Communication has two parts… listening and expressing yourself. Each must occur for communication to be successful…
Listen well to family members and encourage them to talk about what’s most important to them. Listening is as important as talking; everyone needs someone to listen to them. The listener should not feel obligated to advise, analyze, or have all the answers.
Listening is difficult when strong emotions are present. Deal with them first, so that you can listen calmly and fully.
Making yourself available to listen, even when your spouse or child may not be quite ready to talk, is a good first step.
- an attitude of openness and respect
- clarifying meaning
- a validating response
Guidelines for expressing yourself clearly include…
- describing your feelings… share your feelings with "I" statements
- say what you mean in a simple, direct way
- describe how other people’s behavior affects you without blaming
- be aware of your non-verbal communication
Effective family communicatin isn’t easy. Learning new communication patterns takes practice. In hard times, when people are overwhelmed with worries and responsibilities, it’s often the family that is left out. It’s at these times when it’s especially important to plan a few minutes when everyone can be together, or when you can be alone with a family member without interruption. Be sure to save difficult problem-solving conversations for times when you’re not tired. Being able to discuss and vent angry feelings can help keep those feelings from creating more severe problems such as emotional problems, family violence, or alcohol abuse.
One of life’s terrors for the uninitiated is creating a speech.
Some first reactions might be terror and fear and sheer panic.
But like anything else, creating a speech can be learned and mastered.
The fact is each one of us has a store of material, which should be of interest to others.
There’s no reason why it should not be adapted to a compelling speech…
- Know how to speak… being able to speak well may lead to mean better grades, better pay, and better communication.
- How to pick a topic… what are your interests? What do you know about a given field or subject? What are the interests of those to whom you will speak?
- How to plan what you will say… here’s where you do your homework… in short, gather and learn far more than you’ll ever use. Organize, outline, and edit your notes to three basic parts.. the introduction, the body, and the conclusion or summation of your speech.
- Introduction… this sets the mood. First impressions are everything. Tell them what you are about to tell them.
- The main body… this is your core content. Make sure it is entertaining, persuasive, inspiring, instructional, or a good combination of these.
- Conclusion or summation… tell them what you just told them. A good ending sets the speech in the audience’s mind. It reviews the main points of the speech and perhaps repeats a phrase which most embodies what the speaker has hoped to convey.
- Sound spontaneous.. it takes three weeks to prepare a good ad lib speech. Make it come together smooth and easy.
- Brevity is an asset… Be brief, be brilliant and be done. 20 minutes are ideal.
- Check your grammar… consult a dictionary; pronounce words carefully.
- At the lectern… pick three or four people in the audience, preferably in separate sectors, who seem to be having a good time. Focus on them during your speech.
- Remember, the larger the crowd, the easier it is to speak, because their response is multiplied and increased.
- Breathe….deeply and often!
- Walk every day… aim for 30 minutes of brisk walking, or equivalent aerobic exercise. Boosts your HDL cholesterol and helps you lose weight.
- Create a saturated fat-free zone… clear your kitchen and your pantry of saturated fats like butter, solid margarine, shortening and foods containing coconut, palm, or partially hydrogenated oils. Use olive oil instead.
- Try gourmet oatmeal…It’s super source of cholesterol fighting fiber and tastes great.
- Eat whole grain breads…. unrefined flour is cholesterol fighting fiber…. check your labels, as everything is not what it appears… make sure it is 100% whole wheat.
- Get a blood profile… ask a doctor for this measure of good and bad cholesterol and triglycerides… track your results. Do this test regularly.
- Add more fruits and vegetables, in great variety, to your diet. They’re packed with nutrients and fiber, and low in fat and calories.
- Get rid of distracting mannerisms
- Don’t call attention to your notes
- Never apologize
- Arrive early when you are speaking
- Practice your speech within a specified time limit
- Eliminate audible pauses (uh, um…)
- Speak at the appropriate volume for the room
- Enter contests
- Read your speech out loud several times beforehand
- Take a deep breath… enjoy yourself
It’s a wonderful thing, being a father. Below are just seven aspects….
- Conception… we give God the credit for making life. Each individual has a special set of gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses, all destined for God’s special purposes…
- Birth... arguably the biggest event in any parent’s life. All your hopes for your child, the bonding, the linking, as you lay down your life for theirs.
