2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest Winner Announced!!
June 23, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering
THIS IS OUR 2009 WINNER—A TRIBUTE TO SINGLE PARENTS EVERYWHERE!—Good job Caitlin!
My Dad is awesome because he is the best Dad in the world! What makes my Dad so awesome is that he plays the role of “Dad” and “Mom” since he has raised me and my older sister as a single parent. He works so hard every day, he has his own business, but he still makes time for ball games, dance recitals, track meets or whatever my sister and I are involved in. We can tell Dad anything. He listens to us vent, he hugs us when we cry, and he corrects us when we need it. Our house burned in December, but my sister and I knew that when Dad said it would all be ok, it would be ok. We knew our dad would work non-stop until he had it built back, and that’s exactly what he did. We know if we need anything, he will make it happen. He’s a “dad” to all our friends as well. They all call him “Daddy Matt.” His girlfriend has two boys who he also treats like his own children. We have all become like one big family, and he is the Dad who loves us all. He does everything from play Playstation with them to coach them in wrestling or train them at the gym. They would say he deserves some kind of “Dad of the Year” award as well. He also takes care of anything his mother needs since she is a widow. He cuts her grass, takes care of her car, whatever she needs. He is the most unselfish person on the planet! He does all this and still manages to also be the best cook ever! My dad is awesome!”
Caitlin Y
If you could have 3 Parenting “do overs” what would you do differently? Part 2.
May 21, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Relationship Development
Results from our Informal Survey…
A lot of Doug’s advice struck a chord for me- the 3 things I took from his memorial service were:
1.) LIVE FOR TODAY. Do not dwell on the past, learn from your mistakes, but do not let them haunt you. Do not get caught up in the future. LIVE for the PRESENT! If you make today a success the success will continue into the future.
2.) COACH/MENTOR- take an active role in your children’s interests. Doug coached his last lacrosse game for his younger son’s team just a few weeks before he past away. His boys did not win that day, but they still felt like winners. Doug taught them that what was important was that they played their best, had fun, and had love & respect for their teammates and their competitors. Doug was in the habit of asking his team- “What is my job?” They would respond- “to love us.” “What is your job?” “to love each other.” I am not sure where Doug got these mottos but the point was- teaching & mentoring kids is great for the kids- but was also incredibly rewarding for Doug.
3.) LET GO OF REGRET’S! As tragic of a loss as it was to lose Doug at such a young age- he did get an incredible gift- his diagnosis forced him to let go of regrets. Every man has things he wishes he did differently but we are forgiven for our mistakes- and we should not dwell on them.
Anyhow- sorry for the long response- but these are some of the things I learned from my buddy Doug. And even though he was a “Man’s man” he was never embarrassed to say- “I love you Man!’ and neither am I.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Being a grandparent of two provides remarkable insight into my parenting background. Between my wife and I, we have grown daughters and all that comes with it.
1. I would be more relaxed about encouraging my offspring to explore and think for themselves.
2. I would instill less fear of uncertainty
3. That’s it because, while parenting was a “surprise” for me in my mid-thirties, I can’t imagine life without having at least one child.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
Nothing! That doesn’t mean that I was a perfect parent. I simply would go through that season with the faith that carried me through it the first time. I believe that each child has his/her own spirit, soul, mind, emotion and will. I’d to my best, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to guide that child in the direction of their bent. I have noticed little consistency between what we may consider “great” parenting and how kids turn out. Raising a child is such an act of “trusting God” and a daily dose of humility as those little innocent creations remind us that we are not God and that we need to depend on Him all the more. What a terrifying responsibility…to bring a child into the world via birth or to parent via the blessing of adoption. Yet, having said all of that…I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Fun 2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest
May 17, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Fathering
In honor of Father’s Day 2009 and fathers everywhere www.becomeabetterfather.com is sponsoring a Father’s Day writing contest. We want to know our readers opinions of what it takes to be a great father.
