Really Be Here Now

Be present now—

Where are you right now? Are you here, in your chair, reading this? Or is your mind racing elsewhere – to your unread e-mail, or what to make for dinner? Are you still flashing back to your tuning comment your boss made hours ago, continuing conversations with people who are not even in the room?

Don’t laugh, but time travel is a real – we spent a lot of time in the past and the future. All day, we plan, fantasize, remember and regret, and missed the here and now. There’s a toll for all the psychic torturing – lack of focus, lost energy and hidden stress.

Do some simple techniques to learn to be in the present. When you savor the moment –

1. You probably find your enjoying life more

2. You’ll be less stressed and more productive

3. You’ll enjoy food more even as you eat less

4. The likely some more open and generous

5. He’ll appreciate the people around you more

6. You become a better listener and Observer

7. You’ll find a better communication and connection in your relationships

Who could argue with all that?

Learning to be present, or mindful is a lifelong pursuit. Meditation is all important to that can lead to the skill. There are things that you can do today to help. Many of the techniques involve breathing – focus on it, it’s almost guaranteed to bring you back to the moment requires no special tools or training, so it’s a perfect way to begin.

Try to adopt is one of these ideas, even once a day – whichever one seems easiest. Once you experience being in the present, you can find you want to try other techniques to extend the feeling. Here are a few examples –

1. When the phone rings, don’t jump up to answer it – take a good deep breath before you say hello.

2. Program your computer a watch to beep once an hour. — When you hear the beat, stop and take five deep breaths.

3. Before getting out of bed, take five minutes to do a mental scan of your body-. How does everything feel?

4. Before rising in the morning, utilize your Tabernacle choir–. Remember all the positives of your life. Remember, rehearse, and review all the good things and grace that has been given you.

5. Practice doing just one thing at a time—stop multitasking, it will poison your soul and mind…if you’re eating don’t watch TV or read. If you’re walking… don’t talk to focus on your single activity.

6. As you eat, take small bites into each one 30 times—you will discover you enjoy your food more, and it’s healthier to.

7. Stop look and listen—really smell the flowers, listen to people, focus your attention, and be in the process of the moment. You will be more peaceful, focused, loving, present, and engaged as well as engaging!

Once you start developing the ability to be present at certain times of the day, defined in a valuable skill to call on to defuse stress at any time. As with learning a support or musical instrument, the more you practice, the more adept and you’ll be calm. Before you know it, you’ll be nowhere else but here… are you here right now?

How to Ruin Your Kids

How to really whack at your kids… to truly mess up their innocence.—

I was flying on a plane and the folks across from you had a small boy named Alex. Alex was all boy… he was a hopelessly curious, always processing information, thinking, learning and asking questions. What was interesting about the story is that his folks were compelled to constantly correct is data. They corrected his questions, comments, deductions, vocabulary, language usage and so much more. They seemed compelled to be right more than they were about loving their Alex. In my mind, they were whacking their son, and setting them up for some sort of pathology as he grew older.

Children possess a rare innocence in Christ said, lest you become as a child you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. They’re loving innocence and kindness makes them a model to learn from.

We as parents to take this innocence away with our sarcasm and snotty and snippy words and attitudes. Our anger and frustration and ongoing angst truly tends to whack our kids. Many of us have to be correct and right all the time or else... life becomes unchecked.

All of these corrections, reality checks, and “talkin tos” in the name of helping our children equates to cruelty, madness and translating much of our own personal issues and baggage over tour kids… why can’t we just be merciful?

Why can’t we just go with it when they’re in a stream of conscious flow of thought? Why can’t we urge them on as they dream out loud? Why can’t we verbally endorse their process and not worry so much about their content or conclusions, exclusively?

We can always come back later and dialogue and discover what is truth incorrect and right and good— but how can we ever get there if we are so busy correcting little Alex and his plethora of poor communication and logic?

The madness, we parents and adults possess and wanting to be correct– coupled with our moodiness is something that truly monitor and become aware of. … so as to intentionally jettison. We need to see our issues and own and fix them. We need to be in the moment and be present and enjoy our kids rather than hurt their hearts. We need to truly encourage the development and thought process so they can eventually discover the truth, and thereby be set free.

Next time your kid begins to verbally explore their world— go with it. You don’t have to be right or correct or the boss in authority (you are). You do need to be merciful and kind and gentle. You do need to see your own issues and tendencies in moodiness and anger and own them. You do need to be intentional about your issues to fix them. Quit trying to fix other people and go ahead and fix yourself. Quit trying to be correct and illicit rightness from all those around you and concentrate on being right in your own heart.

