LEADERSHIP AND LEADING LIKE A LEADER
|“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time…”
Leaders press on and press in; they run counter to the culture of convenience or opinion.
Think about your personal leadership. They see life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then begin to live as though your life makes a real difference—because it does! Here are some ideas on how to show your leadership
1. To Impress or to Influence?
Would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life? Impressions are on the surface; therefore, they are often superficial. Influence, on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more time, patience, resources, and relationship.
2. Your Life’s Lessons.
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings? Can you safely share these with others who can benefit from your mistakes?
3. Your Disposition.
Is your disposition credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine? Do you act and speak with genuineness and transparency in the way you treat others? Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?
4. Leadership’s Purpose.
People are the priority. Are you able to connect with people and are you a relationship builder? Do you serve and meet needs? Do you truly love other people unconditionally? Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership?
5. Posture of a Legacy Leader.
Do you live in a mental posture of being open, teachable, and always learning? Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes? Do you walk and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living? Can you be a life-long learner or do you get stuck in old paradigms and ruts of thinking about life?
6. Passion and Legacy.
Passions define leadership. What are you passionate about? What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion? What would you do for free if it were possible? That is your passion.
7. Your Mission in life=People.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you? Then invest yourself in quality relationships with people. Be an example to follow. Serve others. Be communicative and relational with those in your life, world, and network. Press in and take the initiative.
Developing Dynamite Topics
Speaking in business is a key skill set. You will be judged by not only the words you use—but in how you use them. Become an exceptional speaker and you will win in business. This is true for a CEO, salesperson, or any front-line staff. People will judge your company by your ability to communicate the values and culture of your business.
What Is A Dynamite Topic?
Find YOUR Hot Topic in your industry and set yourself apart-fast!! Develop one that people remember. Find a memorable topic–something people will resonate with. This is not the same as a hot or trendy topic—Make it unique, memorable, and “you.”
Hot Topics vs. Dynamic Topics
Hot topics are the same as they’ve always been—Motivational, inspirational, sales team building, etc…
The problem with hot topics—they have too much competition—not so with a truly dynamic topic.
Trendy and hot topics are hot for a short time—then they fade fast—consider Miley Cyrus …
The danger with trendy topics is that they die out.
Why you want a Dynamite Topic
A dynamic topic reduces the competition–Think of how many voices there are—this will set you apart from the pack. This unique topic narrows your audience—you become unique and singular and one of a kind. Start by narrowing your topic down.
The Importance of Passion
Why you need passion…You will spend a lot of time on the subject
Reading, researching, note taking, rehearsing and more—you will “own” this topic.
What books interest you?
What television programs do you watch?
Is there a topic that people keep asking you for?
That’s one you should concentrate on—find out what your audience wants and what you are passionate about.
Developing a Niche
What do you know that’s unique? Do you have credibility?
You may have studied a very specific subject very intensely—what do you know?
You are already an expert in something. Finding what it is can be a challenge
Be controversial if you can–People like contrarian views.
A. Must have a hot title otherwise no one will remember it
1. Brief–3-5 words is best
6. Ask a provocative question
Testing Your Topic
Once you have a topic you must carefully analyze it…
Do audiences ask for more?
Do people ask you to expand on it?
Finally, find your passionate, dynamic topic and develop it. It will set you apart and you will be the expert in your field. Go for it—you know stuff no one else does—You have embedded knowledge…..help us and teach us what you know.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor. (1 Corinthians 12:18-23)
Sitting with my son through an entire church service is no easy task. As a matter of statistical fact, most parents of special needs children choose to not attend church (or they attend sparingly) because of the stress that accompanies potential, attention-grabbing disturbances caused by their child’s disability.
It’s easier to stay home and stay out of the congregational eye—the eye that seemingly stares and judges and blinks and winks.
“Yet the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.”
Indispensable: Not subject to being set aside or neglected; absolutely necessary; essential. (Merriam Webster)
My son is a 20-year-old autistic man with the cognitive mentality of a 2-year-old child, yet he is indispensableto the congregation of Redemption Church. He cannot speak (although he can make plenty of noise) yet he isindispensable to the worship service. He constantly kicks the chair of the person in front of him, he claps during the quiet times and cannot sit still for five minutes, much less the length of a sermon. Yet he isindispensable to the church—indispensable to the Body of Christ.
