Please consider these as the Unwritten Socially

Accepted protocols for all Costco Shoppers:

1. No Parking Lot Racing to Get the Best Spot–It takes longer to find the perfect spot that is does to simply park far away and walk.
2. The Costco “Attitude”–Don’t expect to get in and out in 5 minutes…This is an outing and a process not  an In & Out Burger run…Breathe and relax.
3. Greet the Greeter–-They are folks just like you who appreciate a smile and a Hello. Remember the Golden Rule.
4. Costco Cart Traffic Violation #1. –Keep moving.  If you MUST stop: park your cart on the right side.  Not everyone wants to stop and peruse the deals as thoroughly as you. Keep it moving Chief.
5. Food Sample Violation#1. –Under NO circumstances are you to stop in the middle of the aisle and wait 5 minutes for the burrito sample to heat. Is this really your last meal?
6. Food Sample Violation#2. –Keep your sampling to one ONLY.  It’s a sample not an entrée. Take your sample and move on Chief.
7. Costco Cart Traffic Visiting Violation #2.--Don’t stop mid-aisle and visit with that friend you haven’t seen for so long. If you must stop (See Rule #4.) or go off to the Paper Goods section and chat. You can catch up uninterrupted  there.
8. Don’t Over-think the Best Check-out Line to go Through– Pick one Captain!  If Costco is busy they will all be about the same time in getting you through and out.
9. Don’t Ask for the Runner to get the 5 Items you Forgot–Get them while in the warehouse. Utilizing a runner delays all behind you.  BTW: they do not actually run!
10. Have your Payment Ready for the Checker Early–You have the time, money, and the conclusion of the Costco run is the exchange of currency…Be prepared to Pay up.
11. (Bonus) Greet the Greeter on the Way Out--Load your stuff out of traffic and drive safely out of the Costco lot…people are really clueless when in parking lots–both drivers and walkers. Thanks for shopping at Costco!

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” - Gandhi

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

The other day I talked about how someone interested in Compassion should talk about compassion towards animals, a group of living beings that is often overlooked.

But just as important is a discussion of compassion towards our own children — people we love and don’t want to see suffer, and yet whose suffering we often cause.

I anticipate this topic will be even more controversial, because as parents we don’t want to think that we cause suffering in our beloved children. But we do (or at least, those of us who use mainstream parenting techniques usually do), and it should be brought out in the open.

I should note that I am among the perpetrators of non-compassionate behavior towards my own children, and I make no claims to perfection. I have recognized the problem, however, and I’m trying to change.

Teaching Compassion to Our Children
First: why is this issue so important? Because creating a more compassionate world requires that the next generation — our children — learn to be compassionate.

And how do we teach compassion to our children? By talking about it or making them read articles on Zen Habits? Well, that’s a good start, but even more important is that we model compassionate behavior — starting in the home. That means we need to be compassionate toward everyone in our homes, including our children.

Sounds great so far, right? But do we actually do this? If you’ve ever “disciplined” a child with a spanking, with a verbal berating, with a time out meant to teach the child a lesson, you’ve acted in a way that isn’t compassionate.

Let’s explore this a bit more.

Discipline Isn’t Compassionate
When a child gets angry, throws a tantrum, throws toys, hits another child, or cries loudly, parents often will use force to stop the child — sometimes this force is simply coercive language with threat of punishment, sometimes it’s picking a child up and putting him in time out, sometimes it’s actual violence through spanking or slapping or worse.

This is “discipline” and it’s meant to teach the child that what she’s doing is wrong. But what message is usually conveyed instead? That it is wrong when we get angry or upset, that our parents will treat us unkindly when we do, that obeying and conforming is more important than being kind and loving.

When a friend is angry or cries, we don’t slap the friend, or yell at him to shut up, or lock him in a room or force him to sit quietly on a couch. That would be considered not only rude behavior but offensive. What the friend needs is compassion, a gentle hug, a receptive ear, someone who understands and feels his pain and wants to end his suffering.

And yet when our children are upset, we often do the opposite: we do not listen or seek to understand or feel their pain or seek to end their suffering. In fact we cause more suffering. That’s not compassionate.

