YOUR NARRATIVE IN BUSINESS AND LIFE

Your Narrative—In Business and Life

“Assumption the Mother of all Screw ups.”

– Line in the movie “Under Siege 2—Dark Territory”

Everyone has a narrative in their life. It’s how we explain life, people, business, relationships, and more. It’s the story we tell ourselves about others–their motivation and attitude–it’s our way of explaining how people, business, and life operate.

The problem with our negative narratives is that we’re often dead wrong in the way we perceive people, organizations, and circumstances. This could not be truer than in business and the marketplace. In business, it is imperative we be accurate in our assessment of reality.

Often, the narratives we tell ourselves in life and business are most often incorrect and incomplete. 

Relate this to customers, stake holders, competition and the marketplace at large–with this wrong “reading” of we end up misjudging, miscalculating, and completely misunderstanding an entire situation– possibly even an entire relationship. The fundamental problem with our own “self-narration” is that it often leads to poor action, responses, and results. This can lead to loss, bankruptcy, broken relationships and companies—not to mention business competitiveness.

Negative business narration has two directions it can go.

Internal negative narrative—this type of negative business narrative tends toward our own self-justification and judgment of other’s internal drives. This is where we find it easy to presume we know the inner workings of other’s motivations, attitudes, and how they think.  Here, we find it easy to vilify others and justify ourselves. This is a narrative in which we can never see ourselves as wrong. When we vilify others we excuse ourselves. The phrase that is used is “excuse and accuse”.  When we excuse ourselves and accuse others, we have no grounds for personal responsibility.  Poor decisions are made when our internal narration of others runs askew. We are on shaky ground when we presume to judge the motivation and intention of others.

External negative narrative is where we read just the external circumstances and draw our (often incorrect) conclusions. This is based on what we can perceive only externally.  Here, mistakes in good judgment happen and the results are usually disastrous. We have poor information which leads to bad interpretation and then we make poor decisions. When we have bad data we make bad decisions leading to poor outcomes. Enough said: Garbage in=Garbage out.

Assumption is the fuel of the negative narrative paradigm. It is based primarily on guess work. We all know what assumption means! When we assume and presume that we know more about others and how their circumstances “seem”–we are on shaky ground.

This assumption and vilification based in narrative negativity will result often in a life cut off and sequestered from others. This bitter “Lone Ranger Mentality” rules the day in many leaders, cultures, and managers. This kind of leadership is, frankly, frightening. One thinks of Hitler and others in history and shudders at the thought of the negative narrative drawn out to its logical and frightening conclusion.

So, what are the solutions?

1. Have openness about life, people, and relationships –Know that we have little or no control over others. We have, at best, incomplete information about others and no real way to know it all. What we really need is a new narration–the ability to be open and not get into the temptation to tell a story about others when we really don’t know all the facts.  How can we possibly know the whole story about someone or the situation or how they got “there”?  Be all about getting good, solid facts first!

2. Be a Person of Possibility–   this starts with believing the human condition can improve, learn and evolve. We can learn to grow and actualize and enlighten personally, spiritually, and mentally. This is not an easy task—but we actually can get better! We can learn, grow, and leverage our strengths and weaknesses! Give others the benefit of the doubt. Stop the temptation to be judge and jury—give others the benefit of the doubt. Trust some folks and their good intent. Take (wise) risks in believing in people. You’ll be surprised how trusting someone can really result in some positive outcome and benefits. People thrive in a culture and atmosphere of genuine trust.  Trust me…!

3. Have Trusted Advisors—Stay close and value people in your life who are not afraid to push back when you begin negative narration. Have business friends who will challenge your dominant paradigm.  Give them freedom to ask you hard questions and to question your judgment and ways of seeing things. This relationship takes time, trust, and relationship building.

4. Catch yourself. When you begin to mentally “go” negative—notice it and stop it. Get into the habit of stopping your own negativity and replace it with something more positive! Tell a new story or simply resist the tendency to tell any narrative at all. Be in the moment with people and be free to just experience them as they are.  This truth can open the door to unknown and limitless possibility in life, business, and culture.  Now go and re-tell your story today….

 

 

FROM WALL-FLOWER TO FULL BLOOM—The secrets of Becoming a Gnarly Networker

“80% of life is showing up.”

–Woody Allen

I was sitting with my friend at a recent networking meeting. As I was speaking to her, I realized how far she’s come in learning how to network, speak, and connect with people. She had developed her people skills and had really become rather professionally transformed. She had “bloomed” and come in to her own. She came from being a “wallflower” to become a gnarly networker–in a short period of time.

Let’s explore about how folks like you and I can become great networkers, speakers, marketers, and communicators. How do people go from good to great—often in short order? I have seen many people come into “bloom” and come to connect to their own experiences, gifts, and skills in their midlife. Many folks actually come into their “professional prime” rather late in midlife. Their talents were always there—just latent and waiting for the right conditions.  It’s amazing to see others come into their own as they exercise their gifts, experiences, and talents to communicate freely with others. They basically find their “voice” and a new ability to joyfully participate in (professional and business) life. They bloom.

An example of this is my friend, referenced earlier, who was rather shy. Her background was not in business and she had very little business acumen. With application and time and work– she became a very proficient networker, speaker, and communicator. She had really “bloomed”. She applied herself and went out into the world and made herself learn to deal with, relate to, and even love people and become a proficient speaker, marketer, and “gnarly networker”. She is now rather fearless when it comes to groups, meetings, and even direct selling.

This “blooming” is much like akin to a flower; in their infancy they are small buds.  Flowers, like folks, when they’re given their correct growing conditions, they bloom—often magnificently. When the rosebud is small and insignificant it has very little beauty and no scent. They’re actually thorny and not much fun to deal with. When it’s given the opportunity to develop, a rose in full bloom is the pinnacle of God’s creation. They’re lovely, smell great, and beautify any landscape or room. In like manner, when people encounter a midlife “bloom” –they often beautify the world with their gifts and “fragrance.” They may even smell and look better!

We actually have the ability to set the stage for our own professional and personal growth. We can set it up to bloom professionally and more brilliantly. With fertilization, light, correct nutrients and with the right location– a flower– or a person– can be magnificent in short order. Kind of like my friend–she put herself in a position to grow personally and saw the results rather quickly. In the same way, you and I can set the stage for growth. Know what you want. Show up. Be present. Help others. Serve. Be kind…

A lot of blooming is being exposed-being in the light. Being out there and exposed to the elements and to the nutrients needed to develop our “inner bloom.” We can actually grow quickly and more profoundly if we do it with intentionality. What is it take to be intentional? It takes a goal and focus and execution. It takes time management– it takes work and effort. Much of it is simply showing up and being relational.  Zig Ziglar says it well—“You must circulate to percolate.”

