DADS ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!

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Improving family communication…

Communication has two parts…

• listening and
• expressing yourself

Both must occur for communication to be successful..

Listening…

When you listen well to family members, you encourage them to talk about what’s most important to them. It’s easy to get careless about really listening.

Listening is at least as important as talking. Everyone needs someone to listen to them-someone who supports them and allows them to openly express feelings. Sometimes a person can find a solution or discover the sources of stress just by talking. Some of us process our feelings or find ways to clarify and express our thoughts by simply talking to others. Find out which of your kids process in this way and you will have a key to unlocking their “code”.

Dad’s sometimes fill obligated to lecture, presents solutions, and give an analysis when listening. This is not good listening. A good listener should not feel obligated to advise, analyze, or have all the answers. Listening and responding with concern and understanding may be all the help needed.

Listening is difficult when strong emotions are present …

1. attentiveness…paying attention and putting aside what you are doing shows the speaker that you intend to listen. The harder part of attentiveness is putting aside your opinions and thoughts and conclusions until you’ve really heard what the speaker is trying to say.
2. an attitude of openness and respect… you may not agree with what your family members saying, but being willing to hear and listen indicates respect and honor.
3. clarifying meaning… check out the interpretation of the message you are getting. Feedback helps to know whether you’ve understood what your family member means. Give feedback or check your interpretation of what is being said…
4. a validating response… this lets the other person know you are ready for more listening. This involves body language, posture, facial expressions, and genuinely showing readiness for more communication

Dads tend to be natural lecturers… all of us need to work to be more intentional listeners. I’ve found many times that listening sets the stage for solving problems, great relationships, and genuine peace in our family. Practice just sitting and focusing on your child without any distractions, and it will transform your life, their life and your relationship together.

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Posted on November 26th, 2007 by Scott Hammond
Filed under: Family, Fathering