We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.
The question we pose is: ” My Dad is (was)awesome because…”
That’s it!
Here are the official rules…
- Write about what you think a good father is (A poem,essay, or other writing form) and post on your blog with a link back to this blog post. LIMIT 300 WORDS.
- Email your entry to sjhammond@suddenlink.net.
- You must have your entry posted by midnight, Pacific Standard Time, June 21st, 2009.
- June 22nd at 9pm PST, 2009, the lovely Mrs. Hammond and I will pick a winner based on what we think rocks!
- The winner receives a free full one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, a Starbucks gift card, a full-featured blog post on become a better father.com, a cool certificate,and much much more!
- We will post an entry on this blog on June 22nd 2009 containing links to all the entries, so you will get a free link out of the deal.
- We will also do a press release on the winner of the Fathers Day Writing Contest… to be determined.
That’s it and good luck! The question remains: ”My Dad is (was) awesome because…”
Best,
Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine
2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest
May 13, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Fathering
In honor of Father’s Day 2009 and fathers everywhere www.becomeabetterfather.com is sponsoring a Father’s Day writing contest. We want to know our readers opinions of what it takes to be a great father.
We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.
The question we pose is: ” My Dad is (was)awesome because…”
That’s it!
Here are the official rules…
- Write about what you think a good father is (A poem,essay, or other writing form) and post on your blog with a link back to this blog post. LIMIT 300 WORDS.
- Please leave a comment on this blog post to let us know you entered.
- You must have your entry posted by midnight, Pacific Standard Time, June 21st, 2009.
- June 21st at 9pm PST, 2009, the lovely Mrs. Hammond and I will pick a winner based on what we think rocks!
- The winner receives a free full one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, a Starbucks gift card, a full-featured blog post on become a better father.com, a cool certificate,and much much more!
- We will post an entry on this blog on June 22nd 2009 containing links to all the entries, so you will get a free link out of the deal.
- We will also do a press release on the winner of the Fathers Day Writing Contest… to be determined.
That’s it and good luck! The question remains: ”My Dad is (was) awesome because…”
Best,
Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine
Fathers Day Writing Contest 2009/New Web Site Introduction
May 12, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Fathering
For Immediate Release
New Website Become a Better Father.com announces its podcast, blog, and online videos just in time for Father’s Day
McKinleyville, California. June 2, 2009. Scott Hammond, author, speaker, and parenting expert, releases, just in time for Father’s Day, exciting new resources for parents via his Web site: Become a Better Father.com. Visitors can expect a wealth of information that helps them employ Purpose-Driven Parenting to strengthen their family relationships and improve their lives.
As a father of nine (including two special needs children) and an extensive background in leadership training, coaching, consulting, writing, and public speaking, Hammond brings a unique and dynamic energy to helping others become better, more-effective fathers. Although Scott Hammond coaches fathers in particular, his offerings are not limited to just men. Anyone who parents can use his system to make great improvements in their familial relations and enjoy happier, healthier existences. Some of Mr. Hammond’s personal, encouragement-based coaching involves: effective goal setting, honest self evaluation, integrity-based communication, and credibility in word and action.
Are you an effective parent?
Hammond states, “Every parent feels a need to improve their parenting skills, to better reach and teach their children, and to leave a lasting, loving legacy so all family members can live healthier, richer, more productive lives. My parenting program helps fathers identify what they really want, to come forward and embrace their role in the family, and take the steps required for strong, lasting, and positive relationships”.
New Website Features, Just in Time for Father’s Day
The Become a Better Father.com Web site now features podcasting, You Tube videos of Scott in action, a Father’s Day writing contest, an award-winning Toastmasters speech titled, “The Upside of Down Syndrome”, Scott’s Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers materials, how to leave a healthy and strong legacy for our children, and much more.