 Much of life is figuring out what it means to come into our own. How do you develop those in to your gifts and other skill sets that lie dormant in your life?  Part of the answer lies in your DESIRE to grow and to expand and learn. Come out of your comfort zone. If you’re willing, then sometimes the execution of the necessary effort becomes rather easy. It’s often at that point that we can grow and come into our own and become of use to others.

This notion of being of use to others is the primary motivation. How can you and I be of use to our family, our community, and our world?  The answer is coming to your own and finding the next level of “best”, going from good to great and then “blooming.”  Be willing to pay the price and do what’s necessary and let nothing hold you back from becoming all you can be. Come into your own today. We have been waiting for you a long time. Be like that flower that comes out of the bud phase of their life into full fruition. This fruition gives life, color, smell, and sensory benefit all that experience it. Be that open flower today. Go out and set the stage then bloom in all your brilliance and glory!

 

 

 

Tools of a Gnarly Networker

NETWORKING FOR THE EVERYDAY PERSON–6 keys to networking naturally.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen
US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – )

People often ask:” How do you get involved and know so many people locally?”

Short answer: relationships via networking and involvement.

How do you and I make the time in a world in short supply of it?

Show up. Get involved. Be present.

You can make the time and make people your priority. It does not take gobs of time- Just a commitment to involvement in something and some people you believe in–something you know makes a difference.

Some key points to really consider:

• Consider as you look into community involvement: What is a fit both in time and mission?
• What does this association bring to you and the community?
• What do YOU bring to the group?
• Can you support the vision, mission, and the goals of the association you are considering?
• What is your motivation? Give or take or both? Business or just friendship or both?

I have some suggestions for your networking consideration here in Humboldt County. It usually costs nothing to visit and each association will likely be delighted to meet and get to know you.  This list is just my take—not exhaustive by any means.

1. Local Chamber of Commerce (Google your local Chamber)

You can choose from most local towns: Eureka, Arcata, Fortuna, or McKinleyville. Each would love to meet and network with you at their monthly mixers. Great opportunity—size matters here. Your local Chamber is a great place to start your “networking quest.”

 

1. B.N.I.—Business Networking International (bni.com)

This is your great opportunity to specifically network with others in business for the express purpose of getting and giving business referrals. There are 3 local chapters and they are all very friendly to new and potential visitor/members.

 

1. Service Clubs—Rotary, Kiwanis’s, Soroptimist, etc… (Google and you will find your choice)

Local service clubs are a terrific way to get linked in to the local culture and make a positive difference in the community.  Each has its own flavor, culture, and mission to the community. Again, visit around to find the best match for you in terms of meeting time, general fit and culture.

 

1. “Mastermind” Groups—several in the County (Google your search—it really works!)

These groups vary, but the common thread is always some focus on mutual encouragement and support in attainment of your personal and business goals. Each has its own focus and area of expertise and all differ in their culture and leadership.  This is a great network to get personal attention and 1 to 1 help. These usually cost more than other networks and for good reason.

 

1. Clubs, Associations, Lodges, etc…(Google is your friend—use it)

Locate and find the involvement via local clubs of your choice. Elks, Odd Fellows, Grangers, Moose Lodges, are just a few you can choose from. Humboldt County has a lot of these.

 

1. Toastmasters—3 chapters locally (toastmasters.org)

There are many associations designed for self-help—few do it as well as Toastmasters. Although, not a networking venue, Toastmasters helps folks ramp up their business acumen and thereby their networking skills. This is a personal favorite. You actually do meet many fascinating people along the way!

 

Want to network and get your local relationships ramped up?  Show up. Get involved. Be present.

There is no better way than to plug into an appropriate local group, association, or club of choice. You will find not only will you grow, but you will be a key in influencing others to personal development.

The key is when/where/ and how you will choose to be involved. If you delay, we will all be lesser for your absence.  Take action today—get on Google and make some calls and show up—You’ll be glad you did…so will your communities!

 

 

 

 

 

 

KNOW, LIKE, TRUST AND BUY YOU…………..?

Know you, Like you, Trust you, Buy you?

Leaving a Legacy in Business

LEAVING YOUR BUSINESS LEGACY IN 5 EASY STEPS— 

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what   happened.

-   Mary Kay Ash

What will they say at your memorial? What would you want them to say?
THAT will be your legacy and it will be too late to start working on your life of significance at your memorial. You can begin TODAY to      work toward a “Business and life legacy” and really make a positive difference!
How do you leave a legacy of positive business leadership? Who doesn’t want to leave a positive legacy? Leadership and legacy means    being PROACTIVE…Take the lead and be the instigator!

Think about your personal leadership… See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture and then begin to live as though your life makes a real difference—because it does! Living a life aware of leaving a business legacy can help you be more intentional and show your quality.

TRUE STORY
I worked for Ron Pileggi for 20 years at the local Tri City Weekly and he exemplified a business leader who left an awesome business and life legacy. Ron always made life about RELATIONSHIPS. He modeled how to really care about and serve others with his staff, customers, community and in his industry.
Staff- Ron modeled “servant-leadership” in that he really helped his staff wherever possible. He showed a boss who was involved on a personal level and really loved his staff by showing it in his actions.
Customers—Ron went the extra mile to really serve and meet needs of his customers. He even would give it away if it meant helping a fellow businessperson get back on their marketing feet.
Community-Ron was an example of a guy trying to make a positive difference in our community. Whether it was serving in Rotary, helping various non-profits, or just showing up at events, Ron was present and a servant of all.
Industry—As an industry pioneer and leader, Ron shared expertise in the Free Paper Industry of America freely. Not only was his publication multiple award winning over years, he gladly shared his trade success secrets with fellow entrepreneurs.

Ron left an amazing legacy across the board—Staff, Customers, Community and Industry. He intentionally modeled ‘servant-leadership” in the roles he served.

Here are 5 Easy “Knows” to a Great Life and Business Legacy:

1. Know Legacy–Understand and Know what a Legacy is–Begin to study what a legacy is and how we are all leaving behind something” in our lives we will be remembered for. Study the lives of those who you know have made a positive difference in their world.

