Do You Have ADD?

Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

I recently had the occasion to speak to a man who coaches business leaders with ADD.

My results were startling… I fit many of the parameters of impaired executive function associated with ADD syndrome.

It was frighteningly clear that some of my tendencies are associated with ADHD… here are a few…

1. Activation… organizing tasks and materials, estimating time,, prioritizing tasks and getting started on work tasks. I have experienced difficulty with excessive procrastination.
2. Focusing… sustaining focus and shifting focus to tasks. I have difficulty in sustaining focus as I get distracted easily by things around and by internal thinking in my mind. Reading also is a chore as retention and understanding are a challenge for me.
3. Effort… regulating alertness, sustaining effort, and processing speed. I’m great at the short-term project, but have great difficulty in sustaining effort over longer periods of time. It’s tough to be a complete a task.
4. Emotion… managing frustration and modulating emotions. I discover challenges in managing frustration, anger, worry ,fear, disappointment, desire, and more. When these takeover, it is very difficult to get these emotions in perspective and get my mind back on track and do the really important things.
5. Memory…utilizing memory and assessing a recall. I’ve discovered great difficulty in being able to remember many many things… including names, situations, circumstances, and other memories of those around me describe what these. I find it difficult to access memory information at the moment I need it. Was it the teen drugs or my 9 kids that did this?
6. Action…monitoring and regulating function. Distraction, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are tendencies which I need to watch. Whether an action, word, or in my thinking these become a danger. When I failed to notice what is happening I can easily jump to inaccurate conclusions and I have difficulty in regulating the pace of my actions and slowing or speeding up as needed for specific tasks.

So these are the big wake-up call for me… now I need to figure out how to regulate and leverage these tendencies in my life.

One area is procrastination: I see now the need to activate my brain for at least 30 minutes a day to write and blog.

It’s easy for me to be faithful. Once I’m intentional.

Now i need to leverage my tendencies in these areas!…

5 Tools of Effective Families:#5. A Relationship With God

The fifth and most important “tool” is a genuine relationship with God, both as an individual and as a family.

Writing about our relationship with God is extremely difficult. So let’s start with what it is not.

It is not:

1. About attending church
2. About giving money
3. About being” good “
4. About being religious
5. About being condemning, condescending, or arrogant about one’s faith
6. About religious activity, service, or lifestyle

What it is about could take up several pages of a blog.

But we’ll start with the following:

1. Knowing and understanding God’s Word–the Bible–reading and meditating on it regularly
2. Understanding and having a genuine salvation/saving relationship with God by faith in Christ
3. Being a person who prays on a regular basis, who has two-way conversations with God
4. Being a person who’s quick to repent, be humble, and truly make things right, admitting it when wrong
5. Being a person who’s willing to serve others, even at their own expense
6. Living an obedient life, not out of obligation, but out of thankfulness and deep gratitude for all God has done
7. Allowing God’s full expression in me, in my thoughts, my deeds, my words, my motivation, my attitude, my resources, and so much more
8. Being a person who puts my walk with God as my number one priority in life, through prayer, Bible study, praise, worship, sharing my faith, serving my church and community and fellow humans.
9. Obeying God in the small stuff… being sensitive to details and doing the right thing even when no one is looking.
10. Relaxing, taking deep breaths, simply appreciating the life and the love God has given me, realizing I can not add to this love. I can only respond to it by living in the moment, and being the obedient son He’s asked that I be
11. Utilizing the gifts and the resources He’s given me in the way that He leads me to do so
12. Having a heart attitude and disposition that seeks to glorify God in every aspect of my life

Much of this has to do with what I call a “heart attitude”, the core belief system that governs all behaviors, words, deeds, and attitudes.

It stems from the realization of all that God has done for me, is doing, and will do in the future. It comes from a heart of deep gratitude, which seeks to please, not repay, or pay penance, to the God who loves me and has given his all for my life and eternity.

It’s just this… fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and faithfulness, and self-control… against such there is no law.” These are the heart attitudes which demonstrate Christ’s likeness. They only come with a genuine long-term walk with him.

Be careful to understand that not speaking about perfection… we are all human,, fallible, frail, weak, and prone to making all manner of mistakes. The giant difference is having a heart of repentance. It’s quick to humble, turn, pray, and make course corrections when we discover we have sinned against God or people. We need to be good repenters.

This doesn’t mean that everything is a bed of roses, in fact Christians suffer as much or more than others. The difference here is:” God works all things together for good for those who love him and for those who are called according to his purpose.” This means that even the worst challenges, problems, and disasters are actually blessings in disguise for trust God to work it all together for good. When a person can live this way, and a faith walk with God, all of life takes on a brand-new adventure and excitement, knowing that no matter what happens, I’m going to become closer and more like my Father in each and every situation.

This is the foundation for a great life,, marriage and family. it makes for a stability, a joy, and the love that permeates a family and a marriage with the sweetness and a sanity that is rare and precious.

To call this Walk with God a “tool” is to misrepresent and underestimate what’s being written here.

This Walk with God is the life-giving, dominant feature of the dedicated Christian family and individual. With God at the vanguard of our lives, life really becomes worth living.