Secret#3. Time = Love.

Some fathers spend more time with their kids in one day, and some debts due in one week, or even one month!!

Why?…The difference?

Intentionality.

Time spent with your child shows your love by action.
We need both quality and quantity time with our kids.
We need to include them in our world, and include ourselves in their world.

Here’s some examples of what I do with my kids.

These are areas where we’ve found common ground to play together…

1. hot tubbing
2. trampoline
3. on the swing
4. basketball
5. playing Legos
6. playing boardgames
7. doing crafts…

You get the picture… find common ground and leverage the time with your kids.
You must be intentional and methodical and sequential if you are to be successful in this endeavor of spending quality time with your kids…

This means…

1. date your kids…Go to Starbucks, bagels, McDonald’s, ice cream or whatever
2. put them in your day timer or in Outlook
3. schedule them, as you would your most precious appointment… because that’s what these are.

have daily and weekly schedule routines together, including…

• Meal times… the best place to teach your kids your values, heritage, and spiritual foundation.
• Bedtimes… a key point in showing love, closing the day correctly, and praying together
• Weekly rituals… Friday night pizza, movie night, the family night etc….
• Running errands… always bring a kid with you on car rides… again leverage the time.
• Chores and projects… build relationships and teach a good work ethic… All in one package!

Let’s address the “I don’t have time” excuse.
Everyone has time, no exceptions.
We give time to what we value the most.
Create time today that you would normally spent on TV, the Internet, sports, hobbies, boating, hunting golfing, or just being lazy….. begin to incrementally give it to your children!

Just hang out with your family and kids because you want to and get to.

Not because you HAVE TO…
Make a solid choice of attitude and motivation.
We GET to hang out with our kids.. we are blessed and privileged!
How could you be more intentional and incremental in dating your kids?

Dream it, plan it, write it, and do it!

Follow through…

If not you, who?
If not now, when?

Secret#2. Unconditional Love:Respect

Respect is defined as… to care, esteem, regard, venerate,revere, honor or reverence.
It is at the core of how all individuals would like to be treated and spoken to.
As fathers when you to show it, in our conversation, tone, actions and kindness to her children.

We need not talk down to them as a smaller person, who is weaker, vulnerable, or less valuable.
Our children need to know they are accepted and acceptable.
They must know they are respected and honored by how they are treated in our…

• actions

• attitudes

• words

• and our non-verbals…

Here’s the test… would you speak to or treat another peer or adult in the same manner you do your kids?
Do you..?

1. talk down to them?
2. berate them
3. raise your voice or yell at them
4. display poor attitude in your tone or non-verbals?
5. show inappropriate anger and frustration and annoyance with your kids?

So if you would not treat another adult like manner, why would you address your kids whom you love as much or more with such disrespect and dishonor?
It seems to me that many parents think it’s okay to not treat your kids with love and respect and address them in inappropriate and dishonoring fashion as individuals.
That’s not to say that when correcting or having courageous conversations with our kids. We can’t show frustration, appropriate anger or annoyance at their immaturity or misbehavior.

Does your child really fill accepted and acceptable?
Respected and honored?
How would your kids respond differently to you, if you consistently address them with appropriate respect and honor?
Begin to show in your your conversation, kindness, actions and tone as well as your non-verbals and you will see a transformation, both in yourself and your children!