Be here now.

Be present.

Enjoy the ride!

Lessons From Gabriel…Outline of an Award Winning speech

The following is an outline of my award-winning Toastmasters International Speech Contest presentation.

It is an outline showing the process of what I work from as I develop a contest speech.

These are only highlight points and I color in the rest with the pertinent stories.

I Hope this might help someone developing a speech and or competing in a speaking contest…

Gabriel’s Story…THE UP SIDE OF DOWN SYNDROME

RING….and it all started with the ultrasound at Mad River Community Hospital. The ultrasound revealed the possibility of Down syndrome. Gabe had a 1 in 3 chance of having Down.

RING…That $1M question was ringing in our minds until Gabe’s birth…We knew little of Down or disabilities…

This is a true story of our beloved 7th son Gabriel. (TELL3)

Ring…My wife Joni SUPERWOMAN …

· 30 days in bed rest…Gave a birth…stress of her child’s state…Up all night..3am flight…up all the next day..

RING…Joni called…get a clue and get to Sacramento NOW! Mother and child were now recovering well.

The $1M question REMAINED did Gabe have Down?

Meeting with the doctor, she assured us that Gabe did have Down syndrome…Our marriage would be in Jeopardy and our family was in trouble… She was not very delicate… What nuggets to drop on a couple…WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT? THIS WAS MORE THAN I COULD BEAR!!

The proceeding questions, prayer, and walks around the UC Davis campus crying out to God will always be etched in my memory. How could he allow this to happen to us?

We simply did not have a road map for Gabe and wanted to be careful, successful, and help Gabe…WALKS,TEARS, PRAYER, THINKING, AND THEN…..RING…..I HAD IT!!
I decided to dedicate Gabriel (and our raising him) to the Lord, and trust that, although he might never be a football hero or a brain surgeon, his life would be both personally fulfilling and enriching to those around him. We were ready to move on and raise our son no matter!

We have learned to be honest with our feelings and with reality. Some of the lessons learned include:

1. There is no one-time fix. This is a long-term issue, challenge, battle, and journey requiring a long term mentality and approach.
2. A positive mental attitude and my positive confessions are not enough to get me through.
There is no “Bible bullet “or quick fix that is adequate to address my parental challenges.
3. Whereas Gabriel may have special needs of his intellect, there is none of the spirit. He is Really Special
4. Therapists are now part of our Extended Family forever

The lessons learned have to do with my deciding to have the right perspective, attitude, actions, and behaviors.
The decision to love unconditionally…

Gabe has taught us many lessons. RING…

1. To slow down. To love and live in the moment….be here now…TO ENJOY LIFE AND GABE.

2. To appreciate and celebrate accomplishments: Potty.

3. To be patient and to look outside the box and value all God has created.

I’m learning to choose to love freely regardless of the payback. I’m learning to value all people. I know that everyone has special needs. Some of us just hide them better!

My commitment as a father begins with loving my son and also to help my family to love Gabriel, to be patient with him, and to see past his challenges to his many positive attributes….and to love, accept, understand, and help Gabriel. He just needs a little extra help in life!!

Gabriel has the potential to teach us to look for the things in life that are truly important. May I be as good a student as he is a teacher. I’ll end with a story…

(Micah Story)

· 3 YEAR OLD…ALL BOY…HAVING A VERY BAD TIME

· NORMAL KID HAVING A TANTRUM

· PUBLIC HUMILIATION, ANNOYING, IRRITATING,

· GABE HAVING A SPECIAL NEEDS MOMENT….RING!!

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The 5 Languages of Love

“All we need is love”…Beatles wrote it because it’s true!

We all need love, and it must be demonstrated by us and to us.

The key question for me and you is can we be intentional about giving the appropriate type of love. To those we do love?

Here the five languages of love…

1. Words of affirmation… this includes encouragement, positive reinforcement, kindness, and general verbal affection.
2. Quality time… this includes focused attention, quality as well as quantity of time, and spending time with people we love.
3. Receiving of gifts… showing others we care, and that we are thinking of them through practical gift giving.
4. Acts of service… To show support and care through practical actions. To show in actuality what we feel internally: to serve someone.
5. Physical touch… To show, demonstrate, and receive appropriate physical touch: hugs, touching, appropriate physical contact.

I, being a man ,really like number five and number one.  A word of encouragement and appropriate hug can fill my emotional tank and keep me going for long periods of time.

What are your languages of love? What are you best at giving? Which do you love to receive the most?

Now go and be intentional about your giving and receiving of love…