As a family with nine children, we’ve had to learn the division of labor in a very real way.
If we’re not coordinated, communicating, and on the same page, our lives quickly turn into chaos.
One of the things that we’ve learned to do is to balance work and family by getting our whole family to share responsibilities for the workload…. this includes…
General cleaning and more…
It all starts with communication…. We’ve had several family meetings over the years to help us figure out and identify shortcomings and weakness and to bring resources and labor to solve problems.
There are a couple things that we found to work well…
- the family meeting… communication and creativity are key
- having a family chore chart posted in a common area… this way there is no negotiation. The chart knows all…
- we include standards, with consequences if the person doesn’t do his or her share of their chores
- we teach chores at a very young age, so that even the youngest of our family knows what is expected and can contribute on some level to the betterment of our family
- whenever possible, we try to make chores fun or less burdensome. We add music, talking, laughing and general fellowship wherever possible…
- lastly, we as parents offer frequent praise and appreciation to each person contributing to the welfare of our family. We are free to encourage and express thanks.
Beware of mom or dad inheriting the undone chores. The occasional rescue operation is okay but when one of us ends up having to cover on an ongoing basis, beware of bitterness, anger, and resentment.
The heart of a servant is the key to all the above…
We believe that is caught, not taught. It is truly a difficult character trait to train into children.
But it can and must be done. So, we continue to model a servant’s heart and to be doers. When it comes to family chores, it is not an overnight process and should be looked at as an ongoing training project, approached incrementally, sequentially and methodically.
Men are great project managers in the workplace, and even at home, but we fail miserably when it comes to relationship building…. allow me to explain….
Men tend to be great planners, movers, shakers, project managers, people managers…but we are often crappy at building relationships with those we love… why is that?
We can run a business and government, and even a society, but were often poor at running a family.
Our family—wife, children often get the leftovers of our mind, body emotions in spirit at the end of the day.
Here are a few of the reasons, the issues, problems, and challenges that face men and undermine their desire to create and build relationships of quality with their families…
No goals, objectives, or written plan to make family a priority
Poor time management skills… just being too busy… not making time for their priorities
Poor skill sets with fathering
Poor fathering examples
Buying, owning and maintaining too many possessions and stuff
1000 other distractions, including low priority activities such as….
- illicit activity
And when men get stuck, we never ask for directions….
How can we possibly admit weakness, vulnerability, or just being lost?
This all makes for a very sad situation.
Men are not picking and living heir priorities….
and once lost, not seeking to find a way back on track….