How can the least become essential and the weaker become indispensable in God’s seemingly backwards, upside down and inside out church body? With Jesus as the head, let me show you a picture of God’s great grace in the Body of Christ—His Church.
It’s Sunday morning and Jake is sitting in the very back row of the sanctuary. We are not placed in the back because we are unimportant; we choose the back mostly for strategic reasons. A hasty exit is sometimes required. Four seats are reserved for our family. This is just one of the ways our church ministers to us.
My wife sits on one side of Jake and I sit on the other. We take turns stroking his arms and his back to keep him calm enough to sit through an entire worship service. His mother runs her fingers through his thinning auburn hair. It has always been Jake’s sedative.
But this service is different. The pastor has just preached one of his final messages from an entire sermon series in the book of Romans and has come to a key verse that obviously catches Jake’s attention. The verse is Romans 16:16 “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.”
Jake perks up and listens as the pastor begins to apply the text, asking the congregation, “Why don’t we do that anymore? Why don’t we show affection in the church? Why don’t we greet each other with hugs and kisses? Why are we afraid of touch?”
Jake nods in approval of the pastor’s plea and gives an affirming grunt—his unmistakable, “Amen!”
I give my wife that silent look. She knows what it means. We have learned to speak clearly without words over the years—across rooms, through crowds, over noise, and in church. It’s a head slightly tilted forward, wide-eyed, pursed lip look. A nervous mix of, “Isn’t that cute” and “Batten down the hatches, something is about to happen!”
The pastor continues as he concludes his sermon. “We’re going to try something new today. (Just what every good church member wants to hear) After The Lord’s Supper, turn to the person next to you and give him or her a hug. And show some affection!”
You could feel the uncomfortable anticipation creep across the room as people began to think, “Is he serious? We have to touch each other, beyond a casual handshake?” I imagined what the visitors were thinking that morning; some after sneaking quietly into the room, now were exposed to their worst fear—being ousted from their anonymity and physically embraced by complete strangers.
People were looking around the room, checking out their neighbors, their prospective huggers, and the nearest exits.
I honestly remember thinking to myself, “If some guy tries to kiss me, I’m going to put him on the ground.” My heart began to drift—like hearts do, when they are afraid.
But the man-child moved to the edge of his seat and leaned in to the pastor’s words.
As the final prayer was prayed, the “amen” was sounded and the congregation dismissed, people began to mill uncomfortably towards each other. Some even tried to head for the door and avoid the offending invasion of their personal comfort zones.
The pastor gently prodded, “Come on now, find someone to hug before you leave!”
Two or three married couples at the front of the church, closest to the pastor, did a lean in shoulder bump with a patronizing pat on the back. Then a few more followed suite, as most of the congregation simply did not know how to respond to the awkward invitation and were content to go through the motions to please the pastor.
And that’s when it happened.
That’s when the broken little toe led the foot, and the foot led the leg, and the leg led the body, and the weaker member became indispensable.
Jake sprung from his seat and bolted into the isle before we could catch him. He ran straight over to an older gentleman (who was trying to exit the building unnoticed and presumably untouched) and nearly knocked him off his feet with a bear hug. It wasn’t gentle and it wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t short lived. Jake held onto the man until I could get through the crowd of people to pull him off. The stern look on the man’s face told me this was an uninvited intrusion into his wide, impermeable bubble.
But just as I began to unwrap Jake’s grip from the victim’s shoulders and apologize for the inconvenience, I noticed wetness in the older man’s eyes. Jake held tight and the man resigned his objection; his body went somewhat limp as sternness melted to a smile and unsure hands reciprocated the embrace.
My son finally released the man and I thought all was well and complete, but before I could redirect Jake back to his seat or to an exit door, he broke loose again. This time instead of restraining him, I let him go—because sometimes you have to set people free to experience the greatest freedom yourself.
He ran to hug another, and another, and yet another. He was laughing and jumping and hugging and loving. It was sloppy and loud and rough and painful. And the entire body was watching and learning and discovering what “indispensable” really meant.
Soon others joined in and the hugs spread like sparks jumping from a small, intense fire. As the wind of the Spirit blew where it pleased, the sparks turned to flames and raged through the church. But the only thing that burned up that day was the long-standing boundaries around comfort zones of personal pride and inward self-esteem.
