DADS ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!

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This is a true story.
Going to share with you, the story of our beloved son Gabriel.
It all started with the sonogram at a local hospital. The sonogram revealed the possibility of Down syndrome.
And that question haunted us until Gabe’s birth.

My wife Joni was assigned a month’s bedrest, gave birth to a healthy
baby boy, and then was flown overnight to UC Davis medical center in
Sacramento, where Gabriel was to have a duodenal atresia surgery on his
intestine.

The two dollar question was did Gabriel have Down syndrome?
Meeting with the specialist, she assured us that he did and that we had less than one year left in our marriage.
The fallout, heartbreak, and walks around the UC Davis campus crying out to God will always be etched in my memory.
I decided to dedicate Gabriel to the Lord, and trust that although he
would never be a football hero or a brain surgeon, perhaps he’d be the
best darned janitor ever!

The shame, embarrassment, and guilt that parents of special needs
children share is one of life’s dirty little secrets. Although not
rational, logical, or reasonable these feelings are very real.
Perception is reality.
The pain is real.
The times of denial, reality hitting home, and the Costco gawkers only add to one’s frustration and pain and anguish.

There are times of everything crashing in. The night times, and
long nights, and meltdowns with Gabriel are the reality checks of
dysfunction.

Every so often, the reality check of Gabriel’s special needs of
autism and Down syndrome come crashing in on us. They pull us out of
times of denial, where we have to admit, acknowledge, and go forward.
We learn to be honest with our feelings and with reality. And I’ve chosen to redeem gain from all the pain.

The lessons I’ve learned are the following;
1. There is no one-time fix.
2. This is a long-term issue, challenge, battle.
3 A positive mental attitude and my positive confessions are not enough to get me through.
4. There is no “Bible bullet” that is adequate to address my pain.

The lessons have to do with my deciding to have the right perspective, attitude, actions, and behaviors.
The decision to love unconditionally with agape love is mine alone.
This unconditional love, stemming from the decision to love Gabriel, has transferred some of my pain in the positive lessons.
I’m learning to love freely regardless of the payback.
I’m
learning to value all people. I know that everyone has special needs.
Some of us just hide them better! Perhaps there is no term for your
special needs!

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Posted on July 6th, 2007 by Scott Hammond
Filed under: Fathering