As a trainer, coach, writer, speaker, consultant, and father, Scott Hammond delivers a comfortable, personal, and informal speaking style that motivates, inspires, and compels others toward positive personal and professional change. With a 30-year, award-winning background in radio, newsprint, and television media, Scott is uniquely qualified to offer a balanced perspective on family and career achievement.
###
What 3 compelling things did your dad do well when raising you? Part 2.
May 7, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Relationship Development
Though I have more than three compelling things to list that my dad did well, here are three that come quickly to mind.
1) My dad taught me the value and activity of work. He didn’t just tell me that it would be good for me, he forced me to learn to work at an early age and then called attention to all the benefits and rewards that were derived from my efforts. Many of those early lessons were difficult, oftentimes not fun…but infinitely valuable to me today.
2) My dad taught me the value of quality performance. He was never one to do a job in such a way as to simply get it done. He always focused on the quality of the job performance as one of its key measurements. In fact, while I was in 3rd grade he wrote something in my elementary school “autograph book” that I still have and remember today: “Any thing worth doing is worth doing well.” It’s great advice and better still if learned and practiced from an early age.
3) My dad taught me the value of a good story. My dad was a great storyteller in the tradition of many of the southern neighbors I grew up around in western Kentucky. His stories could make you laugh, could make you cry, could make you think, could make you cringe and were always guaranteed to make you feel better–whether it was the first or the hundred and first time you had heard them. He taught me that stories were a wonderful way to bridge the gap between people.
Scott, I don’t know if these help or not, but I applaud your efforts to show others how to Become A Better Father…the world certainly needs that right now.
All the best!
Phil
My Most Popular Post
April 28, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering
10 THINGS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY $$
Remember, there are many things in life that are far more important than the size of your investment portfolio or the size of your latest paycheck.
Too often in our capitalistic society, we place too much emphasis on financial achievement and too little on the importance of living a purpose driven life.
- Family… your spouse, your parents, and her kids should come first. Just simply providing for them does not make your family, your number one priority. There is far more you can do for them with quality and quantity time. Love is spelled…. TIME.
- Friends… the older some of us get, the less time we have for our friends. Some people get too busy climbing the success ladder and may not even make time for friends. Big mistake. So many things in our society are disposable, and sadly, friends too often fall into that category. Take time to invest in your friendships, both old and new. How hard is it to schedule a Starbucks coffee, pick up the phone, or write an e-mail?
- Your health… stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, poor relationships with you and your family… all of these can adversely affect your health. Getting caught up in your career and working endless hours can also lead to neglect of one’s health. Workaholism can be deadly. The lack of discipline in making exercise, sleep, a good diet, and a healthy lifestyle can be dangerous if not deadly as well. You get one body, take care of it and treat it with the respect it deserves.
- Kids… investing in your kids is absolutely one of the best investments you can make. Understanding how to relate to, love, care for, and communicate with your kids is vital to becoming a more fulfilled and complete person. Our future is our children. What kind of legacy are you leaving behind? Relationships that are fully orbed or just a fat portfolio?
- Education… being a lifelong learner is a lifelong process. It’s not about being enrolled in the school or a fancy college or receiving a piece of paper. It is, however, about being someone who is hungry to learn, willing to change, and ready to embrace new ways of looking at life and the universe. As long as you have your mental capacities, you can keep learning and building on what you already know. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.
- Having fun… people get so caught up in society’s money game that wealth becomes an addiction, an obsession, and the purpose for their existence. How many wealthy people aren’t healthy people who spend far too much time and energy chasing promotions, money, and possessions. We can end up with lots of toys and turn out to be pretty unhappy people… big mistake.
- Solving social problems… how can you be a voice in society for those who do not have the ability to speak for themselves? Whether it’s poverty, divorce, suicide, teenage pregnancy, name your issue… you can have a voice and be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Your community is full of opportunities for you to volunteer, donate time or money, and get involved.