2. Know Thyself–Begin to look at your life and what you are leaving behind and what you are now known for. What is it that people remember about you and your life? Be honest! Ask safe people who will give it to you straight and without apology. It is about what others know about you vs. how you perceive yourself. You may be really surprised …

3. Know Thy Legacy–Pick and focus on one aspect of your life that yields positive results and influences others in a significant way–Find your message, media, and platform and go to work leaving behind something meaningful to others. Live your life of significance with intention.

4. Know Thy Audience–Who listens when you talk? Who picks up when you “throw down”? Who are your peeps and those who love you? These are the ones ripe for receiving your legacy message.

5. Know Thy Media–Begin to find and understand your most comfortable platform and medium for delivering your legacy message. This can be written, spoken, crafted, or lived out loud in some way. Most folks begin with some writing or speaking—the written and spoken word has tons of possibility when leaving your life of significance. Blogging, public speaking, or writing your book all have potential for great legacy tools. All legacy begins with being a good communicator—be one!

It is time for us to get busy and become more intentional about leaving behind a life of business legacy and living with and on purpose. Each of us has a limited number of days on Earth (Grandpa Tom says, “No one gets out of here alive!”) and we need to be purposeful in how we live. Know legacy, yourself, your own legacy, your platform and your audience and you will begin to make a positive difference and leave an awesome legacy!

Life and business will have more meaning and so will you! Start living your legacy today—we’ll be glad you did.

TIME MANAGEMENT AND THE 80/20 RULE

Time management—

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time.  Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life.  Show me what you do with your time and I’ll show you what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on core strength.  If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything.  Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time.  Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities.  Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible.  Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom.  The “work your plan” part has to do with time management.  Planning is great, but is useless without execution.  Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

Time management can be leveraged through productivity systems and good planning.

The 80-20 rule is evidence of this…. You accomplish about 80% of your results from 20% of your work.  The key here is to find your personal “prime time” then leverage that time in the most productive way possible.  To schedule around your 20% “prime time”, where you are most productive and efficient is the key to leveraging time, productivity, and accomplishment. For most people their prime time is in the morning.  This is the time to get all of your core work accomplished.  This key time is to be secured and set aside as the valuable commodity it truly is. Prime work time should be scheduled on a daily basis and should have compelling content at its core. Planning, goal setting, reviewing, communicating, executing initiatives, key meetings, key document creation, and much more are all the key elements of utilizing your prime time window.

Procrastination and its opposite  workaholism are both dysfunction to avoid.  Our society allows for both to its detriment.  It takes discipline and self control to avoid the dysfunction of workaholism and over commitment and the sickness and the result they produce. The same can be said of procrastination—we are to avoid it like the plague. It all starts with analysis and admission and truly owning our own poor habits.

The idea here is to have a balanced life. This begins with healthy relationships and healthy personal spirit.  Living your life in balance and alignment starts with living your priorities.  The piece and congruity that results is compelling.  A life lived well, living your priorities, and being able to have fun productivity that energizes you is a compelling work style/lifestyle.

The Covey idea of sharpening your saw and resting so you can work more efficiently is the key.  A life lived in balance with family, work, community, friendships, and personal fulfillment is truly a productive life.

It all starts at time management, personal discipline, and self-control.  Just do it.

Time management is—

The definition of Time management is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

Learning time management will do the following:

1. Give a personal definition of time management, and how you can use it
2. Help you know the signs that you’re off-track
3. Help you know the signs that you are on the right track
4. Help you know what your focus should be on

You know you’re on the right track when—

1. Your customers, boss, family and peers praise your accomplishments.
2. You meet your sales, personal, or family goals and have a positive performance
3. You are often considered for additional responsibility and special projects.
4. You feel good about your work and family and are energized by them.

You know you’re off-track, when—

1. You’re working really hard, and little is being accomplished
2. You’re not meeting your sales, personal, business, or family goals
3. People around you complain about you
4. You’re the only one who seems to think you’re doing a great job.
5. You’re always putting out fires
6. You’re spending a lot of his time socializing and complaining

Eight most common time wasters—

1. Lack of planning
2. Lack of priorities
3. Over commitment
4. Management by crisis
5. Haste
6. Paperwork and reading e-mail
7. Routine tasks
8. The telephone

How to combat procrastination—

1. Accept that procrastination is common, and that you are not unique
2. Fearing failure is absolutely normal… we often procrastinate because we fear failure
3. If you find you tend to procrastinate in certain situations… face them head on
4. Never choose low priority work in front of high priority work
5. Control your socializing at work
6. Schedule start time as well, as the finished time for your work being planned
7. Adopt single handling thinking. Touch it wants.  You’ll pick up one job only and only put it down when it’s finished. Multitasking is a myth…

We should focus on activities that—

1. Contribute to your customer,  family, stakeholders success and satisfaction
2. Booster personal productivity and performance
3. Support your family or organization’s strategic vision and goals

Time management tips—

1. Know and use your calendar or Daytimer
2. Prioritize demands on your time
3. Keep your priority list in front of you
4. Keep checking your progress with time management.
5. Stockpile work or questions, and to schedule says its time work on them.  Only work on things in your scheduled to do so.
6. Seek support when you need it— delegate
7. Develop techniques that help you when in a unique situation
8. Pick a morning or an evening to work when no one is around and get organized.  Order creates less stress and helps focus
9. Spend a few minutes at the end of the day putting everything in its home base and getting ready for the next day.  Remember… trash it, act on it, refer it, or file it away.

10.  Keep yourself motivated.

More tips for time management—

Making a commitment that you’ll measure time more efficiently to be the best promise you ever make to yourself.  In the long run, you’ll be glad you did.  Here are some tips that may help to some move your way to a little more time efficient life.  You may even find that after you get the hang of it, you’ll have more free time!!