People were laughing and talking and whooping and hugging—real hugs—feet off the ground, cheek to cheek, steal your breath hugs. And unbeknownst to most of the congregation, Jake was in the middle of it all, like an imprisoned apostle set free; like a preacher without a voice, called by God to “go and make disciples”.
That Sunday started something new for Jake, and something new for the local body of Christ at Redemption Church—a sort of mini revival set afire by the unsuspecting, silent ember of one indispensable blazing heart.
Now every Sunday he sits, waiting for the end of the service. Waiting for the Lord’s Supper, the closing benediction and the final “Amen”. Not so he can get home and watch Sunday afternoon football or fix Sunday dinner or take a Sunday nap. Those things are the farthest from his simple mind.
He lives to apply the meaning of the message with complete lack of inhibition for his unbridled, bubble busting, in your face, knock you to the ground, God honoring, Jesus exalting, Spirit saturated —joy!
Sometimes it’s loud and painful. Sometimes he pokes an eye, or lands a knee, or leaves a slobbered wet spot on someone’s clean Sunday best. Sometimes we have to restrain his ambition just a bit for the protection of the elderly and the petite. Sometimes we wince when a visitor gets picked for the embrace. It’s usually awkward and it’s almost always uncomfortable.
But every Sunday after church, the real worship begins in the heart of obscurity. And an autistic, non-verbal, disabled, man-child shines like a white hot spotlight of God’s grace for the motley, multifaceted church body to see and understand—
“God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor.”
Your personal narrative — in business and life
Scott Hammond/Business Sense
”Assumption is the mother of all (screw) ups.”
– a guy in that one movie
Everyone has a narrative in their life. It’s how we explain life, people, business, relationships and more. It’s the story we tell ourselves about others — their motivation and attitude — it’s our way of explaining how people, business and life operate.
The problem with our negative narratives is that we’re often dead wrong in the way we perceive things. This could not be truer than in business and the marketplace. In business, it is imperative we be accurate in our assessment of reality. Our company life and success depend on it.
The narratives we tell ourselves in life and business are often incorrect or incomplete. The problem is that we misjudge in our “narration” of others and call it “reality” and therefore often respond and react inappropriately. Bad decisions are made and even compounded. An example of this might be when a leader judges or “reads” another when they have absolutely no idea about the reality of the situation of that person. Leaders often make decisions based on wrong assumptions, bad data and poor interpretation of the facts. This phenomenon is problematic both in professional and personal life.
Relate this to customers, stake holders, competitors and the marketplace at large — we can end up completely misunderstanding an entire situation — possibly, even an entire relationship. The fundamental problem with our own “negative self-narration” is that it often leads to poor action, responses and results. This can lead to loss, bankruptcy, broken relationships — and not to mention business failure.
Negative business narration has three directions it can go:
Internal negative narrative — this type of “negative business narrative” tends toward our own self-justification and judgment of other’s internal drives. This is where we find it easy to presume we know the inner workings of other’s motivations, attitudes and how they think. Here, we find it easy to vilify others and justify ourselves. This is a narrative in which we can never see ourselves as wrong. When we vilify others, we often excuse ourselves. The phrase that is used is “excuse and accuse.” When we think like this, have no need for personal responsibility. Poor decisions are made when we presume to judge the motivation and intention of others. We can make all kinds of crazy happen in this state of thinking.
External negative narrative is where we perceive just the external circumstances and draw our conclusions. This is based on what we can perceive only externally. Here, mistakes in good judgment happen and the results are often disastrous. We have poor data with which we interpret and then make poor decisions. Garbage in, garbage out — more crazy decision making.
Assumption is the fuel of the negative narrative way of thinking. It is based primarily on guesswork. We all know what assumption means! When we assume that we know all about others and how their circumstances “seem,” we are on shaky ground.
This practice based in narrative negativity will result often in a life cut off and sequestered from others. This bitter “Lone Ranger Mentality” rules the day in many leaders, cultures and businesses. This kind of leadership is frightening. One thinks of Hitler or other autocratic leaders and shudders at the thought of this thinking drawn out to its logical and frightening conclusion.
So, what are the solutions? How can you and I prevent or redress becoming a “Debbie Downer”?
1. Have openness about life, people and relationships. Know that we have little or no control over others. We have incomplete information about others and no real way to know it all. What we really need is a new narration — the ability to be open and not get into the temptation to tell a story about others when we really don’t know all the facts. How can we possibly know the whole story about someone or the situation or how they got “there”? Be all about getting good, solid facts first!
