TIME MANAGEMENT

Hey, gotta minute?

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time. Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life. Show what you do with your time and you show what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on core strength. If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything. Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time. Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities. Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible. Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom. The “work your plan” part has to do with time management. Planning is great, but is useless without execution. Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

Benjamin Franklin wrote, “Do you value life? Then waste no time, for that is the stuff of which life is made.” The value of anything that you obtain or accomplish can be determined by how much of your time, or your life, that you spent to acquire it.

The amount of yourself that you use up in achieving the goals that are important to you is a critical factor to consider, even before you begin. Only by discovering your innate strengths and developing and exploiting them to their highest degree can you utilize yourself to get the greatest amount of satisfaction and enjoyment from everything you do.

Deciding what you want to do, what you can do well, and what can give you the highest rewards for your efforts is the starting point in getting the best out of yourself.

Show me how much you love your family by how much time you give them. Show me a dad who loves his family and I’ll show you a guy who plans and spends time with them.
Personal Time Management

The definition of Time management: is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

KNOW, LIKE, TRUST, AND BUY YOU………?

SALES IN THE NEW ECOMONY

THE SALES MEETING: My dad Bob Hammond came to the Tri City Weekly Monday Sales meeting several years ago. I was really excited to see this expert address the craft of sales with my cohorts.  He sat there and said these few words: “If you are in sales for the money, you are only half paid.” I was waiting for the next 59 minutes….Nothing! He was finished. He sat back and was finished with the Sales Training…I got annoyed until I realized what he had really said…

THE INTERPRETATION: What my dad taught was that business and sales are about relationships and people. The key to sales is to simply “Grow Relationships”. IF they know you, like you, trust you, they WILL buy from you. Relationship is king and People are paramount.

The NEW ECONOMY:

New Economy 2011 is not “Business as Usual.” I have been on the streets of Humboldt County for 30 years selling and it has NEVER been like this. Example: my informal survey of 200+ businesses has yielded only about 10 or so businesses that are doing “well.”  I think 50% of those are exaggerating!  Things are tough!

SALES IN A NEW ECONOMY

It has been said: “Nothing happens till there is a Sale”—it is the 2^nd oldest profession! Capitalism and the Free Enterprise System are all based on sales and selling. Nothing happens till there is a sale. Sales IS foundation of our economy and the core of the free market system.

Old Practices and “business as usual” are NOT working. The “good old boy network” is not so good today!  We must work harder AND smarter if we want to survive.

Things are really spooky and scary…What will we do going forward?  How will YOU change and adapt to this “New Economy…?” Read on….

KNOW, LIKE, TRUST, and BUY YOU….HOW?

KNOW YOU— (know ability)

Who is the REAL YOU-Genuine, transparent, and human? In order for relationships to work people need to get to know you: Really know You- Not the adapted or “professional” you. Can you let down your guard and “keep it real?” Also, are you present in your customers world—Networking, BNI, Chamber, Rotary, Associations, Social Media, etc.

LIKE YOU— (likability)

How can you be a more LIKABLE you? Serve others! Serving, helping, loving others: Remember—“They don’t care how much you know- till they know how much you care.” Serving others helps them Like YOU! Helping others sets the stage for real likability.

TRUST YOU– (trustworthy)

My Dad Bob said “It takes money to buy whiskey.” What he meant is that actions promote credibility in all you do-Actions speak louder than words. True.

Trust simply takes time, consistency, availability, and starts with small steps of incremental credibility.

BUY YOU— (buy ability)

When it comes time to buy (if you have done the above), you are the trusted advisor. The natural outcome will be to use your services. You will be the #1. Choice when your customer goes shopping! You have won them with loyalty and good service–they may shop but will buy from YOU!

BUSINESS LEGACY—

What will you work on to improve your sales, character, integrity, and love for others? This is the stuff of real sales, life, and relationships.

What are you known for? What will they say at your funeral? How will you be remembered in life, family, and business? Were you known?  Liked? Trusted? And Bought?

It really is about people and relationships and that is what we leave behind in a positive legacy.  Please remember the immortal words: “If you’re in it for the money you are only half paid.” Why settle for any less?

3rd Annual Father’s Day Writing Contest Winner Announced!

HERE IT IS…..NICE AND SIMPLE…..CONGRATS JANN S.