1. Manage your availability— in which coworkers know when you are available to help them and when you’re not.
2. Learn to prioritize—one of the most important things you can do in your search for more time. Prioritize your commitments.  If you belong to any organizations that are turned into obligations, just give up your membership.  There is not enough time to spend on doing things which aren’t that important to you.
3. Make all your calls in the morning—this is when people are most likely to be available.  Then, block off the rest of your day on interrupted work.
4. Schedule time every week to take care of your filing—take time every week to get your filing done and keep up the organizing and purging of your files.  This will go a long way to help you stay on top of your job responsibility.  The get and stay organized.
5. Create an activity log—keep a detailed personal activity log for several days to determine how you’re actually using your time.  See where you’re spending too much and not enough time.
6. Control your busywork—it’s not always easy to admit that sometimes we allow ourselves to get immersed in busywork.  Focus on the job at hand and don’t let meaningless tasks consume your precious time.
7. Create a system for yourself—no one knows your schedule better than you do.  Incorporate simple and effective systems in your life that help you do what must be done on a daily basis so that you actually can get things accomplished.  Get a routine and form positive habits.
8. Don’t bite off more than you can chew—break up big projects into manageable pieces.  Divide your projects and concentrate on one part at a time. Gradual progress and growth is the best practice.
9. Never forced the finishing of a project, if it can be helped—there’s no point in force yourself to finish a job when you’re not making any headway.  Switch to another project in the new challenge will refresh and renew your mind so that you can return to the original job.   You will then feel ready to complete it.

10.  Plan ahead—this tip will eliminate the procrastination and ensure higher productivity.  Estimate how long a job will take.  Then at about one third more time.  Then count the number of days back from the deadline, and set that as your defining starting point…Hot tip!

11.  .Learn what is urgent, versus what is important—there is a tremendous difference.  Too often we respond to the urgent and forfeit the necessary.  In other words, things that demand our media attention usurp what is necessary.  By contrast, important tasks might not require an instant response, but they necessitate important activities that will keep you on track in achieving your goals. Be wary of the Tyranny of the Urgent!

12.  Under promise and over deliver—this is a very old axiom, but nonetheless very true.  Never promised too much; you’re more likely to disappoint people.  Instead, with all things, under promise and over deliver.  People will be pleasantly surprised when you’re done more than originally planned.

Five ways to improve productivity—

There is so much happening and less and less time to handle of all these days. Learning how to increase your productivity could give you the edge you need to get it all done.  The idea of getting it all done is nebulous at best.

Do we ever truly get it all done?

To think that we could have it completely whipped is a fallacy and a dangerous life paradigm.  Could you get at least some of it done?  It is possible…. here are a few ways and strategies that can increase your productivity:

1. Schedule your time for work—be consistent.  Don’t do personal things in your schedule to work.  Make it to do list and prioritize your tasks.  A list is often more effective for those of us need to consult a reference or see it in writing.  When you’ve completed a task, cross off your list.  You get a real sense of completion in satisfaction as you see your list getting shorter and shorter.
2. Do the most difficult, time-consuming, least favorite jobs first— do the first things first.  Do the hardest task at hand when you have the most energy and motivation to tackle the project.  If you tackle the toughest job first, the rest of your tasks will seem that much easier.
3. Do not allow yourself to get interrupted by other people’s emergencies or drama—be able to say No.  Learn to have boundaries.  Learn to say no and a polite but firm way.  Be professional, kind and understanding, but also be ready to use the most famous boundary word of them all: NO.
4. Organize your files—set up the system right from the beginning.  Don’t reinvent the wheel.  Use a Daytimer for scheduling. Have a 31 day and 12 month filing system. You can have technology, but don’t let technology have you. Do not reinvent the wheel.  An ordered space will allow you to be less stressed.
   1. Organize your workspace—the better organized and efficient your workspace, the more efficient you will be in time management.  The time it takes you to search through out all your piles of paper or to remember where you put that file could be spent in working on new projects.  Put the things you use most on your desktop and always put them back in the same place when you’re done.  Keep a file organizer on your desk for current projects, so they are always at your finger tips.  Have clearly delineated places for everything.

TIME MANAGEMENT MADE EASY–THE 80/20 RULE

Time management—

We all possess valuable resources, but none is trickier or more valuable than time.  Managing your time is THE key skill set in managing your life.  Show me what you do with your time and I’ll show you what your value system is all about. When leveraging time you will utilize and expand on your core strength.  If you can manage your time well you can accomplish almost anything.  Using time incrementally, methodically, and strategically will help you stay on track and achieve your life priorities.

Personal productivity is only as limited as your proper use of time.  Wise use of time maximizes and leverages all resources and helps you achieve your goals, objectives, and priorities.  Good time management allows you to plan ahead and to use your purpose and passion with laser focus—nothing becomes impossible.  Your productivity, as you leverage your passion through good time management, increases exponentially resulting in compelling accomplishment.

“Plan your work, then work your plan” is a great axiom.  The “work your plan” part has to do with time management.  Planning is great, but is useless without execution.  Time management is all about the execution of your plans, goals, passions, and objectives.

The 80-20 rule is evidence of this…. The Peitro Principle states this: You accomplish about 80% of your results from 20% of your work. 20% of any group or team usually contributes to 80% of the work; this 80/20 notion is a fixed law in business, church, family or any part of life.

The 80/20 principle as applied to your workday is to find your personal “prime time” then leverage that time in the most productive way possible.  96 minutes is 20% of an 8 hour day. To schedule around your 20% “prime time”, where you are most productive and efficient. This is the key to leveraging time, productivity, and accomplishment. For most people their prime time is in the morning.  This is the time to get all of your core work accomplished.  This key time is to be secured and set aside as the valuable commodity it truly is. Prime work time should be scheduled on a daily basis and should have compelling content at its core. Planning, goal setting, reviewing, communicating, executing initiatives, key meetings, key document creation, and much more are all the key elements of utilizing your prime time window.

In our daily Prime time we should focus on activities that—

1. Contribute to our customer,  family, stakeholders success and satisfaction
2. Booster personal productivity and performance
3. Support your family or organization’s strategic vision and goals

Time management tips—

1. Know and use your calendar or Daytimer
2. Prioritize demands on your time
3. Keep your priority list in front of you
4. Keep checking your progress with time management.
5. Stockpile work or questions, and to schedule says its time work on them.  Only work on things in your scheduled to do so.
6. Seek support when you need it— delegate
7. Develop techniques that help you when in a unique situation
8. Pick a morning or an evening to work when no one is around and get organized.  Order creates less stress and helps focus
9. Spend a few minutes at the end of the day putting everything in its home base and getting ready for the next day.  Remember… trash it, act on it, refer it, or file it away.

10.  Keep yourself motivated.

The idea here is to have a balanced life. This begins with healthy relationships and healthy personal spirit.  Living your life in balance and alignment starts with living your priorities.  The peace and congruity that results is compelling.  A life lived well by living your priorities and being able to have fun energizes you and gives a deep sense of satisfaction.