- Your neighbors… give the neighbors a chance. Don’t write them off because they aren’t the same age, race, or occupation as you. What’s the sense of neglecting neighbors, since they can be sources of friendship, if given a chance? Part of our connection to the greater society is defined by our neighborhoods, which are full of neighbors— who could be friends we haven’t met yet.
- Appreciating/valuing what you have… right now make a list of 10 things that you really appreciate. What is on your list? Despite our overall affluence, we still lament material things we lack rather than appreciating and valuing the material and nonmaterial things we do have. Don’t forget relationships.
- Your reputation… a good name is to be had above riches. It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, but only moments to lose it. We chase after many things in life, and we often de-value and under-invest in relationships which should have our focus and priority. How many men have thrown it all away in a quick but twisted attempt at some forbidden fruit?
Why Leave a Lasting Legacy?
January 4, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Goal-setting, Relationship Development
Legacy…on what does that word mean to you? Leaving a positive and compelling legacy or heritage is what life is really about. ..
What is the key to success?
What really matters?
What footprint are you leaving on life and others?
Do you want to impress or influence?
What is the stuff of a real legacy?
In a word—relationships.
The quality of your legacy will be measured by the quality of your relationships through life. Leaving a heritage and legacy is not rocket science. Success, real success, comes from intentionality and achievement of goals and planned outcomes around relationships with others. These key relationships define your values and determined the heritage or legacy you leave behind.
This is a form of immortality in that you leave a piece of your life behind with those whom you’ve loved and had relationship with. As you pour your heart and life and gifts and to others,you truly begin to define your life message as you invest in other people. These friends and loved ones and family members cannot help but be touched by your real-life example, model and witness.
We all leave footprints when we walk on the beach of life and the same is true for our walk through life. We are all leaving behind something. For some us it’s a mixed bag. For some of us it’s extremely negative and for others it’s a positive life legacy. These are the relationship based people who prepare for a real inheritance of true riches by transferring their passion and love over to others. This love is more often caught than taught. These are the people who model a positive life two is solid and sane walk through life that leaves each of us changed, sometimes in the most subtle way.
Transferring your passion to other people through intentional awareness and focused planning of who you are and who you want to be is a core practice of a life well lived. Much of this is on the subconscious level, and is not animated, overtly planned, or conscious. These are the people who touched our lives, and didn’t even know it. These are the ones who profoundly changed us with how they lived and conducted their lives in love, faith, hope, kindness and gentleness. They are genuine people who live transparent lives and leave real riches behind that have nothing to do with stuff. They are relationship based from beginning to end. They are relationship people, not stuff or object people. Possessions and material goods mean little or nothing to these relationship based individuals,
How do we then go through life being aware, focused and intentional in developing and fostering quality relationships, which result in a positive legacy? What are the keys, core values, outcomes and questions, which can unlock this life well lived? What are the principles? What are the rules? What of the protocols? Where do we get started? Who are the examples? How do we know when we are on track or not?
People who leave a positive life legacy and heritage through life lived on purpose in positive relationships are truly rich. They’re transferred passion and modeled and taught us things that are truly important. May we be as good as students as they are teachers.
Parental legacy—
What is the bottom line of what you want to leave behind as a parent? Is it…
· Money?
· Portfolios?
· Real estate?
· Stuff?
· Values?
· Faith?
· Ethics? or something much more?
What does a genuine positive legacy look like? What are the elements, characteristics, and hallmarks of a positive legacy and heritage? What is the essence—the bottom line here?
The answer lies in nurturing relationships. Relationships are all we leave behind. To be more effective parents, who leave a positive heritage and legacy we need to be able to equip and nurture our children and it starts in the context of relationship. This is to set the foundation of best practices as a family leader or parent and involves…
1. Time to foster nurturer relationship with their kids.
2. A foundation of best practices, systems and protocols regarding family.
3. To incrementally introduce and practice the habits, attributes, and tools to parent with purpose driven intentionality.
