility….Answering to no one at any time.  Not having someone who will hold you accountable and ask the hard questions about living your said family/fathering priorities.

THE COSTCO DATE

What kind of life do I have when the highlight of my week is a date with my wife at Costco?

With 9 kids, you can imagine it’s difficult to have any quality time to talk, reflect, communicate, or simply get on the same page with your spouse. My premise here is to show just how spending time together, no matter where it is, is the key to a great marriage.
I’ll tell you about the story of our Costco date, the benefits of our time away, and the satisfaction it brings me to be with my wife.

We start with a list. We must do an inventory of what we need to buy at Costco—paper products, cereal, refried beans, milk, eggs, frozen items, etc. etc..

Then comes the drive, where we catch up with on the week’s activities and just generally talk about life.
Here is where we set the stage for some time of good communication and quality time together.

Going into Costco is always fun, as there are several regulars who are colorful, wonderful, and friendly.
I do have to pull myself away from the high-definition televisions that my wife will not let me own.
We inevitably see other couples on their Costco date as well.

One of the highlights is the tasty samples, and of course looking for the great deal.
I just found some really cool Docker sweats for only nine dollars!

We grab our food at the food court, where Judy always asks about our kids and if indeed we’re on another date. We say yes, of course, and exchange pleasantries.

Now comes the time to carefully load up our catch and drive to the selected spot of the day to enjoy our quiet dinner-a sumptuous repast par excellent!
Here’s where we talk about the deeper things; kids, goals, schedules, God, the upcoming week, and life in general.

Time for the drive home. Sometimes we stop at Starbucks, which always is a great way to end a Costco run. We get home now, and the kids unload the Costco booty and are delighted to see stuff that they wanted. And we needed.

I discover that I do have a life when the highlight of my week is a Costco run/date with my wife.
Life is good. When I have time away with my best friend to shop, have dinner, go to Starbucks, and just have fun.

What am I lacking at this time?
Nothing.

Scott’s Bio

A father of nine, professional speaker, business professional, and a marketing career of 25 years have provided Scott Hammond with a rich and varied background of training and experience. As the founder and owner of BecomeaBetterFather.com. He brings more than 25 years of professional and parenting experience.

Scott was born in Emmitsburg Iowa and grew up in San Diego, California, before moving to Humboldt County California. After earning his BA and recreation administration at Humboldt State University. Scott worked in radio, newspaper, and the cable TV ad sales industry for over 25 years.

In addition to being recognized as a competent and Silver ATM Toastmaster, a graduate of the Cascadia school of leadership. Scott is a graduate the National Speakers Association’s professional speaking school, Pro Track.

Scott uses a comfortable, personal speaking style to motivate, inspire, and train people toward positive personal change.

Scott resides in McKinleyville California with his wonderful wife Joni and 6 of 9 children.