• Taking the initiative
• Setting the standard
• Managing
• Planning
• Resourcing
• Identifying vision, goals and priorities
• A good leader takes responsibility and says” the buck stops here”.
• Leaders show the way and model by example what they’re trying to accomplish.
• Leaders press on and press in, and they run counter to the culture of convenience… they refuse to get stuck in the “bright and shiny objects”, diversions, and side eddies of our culture.
• Leaders strain and strive with intentionality and energy to build relationships and create a legacy and heritage and their families…. I do much of this is simply by taking the initiative, being intentional and planning by writing and accomplishing compelling goals that are relationship based…

Leaving a Legacy of Leadership

Who does not want to leave a positive legacy!
We want to leave a heritage to my family, friends, church and community at large.

Think about your personal leadership, through which you leave us a legacy to those behind you. See life as a chance to identify your purpose, position, passion, and posture.

What shapes you?  Intentions?  Motives?  Opinions?  Thoughts?  Responses?  What shapes your words, attitudes, deeds, reactions, and more?

So what is leadership, do you have it?
How do you get it?
What are you leaving behind now?
What do you want to leave behind?
What will change in order for you to do the above?
How do you get there from here?

To impress or to influence…
would you rather impress someone or truly have an influence in their life?  Impressions are on the surface, therefore, are often superficial.
Influence on the other hand, is often real, honest, and requires far more ability.
Influence necessitates communication with people and the cessation of self absorption.

Your life’s lessons…
Many of our life’s lessons are made up from our experiences, relationships, and mistakes. Have you been honest with your fears, failures, frustrations, and feelings?

The above serve to shape your life’s message. That life’s message consists of a spiritual component, your life’s lessons, your life’s passions, and indeed, your life’s mission. Most of what we call failure can be transformed to tangible lessons we can share with those we have relationships with; pain transformed to purpose and passion.

Every leader has 5 components that define him or her.

1. Let’s talk about your POSITION…
Are you in a position to be credible, vulnerable, real, and genuine?
Are you believable, touchable, straight up, humane, and do you have integrity?

2.  Every leader must have his PURPOSE.
People are the priority.
Are you able to connect with people are you a relationship builder?
Do you serve and meet needs?
Do you truly love other people?
Can you allow love to define your purpose and thereby your leadership legacy?

3. The third element of leadership is your POSTURE.
Do you live in a posture of being open, teachable, and always learning?  Are you able to lose preconceived notions ideas and attitudes?  You walk in the Spirit and live in the art of possibility in your day-to-day living?

4. One last element is your PASSION.
Passions define leadership.
What are you passionate about?  Are you a spokesperson for your passions?  What causes, groups of people, or issues do you champion?

5. Your Mission in life.
Do you want to leave a legacy of love for those around you?
Then have quality relationships with people.  Be an example to follow.  Serve others.

Leaving a legacy of leadership also means the facing and overcoming of adversity.  How you deal with adversity defines you. Are you bitter, or better?
You will need faith to face your challenges. Then you can come through, as someone who can truly serve others and help them in their time of need.

A  LEADER–

• A leader knows where she is going, why she is going, and how to get there
• A leader knows no discouragement, presents no alibi
• A leader knows how to lead without being dictatorial; true leaders are humble
• A leader leads for the good of the most concerned, and not for personal gratification of his or her own ideas
• A leader looks for the best in those he or she serves
• A leader marches with a group, and interprets correctly the signs of the pathway that leads to success
• A leader has his or her head in the clouds, but his or her feet on the ground
• A true leader considers leadership as an opportunity for service
• A leader is one who has not sought the high places, but who’s been drafted into service because of his or her ability and willingness to serve
• A leader listens, communicates, and cares
• A leader has courageous conversations
• A leader manages time, money, resources and is a good steward
• A leader washes dishes, cleans the bathrooms, and does what’s needed
• A leader does not look for, nor require, kudos

In conclusion, we all need to–
Find our voice and use it toward our life’s passions, purpose, posture, and position to leave a legacy of leadership. Find your voice and your gifts, and use your voice and your gifts. Lastly, help others find their voice and their gifts, so they too may leave a lasting legacy of leadership and a heritage of love.