My father, Julian  died for his country,

he had a struggle that he left for me in his legacy

a struggle and an obsession with what i deem “THE ENEMY”

my dad’s addiction was passes down to me

i view it now as a rare and special gift

which is hard for some to see

but the gift brought me to my eternal father

a gift larger than any could possibly be

my life is purposeful now and anxiety free

my father is my king and the king of many

my father is not of this earth but he has left me directions

for my life in his written word

now i can let go of any pain and suffering and soar like a bird

I praise him and love him in every way

so that I can be with my dad, my father, my

God someday.

Jann S.

Listening #1.

Tools for Successful Dads: Listening

Communication has two parts-listening and expressing yourself.

Both must occur for communication to be successful. When you listen well to family members, you encourage them to talk about what’s most important to them. It’s easy to get careless about really listening.

Listening is at least as important as talking. Everyone needs someone to listen to them-someone who supports them and allows them to openly express feelings. Sometimes a person can find a solution or discover the sources of stress just by talking. Some of us process our feelings or find ways to clarify and express our thoughts by simply talking to others. Find out which of your family members process in this way and you will have a key to unlocking their “code”.

Parents sometimes feel obligated to lecture, present solutions, and give an analysis when listening. This is not good listening. A good listener should not feel obligated to advise, analyze, or have all the answers. Listening and responding with concern and understanding may be all the help needed.
The Art of Listening

The #1 human need is psychological survival, to be understood, affirmed, validated, and appreciated. In other words, we need to be heard and understood. It isn’t always easy because we live in a busy world, and many of us spend our days in a time crunch.

But the experts agree, when we take time to listen we improve relationships, promote an atmosphere of cooperation, and encourage creative thinking. We even save money and relational problems by avoiding costly errors caused by miscommunication.

Active listening does not come naturally.

Stephen Covey notes that when someone speaks, our initial reaction is to evaluate and scrutinize them which is the opposite of what we should do. We should focus on empathetic listening with the intent to understand and we must do this with the goal of helping.
There are 4 phases of empathetic listening, according to Covey…
1. First, is to mimic content, repeating exactly what the speaker has said
2. The Second stage is to rephrase the content to what was said in your own words
3. Third, you may reflect feelings or make a non-judgmental statement about the speaker’s emotions, empathizing with what or how he feels
4. The Fourth stage is a combination of the second and third stages, to rephrase content and reflect feelings
Sometimes we don’t want to hear what’s being said, choosing to be annoyed instead of understanding the other person’s view; this only damages a relationship. We’d make a better choice by moving forward, forgiving the offense and the offender, and resolving the problem.

Listening must come from the heart. If it is not sincere it will show regardless of what we say… nonverbal gestures will expose true feelings. When this happens, make it a point to remain focused on what the speaker is saying, actively participating in and practicing the stages of empathetic listening. The art of listening lies in understanding that to be an effective parent, leader, spouse, or any other role we must not only care about what others have to say, but also how they feel. Just remember your kids need your full attention, your patience, and a listening ear. Listen well when they speak. It will make you an even better parent than you already are

What is Good Communication?

What’s communication? It’s talking; it’s also writing, using images, lots of non-verbal communication, too. For our purposes, it’s mostly talking. Communication is talking with the intent of instructing, supporting, sharing, and understanding, imparting values, entertaining, influencing, and helping people make decisions that are good for them and good for you. Communication has to do with connecting to other people on a relational basis. Good communication is the foundation of active listening, focused attention, and being present in the moment to really have a quality exchange with another person.

It is good expression and good listening in concert together. Good talking and expression have much to do with thoughtful and considerate efficiency of words. I must think before I speak. Good talking sometimes requires organization, order, outlined material, and even rehearsal.

Active listening comes with the understanding of total focus on the other person which allows true connection and compelling communication. Communication requires intentionality, the safety of relationship, and time just to do it.

The attentiveness that comes with being in the moment and being present requires us to stop, slow down, and focus on the communication exchange at hand. Active listening requires checks for accuracy. It is okay to stop and ask the person to repeat what was said. This is to get a reality check for what you think you heard.

This allows the other person to know that you are focused in the moment and interested, and also gives yourself the ability to process the communication at hand.

Understanding is the whole point of communication. Can you truly reflect back both to yourself and the other person what is being said and really get where the other person’s coming from? Do you see their point of view?