2. Be a person of possibility. This starts with believing the human condition can improve, learn and evolve. We can learn to grow and actualize and enlighten personally, spiritually and mentally. This is not an easy task — but we actually can get better! We can learn, grow and leverage our strengths and weaknesses! Give others the benefit of the doubt. Stop the temptation to be the judge and jury. Trust some folks and their good intent. Take wise risks in believing in people. You’ll be surprised how trusting someone can really result in some positive outcomes and benefits. People thrive in a culture and atmosphere of genuine trust. Trust me!
3. Have trusted advisors. Stay close and value people in your life who are not afraid to push back when you begin your negative narration. Have business and personal friends who will challenge your dominant paradigm. Give someone the freedom to ask you hard questions and question your judgment and way of seeing things. This relationship will take time and trust.
4. Catch yourself. When you begin to mentally “go” negative — notice it and stop it. Get into the habit of stopping your own negativity and replace it with something more positive! Tell a new story or simply resist the tendency to tell any narrative at all. Be in the moment with people and be free to just experience them as they are. This truth can open the door to unknown and limitless possibility in life, business and community. Now go and re-tell your story today.
Scott Hammond works at Suddenlink Media and lives in McKinleyville with wife Joni and 5 of their 9 kids. His blog is www.BecomeaBetterFather.com and www.EveryDayDad.org and can be reached @ email@example.com.
Your Narrative—In Business and Life
“Assumption the Mother of all Screw ups.”
– Line in the movie “Under Siege 2—Dark Territory”
Everyone has a narrative in their life. It’s how we explain life, people, business, relationships, and more. It’s the story we tell ourselves about others–their motivation and attitude–it’s our way of explaining how people, business, and life operate.
The problem with our negative narratives is that we’re often dead wrong in the way we perceive people, organizations, and circumstances. This could not be truer than in business and the marketplace. In business, it is imperative we be accurate in our assessment of reality.
Often, the narratives we tell ourselves in life and business are most often incorrect and incomplete.
Relate this to customers, stake holders, competition and the marketplace at large–with this wrong “reading” of we end up misjudging, miscalculating, and completely misunderstanding an entire situation– possibly even an entire relationship. The fundamental problem with our own “self-narration” is that it often leads to poor action, responses, and results. This can lead to loss, bankruptcy, broken relationships and companies—not to mention business competitiveness.
Negative business narration has two directions it can go.
Internal negative narrative—this type of negative business narrative tends toward our own self-justification and judgment of other’s internal drives. This is where we find it easy to presume we know the inner workings of other’s motivations, attitudes, and how they think. Here, we find it easy to vilify others and justify ourselves. This is a narrative in which we can never see ourselves as wrong. When we vilify others we excuse ourselves. The phrase that is used is “excuse and accuse”. When we excuse ourselves and accuse others, we have no grounds for personal responsibility. Poor decisions are made when our internal narration of others runs askew. We are on shaky ground when we presume to judge the motivation and intention of others.
External negative narrative is where we read just the external circumstances and draw our (often incorrect) conclusions. This is based on what we can perceive only externally. Here, mistakes in good judgment happen and the results are usually disastrous. We have poor information which leads to bad interpretation and then we make poor decisions. When we have bad data we make bad decisions leading to poor outcomes. Enough said: Garbage in=Garbage out.
Assumption is the fuel of the negative narrative paradigm. It is based primarily on guess work. We all know what assumption means! When we assume and presume that we know more about others and how their circumstances “seem”–we are on shaky ground.
This assumption and vilification based in narrative negativity will result often in a life cut off and sequestered from others. This bitter “Lone Ranger Mentality” rules the day in many leaders, cultures, and managers. This kind of leadership is, frankly, frightening. One thinks of Hitler and others in history and shudders at the thought of the negative narrative drawn out to its logical and frightening conclusion.
So, what are the solutions?
1. Have openness about life, people, and relationships –Know that we have little or no control over others. We have, at best, incomplete information about others and no real way to know it all. What we really need is a new narration–the ability to be open and not get into the temptation to tell a story about others when we really don’t know all the facts. How can we possibly know the whole story about someone or the situation or how they got “there”? Be all about getting good, solid facts first!