- Your name… as a dad I gave my name to my children to give a piece of myself—my love, my life, my personality, my vision, my walk with God, to each of my kids…
- Your sleeping child… try this again soon… just watching your child sleep and realizing the peace and seeing the tranquility of this event is profound, if you allow it. To realize that they are God’s heritage and that you are pouring out to them. The love of God, training them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
- Your dinner table… a family meal is a fun experience at our house. Heaven’s banqueting table. The best barometer of family life. It takes work, but you can impart the heart of God at the dinner table. It’s a time for fun, laughter, questions, comments, and differences to come forth.
- High school graduation… this recognizes a goal accomplished. It’s good to move on from the family home when the time is right. Remember, it’s a letting-go process. Keep healthy relationships intact as your child becomes an adult.
- Their mate… it’s a cool thing to watch God put love in the hearts of your kids for their mates. They become a family unit. What’s really cool is that that mate truly loves my child with a deep love that is hard to find. Hopefully they’re tracking with God when they pick a mate.
- The grandkids… this is the special joy. The attention, the treatment, the fun times when grandparents can really enjoy the process of child becoming parents—the whole experience.
To my son Jacob Hammond:
I love many things about you…
Your hanging out with me during your time of growing up .
Your sense of humor.
Your spending time with me, doing chores, projects, and jobs around the house/property.
Your selfless generosity to your family and friends.
Your fierce friendship when sticking up for others.
Giving rides, money, pizza, and ice cream to those to whom it meant much.
Your kindness to strangers,business clients, and customers.
Your diligence at work, school, and home
Your brotherly nature and love for your family.
Your telling me about your day.
Your servant’s heart.
- Find an appropriate and interesting persuasive speech topic… examples could be: popular culture, sports, music or other current events.
- Set realistic goals… you’re not a change someone’s mind in an eight minute speech. You might change their mind about a smaller part of your issue, but you will not change in opinion about a major issue with a short speech.
- Know your audience well…, to be persuasive he was absolutely identify with your audience and make your audience identify with you. Who are the members of your audience? What’s important to them? What their values? Demographics? Psycho graphics? You need to understand who your audience is and what kind of appeals might persuade them.
- Use local examples… to identify with an audience use local examples they can relate to. Business, geography, stores, sports teams, personalities and the like. Use excellent evidence… do your research. Use lots of statistics, fax, quotes from credible people, and organizations.
- Represent the other side accurately… when discussing the other side’s point of view, be sure your accurate. You’d accurately represent their motives and points of view
- Representative aside sympathetically… state clearly that although you disagree with the other side, in extended people who disagree with, you have good reasons for doing so. Never say or imply that people who disagree with you are immoral, unethical or unkind.
- Find common ground with the other side… your audience will identify with you if they understand, that although you have different opinions, if similar goals and values.
- Use good disclaimers… disclaimers are statements that present an argument against your position and explain why this argument is not correct. Remember represent the opposing views with accuracy and respect.
- Asked the audience to take action…. make it easy for them to do so. Make your action step as easy as possible, as most people are very busy and simply don’t have time for complex tasks. Examples include… signing a petition, mailing a letter, filling out a brief form.
- Show the audience that you care very much about your topic… they don’t care how much you know, till they know how much you care.
- keep your head up…
- keep your hands neutral…
- knees straight, balance your weight…
- gestures up high..
- rotate your eye contact and focus around the room…
- Time to movement with your statements…
- an emphasis on appropriate sentences, words, phrases…
- big expressions…
- big pauses…
- keep your body alignment and posture, tight, focused,and centered.
- be prepared…
- rise slowly…
- keep calm…
- speak slowly, clearly…
- avoid mannerisms…
- speak to the point…
- be gracious…
- be bright… be brief… be bold…. be brilliant… be gone…
- dress properly…
- conclude with enthusiasm.
A leader is someone who..
- a leader knows where she or she is going, why he or she is going, and how to get there
- a leader knows no discouragement, presents no alibi
- a leader knows how to lead without being dictatorial; true leaders are humble
- a leader seeks the best for those he or she serves
- a leader leads for the good of the most concerned, and not for personal gratification of his or her own ideas
- a leader looks for the best in those he or she serves
- a leader leads
- a leader marches with a group, and interprets correctly the signs of the pathway that leads to success
- a leader has his or her head in the clouds, but his or her feet on the ground
- a true leader considers leadership as an opportunity for service
- a leader is one who has not sought the high places, but who’s been drafted into service because of his or her ability and willingness to serve
- a leader listens, communicates, and cares
- a leader has courageous conversations
- a leader manages time, money, resources and is a good steward
- a leader turns off the lights when they’re not being used
- a leader washes dishes, clean the bathrooms, does what’s needed
- a leader does not look for, nor require, kudos