The Cause of Children’s Anger
Why does a child get upset or throw tantrums or have a crying fit? Often because she doesn’t get what she wants. A teen-ager develops a bad attitude and dysfunctional behavior often because he feels controlled, has no freedom, is stifled and smothered.

The cause of our children’s anger is often … us. We don’t give them the freedoms that normal humans deserve. We don’t believe they have the same right to what they want that we as adults do. We believe we know better (when we sometimes don’t) and so we control them.

But is this compassionate? If another adult told us that he knew better than us, would we like it if he controlled us? Would we like it that he didn’t give us freedoms or allow us to do what we wanted? Undoubtedly not.

In fact, this lack of respect, dignity, and freedom would cause us pain and suffering. Just as it does our children.

Instead of being compassionate, we are causing their suffering.

Compassionate Parenting
Fortunately, there is a better way. I’ve been reading a lot about a philosophy called Taking Children Seriously, and it is a radical break from traditional parenting. Just a note: be prepared to have your beliefs about parenting challenged if you read this site, but keep an open mind and be willing to change your mind.

TCS advocates non-coercive parenting — not forcing the child to do anything, but rather educating the child, guiding the child, helping the child, and trying to lead by persuasion rather than coercion.

It sounds good, but in reality it can be difficult for a traditional parent to accept the TCS way, as it means letting go of notions that a child must “listen” (or obey), that we must teach the child certain lessons and the means justifies this end, that education is rightly done through (coercive) schools, that our way is the right way.

While TCS is not a methodology, one of the fundamental concepts that is put into practice by TCS parents is that of finding a “common preference” rather than either the parent getting her way or the child getting his way. If either of those happens, the other “loses”, which means that either the child or the parent gets hurt.

TCS advocates neither person getting hurt — everyone should win. You do that by considering alternatives until you find an option that both parties are happy with. This is actually consistent with my theory of life — I don’t think we should hurt each other and should find ways to work things out so that everyone is happy whenever possible.

“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.” - anonymous

But What About When …
So what do you do if a child is crying or throwing a tantrum and won’t listen to reasoning? You find compassion for the child — you give her a hug, listen to her if she wants to talk about it, help her get what she wants.

That’s compassionate parenting. And this kind of compassion — feeling the suffering of your child and helping him end the suffering — is the model that our children need to learn compassion towards others. And if they grow up to be compassionate, our world is a better place.

There are many other situations parents will have questions about when it comes to this style of parenting, and I won’t be able to answer them all. I suggest you check out the dozens of articles on the TCS website, read their discussion boards and mailing list, and check out a few of the blogs of TCS parents and advocates. They can explain it all much better than I can.

As for me, I am new to compassionate parenting. I have always had compassion for my children, of course, but I was also raised in a traditional authoritarian style and that’s what I’m used to. It’s hard to change. But I think it is important if I want a more compassionate world.

Once I’ve started with myself and how I treat my children, I can expand from there and show them how to be compassionate towards others in our community, and around the world. But it must start somewhere, and I think with our children is a wonderful place to start.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” - Dr. Seuss

My Kids Love this stuff….Don’t tell Chuck but me too..

• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
  
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  
• Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  
• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
  
• Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
  
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  
• When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  
• Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
  
• Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
  
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
  
• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  
• The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  
• A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
  
• Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  
• Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It’s called Chuck-Will-Kill.
  
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  
• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
  
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
  
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
  
• When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
• Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
  
• Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
  
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
  
• Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
  
• When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
  
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  
• When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
  
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  
• On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  
• Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
  
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
  
• Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
  
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  
• Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”
  
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  
• Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
  
• If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
  
• Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
  
• Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
  
• The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
  
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  
• You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
  
• Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
  
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
  
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
  
• When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
  
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  
• Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
  
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  
• It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

“Anywhere is within walking distance…if you have enough time.”

Terg Ferguson

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond

“I’ve experienced many terrible things in my life…most of which have never happened…”

Terg Ferguson

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

Helen Keller

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond

Posted via email from Become a Better Father with Scott Hammond