The power of your words is immeasurable and compelling. We must be careful, considerate, and wise in the use of our words when dealing with all people. The power of our words to speak blessing, to help others, or encourage is amazing. Equally, the negative speech that we’ve all suffered from throughout our lives can cripple, hurt, and scar for life.

Knowing the power of your words and being able to be an encourager who speaks blessings is a huge key to life and parenting. The power of your non-verbals are equally compelling. Your tone, your volume, your rhythm, your cadence, your face, your hands, and so much more speak volumes— perhaps more than the words themselves. Encouragement in words can be healing and life giving to those who genuinely receive it.

Be aware of the following as you speak—
• Facial expression
• Your hands
• Your eyes
• Your body
• Your tone
• Your volume
• Body positioning
• Rate and speed of speech
• Vocal variety
• Cadence and rhythm and more…
Other tools for positive communication include: being able to persuade others and help them see your point of view through useful tools such as storytelling, organized and ordered speech, and efficiency of words without undue emotion.

Marriage and Your Communication Skills

Improving your Marriage Communication Skills

Even in the best situations, conflicts in relationships, family life, or work are inevitable. Unfortunately, the unskilled and negative ways we typically respond to conflict often causes even more stress, thus eroding relationships. This creates resentment within families and lessens personal and relational effectiveness. Here are some ways to improve your communication skills:
• Set an example—If you want your partner to open up more, set the example by sharing more of your own thoughts and feelings. Try sharing interesting things you’ve heard or read. Relate an experience that it happened during the day.
• Keep it light–Try talking about something else besides the problems. Make a decision not to bring up the hassles with work, kids, or finances, at least until later.
• Make “I” statements—Avoid starting a sentence with “you.” It sounds like an accusation or invitation to fight.
• Use the feeling words—Use good descriptors when describing what you’re feeling. It’s not fair to expect your partner to guess or figure out what you’re trying to say or feeling about an issue.
• Do something together—Experience has shown that people, particularly men, are more likely to share their feelings when they’re doing something together that both can enjoy.
• Listen… don’t talk— give the other person a chance to get his or her ideas and opinions across.
• Ask questions—guard against assuming you know what the other person meant by asking questions.
• Keep an open mind—don’t just listen for statements that back up your own opinions and support your beliefs. Be willing to listen to someone else’s point of view and ideas.
• Don’t jump to conclusions— don’t assume you have the gist of the conversation or think you know what the speaker’s going to say next. If you do not listen, you may miss the real point the speaker is trying to get across.
• Listen between the lines—remember a lot of clues to meaning come from the speaker’s tone of voice, facial expressions, non-verbals and gestures. Body language is usually an accurate indication of the speaker’s attitude or emotional state. Concentrate on what is not being set as well as what is being said.
• Provide feedback– Make eye contact with the speaker; nod your head when you understand the specific point or provide other feedback that shows you’re really listening.
• Summarize—when the person finishes speaking, repeat what the speaker has said in your own words to confirm that you understand. Summarize points of agreement or disagreement.

Staying Together

Relationships: Staying Together—What Makes A Marriage Work?

Conflict, anger, and frustration are an inevitable part of every marriage simply because they all are in the fabric of all human relationships. Why are some couples able to work through their disagreements or frustrations and survive and thrive, while others fall into a vicious cycle of negative feelings, emotional distancing and deterioration that leads to divorce?
Staying Together

It’s not how much you love each other that will best determine the future of your relationship, but how you handle and disagreements. Couples that stay together disagree about just as many things and the same things—money, time, housework, sex, priorities, the kids, etc.—as couples that divorce. The difference is that those in successful marriages know how to manage conflict in a constructive and positive way.

Researchers from two major research labs in the United States have found that the likelihood of the divorce can be predicted by studying how couples handle conflict. Disagreement isn’t predictive of divorce. The fighting isn’t predictive of divorce. Criticizing, stubbornness, withdrawal, and arguing that includes putdowns, accusations, and rejections are predictive of divorce.

Over time, these negative patterns dealing with conflict steadily erode all the good things in the relationship and ultimately lead to a relationship overwhelmed by negative feelings.
The Magic 5:1 ratio—

Researchers study relationships report that stable couples don’t allow the relationship to be overrun by negative feelings. In fact, they say, successful couples maintain a healthy balance between their positive and negative encounters with each other. They don’t avoid disagreements. They don’t avoid arguing. But they do balance out any negative interactions with positive feelings and actions but showing interest, being affectionate, showing they care, being appreciative, smiling, paying compliments, laughing, showing concern, etc. In other words, stable couples have at least five times as many positive interactions in their relationship as negative ones.