2. Be a Person of Possibility– this starts with believing the human condition can improve, learn and evolve. We can learn to grow and actualize and enlighten personally, spiritually, and mentally. This is not an easy task—but we actually can get better! We can learn, grow, and leverage our strengths and weaknesses! Give others the benefit of the doubt. Stop the temptation to be judge and jury—give others the benefit of the doubt. Trust some folks and their good intent. Take (wise) risks in believing in people. You’ll be surprised how trusting someone can really result in some positive outcome and benefits. People thrive in a culture and atmosphere of genuine trust. Trust me…!
3. Have Trusted Advisors—Stay close and value people in your life who are not afraid to push back when you begin negative narration. Have business friends who will challenge your dominant paradigm. Give them freedom to ask you hard questions and to question your judgment and ways of seeing things. This relationship takes time, trust, and relationship building.
4. Catch yourself. When you begin to mentally “go” negative—notice it and stop it. Get into the habit of stopping your own negativity and replace it with something more positive! Tell a new story or simply resist the tendency to tell any narrative at all. Be in the moment with people and be free to just experience them as they are. This truth can open the door to unknown and limitless possibility in life, business, and culture. Now go and re-tell your story today….
“80% of life is showing up.”
I was sitting with my friend at a recent networking meeting. As I was speaking to her, I realized how far she’s come in learning how to network, speak, and connect with people. She had developed her people skills and had really become rather professionally transformed. She had “bloomed” and come in to her own. She came from being a “wallflower” to become a gnarly networker–in a short period of time.
Let’s explore about how folks like you and I can become great networkers, speakers, marketers, and communicators. How do people go from good to great—often in short order? I have seen many people come into “bloom” and come to connect to their own experiences, gifts, and skills in their midlife. Many folks actually come into their “professional prime” rather late in midlife. Their talents were always there—just latent and waiting for the right conditions. It’s amazing to see others come into their own as they exercise their gifts, experiences, and talents to communicate freely with others. They basically find their “voice” and a new ability to joyfully participate in (professional and business) life. They bloom.
An example of this is my friend, referenced earlier, who was rather shy. Her background was not in business and she had very little business acumen. With application and time and work– she became a very proficient networker, speaker, and communicator. She had really “bloomed”. She applied herself and went out into the world and made herself learn to deal with, relate to, and even love people and become a proficient speaker, marketer, and “gnarly networker”. She is now rather fearless when it comes to groups, meetings, and even direct selling.
This “blooming” is much like akin to a flower; in their infancy they are small buds. Flowers, like folks, when they’re given their correct growing conditions, they bloom—often magnificently. When the rosebud is small and insignificant it has very little beauty and no scent. They’re actually thorny and not much fun to deal with. When it’s given the opportunity to develop, a rose in full bloom is the pinnacle of God’s creation. They’re lovely, smell great, and beautify any landscape or room. In like manner, when people encounter a midlife “bloom” –they often beautify the world with their gifts and “fragrance.” They may even smell and look better!
We actually have the ability to set the stage for our own professional and personal growth. We can set it up to bloom professionally and more brilliantly. With fertilization, light, correct nutrients and with the right location– a flower– or a person– can be magnificent in short order. Kind of like my friend–she put herself in a position to grow personally and saw the results rather quickly. In the same way, you and I can set the stage for growth. Know what you want. Show up. Be present. Help others. Serve. Be kind…
A lot of blooming is being exposed-being in the light. Being out there and exposed to the elements and to the nutrients needed to develop our “inner bloom.” We can actually grow quickly and more profoundly if we do it with intentionality. What is it take to be intentional? It takes a goal and focus and execution. It takes time management– it takes work and effort. Much of it is simply showing up and being relational. Zig Ziglar says it well—“You must circulate to percolate.”
Much of life is figuring out what it means to come into our own. How do you develop those in to your gifts and other skill sets that lie dormant in your life? Part of the answer lies in your DESIRE to grow and to expand and learn. Come out of your comfort zone. If you’re willing, then sometimes the execution of the necessary effort becomes rather easy. It’s often at that point that we can grow and come into our own and become of use to others.
This notion of being of use to others is the primary motivation. How can you and I be of use to our family, our community, and our world? The answer is coming to your own and finding the next level of “best”, going from good to great and then “blooming.” Be willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary and let nothing hold you back from becoming all you can be. Come into your own today. We have been waiting for you a long time. Be like that flower that comes out of the bud phase of their life into full fruition. This fruition gives life, color, smell, and sensory benefit all that experience it. Be that open flower today. Go out and set the stage then bloom in all your brilliance and glory!