2. MENTORING–Being good at bringing your kids up to their potential in any skill by helping, leading, serving, and coaching.

3. LEADERSHIP–Learning to be the initiator, instigator, and to lead with compassion.

4. TIMING–Understanding rhythm, cadence, and precise timing both in how to speak and when to speak….or not!

5. IMPROMPTU SPEAKING–Really being prepared to speak in a compelling way at any moment of need. Being here now AND having something cogent to say.

6. GOOD PLANNING–the skill to exercise good focus, organization, and productivity in all aspects of parenting and family life.

7. RELATIONSHIPS–People are what is of value in life. Relationships therefore, become paramount. It is how we develop these that defines us as individuals.

Boring ideas lose.
Boring people fade.
Boring organizations fizzle.

LESSON LEARNED: There is inverse relationship between how successful you are and how boring you are.

Seth Godin talked about this at length in a recent podcast with Ductape John:

“If the marketplace isn’t talking about you, there’s a reason,” Seth says. “If people aren’t discussing your products, your services, your cause, your movement or your career, there’s a reason. The reason is that you’re boring.”

This reminds me of the movie American Beauty. Towards the end, Ricky (the outcast) finally shoots down Angela (the popular girl) by evoking her deepest fear: That she’s normal.

“You’re boring. And you’re totally ordinary. And you know it,” Ricky says.

Devastated, Angela storms out of the room.

Ouch.

What about you?

Are YOU normal? Do your customers perceive you as normal?

Hope not. Your business depends on it.

Today we’re going to explore a list of thirty ways to become the most interesting person you know. As someone who makes a living writing books about “not BEING normal,” (as well as being pretty abnormal himself!) each of these practices comes from my direct experience, observation, research and reflection.

1. Avoid the Always/Notice the Never. Find out what people who do what you do ALWAYS do, then do the opposite. Similarly, find out what people who do what you do NEVER do, then do the opposite. Here’s a helpful video module with an exercise you can implement to make this practice happen. What are you currently doing that’s unpredictable?

2. Make the mundane memorable. What do your voicemail, email signature, business card, website and blog have in common? ANSWER: They’re all boring. Keep in mind: Nobody notices normal. Nobody buys boring. And nobody pays for average. So, the secret is to create a seamless predictability among all marketing touchpoints. All of these are underused branding hotspots (and more!) require a unique touch. How many customers is being boring costing you?

3. Don’t be one-dimensional. I once had a boss whose sole interest, purpose and passion in life was sports. That’s it. The guy couldn’t carry conversation like a normal person unless the topic related to sports. Or, if the conversation was not about sports, he’d go out of his way to make sure it slowly became that way.

THEE most uninteresting, one-dimensional guy I ever worked with.

Now, I’m not against having a passion for sports. I love sports. (Go Cardinals!) What IS as a problem, however, is when you maintain such a limited worldview and openness for activities and experiences outside of your scope of interest, that is mars your ability to relate to others in a healthy way. Bor-ring. How many dimensions do YOU have?

4. Learn the principles of amazing storytelling. Stories are powerful. Stories are better than statistics or quotes. Stories are what customers; readers and audiences remember and connect with most. Ultimately, stories are the best way to communicate a message. So, if you want to become a master storyteller, my suggestions are: (1) Listen to Garrison Kiellor, (2) Read Made to Stick and (3) Attend Doug Stevenson’s Story Theater program. How many people are repeating YOUR story?

5. Be a story distiller. BUT, you can’t just tell the story. Because that’s not enough. So, when your story is over, don’t just move on to the next story. First, figure out the lesson(s), universal human experience/emotion, practical take home value and Call to Action. Here’s a helpful article on how to extract take-home value. Why are you telling this story?