You know you’re on the right track when—

1. Your customers, boss, family and peers praise your accomplishments.
2. You meet your sales, personal, or family goals and have a positive performance
3. You are often considered for additional responsibility and special projects.
4. You feel good about your work and family and are energized by them.

The Covey idea of sharpening your saw and resting so you can work more efficiently is the key.  A life lived in balance with family, work, community, friendships, and personal fulfillment is truly a productive life.

It all starts at time management, personal discipline, and self-control.  Just do it.

Time management is—

The definition of Time management is a set of skills, tools, and systems that work together to help you get more value out of your time and leverage it to accomplish what you want.

SCOTT HAMMOND .

Scott’s New and Improved Narrative Bio

SCOTT HAMMOND—SCOTTPRESENTS.COM

1680 Prairie Hawke Court, McKinleyville, CA 95519 (707) 839-0774

http://www.BecomeaBetterFather.com, http://www.ScottPresents.com

Personal Philosophy and Work Focus

As founder and president of Scott Presents, a personal and organizational

development consulting firm, Scott pursues a whole person approach in sharing information

on communication skills, whole marketing, compelling relationship development, and easy –to- use productivity skill-sets. Scott’s inspirational approach promotes collaborative learning in an informal, compelling style and atmosphere.

The key elements of Scott’s personal philosophy are four- fold:

· Integration, blending the mind (thought), body (action) and soul (purpose).

· Empowerment, acknowledging and supporting the passion and gifts within us.

· Growth, providing the tools to co-create learning and growth opportunities.

· Relationship Development through compelling communication, marketing, and nurturing business and personal relationships.

At the core of Scott’s consulting, speaking and training firm is his passion for “digging deeper.”

Scott draws on easy to understand productivity training, speaking skills, parental expertise with 9 kids, and 30 years of real world marketing to provide tools for greater personal effectiveness, connection to purpose, and achievement of goals. His services focus on engaging all parts of the organization in clarifying shared vision and values, and in implementing those in everyday work and personal life.

Work Focus

Key consulting services include:

(1) building partnerships through easy to learn sales and marketing strategies

(2) organizational change and growth

(3) strategic visioning, goal setting and mission development

(4) personal branding through effective networking skills

(5) marketing and advertising consultation

(6) workshop, training and meeting design & facilitation

(7) collaborative problem solving

(8) coaching

These key services focus on helping public and private sector organizations, businesses, and

communities build strong leaders, teams and relationships among their partners. Partners learn to share responsibility for the successful outcome of the partnership.

Scott lives with his family in McKinleyville, California, and continues his lifelong quest to Be Here Now, enjoy rich relationships, and to make a positive difference by leaving a compelling legacy.

He has completed his book Mid-Life Renaissance and continues to pursue raising a family who carry on his positive legacy of care, compassion, and making a difference and to enjoy each day—One Day at A Time…

BECOME A PRO AT PUBLIC SPEAKING

THE 7 SECRETS OF EFFECTIVE FATHERS (Happy Fathers Day!)

Good Dad/ Bad Dad -The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathering

Can you name the three great examples of fathers in current culture?

You can’t say Bill Cosby or the guy on “Father Knows Best”!
Go ahead; we’re waiting….
Can’t seem to find just three?
How come?
Where have all the good dads gone?

Good fathers are an endangered species!

What is it with us guys?
Where did all the Great Dads go?
What’s up with the dads?

Dads are in trouble.
Everything assaults us-
Society, work, appetites, pressures, time management, and busyness.

We have no training, no schools, no workshops, few seminars, and no classes on how to be effective fathers. Moreover, as you’ve learned from the exercise above, we have very few examples from which to learn.

 

Men are great project managers in the workplace and at home, but most of us fail miserably when it comes to relationship building. Men tend to be great planners, movers, shakers, project managers, or people managers, but we are often poor at building in-depth relationships with those we love.

Men can be great builders; we have built amazing:

·       Civilizations

·       Countries

·       Societies

·       Communities

·       Cities

·       Towns

·       Neighborhoods

But when it comes to building relationships and running a family, men often fail miserably.

We can run a business and government, and even a society, but we are often poor at running a family.
Our family—wife, children, pets—often get the leftovers of our mind, body, emotions, and spirit at the end of the day.

 Why is that? Let me explain…

Here are a few of the reasons, the issues, problems, and challenges that men face and that undermine their desire to create and build relationships of quality with their families:

ü  No goals, objectives, or written plan to make family a priority

ü  Poor time management skills, being too busy, not making time for priorities

ü  Workaholism

ü  Perfectionism

ü  Poor skill sets with fathering

ü  Poor fathering examples

ü  Buying, owning, and maintaining too many possessions and “stuff”

And 1000 other distractions, including low priority activities such as:

·       Computer

·       TV

·       Gaming

·       Hobbies

·       Sports

·       Illicit activities

When “real men” get stuck, we never ask for directions!
How can we possibly admit weakness, vulnerability, or something as simple as being lost?

This all makes for a very sad situation.
Men are not picking and living their priorities.

So how do we guys have quality family relationships?
How do we spend quality, as well as quantity, time with those we love?
And how do we forge meaningful ties with our children- emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically- when our families often get our leftovers?

How do we do this, when we often return home from the workplace and the life outside the family truly drained and unable or unwilling to continue to give and pour out of our already-sapped resources? Many dads are truly lost, not even seeking a way back to being on track.

What is your Plan for being a Good Dad?

 

This is the two-dollar question, the dilemma, which we will address as we discover the

Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers.

 

Consider the Key Questions

Here are the key questions to ask yourself as a father as you develop your personal Fathering Plan:

1.    Who are you?

2.    What do you want?

3.    Why are you here?

4.    What isn’t working that you would like to see start working?

5.    What would you like to see stop happening?

The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers will help you to discover some of your answers.
We will uncover some ideas, tools, tips, and techniques to help you become more:

·       Intentional

·       Sequential

·       Methodical

·       Effective

You can become an awesome father, but you have to answer the above questions and then be resolute in taking action to move forward toward incremental progress as a father.
You can do it, but you’ve got to first dream it, plan it, and then do it.

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

 

Secret #1- Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is love that is absolute, unreserved, and complete.

 It’s love that is limitless, without strings, and not dependent upon the response of the recipient.

Unconditional love is really about your kids knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that they’re loved and accepted.

It’s saying, meaning, and living “I am truly on your side no matter what. I am for you. I am unconditionally on your side, always”.