4. To correctly grow our families to fulfill their best and highest potentials.
5. To listen and express oneself — being an active participant and honest communication
6. Being an actively engaged family member
7. To willingly and purposely pass on our love, humanity, and positive values to our loved ones
What is the essence and bottom line? These are just some aspects of the positive parent total legacy…
1. Foundation of faith
2. Contentment and satisfaction
3. Knowing who you are—strengths and weaknesses, gifts and more
4. Hopes, dreams and visions
5. Lessons learned and experiences gained
6. Knowledge and wisdom and understanding
7. Values and ethics
8. A thankful spirit
9. Love for God
10. Love for people
11. Love of nature and creation
12. Love of themselves
Is critical and crucial that we pass along a positive legacy because it pleases God, blesses the community, and identifies personal quality so lacking in our world. People of genuine quality are a rare and precious phenomenon today. By loving our children unconditionally and making them our priority of focus and care, we can add to what’s lacking in our civilization.
3 New Year Resolutions–Less is the New More
January 3, 2009 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Goal-setting, Relationship Development
Less is more…
- Spend more time with God…Pursue making time to simply be with Him in prayer, meditation, and quietly waiting on Him.
- Loving my Wife Consistently…Making the time to grow in our relationship in dates, time, and having opportunities to grow in our relationship with God and each other. Loving my kids; Intentionally making them part of my day: everyday via play, talking and listening, and incorporating them into my life/schedule.
- Self Discipline…Just executing reasonable discipline and time management in finances, cell time, web time, sleep, healthy eating, exercising, driving safely, and eliminating absorption with over-achievement, fear, worry, and angst. Actually doing less ; which is the new More…
10 Ways to Become a Better Father
November 24, 2008 by Scott Hammond
Filed under Family, Fathering, Uncategorized
It has now become necessary that fathers understand a few top 10 ways to become a better dad because those days are gone when the mother was solely responsible for the overall upbringing of the child.
The first way that comes to mind is to spend a greater amount of time with your kid. Either you spend time with your kid now or watch him fly away as he grows up. Time comes first. Quality time comes next. Once you have planned the time to give to your child, then, look at ways to make the most and best of this time.
The second way to become a better dad is to take an interest in what the kid is doing. Kids are smart and can tell when the dad is actually interested in what they are doing. They will respond to daddy once they understand that what they do is important to dad. If they can see that dad does not consider their activities and concerns as important, they will take it as a lack of support.
Third is to participate with the children in their activities. Just try and study, play and participate in their activities and see the difference. Any child would love to have the feeling that his day to day activities are as interesting to his dad as it is to him. He immediately gets a friend.
Fourth, trust the kid. He is one small guy, facing the whole wide world and the only person he feels safe with is you. Repose the same trust in him. When he makes a mistake, try and get to the bottom of the problem and resolve it.
Do not blame the kid without full investigation. In case the fault is with the child, try and understand the circumstances. Give the child the understanding so that he can cope with similar situations better.
Another way would be to eat at least one meal together everyday as this is the time when you are most relaxed and you can simply chat with your kid over a meal.
Next be with the kids at bed time. This is the time when they like to be calmed down after an active day. They need to be re-assured that their parents are there just before slipping off to sleep.
To become a loving father to your kids, making a habit of reading aloud to the child at bedtime everyday will give him a sense of steadiness as well as enjoyment.
Praying together is another way of bonding with the child.
Lay down basic rules and be firm, but not inflexible about them.
Get to know his friends and involve yourself in some activity together with them.
These are a few top 10 ways to become a better dad and following them will definitely bring your relationship with your child forward.
Vincent Yim is the founder of http://BetterSmarterKids.com, he created kid’s weblog is for the purpose of providing a platform to all parents who can share and learn valuable ideas and tips in bringing up our children by understanding their interest behaviors viz children healthy foods, educational toys, kids hobbies, clothing, activities and games, schooling and moral values….etc.