Tools of a Gnarly Networker
|Dale Carnegie who wrote the book, “How to win friends and influence people” shared how he won a major sale by making himself memorable in a positive way. While sitting at dinner he started talking with a gentleman at his table. The man at his table spoke for four hours while only allowing Dale Carnegie the opportunity to speak for only about two minutes. After four hours the man stated to everyone, “Dale Carnegie is the best conversationalist I’ve ever met”. By being an active listener Dale Carnegie was not only portrayed as a great conversationalist, but the man instantly took a liking to Dale Carnegie. Since Dale was interested in him he was interested in Dale and later he provided Dale Carnegie with a great sales opportunity.By following the guidelines below, you’ll stand out in the crowd and make yourself more memorable to everyone you meet.
- Introduce yourself to others. No matter where you are act like you’re the host. Be the first to say hello.
- Make an extra effort to remember people’s names. As Dale Carnegie says, “the sweetest sound to a person is their name.”
- Use eye contact and smile upon meeting someone. The best way to build rapport is through eye contact.
- Make everyone feel important by paying full attention to him or her. Former President Clinton is a master of this. When you talk to him, he makes you feel like you are the only person in the room.
- Show others that you are enjoying your conversation with them. Don’t yawn, look bored or have a case of roving eyes.
- Show curiosity and interest in others.
- Listen, Listen, Listen. You not only become more likeable, but you really start to understand the persons wants, needs and desires.
- Be enthusiastic about things and life to others. People will gravitate to those upbeat, positive and cheerful people.
- Display your sense of humor. People remember humor six times longer than regular conversation.
- Be able to speak on a variety of subjects. Keep abreast of current events.
- Speak concisely. Be able to tell people what you do in a few short sentences.
- Speak their language. Talk in terms of their communication style. For example, if someone just wants the facts, don’t go into a lot of stories and anecdotes.
- Be tolerant of peoples beliefs if they are different from yours
- Invite people to join you for lunch, dinner and other social events
- Ask them for their opinions
- Don’t interrupt
- Have positive body language. Use the SOFTEN technique. S=smile, O=open posture, F=forward lean, T=stay out of their territory, E=eye contact, N=nod to show understanding.
- Be yourself. Enjoy the conversation
- Give them more than they expect. In other words, underpromise and overdeliver.
- Compliment others about what they are wearing, doing, or saying, but be sincere.
See Article link on “How to Avoid Connection Crushers”
“If you’re in business for just the money—you’re about half paid.”
R.L. Hammond (1921-2004)
My dad was an insurance agent in San Diego County in the 1970-80’s. He lived a life of serving others and his country in WWII. He taught and tutored me in much of what I know and do in business today.
The following practices/ideas of his are sure to ratchet up your business acumen:
- BE KIND TO EVERYONE—“It doesn’t cost anything to show kindness to others, Scott,” he would say. Be nice. Play nice. A smile and a small kindness go a long way.
- HAVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE/SHAKE HANDS AND GREET PEOPLE- People love to feel important (because they are!). An appropriate handshake and a greeting really affirm others and establishes rapport-quickly. Give the gift of appropriate touch.
- TELL GREAT STORIES—People live in stories…We all relate to a good tale and learn more from a compelling story than a lecture. Stories bring relevance to our topic and to our relationships.
- BE A GOOD LISTENER—This tells people you affirm them and value them. Empathy is a powerful relationship builder and establishes credibility, reliability, and shows you really care.
- BE AN ABOVE AVERAGE SPEAKER—Learn the art of public speaking. Good speakers know how and what to communicate and when. You can learn to speak well if you apply yourself to the disciplines and use the tools available to you. “Go to a Toastmaster Meeting”, he would tell me.
- HAVE AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR—Laugh sometimes. Have fun with people and stop the somberness that permeates some business cultures. Be appropriately playful with people who like to play and laugh, and cultivate the ability to really laugh at life.
- DEVELOP LIFELONG RELATIONSHIPS—Be the person who reaches out and calls and takes the initiative in your relationships. Be that person who spends the time and effort to get to know and serve others. Givers really do gain!
- GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT…FREELY—Be that person who can freely affirm, encourage, and genuinely build others up in a truly authentic fashion. Heck—tell those you love how you feel.
- BE A GIVER—Share your life, world, resources, experiences, gifts, and time as freely as you feel able and willing. Be that person who “walks the talk” in your actions and your words. Give to others expecting nothing in return—you will be blessed.
- BE SPECTACULAR ON THE PHONE—Learn to use the phone like no one else. Make purposeful and powerful calls that build rapport and relationship. Learn to network using the phone to make great calls and reach out to those you hope to build alliances with. Know how to relate to people via the phone on a regular basis.
10.5. BE YOU—Just be yourself not a second rate version of someone else. Trust yourself, be yourself and others will resonate with the “authentic you”. There is only one of YOU—be the best you possible and you will succeed in life, business, and awesome relationships!
R. L. Hammond
To know is to love…
As you learn more about who your children are and how they have been designed–how they are wired…
Let them know and discover more about yourself as well. Let them in on YOU.
Disclosure and being real and open as a parent is key to developing a healthy relationship with your kids–for a lifetime.
Can you keep it “real”?…or do you tend to put on a “parenting self”… as you deal with your kids.
My twenty-something kids call this being “Legit”.
Children can smell a fake a mile away—do the know you, like you, and trust you?
Only then you can have a great relationship!
Have the goal of no one in your family being afraid of another family member.
Let patience, kindness, love and the willingness (courage) to trust and be trusted as you move forward as a family.
Authenticity is the key—can you be real and keep to the role of a great parent…Yup!
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )
People often ask:” How do you get involved and know so many people locally?”
Short answer: relationships via networking and involvement.
How do you and I make the time in a world in short supply of it?
Show up. Get involved. Be present.
You can make the time and make people your priority. It does not take gobs of time- Just a commitment to involvement in something and some people you believe in–something you know makes a difference.
Some key points to really consider:
- Consider as you look into community involvement: What is a fit both in time and mission?
- What does this association bring to you and the community?
- What do YOU bring to the group?
- Can you support the vision, mission, and the goals of the association you are considering?
- What is your motivation? Give or take or both? Business or just friendship or both?
I have some suggestions for your networking consideration here in Humboldt County. It usually costs nothing to visit and each association will likely be delighted to meet and get to know you. This list is just my take—not exhaustive by any means.
- Local Chamber of Commerce (Google your local Chamber)
You can choose from most local towns: Eureka, Arcata, Fortuna, or McKinleyville. Each would love to meet and network with you at their monthly mixers. Great opportunity—size matters here. Your local Chamber is a great place to start your “networking quest.”
- B.N.I.—Business Networking International (bni.com)
This is your great opportunity to specifically network with others in business for the express purpose of getting and giving business referrals. There are 3 local chapters and they are all very friendly to new and potential visitor/members.
- Service Clubs—Rotary, Kiwanis’s, Soroptimist, etc… (Google and you will find your choice)
Local service clubs are a terrific way to get linked in to the local culture and make a positive difference in the community. Each has its own flavor, culture, and mission to the community. Again, visit around to find the best match for you in terms of meeting time, general fit and culture.
- “Mastermind” Groups—several in the County (Google your search—it really works!)
These groups vary, but the common thread is always some focus on mutual encouragement and support in attainment of your personal and business goals. Each has its own focus and area of expertise and all differ in their culture and leadership. This is a great network to get personal attention and 1 to 1 help. These usually cost more than other networks and for good reason.
- Clubs, Associations, Lodges, etc…(Google is your friend—use it)
Locate and find the involvement via local clubs of your choice. Elks, Odd Fellows, Grangers, Moose Lodges, are just a few you can choose from. Humboldt County has a lot of these.
- Toastmasters—3 chapters locally (toastmasters.org)
There are many associations designed for self-help—few do it as well as Toastmasters. Although, not a networking venue, Toastmasters helps folks ramp up their business acumen and thereby their networking skills. This is a personal favorite. You actually do meet many fascinating people along the way!
Want to network and get your local relationships ramped up? Show up. Get involved. Be present.
There is no better way than to plug into an appropriate local group, association, or club of choice. You will find not only will you grow, but you will be a key in influencing others to personal development.
The key is when/where/ and how you will choose to be involved. If you delay, we will all be lesser for your absence. Take action today—get on Google and make some calls and show up—You’ll be glad you did…so will your communities!
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