6. Be a Smokin’ Hot Piece of Brain Candy. One of Edward DeBono’s most underrated books is called How to Have a Beautiful Mind. In the opening he states: “As you get older, physical beauty tends to fade. But beauty of the mind is independent of age and can actually increase with wisdom and experience.”

In short: Be Brain Candy.

This idiom of psychological attractiveness means “someone with high mental appeal AND significant substance.” It’s more enduring, attractive, marketable, approachable, memorable and, of course, more INTERESTING. Check out my Top Twenty List of Smokin’ Hot Pieces of Brain Candy. Are you eye candy or brain candy?

7. Be childlike, but not childish. One person’s playful spirit brings out the same in another. So, by acting childlike, you subconsciously give other people PERMISSION to the same. It’s contagious. It’s approachable. It’s memorable. And everyone can relate to it. How are you giving people permission to be playful around you?

8. Be more challenging. Ask questions like: Is that always the case? So what? What stops you? What would happen if you didn’t? What’s your proof? Break people’s patterns. Make them stop, think and say, “Wow…” It works. How challenging are you?

9. Be radically honest. It’s unexpected and unforgettable. Read this life-changing book and, if you practice what Brad practices, I guarantee you’ll become twice as interesting of person by the time you’re done. How are you branding your honesty?

10. Become a Question Master. It’s not just about asking a bunch of questions; it’s about valuing a questioning attitude. So, every time you hear or read a question that makes you react in ANY way, write it down. Add it to your running list of questions. Categorize them. Sort them alphabetically to make it easier on your eyes. My list has 6000. How many questions do you have on your list?

11. Books. Speaking of books, I suggest you make a list called, “Top Ten Most Interesting Books I’ve Read.” Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those books so interesting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice that in your own life. What did you read today?

12. Consciously choose how you experience the world. In his mind-blowing book, Playful Perception, Herbert Leff suggests, “Expand your repertoire of useful awareness plans and you will improve the flavor and value of your inner experiences. Increase the choice about the quality of your experience.” Check out this awesome list of 43 awareness plans to make your daily life more interesting. Are you making mindful choices for experiencing the world?

13. Create Points of Dissonance. Vagueness stimulates curiosity. And curiosity is a natural motivator of human engagement. So, there’s a certain dissonance when people observe an unexpected or unexplained behavior. Especially when it’s inconsistent with their environment. (Like seeing some guy wearing a nametag at the gym, for example.)

The challenge is to craft an idea, a message, or a look that when people are first exposed to it, they can’t help but respond with, “Huh?” or “Ok, so, I just HAVE to ask…” Those words are money in the bank. Remember: The most effective way to attract people’s attention is to B-R-E-A-K their patterns. Copyblogger has a killer post about being interesting as it relates to this topic. What patterns are YOU breaking?

14. Establish your voice. If you want make your thinking, writing and speaking more unique, relevant, persuasive, memorable, appealing and more creative, you need to pull material FROM, and cite examples USING multiple, eclectic and personal sources.

In the words of Kurt Vonnegut: “If you want to be a great writer, be a great date for your reader.” Here’s a meaty, practical guide on how to do this. WARNING: If you’re an Oprah fan, you may not want to read it. Is your writing innovative or imitative?

15. Expand your references. In the book Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins said, “Limited references create a limited life. If you want to expand your life, you must expand your references by pursuing ideas and experiences that wouldn’t be a part of your life if you didn’t consciously seek them out.”

Remember: The more interesting experiences you have, the more interesting people you meet, the more interesting things you see, watch, hear, read, taste, the more interesting places you go, the more interesting you will become. Everything is a plus. How have you stepped out of your comfort zone this week?

16. Explore the word “interesting.” It literally means: Engaging or exciting and holding the attention or curiosity. Arousing a feeling of interest. A state of curiosity or concern about or attention to something. Involvement with or participation in something. An excess or bonus beyond what is expected or due. Something, such as a quality, subject, or activity that evokes this mental state.