Three action points to express unconditional love are:

 

·       Appropriate Touch

·       Positive eye contact

·       Focused attention

 

 

Let’s look at these love actions in more detail…

Appropriate touch is the most obvious way to show affection.
It is defined by any type of appropriate, natural, physical contact, not just hugs and kisses.

Appropriate touch should be:

·       Comfortable

·       Natural

·       Not showy or overdone

·       Consistent

It goes with eye contact and can be many things including:

·       A pat on the back

·       A gentle poke

·       Tousle of the hair

·       Rub on the shoulder

·       A light touch on the arm back neck or shoulder, again, all in an appropriate manner.

Kids who experience consistent, appropriate touch are more likely to:

1.    Have good self-esteem

2.    Be well-liked by others

3.    Have an easy time communicating

Young boys especially need it, as do girls growing up into their teens.
The father-daughter connection is vital, because if we fathers are not touching our daughters properly, there are plenty of volunteers to touch them inappropriately…

We dads need to be huggers and to get physical with our kids.
If you are a self proclaimed non-physical “non-hugger”, change!

Learn to be appropriately physical and learn the ability to show attention and affection
through physical touch.

 If you don’t pay attention to them, someone else will…probably not someone you would want.

It’s vital that we are intentional about showing our unconditional love through focused attention, positive eye contact, and appropriate touch. These three things can revolutionize and transform our relationships not only with our children, but with all those in our lives.

 

Eye contact means: “Looking directly into the eyes of another person.”

In our culture, it’s hard to have a conversation with someone who cannot hold eye contact.
It is a main source of emotional nurturing and is a continuous life-giving habit to our kids, if we will use it.

Eye contact is a close cousin to appropriate touch.  The two used together are a powerful means to connect with your children.

The results and benefits are:

·       Confidence

·       We tend to like people who look at us while we communicate

·       Eye contact adds meaning to conversation, as the eyes are the “windows to the soul”

One warning…

Never use eye contact or the lack thereof to make strong points, or when angry, irritated, annoyed, or frustrated, any of which are all part of being a parent.
The point is this-exclusive use of eye contact in anger is destructive, as is withholding eye contact.
Withholding eye contact is cruel and more damaging than corporal punishment and if you play that game, you and your children will lose.

If you, as a grown man, withhold eye contact as a form of punishment to anyone in your life, you may want to take a look at why and consider a change.

We do need to learn to confront in love, while maintaining positive eye contact.  When we need to have courageous conversations with our kids, we need to use eye contact as a life-giving source of affirmation, not as a means to tear down, belittle, withhold love, or demean.

We can and should use positive, affirming eye contact with all those around us on a regular, intentional, and habitual basis.

 

Focused attention is giving a person your full, undivided attention.

It is the most demanding of the three actions as it takes time, energy, and giving up other activities in order for us to give our focused attention to the people we love.

According to a 1996 Gallup Poll, the average father spends less than sixty minutes a day in some contact with his kids. What’s up with that?

How much time do you spend? Honestly?
We need to be able to give up the “tyranny of the urgent” and live in what Stephen Covey calls “quadrant number #4”, where we intentionally do things that are the most productive.
This should include giving our children our focused attention as fathers.

The benefit is your child feels completely loved and valued.
They feel they’re the most important person in the world.
Kids do their best with focused attention as part of their lives.
It shows in their behavior, performance, attitude, and motivation.

Focused attention must be a daily occurrence and we as dads need to make times to make that happen daily.

This requires being intentional. It might well require things like putting down the newspaper you were reading, in order to look at the bug your daughter caught.  It might mean staying up late, when you’d rather be in bed, to listen to your teen son pour out his frustrations of the day. It might mean giving up an evening out so you can read bedtime stories to your kids. It is a sacrifice of time and energies that pays big dividends.

Focused attention becomes paramount in priority…
It comes before everything else you do with or two your child, including

·       Training

·       Guiding

·       Teaching

·       Correcting

It is the key to unlocking the door to being a great dad.
It should always be natural, comfortable, appropriate, and unhurried.
It will result in a child who…

1.    Is comfortable with themselves and others

2.    Is well-liked

3.    Has a full “emotional tank”

4.    Has good self-esteem

5.    Is easier to communicate with

Are you giving your child emotional support through focused attention today?

Appropriate touch, positive eye contact, focused attention.

These are the languages of love when it comes to raising well-adjusted, healthy kids.
We fathers need to make these a daily occurrence. Did you know that, according to a recent poll, the average duration of contact between fathers and children is under two minutes daily? If we only spend two minutes a day with our children, how can we possibly convey our love through our actions?

We need to leverage these languages of love- to begin to not only speak them, but to be fluent in all three.   Which language does your child respond to best? Are you speaking that language to your children today?

If not, why not?

If not now, when?

If not you, who?

Secret #2-Respect Your Children

 

Respect is defined as “To care, esteem, regard, venerate, honor, or to revere.”
Respect is at the core of how all individuals would like to be treated and spoken to.
As fathers, we show it in our conversation, tone, actions, and kindness to our children.

We need not talk down to them as a smaller person who is weaker, vulnerable, or less valuable.
Our children need to know they are accepted and acceptable, just as they are.
They must know they are respected and honored by how they are treated in our:

·       Actions

·       Attitudes

·       Words

·       Our non-verbal behaviors/signals

Here’s the test… would you speak to or treat a peer in the same manner you do your kids?
Do you:

1.    Talk down to them?

2.    Berate them?

3.    Raise your voice or yell at them?

4.    Display disgust in your tone or body language?

5.    Show inappropriate anger and frustration and annoyance?

So if you would not treat another adult in this like manner, why would you address your kids, whom you love as much or more, with such disrespect and dishonor?
It seems that many parents think its okay to not treat their kids with love and respect and to address them in an inappropriate and dishonoring fashion.

That’s not to say that when correcting or having courageous conversations with our kids, we can’t show frustration, appropriate anger, or annoyance at their immaturity or misbehavior. Rather, it’s doing so in a manner that still protects the child’s dignity. It’s The Golden Rule—treat others as you would be treated.

Does your child really feel accepted and acceptable?
Respected and honored?
How would your kids respond differently to you if you consistently addressed them with appropriate respect and honor?
Begin to show respect in your conversation, actions, tone, and body language, and you will see a transformation, both in yourself and your children!

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

 

 

Secret #3-Time = Love.

Some fathers spend more time with their kids in one day than some do in one week, or even one month!!

What’s the difference?

Intentionality.

