Veteran’s Day 2009–A Tribute to My Father–Eulogy of a Friend

To my friend and brother Bob Hammond:

Proudly I call you my brother—-the lives we lived although different, were mirrored in so many ways that are paths were entwined forever…

Born of humble circumstance in Iowa, raised by saintly mother, forged by the Depression, in which doing without was commonplace, you were a gifted athlete, literally fighting for an education, knowledge, and some wisdom.

Through the great conflict (World War II), where the wild blue yonder,, became close up deadly and dirty. You and I lived, suffered losses, made mistakes, played thousands of card games, played hundreds of rounds of golf, fought, drink to excess, and selfishly survived…

Well, it was about time. When we made the long-awaited changes… and with those changes came sobriety, self-respect and most importantly love of family, those of goodwill, coupled with a great love for Christ.

He takes you into his arms. Go lovingly, Compadre. So long I will miss you: keep the light on for me…

Geno Scott

Arkansas, USA

Leaving a Living Legacy:Relationships

What will your best friends say at your funeral?

I came home from a road trip and my wife sat me down at the foot of our bed and said, “Your friend Dan Gunderson is dead”.

I couldn’t believe my ears, hoping it was a joke.

It was no joke.

This death caused me to think…

1. What is a life well lived?
2. What is greatness
3. What does a legacy look like?

I have three questions for you and myself…

1. Who has invested their time, life, and gifts in you?
2. What would your best friends say about you?
3. Who are you now investing your life skills and gifts in?

Someone who invested in me was my dad Bob… he was a real SOB (Sweet Old Bob).

He modeled and lived a life built on relationships.

You could pack all that he owned into his Chevrolet, but he left us incredible riches…

a great love and relationship with people, God, and nature.

1. People.

My father built relationships with everyone, whether in Alcoholics Anonymous, church, family, or just on the street. He built and fostered relationships with everyone he met.

I brought him into my sales office to share his sales genius.

We were all prepared with notepad and pen in hand…

All he said was, “If you’re in this for the money, you’re only about half paid”

That was it! I was a little annoyed and disappointed that he didn’t have more and refused to speak more on the sales craft.

It’s taken me 30 years, but now I realize the genius of my father’s statement… which is build relationships with people and you’ll be paid in incredible riches.

2. God.

My father was a World War II P 51 Mustang fighter pilot.

He killed many people in the South Pacific theater during the war.

Through sobriety that AA afforded him, he forgive himself and others, and connected to a relationship with God.

The Alcoholics Anonymous’ “higher power” had a name, face, and a real love, which my father translated to all he met.

He gave a grace and mercy and forgiveness to both himself and all those he knew.

3. Nature.

My dad loved his flowers, and he had a tremendous appreciation for nature, creation, and all things that grew.

He would stop us in a park or a golf course and say,” Scott come and smell this flower, check out this plant!”

I would dutifully give the cursory sniff, only to find that he was right.

There was beauty all around us if we were only willing to stop and smell the flowers.

He taught me the best things in life are not things at all… they are a love for people, for God, for nature.

How do we leave a legacy?

Are we object-oriented people or relationship-oriented people?

An object-oriented person treasures and values that which is temporal.

Examples would be possessions, travel, experience, wealth, pleasure, etc.

A relationship-oriented person, on the other hand, values that which is more eternal and immortal.

Examples would be… being compassionate, a good listener, showing kindness, saying I love you, being a hugger, and generally valuing all people.

Your three more questions for you…

1. What is most important to you?
2. If you could change anything about your life what would it be?
3. Why aren’t you doing that right now?

For me the answer is to invest in relationships and leave a piece of myself behind.

By investing in relationships, you will leave a richness in others, make a difference, and you will be changed.

One person who made a change in me was my deceased friend Dan Gunderson.

At his memorial, which was awesome and compelling and showed a life well lived, a little girl came forward to say a few words.

She bounced up front, happy and joyful, and began to speak of Dan’s love for her…then broke down and choked out, “Dan was my next-door daddy!!”

She wept openly as only a child can do.

Dan had taken the time to build a relationship with someone who was not core family, business, church, or other venue.

She was a little girl next door, and he reached out to her and made a difference.

My question to you, going forward, is just this…

To whom will you be a “next-door daddy“?

To whom will you reach out and make a difference in their lives …just because?

7 STEPS TO LEAVE A PARENTAL LEGACY

What will they say about you when you are gone?

Good? Bad? Nothing? Angry? Sad? Fun? In the moment? Disengaged?…What will it be?

How about you making that decision now and be intentional about how you are living/parenting?

YOU can decide how you will be, react, respond, live, speak think, and act.

This will certainly gage how others (esp. family) will remember you when you pass on.

Here are some tools that my father Bob used to leave his legacy and heritage…

1. Time… Togetherness, investment in quality relationships with intentional, time spent together.
2. Communication…Talking, telling stories, laughing, and sharing life together, while communicating.
3. Love for and Appreciation of Beauty… Noticing life intentionally: the flowers, people, gardens, plants ,trees,birds, animals, and the natural world.
4. Love for People… Appreciation and thankfulness for those in our lives. Expressions of love through, hugs, focused attention, eye contact encouragement, and appropriate touch.
5. Love for God… Actively having a love affair with our Creator, based in a worshipful heart disposition.  Living in intentional expression in: church community, the Fellowship, the study of truth, prayer, using our gifts, and living a life of love for God and people.
6. Having fun!… Being present, in the moment and spontaneous. Making time for what’s really important. Being able to stop and smell the flowers, taste the ice cream, and generally enjoy the simple things. “The best things in life are not things at all.”
7. Being a Lifelong Learner… Possessing a hunger and thirst for truth, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and a compelling education. Truly being a student of life, with the intent of discovering your strengths and gifts and making application to make your world a better place.

You could put all of my father’s worldly possessions in his Chevy celebrity, yet he left us incredible riches. He taught and modeled a love for life, God, and people that will transmit for generations. He was not a flashy man, yet his life was compelling, and his heritage rich with meaning.

So what will it be for you?…Who are you?
What do you want to leave behind?

You are leaving something now, what is it?

What do you want to see more of?

What you see now that you’d like to make go away?

The answers to the above will define your heritage and legacy for years and generations to come…

Eulogy from Gene Scott to Bob Hammond, April 2004

To my friend and brother:

Proudly I call you my brother—-the lives we lived although different, were mirrored in so many ways that are paths were entwined forever…

Born of humble circumstance, raised by saintly mother, forged by the Depression, in which doing without was commonplace, you were a gifted athlete, literally fighting for an education, knowledge, and some wisdom.

Through the great conflict, where the wild blue yonder,, became close up deadly and dirty. And you and I lived, suffered losses, made mistakes, played thousands of card games, played hundreds of rounds of golf, fought, drink to excess, and selfishly survived…

Well, it was about time. When we made the long-awaited changes… and with those changes came sobriety,, self-respect and most importantly love of family,, those of goodwill, coupled with a great love for Christ.

He takes you into his arms. Go lovingly, Compadre. ,So long I will miss you: keep the light on for me…

Geno

(My father Bob Hammond died on Valentines Day 2004 at the age of 83 of cancer. He was an awesome dad, mentor, WWII survivor, and God guy…I hope you may meet him one day…)