OK, so, now that you know that, go do that. Go BE that. On a scale from 1-10, how interesting would you say you are? How interesting would your top 20 customers say you are?

17. Extract the positive characteristics. Make a list called, “Top Ten Most Interesting People I Know.” Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those people so interesting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice that in your own life. This exercise is how I began writing this very module on being interesting. It works and it’s fun. What would an interesting person do in this situation?

18. Extract the negative characteristics. Next, make a list called, “Top Ten Least Interesting People I Know.” Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those people so uninteresting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice the opposite of in your own life. What would an uninteresting person do in this situation?

19. Fascinate yourself with the ordinary. “Evaluate critically every novelty you encounter,” Mihály Csíkszentmihályi wrote in his amazing book Creativity. “One of the surest ways to enrich life is to make experiences less fleeting.” If you do this, you WILL boost your creativity. You will flood your mind with new ideas. You will build a solid foundation of curiosity. And the combination of those three results will mold your melon into an attractive, valuable commodity that your clients will want to have access to.

Remember: Clients don’t want to hire consultants or marketers or coaches – they want to hire cool, smart people who happen to do those things. What ordinary stuff fascinates you?

20. Find interesting in almost anything. Similarly, Edward DeBono encourages people to embrace curiosity by constantly saying, “Now that’s interesting…”“Be able to find interest in almost anything,” DeBono says in the aforementioned How to Have a Beautiful Mind. “Be curious. Explore things. Bring up a discussion. Get people’s opinions, ideas and values. Explore, elaborate and make connections.” Are you practicing that enough?

21. Gain an eclectic education. In his book, The Invaluable Leader, my friend Dale Furtwengler suggests, “Gain an eclectic education. Expose your mind to things outside your normal areas of interest or discipline. The more quickly you can connect with your listeners, the more effectively you can communicate in their language, the more insights you can port from other disciplines, the more valuable you become.”

Your challenge is to infuse your writing, ideas and conversations with the cool, interesting things you’ve learned through your eclectic education. People will become interested. What weird books have you read recently?

22. Hang with interesting people. Listen. Watch. Soak it in. Ask yourself what it is about this person that makes them so interesting. Then DO that. Then BE that. How many of your friends are boring?

23. Have a killer vocabulary. That doesn’t mean use fancy words that showcase your brilliance. Just strong words. Powerful words. Well-timed words. Unexpected words. Perfect words. And of course, killer questions that nobody else is asking. Does your language challenge people?

24. How to Answer a Question. Answering questions creatively, counterintuitively an unexpectedly leads to a higher level of thinking. Which elevates the conversation to a new level. Which enables both parties to discover their individual truths. Which yields more compelling results than if you would have offered a simple yes or no.

This, of course, is very interesting. (You may enjoy this handy guide on how to answer questions in more interesting, cool ways, too.)

So, think about the last time someone answered a question in that way. Weren’t you instantly drawn into that person’s radius? Weren’t you curious and intrigued about what they were going to say next? How often people respond that way to YOUR answers?

25. Identify and amplify your Personal Philosophy. Simply ask yourself the following question, “If everybody did exactly what I said, what would the world look like?”

The answer(s) to this question will become a blueprint of your personal philosophy. Your unique, interesting approach to business, life and people. And if you were smart, you would print these bullet points on a Philosophy Card. Very interesting, indeed. Do you have a business card or a philosophy card?

26. Insert your passion into everything. Embed your passion into the pavement of your daily encounters. You will engage, excite and inspire people because that’s what passion DOES. Embed your passion into the pavement that leads the way.

For example, let’s say your passion is guitars. Cool. The next step is to begin inserting that passion into every possible Passion Point. Your metaphors. Your pictures. Your gifts to customers. Your ezines. Your tweets. Your office. Your voicemail. Check out my homeboy Mark Williams, The Rockin’ Realtor. Pretty interesting dude. What’s your passion? How many of your customers know what it is?

