Family Communication

Communication has two parts… listening and expressing yourself.  Each must occur for communication to be successful…

Listening:

Listen well to family members and encourage them to talk about what’s most important to them. Listening is as important as talking; everyone needs someone to listen to them.  The listener should not feel obligated to advise, analyze, or have all the answers.
Listening is difficult when strong emotions are present. Deal with them first, so that you can listen calmly and fully.
Making yourself available to listen, even when your spouse or child may not be quite ready to talk, is a good first step.

Listening requires…

1. attentiveness
2. an attitude of openness and respect
3. clarifying meaning
4. a validating response

Expressing yourself:

Guidelines for expressing yourself clearly include…

• describing your feelings… share your feelings with "I" statements
• say what you mean in a simple, direct way
• describe how other people’s behavior affects you without blaming
• be aware of your non-verbal communication

Finding Time:

Effective family communicatin isn’t easy. Learning new communication patterns takes practice. In hard times, when people are overwhelmed with worries and responsibilities, it’s often the family that is left out.  It’s at these times when it’s especially important to plan a few minutes when everyone can be together, or when you can be alone with a family member without interruption. Be sure to save difficult problem-solving conversations for times when you’re not tired.  Being able to discuss and vent angry feelings can help keep those feelings from creating more severe problems such as emotional problems, family violence, or alcohol abuse.