“All you need is love”…the Beatles wrote it because it’s true! We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us. The key question for me and you is, can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love to those we do love?

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most? Moreover, what is your spouse’s favorite Language of Love? Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love.
The 5 Languages of Love
1. Words of affirmation– this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time– this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts– showing others we care and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service– To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally, to serve someone.
5. Physical touch– To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch- hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.
Men tend to really like number five and number one. A word of encouragement and appropriate hug or more! can fill our emotional tanks and keep us going for long periods of time

“You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” by Dan Pearce

Dating at Cost Co

True Story – THE COSTCO DATE

What kind of life do I have when the highlight of my week is a date with my wife at Costco?

With nine kids, you can imagine it’s difficult to have any quality time to talk, reflect, communicate, or simply get on the same page with your spouse. My premise here is to show just how spending time together, no matter where it is, is the key to a great marriage. I’ll tell you about the story of our Costco date, the benefits of our time away, and the satisfaction it brings me to be with my wife.

We start with a list. We must do an inventory of what we need to buy at Costco—paper products, cereal, refried beans, milk, eggs, frozen items, etc. etc. Then comes the drive, where we catch up with on the week’s activities and just generally talk about life. Here is where we set the stage for some time of good communication and quality time together.

Going into Costco is always fun, as there are several regulars who are colorful, wonderful, and friendly. I do have to pull myself away from the high-definition televisions that my wife will not let me own. We inevitably see other couples on their Costco date as well.

One of the highlights is the tasty samples, and of course looking for the great deal.
I just found some really cool Dockers sweats for only nine dollars!

We grab our food at the food court, where Judy always asks about our kids and if indeed we’re on another date. We say yes, of course, and exchange pleasantries.

Now comes the time to carefully load up our catch and drive to the selected spot of the day to enjoy our quiet dinner-a sumptuous repast par excellent!

Here’s where we talk about the deeper things; kids, goals, schedules, God, the upcoming week, and life in general. Time for the drive home; sometimes we stop at Starbucks, which is always a great way to end a Costco run. We get home, and the kids unload the Costco booty and are delighted to see stuff that they wanted and we needed.

I discover that I do have a life, a Great Life, when the highlight of my week is a Costco run/date with my wife. Life is good. When I have time away with my best friend to shop, have dinner, go to Starbucks, and just have fun.

What am I lacking at this time?
Nothing.

Salesman’s Prayer

Prayer From The Greatest Salesman In The World … by Og Mandino

Oh creator of all things, help me. For this day I go out into the world naked and alone, and without your hand to guide me I will wander far from the path which leads to success and happiness.

I ask not for gold or garments or even opportunities equal to my abilities; instead, guide me so that I may acquire ability equal to my opportunities.

You have taught the lion and the eagle how to hunt and prosper with teeth and claw. Teach me how to hunt with words and prosper with love so that I may be a lion among men and an eagle in the market place.

Help me to remain humble through obstacles and failures; yet hide not from mine eyes the prize that will come with victory.

Assign me tasks to which others have failed, yet guide me to pluck the seeds of success from their failures. Confront me with fears that will temper my spirit; yet endow me with courage to laugh at my misgivings.

Spare me sufficient days to reach my goals; yet help me to live this day as though it be my last.

Guide me in my words that they may bear fruit; yet silence me from gossip that none be maligned.

Discipline me in the habit of trying and trying and trying again; yet show me the way to make use of the law of averages. Favor me with alertness to recognize opportunity; yet endow me with patience which will concentrate my strength.

Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown; yet grant me compassion for the weaknesses in others. Suffer me to know that all things shall pass; yet help me to count my blessings of today.

Expose me to hate so it not be a stranger; yet fill my cup with love to turn strangers into friends.

But all these things only if thy will. I am a small and a lonely grape clutching the vine yet thou hast made me different from all the others. Verily, there must be a special place for me. Guide me. Show me the way.

Let me become all you planned for me when my seed was planted and selected by you to sprout in the vineyard of the world.

Help this humble salesman.

Guide me, God.

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