27. Keep an Interesting Log. Any time someone (yourself included) says, “Wow, that’s SO interesting…” make a note. Write down what was interesting about the topic, thing or idea at hand. Look for trends and patterns. Extract the key ideas and then apply them to your business and life. What three interesting things did you notice yesterday? How many of them did you write down?

28. Pioneer in obscure areas. Believe it or not, I’ve been internationally recognized as “The World’s Foremost Expert on Nametags.” Folks, that’s absolutely insane. I still can’t believe that’s what people call me. However, ever since The Washington Post gave me that title in 2003, it’s stuck. (No pun intended.) So I just went with it. And over time, it’s served me, my business and my wallet well. What specialized knowledge have you developed?

29. Predictable Unpredictability. In Edward DeBono’s book, I Am Right You Are Wrong, he answers the question about what makes something (or someone) interesting:

“There is always interest in a pattern-rich repertoire. If around any subject there is a rich networking of patterns, that subject becomes interesting.”

Your challenge is to build up a critical mass of interest by being what I call Predictably Unpredictable. You do this by positioning yourself in a way where people want to know what’s going to happen next, i.e., “I wonder what nametag related adventure he’s going to have today!” I call it The Caveman Principle™. How unpredictable are you?

30. Transform ideas into questions. I call this creative process “Catapulting.” It’s something I’ve been doing every single day for years. Here are two examples of how it works.

*If someone casually mentions, “I can’t believe I just stumbled upon this for the first time!” then you would write down on your question list, “What have you recently stumbled upon for the first time?”

*If you read the passage, “This behavior will make it hard for people to take you seriously,” you would jot down, “What is affecting your ability to be taken seriously?”

See how that works? Pretty cool. Pretty darn interesting, too. That’s how I’ve collected over 6000 questions. How are you turning ideas into questions and questions into catapults?

REMEMBER: Nobody notices normal. Nobody buys boring. And nobody pays for average.

On the other hand:

Those who are interesting get noticed.
Those who get noticed get remembered.
And those who get remembered GET business.

How successful you become is a function of how interesting you are.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How much money is being boring costing you?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag ]]> http://becomeabetterfather.com/relationship-development/30-ways-to-be-more-interesting-interesting/feed/ 0 http://becomeabetterfather.com/fathering/4-challenges-of-compelling-parenting/ http://becomeabetterfather.com/fathering/4-challenges-of-compelling-parenting/#comments Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:31:12 +0000 Scott Hammond http://becomeabetterfather.com/?p=709 Learning– Creating a family culture of openness, honesty and a love for lifelong learning of compelling and often difficult life lessons. We are lifelong learners.

Really Living– Having a family environment which is engaging, fun, and in the moment. We are learning to stop and enjoy the right now.

Loving– Contributing to a family culture that chooses to love, forgive, give grace and mercy. Deciding and determining before hand that we will choose love first and foremost.

Lasting-- We are running the race with a big picture in mind. Failure is not an option nor is division, divorce, or bailing on each other. We are in this for the long haul– together.

SCOTT HAMMOND—SCOTTPRESENTS.COM

1680 Prairie Hawke Court, McKinleyville, CA 95519 (707) 839-0774

http://www.BecomeaBetterFather.com, http://www.ScottPresents.com

Personal Philosophy and Work Focus

As founder and president of Scott Presents, a personal and organizational

development consulting firm, Scott pursues a whole person approach in sharing information

on communication skills, whole marketing, compelling relationship development, and easy –to- use productivity skill-sets. Scott’s inspirational approach promotes collaborative learning in an informal, compelling style and atmosphere.

The key elements of Scott’s personal philosophy are four- fold:

· Integration, blending the mind (thought), body (action) and soul (purpose).

· Empowerment, acknowledging and supporting the passion and gifts within us.