Time spent with your child shows your love by action.
We need both quality and quantity time with our kids.
We need to include them in our world, and include ourselves in their world.

Here are some examples of what I do with my kids. These are areas where we’ve found common ground to play together:

1.    Hot-tubbing

2.    Trampoline jumping

3.    Swinging

4.    Basketball

5.    Playing Legos and Matchbox cars

6.    Playing board games

7.    Doing crafts

You get the picture find common ground and leverage the time with your kids.
You must be intentional and methodical and sequential if you are to be successful in this endeavor of spending quality time with your kids. This means:

1.    Date your kids…Go to Starbucks, the bakery or bagel store, McDonald’s, ice cream parlor, or whatever.

2.    Put them in your day timer or in Outlook.

3.    Schedule them as you would your most precious appointment… because that’s what they are.

Have daily and weekly scheduled routines together, including:

·       Meal times… the best place to teach your kids your values, heritage, and spiritual foundation.

·       Bedtimes… a key point in showing love, closing the day gently, and praying together.

·       Weekly rituals… Friday night pizza, movie night, the family night etc

·       Running errands… always bring a kid with you on car rides. Again, leverage the time.

·       Chores and projects… build relationships and teach a good work ethic, all in one package!

Let’s address the “I don’t have time” excuse.
Everyone has time, no exceptions.

We give time to what we value the most….
Create time today that you would normally spend on TV, the Internet, sports, hobbies, boating, hunting golfing, or just being lazy.

Begin to incrementally give it to your children!

Just hang out with your family and kids because you want to and get to.

Not because you HAVE TO…
It is a clear and solid choice of attitude and motivation.

We GET to hang out with our kids.  We are blessed and privileged!

How could you be more intentional and incremental in dating your kids?

Dream it, plan it, write it, and do it!

Follow through.

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

 

 

Secret #4-Study Your Children

 

As a father, it’s critical that you know and understand your kids. Your effective fathering depends on seeing your child as an individual, separate from you, with strengths, weaknesses, preferences, ideas, and goals that are all his or her own. When you clearly grasp who your child is as an individual, you can then work to encourage him to utilize his strengths to achieve his goals. You can support her in her interests. You can enjoy your child as a unique person.

 

Study your children to see in what areas they excel. Are they particularly good at negotiation? At sports or other physical endeavors? Do they communicate especially well through the spoken or written word? Are they deeply compassionate, caring, and careful of the feelings of others?

 

Identify their strengths and point them out to your kids. Kids like to see their strong points noted and appreciated as much as we adults do! Also, pointing out your child’s strengths to him helps him to further utilize and develop those strengths.

 

As important as identifying your children’s strengths is being able and willing to identify their faults and weaknesses and begin to address them.

Having the courage to take a hard look at your child’s personal failures and weaknesses will enable you to begin to come behind them and support them.

This exercise, when done in love, can open the door for your fatherly coaching, encouragement, and training. Choose your timing; it is easier to hear and acknowledge a fault or weakness if it is pointed out in a setting of support and love. Make sure your kid knows that you’re bringing the topic up only because you want the best for him, because you want to help him grow and mature, not because you want to belittle or demean him.

 

Of course, we will see our kids act out their weaknesses when they misbehave. Before you begin to dole out punishment for the misbehavior, though, it makes sense to try to understand the reasons behind the behavior.

For example, kids act out when they’re hungry, tired, sick, emotionally needy, or even need to poop. The key then becomes your ability to study and analyze the whole picture behind how your child is acting.

Can you see through their eyes and identify with empathy why they’re acting as they are?

This requires more than operating on a preconceived notion, your own knee-jerk emotional reaction, or a swift observation of the situation.

You must be willing to take the time and use the resources to get to know your kid. What is bothering, challenging, or troubling them?  Is it physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, social, or something else you haven’t thought of?  A quick and cursory look will not reveal what you must figure out to know your kids in order to support them.

How can we possibly give support, help, or guidance without knowing the root causes of the problems and issues our kids face?

It’s up to us as fathers to be keen observers of our kids, and to study their strengths and their weaknesses that we may support them. Neglect and apathy is your number one enemy here.

Do you study your kids and know their strengths?

Do you know their weaknesses?

Are you currently resourcing their strengths and training and coaching their weaknesses?

Where your child’s three main strengths?

What are your child’s three main weaknesses?

If not you, then who will do this?

If not now, when?

 

Secret #5-Have a Strong Marriage

 

The marriage institution is in trouble according to multiple studies in the U.S., with a 55% failure rate.

What will you do in actionable terms to have a solid marriage?  Can you apply yourself and your resources strategically and work toward the end of having a solid, grounded, balanced, and alive marriage with your wife?

A good marriage sets the stage for good fathering. Your kids need security in the world, in their home, and in their lives.

A good marriage provides a sense of peace, order, and love within the home. It provides the foundation for all good fathering practices to take place.

We must model being a good husband for our kids, as they will take our model and become like us as they grow older.

I’m becoming my dad and I didn’t plan on it! We learn and catch many things from our own dads.

We must date our wives.  We need to make time to communicate, to be together, to talk, to pray, to be alone, and to have fun in order to model a positive husband role to our kids

Communication is the key, and the venue frankly doesn’t matter.

We like going to Costco on dates!  We pick up the week’s groceries, and also a slice of pizza and salad to enjoy in the car by the Bay. Think of your own venue and what you like to do best.

Moreover, think of what your wife likes to do best. Does she like to:

·       Go on walks?

·       Go to Starbucks?

·       Sit and talk over a dinner out?

·       Go on a car drive or a bike ride?

·       Go shopping?

The point is, figure it out and go do it with her!

This weekly dating of your wife will pay off big dividends in a healthy marriage, family and society.

Is your wife on your agenda?

What’s the condition of your marriage right now?

How’s your communication with your wife?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

Secret #6-Find Fathering Mentors/Coaches

 

What’s the job of a coach?

The job of the coach is to help people accomplish what they want to do, but will not do well or even do at all, without coaching.

 The job of a coach is also to see what gifts and abilities others cannot see in those they coach.

A coach is a leader. Coaches get people to do things they never thought of, think they cannot do, or maybe do not want to do.

Your own fathering “coach persona” drives the action in your Fathering Plan.

 Your “coach persona” may listen to excuses, but will not let excuses stop you from winning at the game of fathering. The decision and responsibility is yours alone.  You are accountable.

So what is your “next best”?   How you get there?

