What to do When Your Kid Breaks Your Heart

Come to find out that our older kids can really break our hearts when they make poor life decisions and even really blow it. I am in the early process of grieving the forfeited possibilities that my dear one has given up due to her less than optimal decisions.
Here are a few steps to consider as you process your broken heart–

1. GRIEVE–Really process the hurt. Talk to trusted advisors, your spouse, and others who have been there and done that.

2. PRAY–Take your hurt to God. He is not surprised. You have hurt Him in like manner and He still gives you His grace and mercy. Can you give the same? You have been forgiven much–now it is your turn to forgive.

3. TALK WITH YOUR CHILD/COMMUNICATE–Have a compelling and courageous conversation. Be open, listen, and DO NOT ATTACK. You are in this to communicate and SHARE FOR THE LONG TERM.
3. HAVE A LONG TERM PERSPECTIVE–You want to know, love, and invest in your kids for a lifetime. Make decisions with this in mind. Take your time. Do not over react, speak with finality, or do what will hurt the relationship irreparably in the long run.

Having your heart rendered in two really sucks. You have a right to be hurt. The key here is to be honest with yourself and others and focus on processing the hurt and then to move on.

4. MOVE ON–You have much at stake and cannot afford to get stuck in yet another drama. You are responsible for others, yourself, and are a steward of perhaps many things. It is key to not neglect these and still be true to your self, hurts, and then be ready to move forward. You will find the Grace if you seek Him with all your heart. I know this…

Pain is the Fuel of Passion

How God uses our pain and challenges to create passion and possibility. Fieldbrook CA Community Church September 2008.fieldbrook92808

Persuasive Speech Tips

1. Find an appropriate and interesting speech topic… this is the most difficult part of running a speech. Try something fun, relevant, and even popular.
2. Set realistic goals… set your sights on changing the mind of your audience in small increments. It’s likely you will not change long-held ingrained opinions on issues
3. Know your audience well… to be persuasive, you must identify with your audience and help your audience identify with you.
4. Use examples, they can relate to… to help the audience identify with your topic is local examples they can relate to. Things that are unique to your own culture, geography, or community.
5. Use excellent evidence… do your research and utilize judiciously, credible statistics, fax, quotes, and emotional examples.
6. Represent the other side accurately… when discussing the other side’s point of view, make sure you are accurate. You need to accurately represent their motives and their point of view.
7. Tell stories… we all have them, because we all live in them. People relate to stories more than anything. Learn to tell yours in a compelling way.
8. Use a compelling storyline… just like in the movies. A protagonist, a challenge, a letdown , a failure, a battle, a victory, and a resolution with lessons learned in the process.
9. Ask the audience to take action…. make them do something. have a call to action. To some change, activity, or behavioral adjustment.
10. Show the audience you care very much about your topic… if you don’t care why should they? You must really own your content on an emotional level. If you do not,it will show and your credibility will suffer as a speaker.
11. Be present and in the moment, as you deliver your talk… nothing is more powerful than one you are on stage, know your content thoroughly, and are able to relate it in a compelling way. As you are present, and in the moment, and having fun!