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My Kids Love this stuff….Don’t tell Chuck but me too..
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
- Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
- Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
- Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It’s called Chuck-Will-Kill.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
- Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
- In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
- Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
- If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
- Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
- Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
6 Minutes, 50 Years
Here is legendary Coach Bear Bryant‘s speech to his Alabama football team before a 1974 game: “Most of you will live another fifty years or more. I hope it’s seventy, but if it’s fifty that’s still a good life, and what happens today you’ll have to live with the rest of the way. You can’t get it back if you don’t win. It’s sixty minutes and over. The losers are the ones who say, ‘Oh I wish I could play it again.’ You can’t play it again.
Well, you’re not really going to have to play sixty minutes. None of you. The longest play in a game is six and a half seconds. The shortest play is less than two seconds. That’s barely a wink of the eye. You’ll average five seconds a play. Five seconds of total effort, going all out, giving a hundred percent. You oughta be able to hold your hand in a fire that long…”
1. Access isn’t presence. You can still “be there” and offer value to your clients if you’re across the country.
2. Activity isn’t results. Beware of mistaking one for the other.
3. Advising isn’t listening. Especially if the person didn’t ASK you for advice.
4. Being alone isn’t loneliness. It’s just a healthy form of solitude that all humans need.
5. Art isn’t linear. So, beware of imposing too many rules.
6. Attention isn’t infinite. Make sure your message is quick, simple and digestible.
7. Biography isn’t destiny. Because you ALWAYS have a choice.
8. Change isn’t weakness. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
9. Complaining isn’t attractive. Like farting, complaining relieves you but annoys others.
10. Create without responsibility. And just make art for the sake of making art.
11. Creativity isn’t enough. Nope. You need talent, discipline and passion.
12. Difficult isn’t impossible. Keep plugging away.
13. Duplicity isn’t advantageous. Don’t allow your mind to split.
14. Education isn’t knowing. No matter how many books you read.
15. Evidence isn’t proof. It only suggests the possibility of proof.
16. Excellence isn’t optional. It’s the price of admission.
17. Facelessness isn’t accidental. People are monoliths because they choose to be.
18. Faith isn’t fact. You don’t “know,” you simply “believe.”
19. Fit isn’t thin. Magazines are liars.
20. Growth isn’t automatic. It’s a choice. It’s a daily duty.
21. Humility isn’t weakness. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
22. Information isn’t communication. Make your emails shorter.
23. Information isn’t wisdom. Because we learn not from our experiences, but from intelligent reflection upon them.
24. Knowing isn’t understanding. You have to LIVE it first.
25. Listening isn’t agreeing. It’s OK to say, “I respectfully disagree.”
26. Motion isn’t progress. Is what you’re doing RIGHT NOW consistent with your #1 goal?
27. Obvious isn’t easy. Be careful what you dismiss.
28. Passion isn’t unrealistic. It only seems that way to people who are too afraid to express their passion.
29. Pressuring isn’t listening. It’s just awkward.
30. Quitting isn’t failing. Not if you do it at the right time.
31. Reading isn’t believing. Doing, living, being – now THAT’S believing!
32. Respect isn’t weakness. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
33. Retreat isn’t defeat. Walking away is smart.
34. Satisfaction isn’t retention. The real question is, “How many of their friends did they tell about you?”
35. School isn’t education. Where’s your classroom?
36. Success isn’t bestsellers. It’s contribution, significance and validation.
37. Success isn’t perfection. How often do you screw up?
38. Sunday isn’t enough. Your spiritual practice is daily.
39. Suspending isn’t losing. Don’t be such a control freak.
40. Technique isn’t enough. Nope. Your heart and soul must be there too. Or else the audience will KNOW.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What misconceptions might be hurting YOUR life?
Forgiveness In Marriage
Forgiveness is a gift not a given. When we choose to forgive our spouse, we are giving up our “right” to hold something against them.
Asking for Forgiveness
1. Make an unconditional apology
An unconditional apology focuses on our responsibility in the matter not our spouse’s. It should sound something like this, “I was wrong for what I did and I am so sorry.” Period. We don’t make excuses or point the finger at our mate. An unconditional apology should not sound like this, “I am sorry, BUT IF YOU wouldn’t have” That is NOT an unconditional apology.
2. Humbly ask for the gift of forgiveness
Again, since forgiveness is not a given, we must ask for it. After our apology we need to sincerely ask our mate to forgive us.
3. Follow up with action
This is what gives substance to apologizing and asking for forgiveness. We need to sincerely repent or turn away from our wrongs. Whether it’s attitudes or actions, we need to show our spouse that we are changing. And, we need to be open to their input as to what constitutes satisfactory change. Remember, they are the one who has been hurt so they might require more from us than we think necessary. But, we should be aware of their needs and be open to their suggestions.
4. Give your spouse time
Even if our spouse does accept our apology and grant forgiveness, we can’t expect things to be better right away. Now sure, you might get over the small things more quickly but for bigger things, it can take our spouse time to warm up to us again. Be patient with them. Time will show that you are changing and are sincere about not hurting them again.
1. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling
We may not feel like forgiving our mate. We may want to harbor the anger and hurt and make them pay for what they have done. But, once you decide you want to grant forgiveness, you can begin to work through those feelings.
2. Share your hurt
After your spouse has apologized and asked for forgiveness you need to talk about the matter before you move on. It might be uncomfortable, but you need to share how you feel about what has happened. Don’t point a finger at them; just share how you feel, so they understand the depth of your hurt. Make sure you feel heard, before you move on.
3. Plan for change
Decide together what your spouse’s change of heart will look like. Be clear about what you expect and what you need. The goal here is not to punish with requirements, but to set up guidelines that you both agree to. That way, there will be fewer gray areas that can lead to disappointment.
4. Stop the video
Do not replay your spouse’s infraction over and over again in your mind. When your mind starts to wander and you begin to dwell on the incident and the hurt they caused you, tell yourself to stop. It’s one thing to need to talk to someone like a pastor or a counselor about your pain so you can move past it, but it’s another when you keep inflicting the pain on yourself by dwelling on the hurt. Deciding to truly forgive your spouse is re-committing to your relationship. Don’t sabotage that recommitment by focusing on the negative.
5. Give yourself time
Just deciding to forgive will not strip away all of the pain of the incident. You need to give yourself time.
No one can make you forgive. It is your choice. But, if you decide not to forgive you will suffer the consequences of bitterness and frustration that harboring resentment brings. On the other hand, when you grant forgiveness you are taking the first step in ridding your heart of the pain you now feel. You are saying, “Yes, you hurt me and what you did was wrong. But, I am giving up my right to punish you. In so doing, I am rising above the pain you have caused me.”…from allprodad.com
Legacy…on what does that word mean to you? Leaving a positive and compelling legacy or heritage is what life is really about. ..
What is the key to success?
What really matters?
What footprint are you leaving on life and others?
Do you want to impress or influence?
What is the stuff of a real legacy?
In a word—relationships.
The quality of your legacy will be measured by the quality of your relationships through life. Leaving a heritage and legacy is not rocket science. Success, real success, comes from intentionality and achievement of goals and planned outcomes around relationships with others. These key relationships define your values and determined the heritage or legacy you leave behind.
This is a form of immortality in that you leave a piece of your life behind with those whom you’ve loved and had relationship with. As you pour your heart and life and gifts and to others,you truly begin to define your life message as you invest in other people. These friends and loved ones and family members cannot help but be touched by your real-life example, model and witness.
We all leave footprints when we walk on the beach of life and the same is true for our walk through life. We are all leaving behind something. For some us it’s a mixed bag. For some of us it’s extremely negative and for others it’s a positive life legacy. These are the relationship based people who prepare for a real inheritance of true riches by transferring their passion and love over to others. This love is more often caught than taught. These are the people who model a positive life two is solid and sane walk through life that leaves each of us changed, sometimes in the most subtle way.
Transferring your passion to other people through intentional awareness and focused planning of who you are and who you want to be is a core practice of a life well lived. Much of this is on the subconscious level, and is not animated, overtly planned, or conscious. These are the people who touched our lives, and didn’t even know it. These are the ones who profoundly changed us with how they lived and conducted their lives in love, faith, hope, kindness and gentleness. They are genuine people who live transparent lives and leave real riches behind that have nothing to do with stuff. They are relationship based from beginning to end. They are relationship people, not stuff or object people. Possessions and material goods mean little or nothing to these relationship based individuals,
How do we then go through life being aware, focused and intentional in developing and fostering quality relationships, which result in a positive legacy? What are the keys, core values, outcomes and questions, which can unlock this life well lived? What are the principles? What are the rules? What of the protocols? Where do we get started? Who are the examples? How do we know when we are on track or not?
What is the bottom line of what you want to leave behind as a parent? Is it…
· Real estate?
· Ethics? or something much more?
What does a genuine positive legacy look like? What are the elements, characteristics, and hallmarks of a positive legacy and heritage? What is the essence—the bottom line here?
The answer lies in nurturing relationships. Relationships are all we leave behind. To be more effective parents, who leave a positive heritage and legacy we need to be able to equip and nurture our children and it starts in the context of relationship. This is to set the foundation of best practices as a family leader or parent and involves…
1. Time to foster nurturer relationship with their kids.
2. A foundation of best practices, systems and protocols regarding family.
3. To incrementally introduce and practice the habits, attributes, and tools to parent with purpose driven intentionality.
4. To correctly grow our families to fulfill their best and highest potentials.
5. To listen and express oneself — being an active participant and honest communication
6. Being an actively engaged family member
7. To willingly and purposely pass on our love, humanity, and positive values to our loved ones
What is the essence and bottom line? These are just some aspects of the positive parent total legacy…
1. Foundation of faith
2. Contentment and satisfaction
3. Knowing who you are—strengths and weaknesses, gifts and more
4. Hopes, dreams and visions
5. Lessons learned and experiences gained
6. Knowledge and wisdom and understanding
7. Values and ethics
8. A thankful spirit
9. Love for God
10. Love for people
11. Love of nature and creation
12. Love of themselves
Is critical and crucial that we pass along a positive legacy because it pleases God, blesses the community, and identifies personal quality so lacking in our world. People of genuine quality are a rare and precious phenomenon today. By loving our children unconditionally and making them our priority of focus and care, we can add to what’s lacking in our civilization.