Who can and will help you be a better father? Can you find and follow a few good examples and role models of fathers that were no better than you, but maybe just a little more experienced?

Can you then spend time with those mentors, go deep, learn and then emulate what they do to strengthen your commitment as a quality dad?

Can you seek out sources of support through a different strategy?  What about:

·       Books or tapes, CDs and DVDs

·       Introspection, writing, and journaling

·       Fathers who’ve been there before, solved it, and have the scars to prove it

·       Internet articles, magazines, radio shows, and podcasts

It is all out there for the taking. We simply must be intentional.

This commitment to focus on the right direction and getting wise counsel on fathering leads to better follow-through in learning the dynamics of building relationships with our kids.

The corollary to this principle is that we must jettison people, influences, activities, and friends who detract from our successful Fathering Plan.

They must not be allowed to obscure our mission goals or strategies to be better fathers.

You and I must get rid of poor influences and “friends” that are cross currents with good fathering. These could be otherwise good, fun, and normal relationships. The issue here is the usurping of time and energies, which should be devoted first to family and specifically toward your children.

Will you seek out resources, including father mentors, with whom you will develop a relationship, from whom you will learn?

Are you accountable to anyone with your Father Plan? Is there anyone with whom you have a trusting relationship who can help keep you on track?

What will you do to get resourced?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

 

 

Secret #7-Be a Man/Leader

Leadership means many things to many people. I think it means being proactive, being the first, and:

·       Taking the initiative

·       Setting the standard

·       Managing effectively

·       Planning often and well

·       Resourcing whenever possible

·       Identifying the vision, goals, and priorities

·       Setting the example, always

A good leader takes responsibility and says; “The buck stops here!” when something is not right.

Leaders show the way and model through active example what they’re trying to express and accomplish.

They press on and press in, and they run counter to the culture of convenience and quick fixes. They refuse to get sidetracked by the “bright and shiny objects”, the diversions, and side-eddies of our culture.

They strain and strive with intentionality and energy to build relationships and create a legacy, a heritage, and a family.  They do much of this by simply taking the initiative, being intentional and planning by writing and accomplishing compelling goals that are relationship-based.

 

Dad, you are the key, you are the man. Now be one.

You must be intimately in touch with your mission, goals, and objectives as a family man, husband, and father.

This requires discipline, selflessness, living your priorities, and time management.

You must leverage the hours of your day and to intentional in everything you do.

Time is the only resource you’re guaranteed to have.

The key here is to write down what you want… dream it, plan it, and do it.

The questions are…

1.    Who are you?

2.    What do you want?

3.    Why are you here?

4.    What is not working, that you would like to see work?

5.    What is happening now, that should like to see vanish?

The answer to these questions will determine your “ brand” as a father and as a leader.

What “brand” are you now?

What” brand” do you want to be?

 Here are some thoughts on leaving a legacy and heritage:

What will they say when you’re gone?

A good father transfers the following attributes and character qualities to his children…

·       Love for God (as you understand Him) and people

·       Values

·       Ethics/ knowledge

·       Wisdom and understanding

·       Love and compassion and kindness

·       Positive  attitude and motivation

Great fathering requires us as dads to raise children in the way they would be best served.

They are individuals, not part of a cookie-cutter machine.

Therefore, we need to work with our kids on their level, meeting their needs, resourcing, respecting, and fostering the individuality of each child.

We must study to know them and then resource their gifts, attributes, and skills. No two children are alike.

This all requires patience on our part to work on their level, one or two things at a time.

 Slowly, with a patient father’s heart.

Who is leading your family?

Who is leading your children?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

Good Dad, Bad Dad-7 Secrets of Effective Fathers…Conclusion

As fathers, we have a choice.

It’s a choice regarding investment- not necessarily of money, stocks, and bonds, but of time and what I call life units. What could be more important than your family?

It’s your choice; you’re free to decide how you will invest your life units.

Will it be for experiences?

·         Possessions?

·          Status? 

·          Fame?

·          Pleasure?

Or, perhaps you could invest your life units in your family, your kids, in leaving a legacy, a heritage, and a quality-of-life inheritance for your loved ones.

You won’t be perfect, but you can be intentional, sequential, methodical, and directional in this vital goal. If you are, you have no choice but to succeed!

However, you might need help along the way.  The question is, are you willing to ask?

Some of the resources you might need to be humble enough to ask for will be…

1.    Support from your wife

2.    Fathers(or other family members) and mentors

3.    Support from your kids

4.    Educational resources, such as books, CDs, tapes, DVDs, and the Web

5.    Goal-setting tools and techniques

6.    A Father Plan for accountability with others whom you trust and love

How much do you care?

How important is your family to you?

How invested are you in your kids?

Be honest with yourself and others.

Are you willing to do the work?  Pay the price?  Take the steps?

It’s truly up to you to become the architect of your own Father Plan. In this effort, none of us can afford to be self-deceived, haphazard, or halfhearted when it comes to deciding and acting on the Plan.

So ask yourself the following questions again and again…

1.    Who am I?

2.    What do I want?

3.    Why am I here?

4.    What’s not happening now that I would like to see happen?

5.    What’s happening now that I would like to see stop?

What will it be, dad?

When is it gonna be?

 Make a decision, do something!

Fathers, you are the architects, and you’ve got to become comfortable enough to lead and to put together your “Father Plan”.

You’ve got to start somewhere, so how ‘bout this?

Think about the saying: “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”

1.    Dream, plan, write, and share two or three goals that you have as a father

2.    Post your goals in a prominent place and review them on a regular basis

3.    Be accountable to yourself and someone else to accomplish the goals.

4.    When you fail and fall short (which you will; we all do)… move on, press forward. and start back up where you left off.  Have forgiveness and grace on yourself, your kids, your spouse, and others.

The key here is attitude. You don’t HAVE to do these things. But, you GET to do these things.

Your motivation and attitude is everything so decide now in the seat of your will that this is a priority to you, and you will succeed at it!

When will you get started on your Father Plan?

How will it look when you schedule your kids into your life and keep your appointments with them?

What will it take for you to be the initiator and leader with the plan and in your family?

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

How about you…. and how about right now.

 

Good Dad Bad Dad…Bio

Scott Hammond is a professional speaker, trainer, writer, and father of 9 kids. He lives in McKinleyville (Humboldt County), California, with his wonderful wife, Joni. Scott can be contacted at scott@BecomeaBetterFather.com or 707-616-7665.

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