· Growth, providing the tools to co-create learning and growth opportunities.

· Relationship Development through compelling communication, marketing, and nurturing business and personal relationships.

At the core of Scott’s consulting, speaking and training firm is his passion for “digging deeper.”

Scott draws on easy to understand productivity training, speaking skills, parental expertise with 9 kids, and 30 years of real world marketing to provide tools for greater personal effectiveness, connection to purpose, and achievement of goals. His services focus on engaging all parts of the organization in clarifying shared vision and values, and in implementing those in everyday work and personal life.

Work Focus

Key consulting services include:

(1) building partnerships through easy to learn sales and marketing strategies

(2) organizational change and growth

(3) strategic visioning, goal setting and mission development

(4) personal branding through effective networking skills

(5) marketing and advertising consultation

(6) workshop, training and meeting design & facilitation

(7) collaborative problem solving

(8) coaching

These key services focus on helping public and private sector organizations, businesses, and

communities build strong leaders, teams and relationships among their partners. Partners learn to share responsibility for the successful outcome of the partnership.

Scott lives with his family in McKinleyville, California, and continues his lifelong quest to Be Here Now, enjoy rich relationships, and to make a positive difference by leaving a compelling legacy.

He has completed his book Mid-Life Renaissance and continues to pursue raising a family who carry on his positive legacy of care, compassion, and making a difference and to enjoy each day—One Day at A Time…

]]> http://becomeabetterfather.com/family/scotts-new-and-improved-narrative-bio/feed/ 0 http://becomeabetterfather.com/uncategorized/what-is-the-deal-with-chuck-norris/ http://becomeabetterfather.com/uncategorized/what-is-the-deal-with-chuck-norris/#comments Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:30:50 +0000 Scott Hammond http://becomeabetterfather.com/?p=468

My Kids Love this stuff….Don’t tell Chuck but me too..

• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
  
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  
• Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
  
• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
  
• Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
  
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  
• When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  
• Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
  
• Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
  
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
  
• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  
• The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  
• A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
  
• Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  
• Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It’s called Chuck-Will-Kill.
  
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  
• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
  
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
  
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
  
• When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
• Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
  
• Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
  
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
  
• Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
  
• When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
  
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  
• When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
  
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  
• On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  
• Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
  
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
  
• Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
  
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  
• Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”
  
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  
• Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
  
• If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
  
• Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
  
• Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
  
• The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
  
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  
• You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
  
• Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
  
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
  
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
  
• When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
  
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  
• Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
  
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  
• It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

This last summer I was inspired by what I witnessed at the Beijing Olympics. As the drama unfolded around Michael Phelps’ quest for eight gold medals, I found myself relating to his family watching from the stands. I couldn’t relate to Michael and his mind-blowing accomplishments, but I could relate to the emotions that his family was experiencing: the pride and elation and love.

The reason I could relate to his family was because day after day the network kept telling us the story of his childhood. It was like being invited into his home and sitting on the couch watching home movies and going through family albums. By the time he won his eighth gold medal, I was rooting for him as if I was family. He became my surrogate child and when his mom cried, so did I. His accomplishment was inspiring because I felt I was a part of it.

Make Your Story Their Story

In an inspiring speech, you want to bring people into your experience. They should feel as if they are part of what you are talking about. You want to connect your story to their story. If you don’t make this connection, your speech can be interpreted as indulgent and preachy.

Some of the clients who come to me for coaching on their motivational speeches have amazing stories. Similar to my experience with Michael Phelps, their accomplishments are often so far from my reality that I can’t relate to the accomplishment. However, though I may not be able to relate to climbing Mt. Everest or being a 3-time world champion sportsman, if their story is told well, I can relate to their human experience, and to the drama of their inner struggle, challenge, disappointment or victory.