“These were the best of times….and the worst of times.”
The challenges of this year force us to really identify what is key in our lives.
I have learned that the key for me is Relationships.
”The best things in life …aren’t things at all.”
This is just a quick note to express appreciation for our relationship and your role in my life/success.
I would be remiss to not acknowledge your kindness and to let you know I value our relationship.
I honor you and wish to say thanks for all you’ve done/been for me.
I invite you to ask me for help… anytime you have need, as I’m here for you.
Please do not hesitate to ask, as I’ll endeavor to be at your service.
With genuine sincerity,
1. Ask someone (everyone)
We have a very cool Christmas tradition in Humboldt County, California.
For the last 20 years we’ve taken our family as a holiday ritual to the Ben Hurd Christmas tree farm.
There we have established a Christmas tradition and legacy that is both compelling and meaningful.
We have enjoyed over 20 years of Christmas and holiday warmth, relationship, and the love of family and community by the simple act of securing a lot of Christmas tree. Here’s how…
- Family tradition– it’s really cool to look forward to a single event that defines and refines our family holidays traditions. Simple act of going to get a Christmas tree is a legacy and tradition in and of itself. It really makes a difference, because the experience and people are so wonderful, warm, and festive.
- The people–Ben Hurd and his family really make the experience compelling. They are kind and gentle folk, who really are hospitable and know how to make folks feel at home.
- The farm– the actual setting of the tree farm is really beautiful. Being surrounded by holiday cheer and hundreds of Christmas trees really brings home the fact that it’s Christmas time.
- The drill– from the obtaining of the saw,the selection of the tree, to the actual cutting of the selected tree… the fun and joy is self-evident.
- The afterglow– one of the things that they do at the tree farm is to provide a hot pot belly stove, fresh homemade wassail, and fresh homemade cookies. This ritual after a tree cutting ceremony is the perfect afterglow for such a wonderful holiday experience.
- The cost– the price is nominal for such a priceless experience. It is certainly the bargain of the year.
- The legacy– this experience is the stuff of legacy and holiday tradition for families. It’s easy to plug into — all we have to do is get in the van and go! Show up, create a legacy… it’s literally that easy.
The relationships, experience, shared tradition, memories, food, time together, and, oh yeah, the tree– all add up for a wonderful holiday tradition that can only be found, if sought after. Get in the van and forget about the tree lot. Blot it out of your mind– it is a thing of your past. Make the tree farm your new family holiday tradition, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly and subtly you’ve created a very cool holiday tradition for yourself and your family.
Be present now—
Where are you right now? Are you here, in your chair, reading this? Or is your mind racing elsewhere – to your unread e-mail, or what to make for dinner? Are you still flashing back to your tuning comment your boss made hours ago, continuing conversations with people who are not even in the room?
Don’t laugh, but time travel is a real – we spent a lot of time in the past and the future. All day, we plan, fantasize, remember and regret, and missed the here and now. There’s a toll for all the psychic torturing – lack of focus, lost energy and hidden stress.
Do some simple techniques to learn to be in the present. When you savor the moment –
1. You probably find your enjoying life more
2. You’ll be less stressed and more productive
3. You’ll enjoy food more even as you eat less
4. The likely some more open and generous
5. He’ll appreciate the people around you more
6. You become a better listener and Observer
7. You’ll find a better communication and connection in your relationships
Who could argue with all that?
Learning to be present, or mindful is a lifelong pursuit. Meditation is all important to that can lead to the skill. There are things that you can do today to help. Many of the techniques involve breathing – focus on it, it’s almost guaranteed to bring you back to the moment requires no special tools or training, so it’s a perfect way to begin.
Try to adopt is one of these ideas, even once a day – whichever one seems easiest. Once you experience being in the present, you can find you want to try other techniques to extend the feeling. Here are a few examples –
1. When the phone rings, don’t jump up to answer it – take a good deep breath before you say hello.
2. Program your computer a watch to beep once an hour. — When you hear the beat, stop and take five deep breaths.
3. Before getting out of bed, take five minutes to do a mental scan of your body-. How does everything feel?
4. Before rising in the morning, utilize your Tabernacle choir–. Remember all the positives of your life. Remember, rehearse, and review all the good things and grace that has been given you.
5. Practice doing just one thing at a time—stop multitasking, it will poison your soul and mind…if you’re eating don’t watch TV or read. If you’re walking… don’t talk to focus on your single activity.
6. As you eat, take small bites into each one 30 times—you will discover you enjoy your food more, and it’s healthier to.
7. Stop look and listen—really smell the flowers, listen to people, focus your attention, and be in the process of the moment. You will be more peaceful, focused, loving, present, and engaged as well as engaging!
Once you start developing the ability to be present at certain times of the day, defined in a valuable skill to call on to defuse stress at any time. As with learning a support or musical instrument, the more you practice, the more adept and you’ll be calm. Before you know it, you’ll be nowhere else but here… are you here right now?