Reveal Your Inner Struggle

Your story comes alive for me when you reveal your inner struggle. It doesn’t matter what your story is about; climbing a mountain, adopting a child or making a big sale, I can relate to your inner struggle more than to your specific accomplishments. You must be willing to share your private thoughts and feelings in order for me to connect. That means you have to move beyond telling me what happened, to letting me feel your emotions and share in your thought process.

Get Emotional

Your inspiring speech may contain twenty or thirty thousand words but it will fall flat if it doesn’t contain genuine emotion. Words are interesting. Emotions are powerful. It’s not enough for you to tell me stories and share insights. It is the emotional context, shown and experienced rather than narrated, that makes you inspiring. You need to get emotional while you are speaking.

Michael Phelps was emotional and we saw it. His family members were emotional and we saw it. And because I felt that emotion, I connected to the story that was being told. I got hooked. I call that an “empathetic experience.”

Build a Bridge

Your personal experience gives you credibility as a speaker. I don’t care how many books you’ve read or what you’ve learned from your research, I want to know what you know from experience. Once you’ve shared your experience by telling me your stories and giving me examples to support your points, you then need to build a bridge from your experience to my experience.

Hey You! Yeah You!

The way you build a bridge and make your speech more inspiring, is by talking directly to me. Use the word “you” and I know you are talking to me. You make it personal to me by asking me questions like, “what about you?, how about you?, when will you…?” rather than asking “what about us?, how about us?, when will we…?” If you use words like “we” and “us”, they are general and I can pretend you are not talking to me. If you make a point and then say, “This is what I accomplished and you can do this too,” I get inspired. The word YOU is incredibly powerful. Use it.

Talk to One Person at a Time

Every member of your audience is hearing you one-on-one. They are listening to what you say and personalizing it based on their life at that moment in time. It is very immediate for them. Consider the difference between speaking to the “whole audience” versus speaking to that lady in the third row with the glasses, and then talking to the gentleman wearing the striped shirt, etc. What would it be like if you were talking to your friend? How would you speak to a friend?

Tone It Down

Have you ever seen a motivational speaker that said all the right things but failed to connect? They use a big voice and a big smile, but lack authenticity. They are the cliché motivational speaker that gives motivational speakers a bad name. In working with hundreds of speakers, I’ve found that it has a lot to do with vocal and emotional tone. Get real. Tone it down.

Just Talk to Me

A woman in a recent Story Theater Retreat came to me with one goal: to get real. Her story was fine, her heart and mind were in the right place, but she was stuck in “speaker” mode. She was having one heck of a time toning it down and just being her authentic self. Somehow she had gotten the message that she had to pump it up to be motivational and inspiring. Every time she got up to speak she’d go into “speaker” mode, and every time I reminded her to ‘just talk to me.”

It took multiple reminders before she finally relaxed into herself and stopped pushing. In the end, she was more inspiring when she toned it down and spoke naturally than she was when she came in the door. She accomplished her goal. She got real.

Intimacy is the Key to an Inspiring Speech

As you sit down to write your speech, stand up! Walk away from the computer. Take a walk with a pad of paper or a voice recorder. Go to a coffee shop with a friend and talk about what you believe. Listen for your natural cadence. Learn to write in your own voice. Think about what you’d say to a friend who is in pain. How would you counsel someone you care about? How would it sound? Be aware of the intimacy in your voice based on the emotion you are feeling. Write your speech with the intention of talking to one person at a time.

The Architecture

I just spent two days working with an aspiring speaker on his keynote. We made hundreds of strategic choices. And over and over again he kept commenting on how complex the design phase was, what I call the architecture of the speech. Without the proper architecture – the right ingredients organized in the right sequence – your speech won’t hold together. Rather than being easy for the audience to follow, it will jerk forward like a car in desperate need of a tune up.

Don’t simply write your speech; design it. How will the pieces hold together? Where will they intersect?

You can write an inspiring speech. You can be an inspiring speaker. Your life and your stories can inspire people. Don’t wait. Start writing your inspiring speech today.

If not you…who? If not now…when?

by Doug Stevenson